I was just fishing, how did I become a Great Old One?

Cybertron orbit, the scene of Unicron's awakening.

"Rumble rumble rumble—"

The starry sky trembled.

Unicron fully unfurled his awe-inspiring, imposing form. His horns seemed capable of piercing dimensions, and his chest was a colossal vortex burning with chaotic psionic energy—an antimatter furnace capable of devouring stars.

In comparison, Cybertron was like a rusty basketball in his eyes.

Jiang Li and his Gluttony were as insignificant as dust.

"I can smell it..."

The voice of the Cosmic Emperor is no longer a sound wave, but a gravitational wave.

"The stench of Primus..."

"besides……"

"It smells like...caramel?"

Unicron's two electronic eyes, comparable to those of satellites, were focused on the surface of Cybertron.

He saw the ants frantically busy at work.

……

"Hurry, hurry, hurry!!"

"Hurry up!!"

Jiang Li was not intimidated by the size of the Cosmic Emperor. On the contrary, he was currently in a state of extreme excitement, like "preparing food".

He stood atop the Gluttony (Leviathan form), wielding the massive McCann spatula.

"Swann! Turn my [Necromantic Living Metal Cauldron]... to maximum power!"

"I want it... to get bigger!!"

"Alright! Nanobot swarm propagation program... activated!"

"Buzz——————"

The black pot, which was originally only a few dozen meters in size, expanded wildly at this moment, as if it were being inflated like a balloon.

It devoured the surrounding scrap metal, asteroids, and even debris that fell from Unicron.

The properties of living metals have been brought to their fullest potential.

In just ten seconds.

A massive black cauldron, over 10,000 kilometers in diameter and large enough to contain a planet, lay across the sky.

It's like a dark abyss, quietly waiting for its prey.

……

"This...this is impossible..."

Optimus Prime stood on the surface of Cybertron, gazing up at the massive black cauldron that blotted out the entire sky.

His logic circuit triggered an alarm again.

"What kind of technology is that?"

"That's my psychic power combined with necromancy black technology."

Megatron accepted it quickly (after all, he had just been fired).

His current golden-red, crispy body glitters in the sunlight.

"Optimus Prime! Stop spacing out!"

"That human said! If you don't want to be eaten, you have to work!"

"Decepticons! All of you, transform!"

"Target: The bottom of the big black pot!"

"Mission: Be firewood... no, be a combustion accelerant!"

……

Step 1: Put it in the pot.

"Insects! What are you doing?!"

The Cosmic Emperor looked at the giant cauldron that had appeared out of nowhere and felt a strange sense of humiliation.

"You want to... take me in?"

"I am chaos! I am destruction!"

"Smash it!!"

Unicron waved his giant hand, powerful enough to shatter continental plates, and slammed it down on the black pot.

"Now!"

A glint of light flashed in Jiang Li's eyes.

"Ergou! Suck him!!"

"Woof!!!"

The Yin-Yang Devouring Dogs swelled to the size of a planet.

It did not bite the hand of the Cosmic Emperor.

Instead, it opened its huge mouth and created a supermassive black hole at the bottom of the pot.

[Skill: Gravitational Collapse - Luring the Defender into the Trap.]

"boom----"

A terrifying gravitational force erupted instantly.

The trajectory of the hand that the Cosmic Emperor swung out was forcibly altered by gravity.

Not only that.

His massive body also lost its balance.

"This...this gravity..."

"No!!!"

Unicron attempted to activate the anti-gravity engine.

But the spark fragment in Jiang Li's hand suddenly unleashed an interference wave targeting mechanical life.

"Get down!"

Jiang Li teleported to the top of the Cosmic Emperor's head (like a flea jumping onto an elephant's head).

then.

【Dharma Image of Heaven and Earth - A Kick to Gluttony!】

Behind Jiang Li, a divine foot powerful enough to shatter galaxies appeared.

It stomped hard on the crown of the Cosmic Emperor.

"Thump!!!"

"Get out of here!!"

……

"Clang!!"

A deafening roar that could make the entire Milky Way ring.

Unicron... fell into the pot.

His enormous body curled up (compressed by gravity), just enough to fill the large black pot.

It was like a... huge, spiked iron ball.

……

Step 2: Sealing and pressurizing.

"Put the lid on!!"

Jiang Li roared.

"Swann! Living metal...close!"

"Sizzle sizzle—"

The edge of the large black pot rapidly extended, like a closed carnivorous flower, instantly enveloping the Cosmic Emperor inside.

It turned into a... airtight black sphere.

"Let me out!!!"

"Boom! Boom! Boom!"

A violent impact sound came from inside the sphere.

Unicron is struggling.

The black sphere's surface was dented with huge bumps, as if it were about to explode at any moment.

……

"It can't be suppressed any longer!"

Swan shouted.

"Boss! The pressure inside is too great! That's the resistance of a cosmic-level powerhouse!"

