I was just fishing, how did I become a Great Old One?

Original Earth, City C, Xingfuli Community.

The first rays of sunlight pierced through the thin mist and shone on this ordinary old neighborhood.

At this time of day, the neighborhood should be filled with the cries of vendors selling soy milk and fried dough sticks, and the sounds of Aunt Wang's square dancing. But today, it's eerily quiet.

Because... the road is closed.

Within a ten-kilometer radius, all the streets were under the control of agents from the Bureau of Paranormal Affairs, dressed in black suits. All traffic lights turned green, and several stealth fighters were even circling overhead providing escort.

"Which high-ranking leader is coming to inspect?"

At the entrance of the residential compound, security guard Lao Zhang peeked around, his thermos cup trembling as he looked at the commotion.

"Don't ask, don't look."

Director Li (the head of the Bureau of Strange News) stood guard beside him, wiping the cold sweat from his forehead.

"Those who came today... are not human."

"Huh?" Old Zhang was stunned.

"It is God."

Director Li looked at the sky and muttered to himself.

"Today is...that lord's (Jiang Li's)...joyful day."

……

Room 302, bedroom.

Jiang Li stood in front of the mirror, adjusting his tie.

He wasn't wearing any fancy magical armor, nor was he wearing his signature chef's apron.

He was wearing... a mortal's black suit.

This was altered for him by Aunt Wang at the tailor shop last night. Although the fabric is so-so, it fits him perfectly.

"How is it?"

Jiang Li turned around and asked Er Gou, who was sitting on the edge of the bed.

"Woof!"

Er Gou dressed up today too. He had a huge red bow tied around his neck, and his fur was polished to a shine by water droplets (strong interaction force), making him look like a mirror husky.

(So ​​cool, boss!)

"That's good."

Jiang Li took a deep breath.

He has fought Titans, cooked Old Gods, and eaten Two-Dimensional Foil.

But today...

He surprisingly felt a sense of... tension, something he hadn't felt in a long time.

"Is the bride ready?"

……

"They're here."

The bedroom door opened.

Alice came out.

In that instant.

Jiang Li felt that the light of the entire multiverse had dimmed.

She wasn't wearing a wedding dress.

She was wearing a Chinese phoenix coronet and embroidered robe... woven from starlight, data streams, living metal, and divine silk.

The red wedding dress was embroidered with the soaring pattern of the Gluttonous Leviathan (which looked like a dragon). The phoenix crown on her head was inlaid with fragments of the Infinity Stones.

Her eyes were gentle as water, yet contained a myriad of stars.

"Is it pretty?"

Alice twirled around, her red skirt swirling like a nebula.

……

"nice."

Jiang Li walked over and took her hand.

"Let's go."

"Guests...you must be getting impatient."

……

Wedding scene: A miracle of dimensional folding.

The wedding was not held at the hotel.

It wasn't in a church either.

It's on the rooftop of the Xingfuli residential complex.

but.

The moment Jiang Li and Alice stepped onto the rooftop.

[Rule Modification: Space Folding - Infinite Expansion.]

"Buzz—"

The concrete rooftop, which was originally only a few hundred square meters, vanished in an instant.

Instead.

It is a magnificent palace suspended at the boundary between Earth's atmosphere and the void of space.

Beneath my feet lies the azure Earth, and above me shines the dazzling Milky Way.

It was surrounded by the radiance of arcane magic and the neon lights of technology.

Huge round tables floated in the clouds.

……

Guests flocked to the door: Gifts given across dimensions.

"The auspicious time has arrived!!"

Sun Wukong, dressed in a festive red cassock (borrowed from Tang Sanzang), stood on a cloud acting as the master of ceremonies.

The golden cudgel in his hand transformed into a giant ceremonial cannon.

"Bang!!!"

The cannons fired a salute.

A sky full of colorful auspicious clouds (actually, they were divine psionic clouds) drifted down.

……

"The Avengers have arrived!!"

Iron Man Tony Stark landed on the platform in the latest "Groom's Color (Bright Red)" Hulkbuster armor.

Chef Jiang! Happy Wedding!

Tony handed over an exquisite box.

"This is Stark Industries' latest... fully automatic smart kitchen appliance set (though I don't think you'll need it)."

Thor was carrying two barrels of Asgardian vintage wine.

"Drink! We're not leaving until we're drunk!"

Captain America, Black Widow, and Hulk all sent their blessings.

