Ming Dynasty: A centenarian madman criticizes the Grand Secretary and brings his coffin to court!

Images flow across the sky.

As the smoke of the Battle of Tumu dissipated, the gloom over Beijing grew ever heavier.

Although Gu Canghai's "rocket coffin" brought back the defense map, it shocked the surrender faction.

But there is still one most critical problem facing everyone—

A country cannot be without a ruler for even a day!

Although Zhu Qizhen, the "Oirat student," was deposed, he was still alive and nominally the emperor of the Ming Dynasty.

As long as he remains in power, the defenders of Beijing will always be hesitant to act rashly!

Esen always held a royal flush in his hand!

How to solve this?

Grand Tutor Gu said: I know the answer to this question!

Why not just turn the "royal flush" into "waste paper"?

【Ding--】

[Date: August 19th, the 14th year of the Zhengtong reign.]

Location: Prince Cheng's Mansion, Beijing.

[Event: A historic interview filled with "physical care"—the new emperor's coronation interview!]

on the screen.

Inside the Prince Cheng's mansion, chaos and turmoil reigned.

Our Prince Cheng, also known as Zhu Qizhen's younger brother, is Zhu Qiyu.

At this moment, he was squatting on the ground without any decorum, frantically stuffing gold, silver and valuables into several large boxes.

"Hurry! Hurry up!"

"Take that jade cabbage with you!"

"And that golden rice bowl!"

As Zhu Qiyu directed the eunuchs to pack the food, he muttered to himself, sweating profusely:

"It's all over! The Oirat people are about to invade!"

"Even my elder brother has been sent abroad to study; what good will come of it for me, his younger brother?"

"Run! Get out of here! To Nanjing!"

"I've heard the Qinhuai River in Nanjing is nice; it's a good place to lay low for a while!"

Just as Zhu Qiyu shouldered his bundle, preparing to slip away through the back door...

"Bang--!!!"

A loud bang!

The heavy vermilion gate of the Prince Cheng's mansion was kicked away with a single kick!

It really flew!

The door panel traced a graceful parabola through the air before slamming heavily into the courtyard in front of Zhu Qiyu, kicking up a cloud of dust.

Zhu Qiyu was so frightened that he sat down on the ground with a thud, and the gold ingots in his bundle rolled all over the floor.

"Who?!"

"Have the Oirats invaded?!"

The smoke and dust cleared.

An old man wearing a blood-stained python robe, with disheveled hair, and carrying a gleaming axe in his hand.

Standing at the main entrance, backlit, he looked like a terrifying god!

It was indeed—Gu Canghai!

"Grand...Grand Tutor?!"

When Zhu Qiyu saw who it was, he was even more frightened; his teeth were chattering.

"What...what are you trying to do?"

"Are you going to fight the Oirats? You've come to the wrong place!"

"Cut down the Oirat people?"

Gu Canghai sneered, picked up his axe, and walked in step by step.

Every step felt like stepping on Zhu Qiyu's heart.

"I'm here to chop you up!"

"ah?!"

Zhu Qiyu was so terrified that he scrambled backward in fear.

"Grand Tutor, spare my life!"

"I haven't broken any laws! I just wanted to go on a trip!"

"travel?"

Gu Canghai walked up to Zhu Qiyu and stepped on his bundle full of gold and silver.

Looking down at the cowardly prince, he gave a seemingly amiable smile:

"Does Your Highness intend to go to Nanjing?"

"Yes...yes..."

"Buy a house in Nanjing?"

"Uh... I guess so..."

"Tsk tsk tsk."

Gu Canghai shook his head, his face full of disappointment and frustration:

"Your Highness, you are too naive."

Do you know how expensive housing is in Nanjing right now?

"That land is incredibly valuable!"

"With so little savings of yours, you wouldn't even be able to afford a toilet in Nanjing!"

Zhu Qiyu was stunned.

Are Nanjing's housing prices really that high?

Wait a minute! I'm a prince!

Before he could react...

Suddenly, Gu Canghai reached out and grabbed Zhu Qiyu by the collar like he was picking up a chick, lifting him off the ground!

then.

He was roughly shoved onto a large armchair next to him!

"Sit still!"

"Don't move!"

"I've found you a great job! Room and board included! Plus, a huge villa in the Forbidden City!"

"Not only do you not need to buy a house, but the whole world has to pay your rent!"

"What kind of job is so good?" Zhu Qiyu asked subconsciously.

Gu Canghai pulled out a crumpled, bright yellow piece of cloth from his pocket.