"We need a... super-powerful safety valve!"

"Here it comes!"

Jiang Li looked at the Optimus Prime on the ground.

"Big Pillar!!"

"May I borrow your heart?"

"What?" Optimus Prime was stunned for a moment.

"The Matrix of Leadership!"

Jiang Li shouted.

"That's the crystallization of Pebous's divine power! Specifically designed to counter Unicron!"

"Stuff it...into the vent!"

……

Optimus Prime's decision.

Optimus Prime looked at the glowing Matrix of Leadership on his chest.

This is a sacred object that the Autobots have guarded for millions of years.

It is a symbol of wisdom.

Now... we're going to use it as... the pressure valve for a pressure cooker?

"Big brother! Should we give it to him or not?"

The bumblebee was so anxious it was jumping up and down.

"Give!"

Optimus Prime gritted his teeth.

He opened his breastplate and took out the leadership module that emitted a blue divine light.

Throw it forcefully into the sky.

"For Cybertron!!"

"Go!! The sacred... valve!!"

……

"Caught it!"

Jiang Li grabbed the leadership module.

Fly to the top of that black sphere.

A small vent was reserved there.

Jiang Li pressed the leadership module hard.

"Snap!"

Perfectly fitted.

"Buzz——————"

A miracle happened.

The light of order released by the leadership module instantly suppressed the chaotic fury of the Cosmic Emperor inside the sphere.

The black sphere, which had been violently deformed, stabilized.

It turned into a... super pressure cooker that was accumulating pressure and emitting a blue light...

……

Step 3: Cooking temperature and seasoning.

"We've stabilized!"

Jiang Li breathed a sigh of relief.

"Now……"

"Start shaking the pot!"

"Ergou! Spin it around!"

"Woof!"

Er Gou grabbed the giant black ball with both paws and began to spin it wildly in space.

(This is to ensure even heating.)

……

"I'm getting a sore throat!!"

Jiang Li took out the "Flame of Wrath" that he had obtained from the Crimson King.

And then there was Xarnaga's Karma Fire.

Burn the bottom of the black ball intensely.

"Megatron! Take your minions and add energy cubes to the fire!"

"Yes, Master Chef!"

Megatron led his Decepticon army, throwing tons of high-energy crystals into the fire.

"BOOM BOOM BOOM!!"

The fire was raging.

The entire black sphere was burning red-hot.

……

"Seasoning!"

Jiang Li took out a spatial funnel and inserted it into the gap of the leadership module.

"Such a big lump of iron, it needs to be made of heavy materials."

"Ten thousand tons of grease (for lubrication and flavoring)!"

"Five thousand tons of Tyrencher's honey (caramelization reaction)!"

"besides……"

Jiang Li took out a handful of golden powder.

"A ton of Imperial Psionic Salt (scraped from under the Emperor's throne)!"

"A perpetual motion machine of salty and sweet!!"

……

"Glug glug—"

As the seasonings were added.

The sound of boiling liquid could be heard coming from inside the black sphere.

And... the extremely strange roar of Unicron:

"What is this... sticky stuff?!"

"It's so hot! So slippery!!"

"Why is my armor... suddenly sweet?!"

"No!! I am destruction!! I don't want to become sweet!!"

……

Step 4: Pressure Critical Point.

Time passed second by second.

The pressure gauge inside the black sphere (installed by Swan) is escalating rapidly.

[Internal temperature: 100 million degrees!]

[Internal pressure: enough to crush a neutron star!]

[Ingredient Status: The metal outer shell has softened... the core energy has boiled...]

[Warning! Approaching the critical point!]

……

"Now!"

Jiang Li's Gluttony Eyes saw through the inside of the black sphere.

He saw that the colossal body of the Cosmic Emperor had shrunk into an extremely dense core under high pressure and high temperature.

Like a...corn kernel poised to burst forth.

All the energy was compressed to its limit.

Just one final release...

……

"Everyone!!"

Jiang Li shouted into the communication channel.

Cover your ears!

"If you don't want to be deafened, find somewhere to hide right now!!"

"We're about to... boil the food!!"

……

Cybertronian surface.

Optimus Prime quickly transformed into his truck form.

"Autobots! Take cover!!"

Megatron also turned into a tank.

"Decepticons! Dig yourselves and bury yourselves! Quick!!"

All the Transformers shrunk into a ball.

It was as if the entirety of Cybertron knew what was about to happen.

……

Step 5: BOOM!

Jiang Li stood on top of the black sphere.

Hold the leadership module (air valve).

He took a deep breath.

The Gluttony God behind him transformed into a giant net (sack) that blotted out the sky.

Get ready to welcome the gushing forth... deliciousness.

"Countdown!!"

"3!"

"2!"

"1!"

"rise!!!"

Jiang Li suddenly pulled out the leadership module.

……

"Bang!"

This loud bang.

It cannot be described in words.

It transcends the concept of sound.

