I was just fishing, how did I become a Great Old One?

The center of the universe, the source of chaos.

There is no distinction between up, down, left, or right here, nor the passage of time. Only that enormous being, seemingly containing billions of radiant spheres—Yog-Sothoth, the One Who Unifies All Things—suspends silently in the void.

Before it, a human wearing baggy shorts and holding a large silver spoon was making a gesture that sent shivers down the spines of the entire universe.

"Get out of here!"

Jiang Li's silver key sliced ​​through the dimensional membrane, as if scooping up a huge, bouncy pearl, and precisely cut into the edge of that radiant sphere.

"Slurp—"

There was no earth-shattering energy collision as imagined, nor any terrifying scene of laws collapsing.

The spoonful made an incredibly smooth sound, like a spoon cutting into soft tofu or pudding. A ball of light, about the size of a basketball and radiating seven colors, was easily separated from the mother body and came to rest steadily in the groove of the silver spoon.

Countless scenes flowed within this sphere of light: the birth and destruction of stars, the rise and fall of civilizations, and even a fleeting glimpse of Jiang Li's embarrassing childhood experience of bedwetting.

This is a pure fragment of spacetime, a manifestation of truth.

"Is this... the taste of truth?"

Jiang Li looked at the ball of light in the spoon and sniffed.

"It doesn't smell very appetizing, but it looks quite tempting. It's crystal clear, like a large crystal grape."

Since we've already scooped it up, we certainly can't waste it.

Jiang Li opened her mouth and took a bite without hesitation.

"Snap!"

The sphere of light shattered.

"boom--!!!"

In that instant, Jiang Li felt as if a miniature Big Bang had occurred in his mouth.

Countless streams of information, countless timelines, and knowledge from countless dimensions rushed into his brain along with his taste buds.

If it were an ordinary person, or even a demigod, their brains would boil over, and they would instantly become a drooling idiot.

But who is Jiang Li?

He is a man who possesses the rules of the "Source of Gluttony," whose stomach can digest even black holes, let alone this stream of information.

"Hmm...it's a bit cold."

Jiang Li frowned, his cheeks puffed out, and he chewed vigorously.

"The texture is amazing, it melts in your mouth but has a long aftertaste. It starts out a bit sour, that's the taste of time passing; then it's a bit bitter, that's the taste of all suffering; and finally... well, it's quite sweet, a bit like the popping candy we ate as kids."

As he swallowed, the raging flow of information was forcibly transformed into pure energy, nourishing his soul.

His eyes instantly became incredibly deep, as if two nebulae were swirling within them. In that moment, he seemed to see through the past and the future, and witness his own destiny in countless parallel universes.

In some universes, he is a beggar; in others, he is a tyrant; and in still others, he becomes an octopus.

"belch--"

Jiang Li let out a loud burp.

What spewed from his mouth was not gas, but a small, dazzling nebula that instantly dissipated into the void.

"It tastes great! I'll have another spoonful!"

Jiang Li, still not satisfied, raised his spoon again, aiming at Yog Sothoth's true form.

"This time I want the blue one, it looks like blueberry flavor!"

Yog Sothos: "..."

The enormous sphere of light trembled noticeably, as if it had shrunk back.

For the first time, an emotion called "absurdity" arose in its omniscient consciousness.

This human... actually ate the truth? And digested it? And even thought it wasn't enough?

That was a time bubble containing the history of an entire galaxy spanning 300 million years! And he just ate it like a blueberry?

That's enough.

That grand voice rang out again, this time with less mockery and more helplessness.

"Mortal, truth is good, but too much alcohol will only make you sick."

"That 'blueberry' contains all the physical laws within the event horizon of a black hole. If you eat it, you'll probably walk with a gravitational field around you, pulling your friends to stick to you."

"Is it that serious?"

Jiang Li paused, looked at her spoon, and then at the tempting "bubble tea" in front of her.

"Forget it then. I like freedom and don't like having too many accessories on me."

He reluctantly put the spoon away and smacked his lips.

"But speaking of which, Chef, your skills are quite good. These 'pearls' are very authentic, chewy and smooth. It's just a bit too sweet on their own; it would be better with some red beans or pudding."

"..."

Yog Sothos remained silent for a moment.

As the master of time and space, it has seen countless madmen pursuing the truth, some kneeling in worship, some screaming madly, and some self-destructing.

I've never seen anything like it with red beans and pudding added.

"Now that you have passed the test, you have not only faced the truth directly, but also tasted it."

The radiant sphere slowly rotated, from which floated a contract shimmering with a faint golden light, and a small key formed from pure light (not a silver key, but a pendant).

"This is the [Master of the Gate's Franchise]."

"As long as you possess it, you can open a backdoor to any dimension at any time and in any place."

"Of course, in exchange..."

Yog Sothos paused for a moment.

