I was just fishing, how did I become a Great Old One?

Abyss Kitchen, on the northern outskirts of Black Iron Pot City, at the edge of the Deathly Black Forest.

Leaving the city filled with the smell of cooking oil, Jiang Li and his group piloted the Tree Demon (World Tree Ark) along a dried-up riverbed (which used to flow with blood, but is now dry) to the designated location for this preliminary competition.

What appeared before them was a suffocating black forest.

The trees here soar into the clouds, each as tall as a skyscraper. Their bark has a metallic black luster, covered with red veins that pulsate like blood vessels. The canopies block out the sun, devoid of any green leaves, consisting entirely of sharp, black thorns.

The strangest thing is that this forest... is very noisy.

Even before you step inside, you can hear all sorts of sounds coming from within:

"ah!!!"

"It hurts so much!"

Don't step on me!

"The meat's here! The fresh meat's here!"

……

"Is this forest...haunted?"

Er Gou (Chaos Devouring Hound) bared its newly acquired Cold Iron Skull-Shattering Fang. Although it had a new weapon, its cowardly nature remained unchanged.

"Why are there screams all over the place?"

"It's not haunted."

Tang Sanzang (the cyber monk) pushed up his data sunglasses, his eyes flashing red light.

"It's a [biological alarm system]."

"This forest is alive."

"Every inch of the ground is covered with a kind of... [Abyss Screaming Bacteria]."

"If any invasive species steps on them, they will emit a high-decibel scream to alert the predators in the vicinity."

……

"Screaming bacteria?"

Jiang Li stood at the entrance of the forest and looked down at his feet.

Indeed, the ground was covered with a thick layer of purple moss, like a carpet. Upon closer inspection, the moss was covered with countless human faces, each no bigger than a grain of rice.

They are sleeping with their eyes closed.

"That's interesting."

Jiang Li smiled.

"Since this is a preliminary round, the theme is [Hunting]."

"So that means anything here..."

"They're all ingredients."

Jiang Li lifted his foot and stepped into the forest.

"Smack."

The soles of my feet were on that layer of purple fungal carpet.

moment.

"ah--------!!!"

The small patch of fungal carpet that was being trampled on emitted a scream like a pig being slaughtered.

"You stepped on my face! You stepped on my face!"

"Guys! Wake up! Someone's delivering takeout!"

That shout triggered a chain reaction.

All the screaming bacteria within a radius of several hundred meters were awakened.

"Aaaaaaahh ...

The sound surged in like a tidal wave, making everyone's eardrums ache.

……

"It's so noisy!"

Sun Wukong irritably pulled out his golden cudgel.

"I, Old Sun, hate these loud and boisterous people the most!"

"Shut up!"

boom!

The golden cudgel slammed heavily onto the ground.

The earth cracked open.

The screaming bacteria in that area instantly turned into minced meat.

But it didn't work.

The sound has already traveled out.

"Boom!"

The earth began to tremble.

The surrounding giant black trees, which had been motionless, suddenly... came to life.

They pulled out the roots that were buried deep underground.

The roots were as thick as pythons, covered with black scales, and had sharp drill bits at their tips.

The tree trunk was split open into gaping, blood-red mouths.

[Monster: Ironwood Demon Treant, Dark Forest of Death]

[Rank: Abyss Elite]

[Characteristics: Its outer skin is as hard as tank armor; its roots are bloodthirsty and it prefers fresh meat.]

[Weakness: Fear of fire, fear of... harder teeth.]

……

"roar!!!"

A dozen or so towering steel magic trees, each a hundred meters tall, lashed out at the crowd with their countless enormous roots.

"Is this the prey?"

Nezha excitedly licked his lips.

"Looks tough enough!"

"However, before my Fire-Tipped Spear, they are all just firewood!"

"Nezha, don't burn it all!"

Jiang Li shouted.

"I want the tree root!"

"That's top-quality... [plant-based beef tendon]!"

……

The battle begins.

"Ergou! Try out your new teeth!"

Jiang Li pointed to a thick tree root that was sweeping across the room.

"Woof! Watch this!"

Er Gou had long wanted to try out the titanium alloy porcelain veneers that cost him a thousand soul coins.

Instead of retreating, it advanced, opened its huge mouth, and bit down hard on the steel tree root that was thicker than its waist.

"Snap!!!"

A sickening metallic snapping sound.

That tree root, as hard as iron, was bitten off by Er Gou in one bite, just like a crisp cucumber!

The cut was clean and even covered with a layer of frost (the freezing effect of Han Tieya).

