Obsessive Young Master Wei: My Beloved Loses Control Every Night

Outside the window, the autumn rain continued to pour down.

Bian Zhizhi doesn't remember how she got back to her room.

Consciousness seemed to float outside the body, moving through the dimly lit corridor, going up the stairs, opening doors, entering rooms, and closing doors.

The moment the door closed behind him, the string that had been taut for so long finally snapped with a "snap".

She didn't turn on the light.

The room was dimly lit, with only the pale light of the sky outside the window seeping in through the rain-blurred glass, barely outlining the blurry contours of the furniture.

The rain intensified, pounding against the windowpane like countless hands frantically pounding, trying to burst in and engulf her along with the suffocating space.

Leaning against the cold door panel, she slowly slid down to sit.

Tears wouldn't come out; my eyes were dry and burning.

Beneath Wei Yanqiu's elegant and composed exterior lies what he truly holds in his hands.

It's not the contract, not the salary, not those high-sounding promises made for your own good.

She is adept at using what others value most as leverage.

The branches should not lean to either side.

If she leans towards Wei Zixian, the steel wire will break, and she and her family will fall into the abyss together.

To side with Wei Yanqiu would mean severing the nascent connection between oneself and Wei Zixian.

She could only stand there, swaying precariously in the increasingly violent wind, feeling the pain of the steel wire cutting into the soles of her feet, feeling the relentless tearing force from both sides, feeling the excruciating pain of being torn apart bit by bit from the inside out.

I don't know how much time passed, but the trembling in my body gradually subsided, and all my nerves went numb.

She remained curled up, her face buried in her knees, her eyes open, staring into the thick darkness before her.

The sound of rain continued, but it seemed to be separated by a thick layer of glass, becoming distant and unreal.

Images began to flash uncontrollably through my mind.

Every frame reminded her that she had succeeded.

She successfully opened his heart, successfully made him attached to her, and successfully made him unable to leave her.

He also successfully placed himself in this irredeemable situation.

She should accept her fate.

It should be as Wei Yanqiu requested.

but……

Deep within my heart, there is a faint, almost inaudible voice struggling and screaming.

What about Wei Zixian?

He has just begun to try to trust the world and to trust a person.

If she were to withdraw now, coldly push him away, and show him through her actions...

See, I'm no different from anyone else. I'm just doing my job for money. All the kindness I show you is just part of my job.

What will he do?

Will it be like Dr. Wang said, suffering "severe secondary trauma" and retreating into that more closed shell?

Will I still hate her?

He hated her deception, hated her betrayal, hated that she gave him a glimmer of light only to extinguish it with her own hands.

This thought pierced Bian Zhizhi's heart, causing her excruciating pain that almost made her faint.

She can't.

She couldn't treat Wei Zixian like that.

But what could she do?

The safety of my parents and Wei Yanqiu's warning still echoed in my ears.

She had no means of resistance, no room for choice.

Either sever all ties, protect your parents, and also keep your well-paid job.

Alternatively, she could let the wild grass grow rampant in her heart, risking her whole family being dragged into hell, to respond to Wei Zixian's dangerous dependence, and then one day in the future, be cleaned up by Wei Yanqiu like garbage, along with her parents, leading to their eternal damnation.

There is no third way.

This is a multiple-choice question, and the answer is already predetermined, cruelly so.

The rain outside the window had subsided at some point.

The torrential rain turned into a light drizzle.

Bian Zhizhi finally raised her head.

There were no tear stains on her face, her eyes were dry and swollen, but her gaze was empty, like two dry wells that could not reflect any light.

She leaned against the wall and slowly stood up.

Her legs were numb and tingling from sitting for so long. She staggered and had to hold onto the wardrobe next to her to regain her balance.

She went to the bathroom, didn't turn on the light, and turned on the tap using the daylight streaming in from the window.

Water gushed out.

She scooped up a handful and splashed it on her face.

She looked up at the pale, ghostly figure in the mirror.

"Remember who you are," she said to herself in the mirror.

She repeated it over and over again, as if she were performing a ritual of self-destruction.

From now on, her heart will only be a wasteland.

Only in this way can she survive.

Only then could her parents survive.

Bian Zhizhi turned off the tap and dried her face with a towel.

She turned and walked out of the bathroom without looking in the mirror again.

The rain has completely stopped.

The sky remained leaden gray, heavily pressing down on the outlines of the distant mountains.

The courtyard was filled with water, reflecting the grayish-white sky in patches that were both dazzlingly bright and eerily empty.

Water droplets clung to the needles, occasionally dripping down and creating tiny ripples in the puddles.

Bian Zhizhi stared at the ripples for a long time.

*

Bian Zhizhi sat in a high-backed chair at the end of the long table, with the healing plan for next week spread out in front of her.

The pen tip lingered on the paper for too long, causing a small blot of ink to spread.

She's been staring blankly like that for five minutes now.

From the day she left the study, it was as if some kind of support for her soul had been removed.

I wake up as usual every day, wash up as usual, and come to the activity room as usual.

Her body was performing its predetermined program, but something was already dead.

She died in that autumn rain, died in Wei Yanqiu's gentle threat, died in the throbbing of the heart she had to bury herself.

She will still prepare materials, still talk, and still laugh.

But those words had all become calculated lines, each one rehearsed three times in my mind before I dared to utter them.

Her smile became muscle memory; she practiced in front of the mirror how much to raise the corners of her mouth and how much to curve her eyes.

She practiced until her face was stiff, until she even believed that this was her true self.

But only she knew that this body was already empty.

The activity room was quiet, with only the ticking of the clock's second hand, a rhythmic sound that was unsettling.

Wei Zixian sat on the sofa by the window, the book in his arms open, the page stuck on the one he couldn't get into.

He has been in this position for a long time without turning a single page.

His gaze was fixed on the pages of the book, but his peripheral vision was fixed on the figure a few meters away.

Her stiff back, her slightly drooping neck, her fingers holding the pen but hesitating to put it down.

he knows.

I know what my sister said to her in the study that day.

That evening, he stood at the corner of the second-floor corridor and saw Bian Zhizhi's pale face as she came out of the study. He saw her leaning against the wall, almost unable to stand, and saw the last glimmer of light in her eyes go out.

He knew how the whispers and rumors among the servants had been quietly suppressed by Butler Li.

The day before yesterday, during breakfast, he heard deliberately hushed conversations coming from the direction of the kitchen. But when he went over, everyone immediately fell silent, lowered their heads and continued with their work, no longer speaking.

He knew that Bian Zhizhi had been returning to her room later and later these past few nights.

It was 9:20 the day before yesterday, 9:40 yesterday, and what about today? How late will she stay?

She preferred to stare blankly at the healing materials in the empty activity room rather than go back to her room early.