Qin Dynasty: Who offended my frail and sickly minister?

Zhou Wenqing's eyes darted around, ignoring the group of Confucian scholars who were still making a fuss. He turned to face the throne, cupped his hands, and raised his voice:

"Your Majesty, there is still one matter concerning paper that I have not yet addressed."

"Quiet."

Ying Zheng slightly raised his hand and made a downward gesture. His voice was not loud, but it carried the unique deep and powerful pressure of a monarch, instantly suppressing the waves of arguments about "disgrace to civilization" and "the collapse of rites and music".

The hall fell silent. Even the panting Dr. Feng subconsciously held his breath, with only the occasional crackling of the candlelight remaining.

Ying Zheng then looked at Zhou Wenqing, his gaze deep and filled with a hint of expectation:

"Granted."

"Thank you, Your Majesty."

Zhou Wenqing straightened up, looking completely composed.

He deliberately raised his voice by half an inch to ensure that every word was delivered steadily into everyone's ears, especially into the ears of Dr. Feng, who had just caught his breath and was trying to straighten his back to continue "defending the orthodoxy."

"What I just presented were fine paper and draft paper. However, there is another category of paper, which I call—sanitary paper."

"Oh?"

Upon hearing this, Ying Zheng leaned forward slightly, his interest intensifying. "Since you have something new, why not present it along with this?"

"Your Majesty," Zhou Wenqing said without changing his expression, his reason coming out naturally.

"This toilet paper is different from fine paper and manuscript paper. It is especially susceptible to moisture. Today, the wind and rain outside the palace have not stopped, and there is bound to be some dampness inside the palace. If we bring it here rashly, it may become damp and sticky, losing its best properties and becoming unpleasant. Therefore, I did not bring any actual product."

"However, I can explain its properties and functions to Your Majesty and your colleagues in detail."

He paused briefly, glanced around the hall, and seeing that everyone was listening intently, continued:

"This toilet paper is much softer and more skin-friendly than the previous two. Its texture is almost like fine linen or thin silk, but it is also easier to tear into sheets. As for its cost... it is only slightly more expensive than manuscript paper, which can be described as inexpensive."

It is as soft as silk and inexpensive to produce.

Ying Zheng stroked the thumb ring thoughtfully. This sounded like... perhaps it was intended to replace the expensive silk books and make them available to more scholars?

The courtiers in the hall began to whisper among themselves, their faces filled with curiosity and speculation, but no one doubted whether the object truly existed.

"The cost is slightly higher than that of manuscript paper, so it must be whiter and smoother?"

"Perhaps the uniform texture makes it easier to write on?"

"If it's only slightly higher, I'm afraid there won't be a complete transformation..."

Taking in everyone's reactions, Zhou Wenqing added at the opportune moment, his tone subtly suggestive:

"Of course, writing on this paper is not entirely impossible, but its special fiber structure makes it easy for ink to bleed and spread, making it difficult to ensure that the characters are clear and neat."

If the ink smudges easily and the writing is poor, what's the point of making it?

A hint of doubt flashed in Ying Zheng's eyes, and his fingers unconsciously tapped lightly on the imperial desk.

Many officials in the hall looked at each other, and no one spoke for a moment, and the atmosphere fell into a brief silence.

No one would take the bait, so Zhou Wenqing subtly gave Li Si a look.

Li Si understood perfectly and spoke up at just the right moment, voicing everyone's doubts:

"Zhou Neishi, if that's the case, this toilet paper is neither good for writing nor cheap to produce, so what's its purpose? And what is the meaning of the word 'hygiene'?"

This was the question Zhou Wenqing had been waiting for.

He raised the corners of his lips slightly, his gaze seemingly intentionally or unintentionally sweeping over Dr. Feng, who had just caught his breath and was listening intently.

"Li Changshi asked a good question. The use of this thing lies in its softness and toughness, as well as its low price and easy availability. Its hygienic purpose is to protect and maintain health, and to keep it clean."

"Therefore, this thing..."

He paused slightly, then fixed his gaze steadily on Dr. Feng, speaking clearly and calmly, word by word:

"It is excellent for daily wiping and cleaning, and even... as a substitute for toilet sticks."

"What did you say?!"

