I was just fishing, how did I become a Great Old One?

Deep Blue Seafood Restaurant, Jianghai City.

"Little white rabbit, white and white, with two ears standing up..."

Accompanied by an extremely bizarre, off-key children's song that seemed to be from outer space, the "High Priest of the Yellow King" (now known as the Mad Hatter), dressed in a bright yellow clown costume and with exaggerated face paint, was performing a "robot dance" on the stage in the center of the hall, moving with stiff and comical steps.

Behind him, several yellow tentacle phantoms appeared and disappeared in rhythm, adding an indescribable magical touch to the performance.

The diners below the stage watched with great interest, bursting into enthusiastic applause from time to time.

"Great! Well done!"

"This dance is full of postmodern deconstruction and madness! It's so artistic!"

"Waiter! Give that mad hat a pig's trotter!"

Meanwhile, in the chairman's office on the second floor, Jiang Li was looking at the account book in his hand with a worried expression.

"Boss, what's wrong? You're not happy even though you've made money?"

Wang Ergou poured him a cup of "Dragon Ball Milk Tea" and asked in confusion.

"We made money, but we don't have enough stock."

Jiang Li sighed, "Look, business has been booming these past few days. We've almost finished all the 'sea cucumbers' (ancient Chinese sea cucumbers) we brought back from Antarctica, and there's only half a 'goose' (giant penguin) left. As for the 'flying shrimp' (Mi-Go), it's been out of stock for ages."

"Although we have the Black Pearl, we have to travel a long way to purchase goods every time, which is not only costly but also too tiring."

Jiang Li is an ambitious boss who understands the principle of "sitting idle and eating away one's fortune".

"We need to pursue sustainable development! We need to have our own production bases!"

He stood up, walked to the huge map of Jianghai City (actually a map of psionic energy distribution given to him by Su Qingge), and drew a circle on it with his finger.

"I've thought it through. Fishing alone won't work. We need to get into aquaculture! We need to get into agriculture! We need to open a farm!"

"farm?"

Wang Ergou was stunned. "Boss, this is a seafood restaurant, are you going to farm?"

"Isn't that a narrow perspective?"

Jiang Li rolled her eyes at him. "Who says a seafood restaurant can't have a farm? We can do vertical farming! Raise fish in the water, grow vegetables on the shore, and even have fruit hanging from the trees!"

"Besides, we have so many employees (Deep Divers) who don't have much to do besides serving dishes. It's perfect to have them farm and make full use of our labor force!"

Wang Ergou wiped his sweat.

Let the deep-sea divers farm? The image was too beautiful for him to bear.

"But boss, where are we going to find land? Land is so expensive these days."

"Why buy land? We'll find unclaimed wasteland and reclaim it ourselves!"

Jiang Li looked at Wang Defa, who was sitting in the corner drinking alone.

"Consultant Wang, you're very knowledgeable. Are there any islands in this area that are... well-maintained, unmanaged, and have exceptionally lush vegetation?"

Wang Defa put down his wine glass, a glimmer of reminiscence flashing in his cloudy eyes.

"The environment is beautiful...the plants are lush..."

He pondered for a moment, then his expression suddenly turned somewhat strange.

"There is such a place."

"In the southeast of the East China Sea, there is an island that is shrouded in green mist all year round, called Blackwood Isle. It is said to be... the back garden of the goddess of life."

"The plants there grow extremely fast; throw a seed down and it will grow into a large tree the next day. And the animals on the island are all... extremely plump."

"but……"

Wang Defa's voice lowered, "That place is very eerie. People who have been there either went mad or... turned into trees."

"It turned into a tree?"

Jiang Li's eyes lit up. "That means the place has good feng shui! It's good for people! The plants are growing fast, which means the soil is fertile!"

He completely ignored the terrifying side effect of "turning into a tree," and only heard about "growing fast" and "fertile soil."

"That's it! Let's go to Black Island!"

Jiang Li slammed his hand on the table. "Since it's the goddess's back garden, I'll reluctantly help her trim the flowers and plants, and borrow a patch of land to plant some scallions, ginger, and garlic!"

……

The Black Pearl set sail again the following morning.

In addition to the core team, the group also included dozens of deep-sea divers known as "farmers" who carried hoes, shovels, and water bottles.

These deep-sea monsters, dressed in overalls and wearing straw hats, looked both comical and eerie.