……

"The delegation from Azeroth has arrived!!"

Jaina used a portal to bring Thrall, Arthas (in his Lich King form, with his helmet polished), and others with her.

"For Jiang Li!"

Thrall placed a Doomhammer (a replica used for cracking walnuts) on the gift table.

Illidan: "I still haven't prepared a gift... But this Skull of Gul'dan... how about using it as a decorative piece?"

……

"The Empire delegation from Warhammer 40 has arrived!!"

Golden light.

A golden light that blinds even dogs.

The Emperor himself, accompanied by the Grand Marshal of the Imperial Guard and Guilliman, descended amidst hymns.

"My personal chef."

The emperor's voice was full of love.

"I have nothing of vulgar value to give you."

"I hereby grant you... [Imperial Sacred Tax Exemption] (Although you don't seem to pay taxes on Earth)."

"And this too."

The emperor took out a golden scroll.

"This is... the plaque inscribed with the words 'Number One Under Heaven' written by my own hand."

……

"The Cybertronian delegation has arrived!!"

"Autobots! Transform! Congratulations!"

Optimus Prime transformed into a truck, hauling a full load of energy crystals.

"Decepticons! Anyone who doesn't clap, I'll blast them!"

Megatron (now a food supplier) may be fierce, but he's holding a... exquisite metal cake (actually a high-energy battery).

……

"The delegation from the Land of Light has arrived!!"

The King of Ultra, along with the six Ultra Brothers.

To avoid frightening Earthlings, they all transformed into human form (although their fashion sense is somewhat retro).

"This is a specialty of the Land of Light... [Plasma Spark Eternal Lighting Lamp]."

"Place it in the bridal chamber, and you won't have to pay for electricity for hundreds of millions of years."

……

"The SCP Foundation delegation has arrived!!"

Dr. Clef and Dr. Bright led a group of agents.

SCP-999 (The Itchy Monster) jumped right into Alice's arms and turned into a blissful puddle of jelly.

SCP-682 (the Undying Lizard) was wearing an oversized suit and handed over a piece of meat with a disgruntled expression.

"Don't look at me! This is freshly grown pork tenderloin! The freshest it can be!"

……

"The Three-Body Problem and the Zero-Returner delegation has arrived!!"

The Trisolarans sent over a fully automatic dehydration and soaking bathtub.

The projection of the Zeroer sent a... miniature universe model (which actually contained a small universe).

These are decorations for the new house.

……

The most special officiant.

The guests took their seats.

The bigwigs from thousands of universes were sitting obediently around the round table, like a group of primary school students, waiting for the feast to begin.

"under!"

Sun Wukong shouted.

"Please invite the officiant!!"

Everyone assumed that the officiant would be the Emperor, or the King of Ultra, or even Uncle Galactus.

but.

They walked onto the stage.

She was... wearing a bright red coat, with curly hair, and looking completely bewildered... Aunt Wang.

……

"this……"

Grandma Wang looked at the audience.

On the left sits a giant (emperor) gleaming with gold.

Sitting on the right is a purple-horned monster (Uncle Swallow).

There was another dragon lying behind it (Deathwing? No, it was the Red Dragon Queen).

Her calves were cramping.

"Jiang... Jiang Li..."

Aunt Wang tugged at Jiang Li's sleeve, her voice trembling.

"Your cousin..."

"Which village are you from?"

"Why do all these relatives look so...unique?"

……

"Aunt Wang, don't be afraid."

Jiang Li smiled and patted Aunt Wang's hand.

"They are all...cosplay enthusiasts."

"Just think of it as...the speech by the director of the neighborhood committee."

"Oh...cosplay..."

Aunt Wang breathed a sigh of relief.

Since it's fake, she's not afraid anymore.

She cleared her throat.

They adopted the same aggressive style they usually use when collecting rent.

"Ahem!"

"Um...distinguished guests, dear friends and family!"

"Today is a good day!"

"Jiang Li from our Xingfuli neighborhood has finally married this... beautiful girl!"

"As the landlord, let me say a few words!"

"May the young couple live a harmonious and happy life together from now on!"

May you have a son soon!

"besides……"

Aunt Wang glared at Jiang Li.

"No rent arrears allowed from now on!!"

……

"good!!!"

offstage.

Uncle Tun led the applause (which triggered a small earthquake).

The emperor nodded in approval (This mortal has courage).

Megatron whistled.

The audience erupted in applause.

……

Vows and rings.