Dr. Feng's eyes suddenly widened, his pupils contracted, as if he had heard some extremely filthy curse.

His withered fingers suddenly rose, trembling as he pointed at Zhou Wenqing, glaring angrily.

Zhou Wenqing's expression remained unchanged; in fact, he appeared even more composed as he met the other party's fiery gaze.

"I said, this thing can be used as a substitute, a substitute, a toilet, or a token."

He deliberately pronounced the last four words firmly and clearly, making them echo in the silent hall.

Dr. Feng felt a loud "buzz" in his head, his blood rushed to his head, and his vision went black.

"You brat! How dare you, how dare you..."

His chest heaved violently, his face turned from red to purple, then from purple to green, and the words he was about to say were stuck in his throat. His hand, pointing at Zhou Wenqing, trembled like a withered leaf in the wind, and he was speechless for a moment.

The group of young Confucian scholars were stunned, their faces filled with shock and bewilderment, which quickly turned into extreme shame, indignation, and uncontrollable rage.

It was as if Zhou Wenqing had thrown not a single sentence, but a handful of filthy mud, onto the most sacred and inviolable temple in their hearts.

To associate paper, something they had just defined as a "sacred artifact of culture," with such filthy, private, and unspeakable uses?

This is even more devastating than killing them!

"This is outrageous!!"

"This is an insult to civilization! Blasphemy! This is blasphemy!!"

"You brat! How dare you do this?!"

After a brief silence, the group of Confucian scholars erupted like boiling oil in a pot, their angry and furious shouts even more shrill than before, almost lifting the roof off the hall.

Hearing the increasingly jarring clamor, Ying Zheng frowned. He slightly raised his hand, and the attendant standing beside him, understanding the emperor's intention, stepped forward, gathered his strength, and shouted in a drawn-out voice:

"quiet--!"

The sharp and authoritative rebuke was like a splash of ice water, plunging the hall into a stifling silence once more, with only heavy breathing remaining.

Ying Zheng stopped looking at the group of scholars whose faces were pale and ashen, turned his gaze to Zhou Wenqing, and said in a voice that revealed neither joy nor anger: "My dear minister, continue speaking."

"Your Majesty!"

With the help of the young scholar behind him and his urgent attempt to catch his breath, Dr. Feng had just managed to catch his breath when he heard that the King had allowed Zhou Wenqing to continue his "nonsense." He was struck as if by a heavy blow and almost fainted again.

He pounded his chest and stamped his feet, even becoming somewhat exasperated: "This man is spouting nonsense! How... how can we allow him to so... so corrupt and trample on the sacred path, Your Majesty!"

Still not falling? This old man has quite a strong will.

It seems we need to add fuel to the fire.

Zhou Wenqing smiled coldly to himself, but on his face, he feigned just the right amount of confusion: "Dr. Feng, what's wrong with that?"

His voice remained steady and clear, even carrying a hint of earnestness as if he were discussing academic matters, as he spoke eloquently.

"This item is used to cleanse the body and remove dirt. It is soft and will not easily irritate the skin. It is disposable after use, which is much cleaner and more convenient than repeatedly used wooden or stone items. It can prevent dirt from lingering and reduce the spread of disease."

"For individuals, it is a good product for improving the cleanliness of daily life and protecting physical health; for the country and its people, if it can be promoted, it may help reduce minor diseases caused by uncleanliness, and it will also be of some benefit to public health. This is a real benefit to the people."

With each additional statement by Zhou Wenqing regarding the rationale and benefits of toilet paper, Dr. Feng's face grew increasingly red and contorted, and his breathing became more labored and rapid.

Ying Zheng sat high on his throne, his gaze shifting between Zhou Wenqing and Dr. Feng, a hint of understanding and amusement flashing in his eyes.

He suddenly tilted his head very slightly and gave a look to the eunuch standing beside the imperial steps.

The eunuch understood and quietly stirred the charcoal fire in a bronze dragon-shaped brazier next to the imperial steps, making it burn even brighter, and a faint heat rose from it.

The temperature suddenly rose, and the air seemed to become thick and stuffy.

Dr. Feng felt that the air in the hall was so thin that it was suffocating, and that a burning evil fire was lodged in his chest. He couldn't breathe, and he couldn't breathe out.

