I was just fishing, how did I become a Great Old One?

Deep within Kunlun, lies the inverted city of Kunlun Xu.

Not only is this city upside down, but its architectural style is also extremely bizarre. All the houses look like tumors growing out of the stone, presenting an irregular spiral shape. The streets are not straight, but meander like intestines, occasionally wriggling.

The most outrageous thing is that the light source here is not the sun or lamplight, but the dense, mold-like glowing moss on the walls, emitting a faint green light that makes the whole city look like a ghost town.

"Tsk tsk tsk, the landscaping in this neighborhood is so creepy."

Jiang Li walked on the "ceiling" (which was the ground to him), looking at the surrounding environment with a look of disgust.

"Old man, have you embezzled all the property management fees? You can't even afford to install a street light? You're relying on these moldy walls for lighting?"

Xuanming Daoist was leading the way when he heard these words, and the corner of his mouth twitched involuntarily.

Moldy wall paint?

That's Starlight Moss! It's a spiritual plant that grows by absorbing the power of stars for ten thousand years! Every piece scraped off can be used to refine a batch of top-grade pills!

"Hmph, what do mortals know about the aura of immortals?"

Xuanming Daoist sneered inwardly, but on the surface he still had to put on a submissive appearance.

"The boss is right. Our place is remote and our funds are limited. Please bear with us."

As he spoke, he secretly made a handprint.

Just as the group was passing through a narrow alleyway.

"Snap!"

A soft sound.

Suddenly, the walls on both sides of the alley cracked open, and countless rusty bronze swords shot out from them, densely packed, like a rain of swords piercing towards Jiang Li and the others.

The Thousand Swords Immortal Slaying Formation!

This is the first killing formation that Xuanming Daoist has set up in the city. Even an A-level expert would be turned into a hedgehog by this dense rain of swords!

"Watch out! There's an ambush!"

Liu Wei shouted and instinctively tried to find cover.

Lei Meng then picked up the large black pot, intending to take the hit head-on.

However, Jiang Li's reaction surprised everyone.

He didn't dodge or defend himself, but instead... frowned, looking impatient.

"Again? This house is of such poor quality!"

He looked at the flying "scrap metal" and assumed it was either peeling paint or the collapse of an illegal building.

"This constitutes falling debris from a height! Those responsible will be held accountable!"

Jiang Li casually picked up the steel pipe next to him that he used as a cane (the one he used to fight Mi Go) and started wildly swinging it at the flying swords.

"Clang! Clang! Crash!"

That seemingly ordinary steel pipe, in Jiang Li's hands, seemed to have become a pillar of strength.

Each swing of the swords created a gust of wind, knocking away, breaking, or even turning the swords imbued with spiritual power into iron discs!

"What a shoddy renovation! There's even scrap metal hidden in the walls?"

Jiang Li continued hitting and cursing, "Old man! This is a dangerous building! It needs to be demolished!"

Xuanming Daoist: "..."

He watched as the flying sword he had painstakingly crafted over hundreds of years was swatted away by that man like flies, and his heart bled.

This is a replica of the "Zhu Xian Sword"! Even if it's a low-end version, it's not something a steel pipe can break, right?

Just how strong was that man?!

"Ahem... It was an accident, purely an accident."

Xuanming Daoist wiped his sweat and forced an explanation, "This house has been in disrepair for many years, perhaps... the screws are loose."

"Fix it if it's loose! Stop with all this fancy stuff."

Jiang Li threw away the broken sword, bent like a pretzel, and said, "If this happens again, I'll report you for illegal construction!"

……

After the brief "rain of swords" incident, the group continued their journey deeper into the territory.

Soon, they arrived at the city's central square.

A huge statue stands here.

The statue is not human-shaped, but a monster with only one huge foot and countless tentacles attached to it.

An abstract version of "The Bloated Woman," one of the incarnations of "Nyarlathotep, the Chaos of the Crouching."

Hundreds and thousands of figures knelt beneath the statue.

They wore ancient Taoist robes and remained kneeling in worship, motionless.

"Who are these people...?"

Wang Ergou took a closer look and gasped in fright.

These people are neither living nor dead.

Their skin had a translucent, jade-like quality, with a faint outline of flowing black liquid visible within. They wore eerie yet satisfied smiles, as if immersed in some kind of eternal bliss.

"Jade figurines?"

Wang Defa (the Immortal Captain) recognized the object: "This is from an ancient cultivator who sought immortality and refined himself into 'jade' in an attempt to achieve immortality."

"That's right."

A glint of fanaticism flashed in Xuanming Daoist's eyes. "They are all my fellow disciples. They have attained immortality, broken free from the shackles of the physical body, and become part of the gods!"

"Become an immortal?"

Jiang Li walked over and tapped a Taoist priest on the forehead.

"Knock! Knock!"

The sound was crisp, like striking a stone.

"This isn't becoming an immortal, it's just turning yourself into a preserved meat specimen!"

Jiang Li looked disgusted. "Besides, there's way too much preservative. It's already developed a patina."

Just then.