A casual flick of the wrist.

That was a...

It was a little dusty, and I don't know where it came from.

Dragon robe!!!

"Put them on!"

Gu Canghai draped the dragon robe over Zhu Qiyu's shoulders:

"Starting today..."

"You are the emperor!"

boom!!!

These five words were like five bolts of lightning, completely stunning Zhu Qiyu!

His eyes widened as he stared at the gleaming dragon robe on his body, as if he had seen some deadly poison, and he frantically tried to tear it off!

"No!!!"

"I won't wear it! I won't be emperor!"

"Grand Tutor, you've ruined me!"

"My brother is still alive! My imperial brother is still alive!"

"He was just arrested, he's not dead!"

"If I became emperor, that would be usurpation! That would make me a traitor!"

"When my brother returns, he'll kill me!"

Zhu Qiyu cried with snot and tears streaming down his face, desperately trying to break free from Gu Canghai's clutches:

"I won't do it! I'd rather die than do it!"

"I just want to be a carefree prince! I just want to go to the Qinhuai River and listen to music!"

Looking at this "future emperor" crying like a complete idiot.

Gu Canghai's patience finally ran out.

"Don't you want to do it?"

"Snapped!"

Gu Canghai slapped Zhu Qiyu across the forehead.

then.

"Clang!"

The axe that he had been holding all along slammed down hard on the chair between Zhu Qiyu's legs!

It was only 0.01 centimeters away from his "vital parts"!

"hiss--!!!"

Zhu Qiyu instantly squeezed his legs together, cold sweat pouring down his face, and he even forgot to cry.

Gu Canghai bent down, his wrinkled old face almost touching Zhu Qiyu's.

His eyes were as fierce as a hungry wolf's.

"Zhu Qiyu!"

"Listen up, you bastard!"

"Your brother went to study in the Oirat region! He's going to study 'door-knocking'!"

"He won't be graduating anytime soon!"

"The Ming Dynasty is now a mess, leaderless!"

"This throne..."

Gu Canghai pointed to the dragon robe and uttered a golden line that was enough to shatter everyone's worldview:

"It's like a bus!"

"He got off the bus!"

"This seat is just sitting there empty anyway!"

"If you don't go...who will?!"

"Are we going to let that bastard Esen go up there?"

"Should I, this old geezer, take the lead?"

Zhu Qiyu stared at the axe so close to his face and swallowed hard.

"But...but..."

"There's no 'but' about it!"

Gu Canghai pulled out an axe and held it to Zhu Qiyu's neck.

The cold axe blade pressed against my skin, raising goosebumps.

"I'm giving you two choices now."

"First, put on this dragon robe, come with me to the Fengtian Hall to ascend the throne, become the Emperor of the Ming Dynasty, and lead everyone to wipe out the Oirat people!"

"second……"

Gu Canghai sneered:

"I'll use this axe right now to help you go see the Great Ancestor in a 'decent' way!"

"Then I'll just find someone else to be emperor!"

"You choose!"

Is this supposed to be a multiple-choice question?

This is a life-or-death question!

Zhu Qiyu looked into Gu Canghai's eyes, which didn't seem to be joking, and finally broke down.

"I'll take it!"

"Fine, I'll take it!"

"Grand Tutor, put the axe away! I'll put it on! I'll put it on right now!"

While crying, Zhu Qiyu hurriedly put on the dragon robe, buttoning several buttons incorrectly.

"That's right."

Gu Canghai put away his axe, and his face instantly put on a "kind elder" smile.

He straightened Zhu Qiyu's collar and patted him on the shoulder:

"Look how well it fits!"

"She's a natural clothes hanger!"

"but……"

Gu Canghai abruptly changed the subject, pulling a piece of paper and a pen from his pocket and slamming them on the table:

"Words are no proof."

"We need to draw up a written agreement."

"A pledge of allegiance, do you understand?"

"A pledge of allegiance?" Zhu Qiyu looked bewildered.

"Write!"

Gu Canghai shoved the pen into Zhu Qiyu's hand and pressed his hand down:

"Just write—"

"My elder brother, Zhu Qizhen, blindly trusted the eunuch faction, resulting in the loss of troops and the disgrace of the nation. This is truly a disgrace to the Ming Dynasty!"

"They even helped the Oirat people knock on the door, utterly disgracing their ancestors!"

"He's utterly...useless!"

"Today, I, in accordance with the Mandate of Heaven, ascend the throne and become Emperor, remotely honoring Zhu Qizhen as the Retired Emperor (a retired senior official)!"