After several hours of sailing, a thick, dark green fog appeared on the sea ahead.

Through the mist, a lush, green island can be vaguely seen.

The trees on the island were ridiculously tall, each one easily over a hundred meters high, their canopies blocking out the sun. Moreover, the trees weren't emerald green, but a deep, almost blackish dark green, their bark seemingly dripping with oil.

"We've arrived at the Black Island of the Forest."

Wang Defa stood at the bow of the boat, tightly gripping the amulet in his hand (a dragon scale given to him by Jiang Li). "Boss, be careful. This place... the vitality is too strong, so strong it's disgusting."

"What's disgusting? This is teeming with life!"

Jiang Li took a deep breath.

The air was filled with a strong smell, like a mixture of rotting flowers and fresh soil, and a faint... milky scent?

"Hmm? This tastes good, it's kind of like... the taste of a high-end ranch."

Jiang Li's eyes lit up. "Could it be that they raise cattle on this island?"

The Black Pearl docked.

Jiang Li led everyone off the boat, stepping onto the soft, damp, and seemingly breathing black earth.

"This soil! It's amazing!"

Jiang Li grabbed a handful of soil, squeezed it, and black oil oozed out.

"This is the legendary black soil! You could even stick a chopstick in it and it would sprout!"

He excitedly directed the divers: "Quick! Level this mudflat for me! Let's make a test field!"

Just then.

"Shhh..."

A strange friction sound came from deep within the woods.

Then, those towering black trees, hundreds of meters tall, actually began to... move!

Their roots were pulled from the soil and transformed into countless thick tentacles; huge, sap-dripping mouths split open on the trunks; and the branches became waving whips.

[Dark Young of Shub-Niggurath]

These are not trees at all, but the offspring of the Supreme Mother Goddess Shub-Niggurath!

They are the guardians of the forest, and also the greedy predators.

A dozen or so "giant trees" strode heavily toward Jiang Li and his group, emitting strange howls that sounded like sheep bleating.

"Meow—!!!"

The sound carried a strong sense of mental pollution, making one feel as if they were witnessing countless twisted flesh and blood mating, reproducing, and devouring each other.

"My goodness! The tree has come to life!"

Liu Wei was so frightened that he fell to the ground with a thud, dropping the hoe he was holding.

"These are... Rank A mythical creatures! And there's a whole group of them!"

Wang Ergou's legs were trembling. "Boss! Let's get out of here! We can't farm this land!"

however.

Jiang Li looked at the approaching "big trees" and instead of running away, he took two steps forward to examine them carefully.

"This tree... how come it has legs? And its bleating... why does it sound like a sheep?"

Through his filter, these terrifying black goat calves transformed into creatures with legs, yet somewhat resembling goats...

"Is this... the legendary 'sheep tree'? Or some new breed of 'plant sheep'?"

Jiang Li's imagination ran wild.

"I've heard of an ancient breed of sheep with cotton growing on its back. Could this thing be... a wooden sheep? Made entirely of wood?"

"But this is too unkempt, with branches trembling wildly, it looks like it has no nutritional value."

Jiang Li pulled out the pig-slaughtering knife from his waist and took out a huge pair of gardening shears (which he bought specifically for starting a farm).

"Perfect timing, I'm here to do some landscaping. This tree is growing crooked, it needs some pruning!"

"Rhubarb! Go to the left! Dig up the roots of those trees! They're weeds!"

"I'll prune these larger ones!"

Jiang Li shouted and charged forward with the scissors in hand.

"Meow—!!!" (Blasphemer! Die!)

The lead black goat calf roared, and its huge tentacles (tree branches) lashed out at Jiang Li with a whooshing sound.

"Snap!"

Jiang Li closed the gardening shears in her hand.

That tentacle, thicker than a bucket, was cut off!

A large amount of black liquid gushed out from the broken end, exuding a strong aura of life.

"Wow! There's so much sap in this tree! It looks very juicy!"

Jiang Li dodged the sap and commented, "However, these branches are growing too haphazardly, which is affecting photosynthesis."

He moved with lightning speed, leaping and bounding across the enormous monster.

"Trim here! Trim there! Remove all the dead branches and leaves!"

"Snap! Snap! Snap!"

Accompanied by a burst of sharp scissor-like sounds and the monster's screams.

Less than five minutes.

The once ferocious black goat calf was forcibly pruned by Jiang Li into a... bare cylinder.