It is a tear in space, a celebration of energy.

A dazzling white light instantly illuminated the entire star sector.

Followed by.

That cosmic emperor compressed to the extreme.

The moment the pressure is released.

A dramatic volume expansion occurred.

His metal skeleton, his chaotic core, every piece of his armor...

It expanded hundreds of times in an instant.

From a hard, dense state.

It turned into a fluffy, crispy, and porous state.

……

"Splash splash splash splash—"

A shower of flowers.

No, it's popcorn everywhere.

Countless enormous, golden fragments of a planet, exuding a rich caramel and buttery aroma.

It gushed out from that black pot.

They are no longer cold metal.

They turned into…hot, fragrant…metal popcorn.

……

"Catch it!!"

"Ergou! Open your pockets!"

"Woof!!"

Er Gou opened that enormous spatial pocket (black hole).

Like a dedicated receiver.

They caught most of the popcorn that sprayed out.

But a small portion, like a meteor shower, fell upon the surface of Cybertron.

……

Harvest time.

"Thump! Thump! Thump!"

Several pieces of popcorn, each the size of a house, were smashed in front of Optimus Prime.

Optimus Prime cautiously peeked out from behind the cover.

He looked at the thing that was still steaming...

Its golden-yellow surface is coated with a layer of shimmering sugar coating (Tyren's honey).

It exudes a fragrance that warms even a flame.

……

"this……"

The bumblebee approached.

It stretched out its finger and poked the popcorn.

"Click."

So crispy.

It broke off a piece and put it in its mouth (the sound generator).

"Squeak, squeak..."

Bumblebee's blue electronic eyes widened instantly.

It raised its hands and emitted a cheerful electronic sound:

"So delicious!!"

"It's sweet! It smells like sweet engine oil!!"

……

"real?"

Even the tinplate couldn't hold back any longer.

He broke off a piece as well.

"Um?!"

"The texture... so crispy and crumbly!"

"And the energy it contains... is so pure!"

"This tastes a million times better than energy bars!"

……

"Rob it!!"

I don't know who shouted.

The Autobots and Decepticons who were originally on the run.

He went completely insane.

They rushed toward the popcorn scattered on the ground.

"This is mine!"

"Don't grab it! I'm Megatron! Give me the big one!"

"Screw you! It's lunchtime! There's no leader here!"

A mortal enemy that fought a civil war for millions of years.

now.

They huddled together for a few pieces of popcorn.

……

The fate of Unicron.

"Is this... the ending?"

In space.

Only one... very, very small core remained.

That is the consciousness of the Cosmic Emperor.

His body has now turned into that pile of popcorn.

Only a weak soul remained, floating in front of Jiang Li.

He watched the bodies being devoured.

There was no anger.

On the contrary, there is a kind of... relief?

"Hundreds of millions of years..."

The soul of the Cosmic Emperor murmured to himself.

"I have always lived to devour."

"I never expected it to end like this..."

"I became the one who was swallowed up."

"and……"

He smelled the lingering odor in the air.

"This smells...it really is quite fragrant."

……

"Would you like to try some?"

Jiang Li handed him a piece of freshly popped popcorn (his own body) that was covered in butter.

The soul of the Cosmic Emperor hesitated for a moment.

Take it.

I took a bite.

"..."

"It smells so good."

……

Epilogue: The Rebirth of Cybertron.

this day.

The civil war on Cybertron is finally over.

It wasn't because one side eliminated the other.

It's because...everyone was stuffed.

Unicron became the biggest snack in the entire universe.

His metallic body is enough to feed the Cybertronian Transformers for tens of thousands of years.

Moreover, it has undergone dual purification through the source of the spark and the leadership module.

These popcorns no longer contain the chaotic evil.

Pure energy.

……

"Transaction complete."

Jiang Li threw the AllSpark fragment to Optimus Prime.

"You can borrow this for a hundred years."

"Fix Cybertron."

"Remember our promise."

"The Deep Blue Cafeteria Cybertron branch needs to be opened."

……

Optimus Prime took the AllSpark.

He nodded solemnly.

"Autobots..."

"We guarantee the mission will be completed."

……

A new journey begins.

Jiang Li clapped his hands.

Back to Gluttony.

"The food was good this time."

"I've taken iron and calcium supplements."

"Next..."

Jiang Li took out the star map that he had "borrowed" from the undead overlord Trazin.

It was marked with... an extremely mysterious coordinate.

[Coordinates: M78 Nebula?]

[Note: Land of Light.]

Specialty: Plasma Spark Tower.

[Comment: I heard the giants there... are made of light?]

……

"Made of light?"

Jiang Li's eyes narrowed into slits.

"Light……"

"Could you make... an aurora-themed shaved ice?"

"or……"

"Sashimi with light?"

Jiang Li waved his hand.

"Swann! Two-Dog!"

"Next stop!"

"M78 Nebula!"

"Let's go... borrow a light!"