The "jade figurine" that Jiang Li had knocked on suddenly opened its eyes!

Those eyes had no whites, only a pitch-black void.

"Hungry……"

A hoarse voice squeezed out of its throat.

Immediately afterwards, all the jade figurines in the square opened their eyes and turned to look at Jiang Li and the others.

"Meat...fresh meat..."

They stood up, their movements stiff and eerie, like zombies unleashed, and surrounded the crowd.

"It's come back to life!"

Liu Wei shouted and raised the plasma gun, ready to fire.

"Don't panic!"

Jiang Li stopped him, "These people look pale and thin, they've probably been starving for a long time."

He pulled out a handful of sunflower seeds from his bag that he hadn't finished eating on the way...

"Come on, don't be shy, have some sunflower seeds!"

Jiang Li shoved the melon seeds into the hand of the jade figurine who was leading the group.

Jade figurine: "..."

It looked at the melon seeds in its hand and fell into deep thought.

Who am I? Where am I? I want to eat meat, but you'll give me sunflower seeds?

"Not eating? You think it's tasteless?"

Jiang Li pulled out another handful of spicy strips.

"This is awesome! It's from Weilong!"

The jade figurine was enraged.

"roar--!!!"

It opened its mouth wide, revealing a mouthful of sharp black teeth, and lunged at Jiang Li's hand.

"So, you're going to refuse a polite toast only to suffer the consequences?"

Jiang Li's face darkened. "You're asking for it!"

He slapped her across the face.

"Snapped!"

The jade figurine's head was whipped so hard it spun 360 degrees, and its neck cracked with a sharp sound.

But it didn't fall down; instead, it turned its head back and continued biting.

"Huh? Your neck is pretty stiff. Is your cervical spondylosis cured?"

Jiang Li was delighted.

"Big Yellow! These cured meats are yours! They look quite chewy, perfect as teething toys!"

"Woof!"

Big Yellow rushed forward and bit into the thigh of a jade figurine. With a snap, the hard, jade-like thigh bone was broken.

"Lei Meng! Don't just sit around doing nothing, practice your knife skills!"

"Okay!"

Lei Meng brandished his cleaver and charged into the pile of jade figurines.

"This 'cured meat' is too tough, it needs to be sliced!"

A chaotic "meat-cutting" operation unfolded in the square.

Xuanming Daoist stood aside, watching his fellow disciples who had "attained immortality" being sliced ​​into pieces like cured meat and gnawed by dogs, and he trembled with rage.

"This is outrageous! This is outrageous!"

"Since you're courting death, don't blame me for activating the divine treasure ahead of schedule!"

Taking advantage of the chaos, Xuanming Daoist retreated behind the statue and pressed a mechanism.

"Boom!"

Behind the square, a huge stone gate slowly rose.

An extremely rich and exotic fragrance wafted out from behind the door.

The aroma was sweet and enticing, carrying an irresistible vitality.

Upon smelling the fragrance, all the jade figurines immediately ceased their attack, turned around, and knelt down in worship toward the stone gate, their faces showing expressions of fascination.

Even Big Yellow stopped eating and twitched its nose twice.

"Woof?" (Smells good! It smells fruity!)

"Hmm? What's that smell?"

Jiang Li could smell it too.

"This tastes... kind of like a peach? And kind of like a ginseng fruit?"

He pushed aside the jade figurine blocking his way and strode toward the stone gate.

"Make way! Make way! There's something good inside!"

After passing through the stone gate, a bright and open space suddenly appeared before us.

This is a huge underground garden.

There were no flowers in the garden, only a gigantic tree.

The tree was entirely blood red, its bark resembling dried muscle, and its leaves like black feathers.

The branches were laden with heavy fruit.

The fruits had peculiar shapes; some resembled babies, some hearts, and some distorted human faces. Their skins were pink and glossy, radiating an alluring sheen, as if they could be broken with a touch.

【Longevity Peach】(Abyss Mutant Version).

This is a demonic fruit that Xuanming Daoist nurtured with the blood, flesh, and souls of countless living beings!

It is said that eating one of them can grant immortality, but the price is... turning into a jade figurine in the square and becoming nourishment for the trees.

"Holy crap! Ginseng fruit?!"

Jiang Li's eyes widened instantly when he saw the fruit.

"There really is such a thing in the Kunlun Mountains? I thought it was just something made up in Journey to the West!"

He looked at the fruits that looked like babies and marveled at them.

"She has a rather unique appearance, and she can even smile?"

Suddenly, the "face" on one of the fruits opened its eyes, gave Jiang Li a strange smile, and made a "hehehe" laugh.

If an ordinary person saw this scene, they would have been terrified.

But who is Jiang Li?

He's the kind of man who treats evil gods like seafood!

"What are you laughing at? Is this fruit ripe?"

Jiang Li reached out and picked one.

The fruit was warm to the touch, and you could even feel a pulse beating inside.

"This feels... really good, it must be very moist!"

"ah--!!!"

The fruit suddenly opened its mouth and bit Jiang Li's finger.

"Snapped!"