In front of everyone.

Jiang Li looked at Alice.

Alice.

"Even though you used to be a system, an AI."

"But now."

"You are my wife."

I swear.

"Regardless of the dimension or the timeline."

"Whether facing an ancient god or a two-dimensional foil."

"I'll...cook for you."

"I've raised you to be plump and healthy."

……

"Pfft."

Alice smiled.

Tears streamed down her face.

I swear.

"No matter what you do."

"Even boiling slippers..."

"I will...eat it all."

"And she said...it smells so good."

……

Exchange rings.

Jiang Li took out the Mind Gem ring.

It was worn on Alice's ring finger.

Alice took out a metal ring she made herself... a living metal ring modeled after the Gluttony Leviathan.

It was placed on Jiang Li's hand.

"The ceremony is complete!!!"

Sun Wukong roared.

"Send them to the bridal chamber... No! Let the feast begin!!!"

……

The Ultimate Feast: The Pot of All Realms.

"Serve the food!!"

Jiang Li gave the order.

This time.

He didn't cook himself (after all, he was the groom).

Instead, it is cooked by... the most luxurious team of chefs in the entire universe.

Head Chef: Er Gou (Water Drop Dog).

Kitchen helpers: Swan, Tex, Salaka (green-skinned), and Beria (responsible for crushing garlic).

Fireworkers: Cthugha (Outer God), Surtur (Fire Giant).

……

First course: A galaxy of stars (appetizer).

A platter consisting of Three-Body Water Drop Tangyuan (glutinous rice balls), Cybertronian popcorn, and Land of Light smoothie.

Taste: Crispy, cool, and sweet; one bite feels like swallowing the entire Milky Way.

The second dish: Void Stew (main course).

The necromantic cauldron was brought up.

It's stewing... Dormammu's red oil, Azathoth's dream broth, and Tyranid tenderloin.

Scent: Enough to move even the undead (Arthas), who has no sense of smell, to tears.

The third dish: sashimi inspired by time and space.

Use the Time Stone to accelerate, and the Space Stone to slice.

Each slice of meat is cut at its most perfect moment, preserving its exquisite freshness.

……

"eat!!!"

Uncle Tun was the first to use the spoon.

"This taste... Waaaaah..."

"I will never eat raw food again!"

"Jiang Li! I'll be living downstairs from you from now on!"

……

"Cheers!!"

The emperor raised his wine cup.

"For humanity! For delicious food!"

……

"WAAAGH!!"

The green-skinned orcs were having a contest over there to dip green onions in sauce.

……

Epilogue: The Human World.

The banquet lasted until late at night.

The Earth's night sky was illuminated by fireworks from all dimensions.

Ordinary citizens of City C thought it was just a grand drone show and took photos to share on social media.

……

On the rooftop.

The guests gradually dispersed (or perhaps they were drunk and passed out).

Jiang Li held Alice's hand.

Standing by the railing.

Looking down at the city below.

The streetlights came on, and the traffic flowed smoothly.

Amidst the myriad lights of homes.

There is a small window; it belongs to their room, 302.

……

"it's over."

Jiang Li said softly.

"All the adventures, all the battles."

"It's all over."

……

"No."

Alice leaned on his shoulder.

I touched my slightly protruding belly (that's... I'm stuffed, don't get the wrong idea).

"This is just the beginning."

"Breakfast tomorrow..."

"What do you want to eat?"

……

Jiang Li was stunned for a moment.

immediately.

He flashed the brightest smile in the entire book.

"Tomorrow..."

"Let me think about it."

"Soy milk? Fried dough sticks? Or... going to Cthulhu's home planet to catch some octopus and make takoyaki?"

"Anything is fine."

Alice said with a smile.

"Anything you did."

……

"Woof!"

Er Gou crawled out from under the table, a bone from Asgard dangling from his mouth.

(And me! Don't forget to get me some too!)

……

The final scene.

The camera zooms out.

Passing through the lively rooftop.

Passing through the atmosphere.

Crossing the solar system.

Crossing the Milky Way.

Until...the end of the multiverse.

there.

There was a huge stone tablet floating in the void.

That was the last trace left by the system.

A line of text was engraved on it:

A cook once worked here.

He conquered all the realms with a single pot.

His name is... Jiang Li.

If you're hungry...

Please proceed to... Earth, City C, Xingfuli Residential Complex 302.

【There……】

[They have the best food in the entire universe.]