Water Margin: Did we kill Zheng Tu today?

Upon hearing Ximen Qing's words, Zheng Tu chimed in, "Why is that? Please explain in detail, brother."

When the handsome man saw Zheng Tu ask a question, he gave him a sly smile, his eyes full of smugness.

Clearly, being able to show off in front of such a tall and imposing man made him feel extremely happy!

He took a sip of wine, waved his gold-flecked fan, and said slowly, "There's a saying, 'To die beneath the peony is to die a romantic death.' But the phrase 'to be close to the light' isn't something to be taken lightly; five things must be in place for it to work."

He paused deliberately at this point.

Zheng Tu did as he wished, putting on an appearance of being all ears.

These words were originally heard from an old, venerable woman, but now he changed the subject and presented them as his own knowledge to Zheng Tu.

After all, the feeling of being a saint in front of others is like drinking fine wine, indescribably wonderful, something that ordinary people can't experience.

"First," he held up a finger, "you need to be as handsome as Pan An; second, you need to be as big as a donkey; third, you need to be as rich as Deng Tong; fourth, you need to be young and tender, and even more so, you need to be as patient and patient as a needle in cotton; fifth, you need to have plenty of free time. These five things are known in the martial arts world as 'Pan, Donkey, Deng, Small, and Leisurely.' If you have all five, you'll have a very high chance of getting the job."

The handsome man finished speaking in one breath, his smile widening as he lightly waved his folding fan: "I'm not bragging to my brothers, but to be honest, I have done all five of these things."

"Firstly, although my appearance is not comparable to Pan An, I am still considered quite handsome in Qinghe County. When I walk down the street, several women will turn their heads to look at me."

Secondly, when I was young, I wandered around the streets and alleys and received guidance from a master, who helped me raise a large tortoise. Thirdly, my family runs a herbal medicine shop and has an estate outside the city. Although we don't have mountains of gold and silver and are not as rich as Deng Tong, we still have a few strings of cash, which is more than enough for us and we don't have to worry about food and clothing.

Fourth, my brother is the most patient. Even if he beats me four hundred times, don't even think about me retaliating.

Fifth, I have plenty of free time; otherwise, how could I be here drinking with my brothers?

Upon hearing this, Zheng Tu burst into laughter.

In his opinion, the handsome man in front of him was a truly remarkable person; he had gone through all this trouble just to boast about himself.

His bold and outspoken nature suited his taste perfectly.

However, it's unclear whether this "being exposed to the light" story is true or not. You should know that once a man has drunk a few bowls of wine and is intoxicated, he'll dare to boast about anything, and nine out of ten of his words are unreliable.

Forget about Pan, Lu, Deng, Xiao, and Xian; I still crave warmth, moisture, fragrance, and softness!

"What a fine combination of 'Pan, Lu, Deng, Xiao, and Xian'!" Zheng Tu laughed.

Seeing Zheng Tu's expression, the man assumed he didn't believe him and hurriedly asked, "Brother Zheng, do you not believe what I said?"

Zheng Tu, slightly tipsy, shook his head and laughed, "It's not that I don't believe you, brother. Let's put aside the 'handsome, rich, handsome, young, and leisurely' things for now, just talk about 'getting close to someone.' How easy is that? Not to mention how her husband couldn't find out, Qinghe County isn't that big, nor that small. How can you expect to avoid being seen by others?"

The handsome man was about to argue when he heard a series of urgent knocks on the door of the side room.

"Grandpa, Grandpa!" It was the servant Dai'an's voice. "Qiao Yun, who sells pears in the county, is running around in a panic on the street. I wonder what urgent matter has happened. I was worried that something might be wrong, so I came to inform you."

The handsome man frowned and said impatiently towards the door, "What's the big deal? Can't you see I'm having drinks with my brothers? Don't bother me!"

After sending the servant Dai'an away, he turned back and continued the conversation with Zheng Tu:

"Brother, you don't know this. As the saying goes, 'Since ancient times, fine horses have often carried fools, and beautiful wives often sleep with clumsy husbands.' The matchmaker under the moon has just come up with this pairing."

That woman's husband is a fool, always out there making a living. How could he understand the pleasures of a woman's home? Isn't this one of the four great calamities of life: being virtuous but not worthy of one's position, having talent but not capable of fulfilling one's duties, lacking the strength to act, and being wise but not able to plan?

This young lady is as delicate as a flower; unless she's a formidable character, how can you possibly control her?

"As for avoiding being seen..." He chuckled and lowered his voice, "It's all about being clever and discreet."

Zheng Tu listened to the man's story with such conviction, as if he were a storyteller telling a tale, with a captivating and intriguing plot that made him eager to hear more.

Seeing him deliberately pause at crucial points, I knew he was definitely keeping me in suspense again. I was both annoyed and amused, and slammed my hand on the table, laughing and scolding:

"You scoundrel, what a way you are to keep me in suspense! Tell me quickly, or I won't let you off the hook!"

The handsome man smiled knowingly, leaned closer, and lowered his voice, saying, "As for avoiding other people's attention, hehe... Brother, you may not know, but that beautiful young lady next door runs a teahouse."

This old hag who runs the teahouse is no pushover either. She's desperately trying to squeeze some gold and silver out of me. A little bit of gold and silver is nothing to me, what's it worth? I'll let her take it."

He took a sip of wine and continued, "That old woman is truly remarkable: she's a matchmaker, a go-between, a shrew, a conman, a smooth talker, and a smooth operator. In Qinghe County, if we're talking about the ability to connect people and make connections, she's second to none."

At this point, he looked quite proud: "But my ability to recognize and make good use of people is not something I can boast about; in the entire Qinghe County, I'm afraid no one can match me."

The old woman's teahouse is next to the young lady's house, and its back door leads to a secluded alley, making it quite hidden. I'll use a little trick to have that old woman arrange everything perfectly, so that no one will know a thing..."

Just as they were getting into the conversation, the door creaked open and a waiter from the restaurant pushed it open, carrying in a freshly cooked shad.

The fish was served on a blue and white porcelain plate, its body marked with intricate cuts, topped with slices of ham, mushrooms, and bamboo shoots, and drizzled with Shaoxing wine and soy sauce. Steam rose from the plate, and the aroma was irresistible.

Junhanzi's words were interrupted, so he had to pause for a moment. He raised his cup and said with a smile, "Come, Brother Zheng, try this Yangtze River shad. It's a seasonal delicacy and should be eaten while it's hot."

Without any hesitation, Zheng Tu picked up a piece of fish with his chopsticks and put it in his mouth. He found the fish meat to be as tender as fat, exceptionally delicious, and the oil melted quickly in his mouth, filling it with fragrance. He couldn't help but praise, "Truly excellent fish! This cooking skill is truly remarkable!"

The two drank a cup together and then tasted a few more bites of fish.

Zheng Tu thought to himself, "This brother's story is quite interesting, but... how could there be such a coincidence in the world?"

He happened to bump into that beautiful woman, and coincidentally, her husband was a good-for-nothing. Coincidentally, there was a teahouse next to the beautiful woman, and coincidentally, the owner of the teahouse was a greedy pimp. Coincidentally, he himself possessed all five qualities of a man: handsome, wealthy, handsome, tall, and leisurely.

If so many coincidences truly come together, then it must be a match made in heaven, a destiny ordained by the God of Marriage!