"Awoo!"

The demon tree let out a scream (though it was a tree, it really did scream).

"My leg! My leg is broken!"

"Woof woof woof! Delicious! Crunchy!"

Er Gou chewed on the piece of tree root, his face full of surprise.

"Boss! This thing may be wood, but it tastes like beef tendon! And it has a smoky flavor!"

……

"Good teeth."

Jiang Li nodded in satisfaction.

"Great Sage, don't break it!"

"Pull out their main roots...!"

"Okay!"

Wukong's body grew larger, transforming into the Dharma Heaven and Earth.

He stretched out his enormous hand and grabbed the trunk of a magic tree.

"Get up!"

Rumbling--

Wukong forcefully pulled that hundred-meter-tall demon tree out of the ground.

Countless black roots, still writhing, were exposed to the air.

"Nezha! Trim!"

"receive!"

Nezha rides on his Wind Fire Wheels and wields his Fire-Tipped Spear (now a neutron star spearhead, with extremely high gravity).

He soared through the air, the tip of his gun tracing red streaks.

"Swish swish swish—"

The excess branches, leaves, and bark were precisely trimmed away.

Only the most essential... core tree roots remain.

These tree roots have a deep red, fleshy texture and are still pulsating slightly, emitting a rich... resinous aroma.

……

In just ten minutes.

The dozen or so magical trees in this area have all been turned into bare, unusable food.

The remaining demon trees were so frightened that they pulled out their roots and ran away.

"That's terrifying!"

"What kind of monster is this?!"

"They don't cut down trees! They eat trees!"

……

Cooking time.

Jiang Li looked at the [Steel Demon Tree Roots] scattered all over the ground.

Then I looked at the [Screaming Bacteria] on the ground, still trembling and afraid to scream.

"Now that all the materials are ready..."

"Then let's use what we have on hand."

"Make a dish... [Stir-fried Demon Tree Root]."

"Paired with... [Screaming Mushroom Sauce]."

……

Step 1: Treat the tree roots.

Jiang Li took out the Occam's Razor (concept chef's knife).

They cut and trimmed the thick tree roots.

"Although the tree root is hard, its texture is clearly defined."

"Cut along the grain to get the chewiest texture."

brush brush --

Jiang Li's swordsmanship was as fast as lightning.

The huge tree root was cut into strips about the thickness of a finger.

Step 2: Collect screaming bacteria.

Jiang Li squatted down.

Looking at the purple mushrooms with human faces on the ground.

"Stop pretending to be dead."

"I know you are still alive."

Jiang Li reached out and grabbed a handful of screaming bacteria.

"Ah!!! Help! I've been arrested!"

"Don't eat me! I'm poisonous! I have athlete's foot!"

The mushrooms were still screaming.

"Go ahead and call out."

Jiang Li sneered.

"The louder the sound, the higher the activity."

"The fresher the flavor..."

Step 3: Make the mushroom sauce.

Jiang Li threw the screaming mushroom into the stone mortar (carved from a stone found on the spot).

"mashed!"

Wukong raises his golden cudgel (in pestle mode).

"Thump! Thump! Thump!"

As it was crushed, the mushroom's screams turned into a kind of... rhythmic reverberation.

It eventually turned into a pool of purple sauce with a strange aroma.

This sauce contains sonic energy, giving you a popping sensation when you eat it.

……

Step 4: Stir-fry.

Set up the Klein pot.

"Nezha! Fire!"

"I want a raging fire that can instantly drain all the moisture!"

The pot is heated until it's red-hot.

Pour in the Abyss Black Pig Oil (which I bought in town before).

"Sizzle—"

Insert tree root strips.

Stir-fry over high heat.

The tree roots shrank rapidly in the hot oil, and a layer of charred crust formed on the surface, turning them a golden-red and glossy color.

"Add dried chili peppers (bird's eye chili) and Sichuan peppercorns!"

Add sliced ​​garlic and shredded ginger!

Sauté until fragrant.

At last.

Pour in the bowl of purple "Screaming Mushroom Sauce".

"Sizzle————————"

The sauce made a sharp, almost piercing sound when it touched the scalding bottom of the pot.

aroma!

A powerful aroma, a blend of woody fragrance, smoky oil, and fresh mushroom scent, instantly swept through the entire forest entrance.

……

[Dish Name: Abyss - Stir-fried Steel Demon Tree Root (with Screaming Mushroom Sauce)]

[Level: Hardcore snack to enjoy with drinks.]