But Zhou Wenqing's clear, calm, and even somewhat persuasive words kept getting into his ears.

"Therefore, although this paper is not good at carrying the words of sages, it has found another way to protect health in the details of people's lives and show convenience in daily life. This is also one of the uses of paper, and it is a practical and important use related to the daily well-being of the people and the cleanliness of the city."

Zhou Wenqing finally finished speaking, his gaze precisely fixed on the swaying old man, a kind smile curving his lips, and he asked softly:

"I wonder if Dr. Feng agrees?"

Do you think...?

Dr. Feng's eyes widened as if they were about to burst, and his whole body trembled violently. With all his might, he squeezed out two broken syllables from between his almost clenched teeth:

"You...you!"

Before he could finish speaking, he suddenly looked up—

"puff!"

A large mouthful of bright red blood gushed out, splattering into a dazzling display of blood on the ground in front of him.

Immediately, he slumped forward softly and silently.

"PhD!!"

"Master Feng!!!"

"Oh ho," Zhou Wenqing took half a step back, raising an eyebrow in surprise.

This old man has no mental fortitude. He fainted, fine, but why did he vomit blood?

"Hurry, hurry, hurry!" Li Si was the first to react, and he strode forward, his face showing just the right amount of urgency and worry, his voice loud enough for everyone around to hear clearly.

"Quickly help Dr. Feng up! Immediately summon the Imperial Physician! Alas, it is His Majesty's kindness that is commendable, but with the charcoal fire burning so brightly in the palace, it is easy for elderly people with poor health to experience a surge of internal heat and disrupt their blood circulation!"

False heat?

The young scholars, who were frantically helping the unconscious Dr. Feng and filled with grief and indignation, looked up in disbelief upon hearing this.

Are you speaking human language?

"Um."

On his throne, Ying Zheng glanced indifferently at the pool of blood and the chaotic crowd, and calmly delivered the final blow.

"Since Dr. Feng is seriously ill and in poor spirits, let him be taken away and treated properly. Considering his advanced age and frail health, and his breach of etiquette in front of the palace today, I will not pursue the matter further."

The pillar of support vomited blood, fainted, and had to be carried away. What else could be done?

Even though the young Confucian scholars were filled with resentment and indignation, they could only suppress it at this moment: "Thank you... thank you for your leniency, Your Majesty..."

Then, under a complex gaze, they hurriedly and awkwardly escorted the unconscious Dr. Feng out of the main hall.

After the annoying figures had completely disappeared, Ying Zheng's gaze slowly swept over the civil and military officials below the throne, whose expressions varied, and finally landed on Zhou Wenqing, who stood upright. He then spoke again:

"Regarding paper, its types, uses, production, sales, and even matters such as the Bureau of All Things and patent rights, we shall handle them according to the advice of Minister Zhou, and Minister Zhou shall be in charge."

Zhou Wenqing quickly stepped forward and bowed, saying, "Your Majesty, I thank you for your trust! However, this matter involves a wide range of issues and is of great importance. It is not something that I can handle quickly and thoroughly on my own. I humbly request Your Majesty to allow me to select a capable colleague to assist me, so that the regulations can be perfected as soon as possible and implemented without hindrance."

Upon hearing this, Ying Zheng glanced at Li Si, who was standing to his side, almost without thinking, and said indifferently, "In that case, Chief Secretary Li will assist Minister Zhou in handling this matter."

"Yes, sir!" Li Si immediately stepped forward, bowed, and accepted the order.

As she took a step, she didn't forget to give Zhou Wenqing a grateful look.

This is an unparalleled achievement! It's all thanks to Brother Zicheng for thinking of him!

"This matter concerns the inheritance of our cultural heritage, the national economy and people's livelihood, and the long-term strategy of stimulating ingenuity and strengthening the country and enriching its people. My mind is made up."

Ying Zheng's gaze swept over the ministers below him.

"At this moment, is there anyone who still has objections to this?"

The hall was deathly silent.

The lowered eyelashes and tightly pursed lips of the officials below were completely silenced, and even the slightest rustling sound of their clothes disappeared. It was as if everyone was deliberately slowing down their breathing.

The bloodstains that splattered before Dr. Feng collapsed had not yet been wiped away; the glaring red was particularly shocking to behold.

Who would dare to object?