Damn it, I'm surrounded by insane Alphas!

I have nothing to do today, so I'll just have a divination done for free.

Let's see how Xiao Lu fares.

Lu Lin is someone who can't distinguish between friend and foe; he's a classic fence-sitter.

In front of the young master, you have to compete with Shi Ran for his favor.

He insisted on imitating how Border Collies ask questions, squatting down in front of the young master with a serious expression.

"Sweetie, do you like Daddy more, or Mommy more?"

The young master was puzzled and had no intention of shaking hands; he just kept licking Lu Lin's palm.

"It's a handshake, not licking me."

After explaining it several times, the young master still didn't understand. Lu Lin, exasperated, yelled, "You're a complete simp! I don't know who you took after!"

Shi Ran, who was watching TV nearby, said quietly, "You really don't know who you took after?"

Lu Lin laughed: "Then it seems he's my biological son... Wait a minute, how come he's so stupid?"

Shi Ran remained unfazed: "It's also a manifestation of being related by blood."

Lu Lin immediately put his hands on his hips fiercely, sometimes smiling as he looked at him, and then at the young master.

"This requires training from a young age; expecting a dog to understand human speech now is asking too much."

His tone softened, "Right, young master?"

As soon as Shi Ran finished speaking, the young master wagged his tail and ran over, lying down beside Shi Ran's legs with his tongue lolling out, looking utterly silly.

Lu Lin: ?

Why do even dogs discriminate based on who they're dealing with?

The young master turned his face away guiltily, phew, he escaped another disaster by playing dumb.

But sometimes, Lu Lin has to compete with the young master for favor in front of Shi Ran.

Even though she herself eats instant noodles, she will go to the market to buy meat for the young master and make dog food, including salmon and meatballs. As soon as the pot is boiled, the aroma fills the whole house.

Lu Lin wandered around the side, his eyes constantly glancing at the pot.

"It's so healthy," he muttered, "can I eat it too?"

Shi Ran turned to look at him: "You're eating dog food too?"

Lu Lin argued illogically, "Whatever eats it is what it is. If it eats it, it's dog food; if a pig eats it, it's pig slop. If I eat it..."

Shi Ran couldn't help but laugh out loud, making Lu Lin lose face. "Feed..."

Shi Ran turned to look at him and said, "Look at the kind of comparisons you've found."

Lu Lin felt rebuffed and uneasy. "You're just being biased. Is it more important to you than me?"

Shi Ran turned around and leaned against the stove. "You're competing for attention with a dog?"

"Is that not allowed?"

"Then tell me, what advantages do you have over the young master?"

"I..." Lu Lin immediately started counting on her fingers, "I'm more capable than him. Didn't I wash the dishes? Didn't I pick up the packages? Didn't I fix the lights at home yesterday?"

Speaking of this lamp, I really have to give a shout-out to Xiao Lu.

Last night, the living room light suddenly went out of control, like it was haunted.

Shi Ran had no expectation that Lu Lin could fix it and was prepared to reluctantly hire a repairman to come to her home. But when she came home from get off work that evening, the light was fixed.

Shi Ran stood at the door and looked at the light for two seconds.

"Hey, this lamp is quite sensible."

"What a smart move," Lu Lin leaned against the switch, chin raised, "I fixed it myself, okay?"

Shi Ran turned to look at him in shock. "You called someone to fix it?"

Lu Lin immediately became anxious and walked over to show Shi Ran the wound on his hand, "How could this be? I fixed it myself, and my hand was cut."

Shi Ran glanced at the nearly healed wound on the back of his hand. "Really?"

Lu Lin looked away. "Yeah."

He did indeed fix it, but I won't go into the details of how complicated the process was.

He initially contacted Doubao, but after a thorough analysis, he was advised to find a professional chef to come to his home.

His mind raced, and he suddenly remembered that Zhou Chi had studied engineering in college. He made a phone call and brought him over.

Zhou Chi entered the room quite confidently, rolled up his sleeves, and started fiddling with things.

Five minutes later.

"Bang!"

The power went out at home.

Lu Lin jumped out of bed. "What are you doing? Aren't you an engineering student?"

Zhou Chi took off his gloves, spread his hands, and said, "Brother, I studied aerospace materials, rockets! Not hydroelectricity!"

Lu Lin looked at the dark room and thought, "Oh no... I'm going to get yelled at when I get back."

Zhou Chi was suppressing a laugh. They hadn't believed Yang Pei's claims that Lu Lin had been completely subdued.

It wasn't until Lu Lin ran away from home that Yang Pei solemnly gathered everyone together the next day to watch the video.