All the tentacles and branches had been cut off, leaving only a bare trunk standing there, looking utterly pathetic.

"Phew...that feels much better."

Jiang Li wiped his sweat and looked at his masterpiece with satisfaction.

"This is what you call art! Or... the style of a utility pole?"

The remaining black goat calves: "..."

They looked at their companions in such a terrible state, and their expressions were filled with fear.

What kind of devilish gardener is this?!

They are the offspring of God! Not roadside bushes!

"Meow..." (Run!)

The remaining "trees" turned and tried to run away.

"Don't run away! I'm not finished cutting your hair yet! Stop right there! Free haircuts!"

Jiang Li chased after him.

Big Yellow excitedly pounced on them and began to frantically gnaw on the tree roots (tentacles).

"Woof!" (This wood is chewy! It can even help you gnaw on your teeth!)

A farce called "forest trimming," which was in reality a "one-sided massacre," unfolded on this terrifying black island.

……

Just as Jiang Li was trimming the "trees" on the outside into utility poles.

Deep within the island, on a colossal altar woven from countless strands of flesh and plants.

A colossal, indescribable entity, resembling a black cloud, slowly descended.

It has no fixed shape, only countless mouths dripping with saliva and an innumerable number of hooves.

【Shub Nicholas, the Black Goat of the Forest who gave birth to countless offspring】(S+ level Outer God Incarnation).

She is the source of life, and also a mad mother.

She sensed the suffering of her offspring and, filled with boundless rage, descended upon this plane.

"Who...is hurting my child...?"

The sound was like countless mothers crying at the same time, or like countless wild beasts roaring, and it instantly spread throughout the entire island.

The terrifying divine power froze the air.

The deep-diving farmers were so frightened that they burrowed into the ground. Wang Ergou and Liu Wei were even pressed down and lay on the ground, unable to lift their heads.

"They're here! The big guy is here!"

Wang Defa closed his eyes in despair.

This is an Outer God! A being even higher than Cthulhu!

This time I'm really doomed!

however.

Jiang Li stopped scissors in his hand and looked up at the huge black cloud that was surging out from the depths of the forest.

In his view (ultimate filter activated), it was not some indescribable, terrifying Outer God at all.

Instead, it's a...

Huge, black, with a bulging belly...

"This is... a large black goat?!"

Jiang Li's eyes instantly turned into searchlights.

"I knew there were sheep bleating on this island! Turns out they're raising such a huge breeding sheep!"

He looked at the countless tentacles hanging down below the black cloud (actually organs for nurturing offspring), and the milky white liquid dripping from them (it was divine milk containing extremely strong life force, but it was highly poisonous to mortals).

"Holy crap! This sheep is still producing milk?!"

Jiang Li was so excited he almost jumped up.

"This is goat's milk! It's great stuff! More nutritious than cow's milk! And this goat is so big, how many tons of milk does it produce in a day?"

"We're rich! This time, we've not only got farming under control, but we've even got livestock farming sorted out!"

Jiang Li threw down the scissors and pulled out an extra-large aluminum alloy milking bucket (originally intended for holding water) from her bag.

"Big Yellow! Come with me! We're going to milk the cows!"

"Woof?" (Milk? That stuff looks poisonous...)

"Enough nonsense! I can purify it even if it's poisonous! This is pure, natural, additive-free, extra-rich goat milk! You won't find this again!"

Jiang Li took the lead and charged towards the terrifying avatar of the Outer God.

"Hey! You big black sheep! Don't move! I'm here to lighten your load!"

Shub Nicholas's alter ego: "..."

Her countless mouths simultaneously uttered sounds of doubt.

"Sheep? Are you calling me?"

"Mortal...would you like to be my child?"

She stretched out countless tentacles, trying to envelop this ignorant human and conceive him anew.

"Stop messing around! I'm here to collect the milk!"

Jiang Li nimbly dodged the tentacles' entanglement and, like a flea, jumped directly onto Shub Nicholas's "abdomen" (if that mass of chaos had an abdomen).

He found a protrusion that looked like... well, a milk-producing organ.

"Excuse me, ma'am! You look really uncomfortable, let me help you squeeze it out!"

Jiang Li grasped the organ with both hands, activating the power of the rule within his body that allowed him to masturbate to anything (possibly learned from Da Huang).

"Get out of here!"

"Sizzle—!!!"