"May I be struck by lightning if I break this oath!"

"ah?!"

Zhu Qiyu's hand trembled, and ink dripped all over his pants:

"Write...write that my brother is a good-for-nothing?"

"This...this isn't quite right, is it?"

"If he finds out..."

"Isn't he in the Oirat region? What does he know!"

Gu Canghai's eyes widened, and he raised the axe again:

"To write or not to write?!"

"Write, write, write! I'll write!"

Under Gu Canghai's "physical persuasion".

With tears in his eyes, Zhu Qiyu tremblingly wrote down this "Declaration of Accession" on the paper, a declaration that was enough to make his brother furious.

And he pressed his red handprint on it.

Looking at that piece of paper.

Gu Canghai blew on the ink stains with satisfaction and carefully put it into his pocket.

"All done!"

"With this, we're all in this together!"

"Walk!"

Gu Canghai grabbed Zhu Qiyu and dragged him out like a dead dog:

"Come with me to the Fengtian Hall!"

"All the civil and military officials are waiting!"

"Let's go...do something big!"

……

The Hongwu Plane.

Zhu Yuanzhang stared at the scene on the screen, his mouth agape enough to fit a fist.

I was completely stunned.

"this……"

"Is this the new emperor?"

"This is practically a kidnapping!!"

"We've seen robbers steal money, we've seen people steal women..."

"This is the first time we've ever seen someone force someone to become emperor!"

Zhu Yuanzhang pointed at Zhu Qiyu, who was crying his eyes out in the picture, and was both annoyed and amused:

"That kid's a coward too!"

"Being emperor is such a coveted opportunity that everyone else would fight tooth and nail for it, but he's the one who has to be forced into it with an axe!"

"but……"

Zhu Yuanzhang changed the subject, a hint of admiration flashing in his eyes:

"Gu Fengzi's move... was a bit underhanded."

"But it works!"

"Disorderly times call for harsh measures; extraordinary times demand extraordinary measures!"

"If we were to engage in any more empty formalities like 'reluctantly declining' now, it would be too late!"

"Let's cook the raw rice into cooked rice first!"

"As soon as a new emperor ascends the throne, what cards will that 'gatekeeper emperor' hold..."

"It's completely ruined!"

Zhu Di, standing to the side, nodded repeatedly, wiping the cold sweat from his brow.

"yes!"

"Sir, your 'physical persuasion' method, though crude, was satisfying!"

"The throne is like a bus..."

"That may sound crude, but the principle is sound!"

"Now that good-for-nothing great-grandson has gotten off the bus, he can forget about getting back on!"

"This car door..."

"We need to weld it shut!"

……

on the screen.

Fengtian Temple.

The civil and military officials had been waiting anxiously for a long time.

Just then.

"The Emperor has arrived—!!!"

A hoarse, raspy roar rang out (it was Gu Canghai who shouted it).

Followed by.

Then they saw Grand Tutor Gu stride in, carrying an axe in one hand and dragging Zhu Qiyu, who was wearing a dragon robe and had a mournful face, with the other.

They simply pressed Zhu Qiyu onto the dragon throne!

"Sit still!"

"Straighten your back!"

"Don't act like a doormat!"

Gu Canghai stood beside the dragon throne, slammed his axe on the ground with a loud bang.

then.

He surveyed the assembled civil and military officials, his eyes sharp as knives:

"Did you see everything?"

"A new emperor has been established!"

"Reign title—Jingtai!"

"From today onwards, that one over there in the Oirat region is a retired emperor emeritus!"

"If anyone dares to bring up that retired emperor again..."

"Hmph!"

Gu Canghai raised his axe and made a feinting chop in the air:

"My axe..."

"You can disregard people!"

"Your Majesty, we, your humble servants, pay our respects! Long live the Emperor! Long live the Emperor!"

Yu Qian was the first to react and took the lead in kneeling down.

Followed by.

All the civil and military officials knelt down in unison.

Although this coronation ceremony was extremely simple, absurd, and even somewhat like a farce.

but!

that moment.

The backbone of the Ming Dynasty...

It's finally connected!

Sitting on the dragon throne, Zhu Qiyu looked at the kneeling officials below, and then at the "door god" beside him carrying an axe.

She stopped crying.

Because he knew.

Once inside the vehicle, the doors had been welded shut.

Since there's no way to escape...

Then we'll just have to bite the bullet and go for it...

Drive this car all the way to the end!