"Don't come and eat me anymore. You can go eat Azathoth; his dreams would make pretty good cotton candy."

This is a blatant attempt to shift the blame eastward!

"make a deal!"

Jiang Li grabbed the contract and the pendant, beaming with joy.

"I also think that blind and foolish boss looks pretty weak and timid. I'll definitely try it next time I have the chance!"

"Should I leave now? There's soup simmering at home, and I'm worried it might overcook."

"Go, glutton."

The radiant sphere emitted a soft glow, enveloping Jiang Li completely.

"May your appetite always be this good... Don't overeat."

……

After a dizzying spin.

"Thump!"

Jiang Li fell from mid-air and landed steadily on a solid deck.

"Boss! You're finally back!"

A familiar voice rang out, followed by a large, dark face approaching – it was Wang Ergou.

"You've been gone for three days and three nights. We thought you'd been unified by that 'One Who Unifies All Things'!"

"Three days and three nights?"

Jiang Li was stunned for a moment. It felt like only a few minutes had passed in that sea of ​​bubbles.

"As expected, that thing about time and space is unreliable and can easily lead to problems."

He stood up and dusted off his bottom.

Looking around, I found myself standing on the deck of the Golden Black Pearl.

The spaceship was currently anchored on a calm, gray sea, surrounded by the enormous "Steamer Island," except that the flames on the island had been extinguished (Jiang Li had turned them into a base), leaving only wisps of smoke.

"Is everyone still alive? No one's missing an arm or a leg, right?"

"Everyone's here, boss!"

Lei Meng ran over carrying a large black pot. "That old Wo (Wovardos) is a bit weak. He almost burned himself to ashes while trying to maintain the spaceship's temperature."

In the corner, the little fireman, Worvados, only the size of a candle flame, lay dying on the coal pile.

"It's alright, I'll give it some nourishment later."

Jiang Li took out the crystal ball containing the [Ktugeya Supreme Red Oil Base] from his pocket.

"This is its mortal enemy; it's like fighting poison with poison, or fire with fire. Just one whiff of this scent, and it'll be instantly invigorated!"

After saying that, Jiang Li walked to the center of the deck.

"Since everyone's hungry, let's eat here!"

"We've had a phenomenal harvest this time! Not only did we get top-quality hot pot base, but we also emptied the gods' warehouses!"

"Ergou, go set up that [Gluttony Cauldron]!"

"Lei Meng, cut the meat! Cut up all that mammoth meat, dried chicken, and moon beast meat!"

"Liu Wei, go and pour all the spare fresh water from the ship into the cauldron!"

"Tonight, at the edge of this dreamlike realm, we're going to cook a pot of food that will make the entire universe drool—the [Old-Fashioned Feast Hot Pot]!"

……

Half an hour later.

The enormous black cauldron was already set up, filled with clear water.

Jiang Li stood beside the cauldron, holding the scorching hot crystal ball in her hands.

"The moment to witness a miracle has arrived!"

He suddenly pulled out the stopper.

"boom--!!!"

An extremely domineering and pungent aura, seemingly capable of igniting the soul, instantly gushed out from the bottle's mouth, transforming into a red fire dragon that soared into the sky.

This smell is too strong!

The surrounding air was instantly stained red, the gray sea began to boil, and even the Shatak birds (a strange bird with a horse's head) hiding in the clouds were choked and fell to the ground.

"Get down!"

Jiang Li poured the red oil from the crystal ball into the cauldron.

"Sizzle sizzle—glug glug—"

The moment the living essence of the flames from Fomalhaut came into contact with the water, the water in the entire cauldron instantly turned into a bright red, churning like lava.

Oil sizzled and rolled, chili peppers (actually Martian red soil) rose and fell, and Sichuan peppercorns (abyssal magic beans) danced.

An indescribable fragrance, a blend of destruction and rebirth, spread wildly in all directions from the Black Pearl.

This fragrance defies the laws of physics and penetrates dimensional barriers.

……

Hundreds of kilometers away, in the city of Inkernok.

The guard captain who had once drunk Jiang Li's "immortal soup" was standing on the city wall yawning.

Suddenly, his nose twitched twice.

"What does this taste like?"

"It smells so good...it's so spicy...I feel like crying..."

The guards beside him were also drooling.

"Captain... I think I saw Grandma waving at me, holding a bowl of rice in her hand..."

……

Further away, in the cold plains.

A group of ghouls that were devouring rotten flesh suddenly stopped.

They raised their dog-like noses, desperately sniffing at the faint, sacred fragrance emanating from the air.

"Woof!" (That's... the smell of God!)

"Woof woof!" (No! It smells better than the gods! It's... the supreme meat broth!)

Thousands upon thousands of ghouls abandoned their food and fled northwards like madmen.

……

Back to the Black Pearl.

At this moment, the hot pot was completely boiling.

"Add meat! Add meat!"