Jiang Li reacted quickly, flicking the fruit's forehead with his other hand.

"You dare bite? You deserve a beating!"

The fruit was knocked unconscious, its tongue lolled out, and it stopped moving.

"That's when they'll behave."

Jiang Li wiped himself on his clothes, and then...

"Crunch!"

He took a bite.

Juice is overflowing!

Red juice dripped down the corner of my mouth, and the taste...

"Mmm! Sweet! So sweet!"

Jiang Li's eyes lit up. "This is sweeter than a peach! And it even tastes meaty? Could this be the legendary 'meat fruit'?"

[Ding! Consumed Abyss Demon Fruit (Ginseng Fruit), lifespan increased by 100 years, gained temporary skill: Flesh Regeneration (S-rank). Side effect: Sanity -50 (already immune).]

"This is good stuff!"

Jiang Li finished the fruit in a few bites, even chewing the pit and swallowing it.

"Ergou! Quick, get the basket! Let's pick peaches!"

"If we take this back and make it into canned fruit or 'ginseng fruit wine,' it would absolutely sell like hotcakes!"

Xuanming Daoist stood under the tree, watching Jiang Lisheng eat the demon fruit with a look of enjoyment on his face, and was completely petrified.

"He...he ate it?"

"He didn't mutate? He didn't go insane?"

"This is a demonic fruit imbued with the resentment of countless people! Even I only dare to lick it once at a time!"

"What kind of monster is this person?!"

"Hey! Old man!"

As Jiang Li picked fruit, he called out, "Don't just stand there! Did you plant this tree? It's a good one! There's a lot of fruit here!"

"As a thank you, I'll save two for you, and I'll take the rest!"

"You...you dare!"

Xuanming Daoist finally realized what was happening and was so angry that he was practically fuming.

This is the culmination of his thousands of years of hard work! It is his hope of becoming a god!

"Put the fruit down! That's mine!"

Xuanming Daoist roared, and his body suddenly began to swell and mutate.

His Taoist robe ripped apart, revealing his withered body beneath. Then, his skin cracked open, and countless black tentacles emerged from his body, transforming him into a half-human, half-tree monster.

He merged with this [Corpse Demon Tree]!

"I want to turn you into nourishment for this tree!"

Xuanming Daoist swung his enormous tree branch arm and smashed it down towards Jiang Li.

"Oh? Are you getting desperate?"

Jiang Li, carrying a basket of fruit, nimbly jumped backward.

"Even if the deal falls through, we can still be on good terms. Why did you resort to violence?"

He handed the basket to Wang Ergou.

"Take it, don't spill it."

Then, he turned around, looked at the Taoist priest who had turned into a monster, and sighed.

"I was originally planning to have a proper discussion with you about the acquisition, but since you insist on being a holdout..."

Jiang Li pulled out the butcher knife from behind her back.

"Then don't blame me for forcibly demolishing it!"

"Lei Meng! Set up your big pot!"

"This old man has grown into the tree, perfect! Let's make a 'tree root stewed old duck'... no, it's a 'medicinal stewed old Taoist'!"

"Rhubarb! Bit into its root!"

"Woof!"

Big Yellow pounced and bit into a thick tree root.

Jiang Li, carrying a knife, charged forward like a lumberjack.

"80! 80! 80!"

With each strike, wood chips (and flesh) flew everywhere.

Xuanming Daoist let out a piercing scream.

This isn't about becoming a god; it's about him being sent to his doom!

Half an hour later.

Jiang Li uprooted the giant demon tree and pruned it into several pieces of fine timber (ingredients).

Xuanming Daoist was also pried out of the tree trunk and turned into a small, talking wooden lump (soul core).

"Spare me... I'm willing to submit..."

The wooden lump begged for mercy.

"Surrender? Too late."

Jiang Li threw the log to Da Huang.

"Use it as a teething toy; it's hard and can withstand biting."

"Woof!" (Thank you, boss!)

Thus, Kunlunxu's "divine treasures" were completely looted.

Jiang Li returned home laden with several hundred kilograms of "ginseng fruit," several tons of "divine wood," and a pile of "jade and cured meat."

……

three days later.

Deep Blue Seafood Restaurant has launched another major new product – the "Longevity Canned Food".

Price per bottle: 888888 yuan.

Although it's ridiculously expensive, it's said that eating it can reverse aging and awaken wood-type superpowers.

In an instant, the world's richest people went crazy, and their private jets blocked the airport in Jianghai City.

Jiang Li, meanwhile, sat in his office, staring at the countless zeros in his account, and began to think about where to "purchase" his next item.

"It went into the sea, it went into the mountains, and it went into the sky (the moon)."

"Where to next?"

He looked out the window towards the desolate desert.

"I've heard there's a lost ancient city deep in the Sahara Desert? What's it called... [The Nameless City]?"

"There seem to be a lot of large lizards there?"

"Lizard meat... sounds pretty good, it's like chicken when grilled."

Jiang Li licked his lips.

"It's decided! Next stop—the Desert Barbecue Festival!"