The first paragraph shows Shi Ran training dogs in a luxury car.

In the second scene, Lu Lin is acting cute in front of the car. (Don't ask, it's just from the dashcam footage.)

Zhou Chi came up with another idea, "I remember... Yang Pei interned at the parking lot for a few months before, maybe he will?"

Lu Lin waved his hand, "Hurry up and call someone, quick."

Ten minutes later, Yang Pei arrived, and the Crouching Dragon and the Young Phoenix gathered together.

Yang Pei rolled up his sleeves, full of confidence.

"Don't worry, I manage engines at the garage. Those things are much more complicated than this. What's a light bulb?"

Fifteen minutes later.

"Sizzle—"

Sparks started flying from the light cord.

Lu Lin was so angry he almost kicked the stool Yang Pei was standing on. "Do you even know how to fix anything?!"

Yang Pei wiped the sweat from his forehead. "Brother, I manage engines at the garage, it's not the same thing..."

In the end, Lu Lin had no other choice but to call a chef to come to his home.

"No..." The master's expression was indescribable, "You three grown men can't even fix a light bulb?"

The three looked at each other, and finally Yang Pei, quick-witted, spoke up, "No... we're making Douyin videos, and we're looking for a few masters to compete and see who can fix things the fastest."

Upon hearing this, the foreman perked up and immediately started rolling up his sleeves, clicking his tongue and asking, "What was the fastest they ever did?"

Lu Lin immediately made a hand gesture, "Ten minutes!"

The repairman laughed heartily, and three minutes later, the light was fixed.

Lu Lin and the other two stood in a row and clapped their hands. Lu Lin remembered something and said, "Master, could you change the light bulb? I'd like one that can adjust the temperature and turn purple."

Upon hearing the word "purple," the master's eyes narrowed slightly, and he glanced at the three of them with an ambiguous look.

Young people these days are really going all out...

Upon seeing that look, Lu Lin immediately changed his tune, "Never mind if there isn't one. By the way, Master, there are some other health problems at home. Could you take a look at them too?"

Lu Lin led the craftsman to fix things at home. He was very attentive, offering water and praising the work. In the end, the air conditioner was fixed, the lamp cord that the young master had chewed was fixed, and the rusty clothesline was fixed.

Lu Lin was afraid that Shi Ran would ask about the underlying principles of each question.

He was quick-witted and could apply what he learned to other situations. His master was so pleased with him that he wanted to take him on as his last disciple. When his master left, Lu Lin gave him a generous tip.

"Please take the bonus."

The driver left satisfied, carrying his small bag. Before leaving, he asked, "By the way, what's your Douyin account called? I'd like to follow you."

Lu Lin's smile froze. "Oh, we posted it on a foreign platform."

"It's okay, I have a ladder too."

Lu Lin was startled and managed to get his master away after a lot of persuasion.

Turning around, I saw that Zhuge Liang and Feng Chu were already asleep on the sofa.

Oh dear, let's get back to the matter of Xiao Lu and the young master vying for the young master's favor.

Unable to win against the young master, he resorted to force, pinning him to his chest and kissing him indiscriminately. It didn't hurt, had zero lethality, just tickled.

Shi Ran is naturally ticklish, and this weakness gets exploited in every dungeon.

He couldn't help but laugh and retorted to Lu Lin, "Your trick won't work on me, huh? I've had a rabies vaccine."

Lu Lin was even happier when he heard this, and immediately pushed the person onto the bed. Half an hour later, Shi Ran, who was startled awake from the messy bed, rushed into the kitchen.

"Ahhhhhh! Lu Lin! I'm going to kill you!"

Shi Ran stood in the kitchen doorway, holding a pot that was completely burnt through, and said, "You owe me a replacement pot!"

Lu Lin blinked. "See, if I hadn't been cooking for this kid, the pot wouldn't have broken. I win another point."

Shi Ran took a deep breath and said, "You'll be sleeping on the floor tonight."

Someone suddenly flew off the bed. The young master didn't even see how he got there. He raised one ear, and the words he heard every day rang in his ears:

"No, baby, I was wrong."

"What's wrong? You're not happy about it?"

"I concede, I concede. Both kindness and gentle care are a blessing from heaven, except for the matter of sleeping in separate beds..."

"Let's discuss it again."

The young master put down his ear, pouted, and lay back down on the ground, bored.

So boring, yet so blissful.

(Speaking of which, once Xiao Lu writes another chapter or two with some explicit content, we'll solemnly introduce him—let's shout out his name!)