Jiang Li took a pair of long chopsticks made from the branches of the Abyss Giant Tree, picked up a piece of mammoth meat the size of a millstone, and dipped it in the red oil several times.

"These meat slices are thinly cut, so just blanch them for ten seconds! Take them out as soon as they change color!"

He scooped out the sliced ​​meat, coated it with chili oil and minced garlic, and stuffed it into his mouth.

"Whoosh—hah—!"

Jiang Li hissed as he was burned, but the expression on his face was one of extreme enjoyment.

"Awesome! That's so awesome!"

"Although this mammoth meat has been dried for tens of thousands of years, it instantly regained its vitality under the blessing of Ktugya's divine fire! One bite and it's bursting with juice! And this chili oil... it's fucking awesome! It feels like my throat is on fire!"

"Big Yellow! Don't steal my tripe! It's imported from Mars!"

"Ergou! Bring that bucket of mead over! How can we have hot pot without alcohol?"

A group of people were eating heartily on the deck, completely ignoring the fact that this was the forbidden and dangerous Dreamland.

That huge black cauldron was like a giant signal transmitter, constantly announcing to the entire universe, "Dinner is served."

……

Just as everyone was enjoying their meal...

"Rumble..."

The sky suddenly darkened.

The originally gray clouds began to churn violently, forming a huge vortex.

An immense, suffocating pressure slowly descended from the center of the vortex.

"Boss! Something's up!"

Liu Wei was the first to react and put down the bowl in his hand.

"Radar indicates... a colossal creature is approaching! Its size... covers the entire radar screen!"

"Um?"

Jiang Li swallowed the meat in his mouth and looked up.

From within the swirling clouds emerged a... enormous claw covered in scales and slime.

A single fingernail is bigger than the entire Black Pearl!

Then, a head as huge as a mountain slowly emerged. It was a monstrous head resembling a toad, but with countless tentacles and eyes.

【Avatar of the Moon】

It is the true master of those moon beasts, and the terrifying entity behind the Cold Plains.

It was drawn by the strong aroma, which contained the flesh and blood of its countless offspring (the moon beasts that Jiang Li had previously killed).

"roar--!!!"

A roar shook the sea, causing towering waves to surge.

"Who... dares to cook my people?!"

The enormous sound was like rolling thunder.

"They even put in so much chili?!"

"Achoo!"

This ancient god clearly couldn't handle spicy food; the moment it peeked out, it was hit by the pungent smell of chili oil and sneezed.

The ejected airflow transformed into a Category 12 hurricane, nearly capsizing the Black Pearl.

"Hold on! Don't spill the pot!"

Jiang Li held the cauldron with one hand and gripped the railing with the other, his eyes wide with anger.

"Where did this toad come from? Don't you know any manners? Don't sneeze while eating!"

His shout stunned the ancient god.

how many years?

Since it became the ruler of the dark side of the moon, no one has ever dared to call it a toad, let alone teach it table manners!

"You ant! You're courting death!"

The ancient god was enraged, and its enormous, sky-covering claw slammed down.

"Trying to flip the table?"

Jiang Li sneered.

"Perfect timing. We've been eating hot pot for a while now, and everyone's about half full. We're just missing a hearty dish to fill the gap."

"Since you've delivered yourself to my doorstep, don't blame me for being impolite!"

He pulled out the newly acquired "Master of the Gate Franchise" (that little pendant) from his pocket.

"Yog said this thing can open backdoors."

"Then give me a bigger one!"

Jiang Li tossed the pendant into the air.

"Portal! Open! Target—[Azathoth's Chaos Meat Grinder]!"

"Buzz—!!!"

The pendant exploded in mid-air, transforming into a massive, rotating portal of light that blocked the path of the giant claw as it fell.

The other end of the portal connects to the most chaotic and violent zone of chaos at the center of the universe.

"What?!"

The ancient god was shocked, but it was too late to stop.

Its claws reached directly into the portal.

"Sizzle sizzle—plop plop!"

It's like sticking your hand into a high-speed blender.

In that instant, its claws, along with half of its arm, were shredded by the chaotic storm!

"Awooo—!!!"

The screams echoed throughout the world.

A large amount of divine blood fell from the sky like a waterfall, landing right in the... big black pot below.

"Caught it! Divine Blood Tofu!"

Jiang Li excitedly held the large spoon and caught it from below.

"The blood looks a bit dark, but it's okay, it'll turn red after cooking!"

"It would be even better with some more meat!"

He looked at the injured ancient god trying to run away, his eyes glowing green even brighter than Big Yellow's.

"Don't go! Big toad! We're missing a frog leg!"

"Rhubarb! Bite it!"

"Old Vo! Full power! Burn a hole in the sky!"

"We need to add more dishes to today's meal!"

An even more insane "extra meal operation" has been staged once again in this gray sea area.