A thick, milky-white beam of light was forced out of the Outer God's body by Jiang Li and shot into the large iron barrel.

"Ah~~~~"

Shub Nicholas let out an extremely strange cry that seemed to be in pain, yet also... a cry of relief.

The abundant life energy that had accumulated within her for millions of years was actually released!

This feeling... is damn... relaxing?

"Great milk! So thick! It even clings to the sides of the glass!"

Jiang Li couldn't stop smiling as he looked at the liquid in the bucket that emitted a holy white light and smelled wonderful (after passing through Jiang Li's hands, the toxins were purified into pure energy).

"Another bucket, please!"

He worked quickly and changed to another bucket.

Shub Nicholas: "..."

She was stunned.

As an Outer God, she had never been treated this way before.

When ordinary people see her, they either go mad, get eaten by her, or kneel down and beg for mercy.

No one has ever dared to come up and milk her!

and……

Why is this human's technique so professional? So...comfortable?

Her originally ferocious killing intent gradually dissipated under the rhythmic pressure.

Instead, there is a strange kind of docility, akin to an overflowing maternal instinct.

"Meow..." (Gently...)

She couldn't help but let out a soft cry.

Wang Ergou and Liu Wei below were so shocked their jaws dropped.

"What...what did I see?"

"The boss is...milking the Forest Black Goat?!"

"And that Outer God... seems to be enjoying it quite a bit?!"

"This world... it would be better if it were destroyed after all."

Half an hour later.

Jiang Li filled dozens of large buckets and finally stopped.

"Phew...that's about enough, any more and there won't be any left."

He patted Shub Nicholas's enormous body (which now did indeed look a bit like a giant black sheep).

"Thanks so much, young lady! Your milk is really good quality! We'll be relying on you for our milk supply from now on!"

"In return, I'll come regularly to 'care for' you! Also, I've taken over this whole forest; I'll have people fertilize it and catch the bugs (even though they'll eat them all), I guarantee I'll turn this place into a model ranch!"

Shub-Niggurath's avatar slowly dissipated, transforming back into black mist.

But before she disappeared, she gave Jiang Li a deep look, and even... left a black mark on him.

That's not a curse.

That is the blessing of the Supreme Mother Goddess (which is also the certification of "you are my personal milkmaid").

With this mark, all the black goat calves will treat him as their father... no, as their closest companion.

"Boss! Are you alright?!"

Wang Ergou and the others rushed over to check if Jiang Li was missing any limbs.

"What could possibly be wrong? This sheep is quite docile."

Jiang Li carried a bucket of milk, looking quite pleased with herself.

"Come on, everyone, have a taste! This is divine milk! One sip and you'll live forever!"

He poured a glass for everyone.

Wang Ergou took a sip, his hands trembling.

"boom!"

A burst of vitality!

He felt as if he had returned to the age of eighteen, full of inexhaustible energy, and even a broken tooth had grown back!

"A miracle! This is a miracle!"

Wang Ergou knelt on the ground and kowtowed to the bucket of milk.

"If we take these back and sell them... our Deep Blue Seafood will dominate everyone's breakfast tables!"

"That's a must!"

Looking at this lush "ranch", Jiang Li's heart was filled with grand plans.

"This place will henceforth be our [Deep Blue No. 1 Ecological Farm]!"

"Growing vegetables! Raising sheep! Milking cows!"

"We want people all over the world to be able to drink our 'Extra Rich Black Goat Milk'!"

……

a few days later.

Deep Blue Seafood Restaurant has launched a new product – "Milk of Life".

GG's words: [A pure, natural gift from a mysterious island; one sip makes you ten years younger, two sips reverse aging! One cup a day, strengthening an entire nation!]

Price: 19999 yuan/cup.

Sold out instantly.

Countless wealthy people fought tooth and nail for this one cup of milk.

Meanwhile, Yan Luo (a special-grade inspector) in the capital city stared at the bottle of milk that Jiang Li had delivered by express mail to his desk and fell into deep thought.

"The energy in this milk... how come it's exactly the same as the S-rank forbidden substance, [Black Goat's Milk]? But this one is non-toxic?!"

"That Jiang Li... what exactly did he do on that island?!"

He dared not think.

He could only silently take a sip of milk, and then approve a [National Franchise License] for Jiang Li.

Note: As long as you don't destroy the world, you can sell whatever you want.