[Description: Taken from the root of the overlord demon tree in the Black Forest of Death, its hardness is comparable to steel bars, but after being processed by the God of Cookery, it becomes the texture of top-grade beef tendon.]

[Special Feature: Every bite of this tree root is coated in a squealing mushroom sauce. With each bite, you'll not only hear a satisfying crunch, but also the mushrooms screaming "Delicious!" in your mouth.]

[Benefits: Significantly enhances bite force, supplements plant fiber (although it's made of iron). Improves resistance to noise.]

……

"Out of the pot!"

Jiang Li filled a large basin with the contents.

"Come, try this specialty of the abyss."

Er Gou was the first to rush forward.

It now has a strong desire to conquer anything hard.

"Awoo!"

Take a bite.

"Snap, snap!"

"Delicious! This tree root is so chewy! Much better than the bones I used to gnaw on!"

"And this sauce... it's dancing in my mouth! It feels like hundreds of little people are massaging my tongue!"

Wukong also grabbed a handful.

"Hmm...this tastes good!"

"It's perfect as a snack with drinks!"

"It's a pity there's no wine."

"There's wine."

Jiang Li took out a jar of "waste engine oil latte" (leftovers) from his backpack.

"Just make do with this."

……

Just as everyone was enjoying their meal...

In the shadows deep within the forest.

Pairs of green eyes lit up.

That's not the magic tree.

They were a group of... [contestants].

They were among the other teams that had entered the forest earlier.

They were either fighting a fierce battle with the Demon Tree or trying to evade the Screaming Bacteria's pursuit.

result……

I can smell this aroma.

"What does it taste like?"

A werewolf chef with a wolf's head and a burly build twitched his nose.

"It smells so good..."

"It smells like... stir-fried shredded pork?"

"wrong."

A mummy-like sous chef next to him, whose body was wrapped in bandages, shook his head.

"This smell... has the scent of the Demon Tree."

"And... the screams of the screaming bacteria."

"Could it be...?"

The werewolf chef's eyes widened.

"Someone...fired the magic tree?"

"Are you crazy? That thing is made of iron! How are you supposed to cook it?"

……

Out of curiosity (and greed).

The group of contestants slowly gathered around.

When they saw Jiang Li and his group feasting on a large basin of golden-red tree roots, and the husky biting off a steel-like tree root in one bite, they were shocked.

They fell silent.

"this……"

The werewolf chef swallowed hard.

It glanced at the kitchen knife in its hand, whose blade had already chipped and warped.

He glanced again at the Occam's razor in Jiang Li's hand, which was still dripping oil.

"Is this really... a preliminary round?"

Why do they look like they're... having a picnic?

……

"Um?"

Wukong, who was eating tree roots, suddenly stopped.

He turned his head, his golden eyes sweeping across the surrounding darkness.

"Who's lurking around like that?"

"Trying to freeload a meal?"

"Or... do you want to deliver the food?"

The contestants felt as if they were being targeted by an ancient ferocious beast when Wukong swept his gaze over them.

"Misunderstanding! Misunderstanding!"

The werewolf chef quickly raised his hands (claws).

"We were just... passing by."

"Could I... ask you something?"

"These tree roots..."

"Is it really safe to eat?"

……

Jiang Li wiped his mouth.

Stand up.

Looking at this group of cautious colleagues.

"Can I eat it?"

"It depends on your... teeth."

"And your... methods."

Jiang Li pointed to the screaming mushrooms on the ground that hadn't been eaten yet.

"Would you like to learn?"

"I can teach you."

"but……"

Jiang Li's smile became somewhat meaningful.

"tuition fee……"

"We'll have to trade you your...food."

……

The werewolf chef glanced at the [Rotten Wild Boar Meat] in his backpack.

I glanced again at the tempting pot of dried tree roots.

With a gritted teeth.

"Change!"

"I'm not eating this lousy pork!"

"I want to eat tree roots!"

……

then.

At the entrance to the Black Forest of Death.

An extremely bizarre scene appeared.

They were supposed to be mortal enemies.

now.

They actually sat together.

A bonfire party has started...

While stir-frying tree roots, Jiang Li explained the "dry-frying" technique to the group of Abyss native chefs.

And that forest that was originally filled with screams and killings.

now.

It was eerily quiet.

Because all the screaming bacteria shut their mouths.

All the magic trees were uprooted and ran several kilometers away.

They would rather face the demons deep within the abyss.

I also don't want to face this group of... foodies who won't even spare tree roots and alarms.