Superman's End Manual

"Alright, alright, two songs it is then." Ke Yinzhi spread his hands. "But let me state beforehand that I'm tone-deaf. To make fun of me, torturing everyone's ears, and ruining the birthday atmosphere, isn't that putting the cart before the horse?"

Ke Xiaomo exposed it on the spot.

"Being tone-deaf refers to the fact that during elementary school, he recorded a scary nursery rhyme using a female voice imitation and left the tape recorder outside Mingye's room late at night, which frightened him so much that he was afraid to go to the bathroom alone at night for two months afterward?"

Ke Mingye was taken aback at first, then stunned: "Holy crap, so it was my older brother who was messing with me back then?!"

Veins bulged on his forehead, and he almost popped the can of cola he was holding.

Upon hearing this, Ke Yinzhi began to feign ignorance: "Is that so?" He pondered for a moment, staring at the ceiling, "Although I don't remember it very clearly, since it's all in the past, I think that when Mingye looks back now, he must only feel that it was an interesting and happy memory, right?"

"Happy my ass! I almost peed my pants from fright! Next time it's your birthday, I'll dress in all black and sing you a funeral song, let's see if you're still happy or funny then!"

Ke Mingye grumbled and cursed.

Ke Yongzhu snorted and said, "That's how people who steal pandas are. What kind of character do you expect from them?"

"A perverse sense of humor," Bai Ziling said.

“That’s going too far,” Bai Qiuwu said.

"Keep up the good work." Only Bai Zini said this.

She covered her mouth with her hand, a sly expression on her face as if she had remembered something funny, and said with schadenfreude, "I still remember when my brother knocked on my door in the middle of the night, saying that he was afraid to go to the toilet alone and asked me to stand guard outside."

She paused, then added, "While they were inside, they kept asking, 'Have you left yet?' It was so lame, wasn't it?!"

Upon hearing this, Ke Yongzhu rested her chin on her hand and exclaimed, "You have such a good temper. If it were me, I wouldn't accompany him to the toilet. I would have gone straight back to my room to sleep."

"I was only a few years old then, it's normal to be a little timid, right?" Ke Mingye gritted his teeth. "What's abnormal is that older brother playing eerie songs outside his younger brother's room in the middle of the night, is that something a human being would do?!"

Ke Yinzhi mimicked his tone and said innocently, "I was only a few years old back then, it's normal to be a little naughty, right?"

"Get lost! You're not human anymore, you're more like a 'pervert' than just 'naughty'!"

After finishing his Wanglaoji herbal tea, Ke Yongzhu casually tossed it into the trash can and said disdainfully, "I don't think any of you are human, you know that?"

He paused for a moment: "This is the first time I've ever seen a genius celebrate someone's birthday at the entrance of a restroom."

Ke Mingye said, "It was Bai Zini who instigated it."

“But my brother did it too.” Bai Zini raised her right hand and pointed angrily at Ke Mingye.

"Hmm." Bai Ziling nodded, her tone indifferent yet serious. "It's all Third Brother's fault."

"Alright, alright, now it's my problem." Ke Mingye sighed. "Speaking of which, can we please stop bringing up the last birthday incident? Do we really have to keep dredging up our poor second brother?"

"Didn't you bring it up yourself?"

As Ke Xiaomo spoke, she rubbed her Tianming acupoint, pondering how to erase the memory of celebrating a birthday in the toilet from the annals of history.

Ever since he mentioned this to Ke Yinzhi, he's been teased by Ke Yinzhi every day, and it's almost become a running joke in the family chat group.

He secretly made up his mind.

On Ke Yinzhi's birthday, he would present him with a birthday cake the moment Ke Yinzhi flushed the toilet and stepped out of the bathroom. Ideally, the cake would be covered in dark chocolate-flavored frosting shaped like excrement.

With that in mind, he decided to let Ke Yinzhi go for the time being and shift his revenge to Ke Mingye.

So he turned around and said to Ke Mingye, who was drinking a beverage, in a serious tone, "I'll give you a Blue Owl figurine for your next birthday."

"Cough...cough..."

Ke Mingye coughed twice, almost spitting out the cola he had just imported.

His eye twitched slightly, and he said sarcastically, "Heh, Second Brother, you're too good at joking. With that weak hero's strength, if he could become famous enough to make figurines, I'd just eat him up, okay?"

Bai Qiuwu took a sip of her drink and asked, puzzled, "Hmm...you look down on him that much?"

Bai Zini puffed out her cheeks and covered her mouth with her hand to suppress her laughter.

Finally, unable to bear it any longer, he closed his eyes, coughed twice, and then said dismissively, "I agree with what you said, bro. That blue owl doesn't even deserve to be made into a figure."

"Hehe." Ke Mingye rolled his eyes at her.

Hearing this, Ke Xiaomo nodded in satisfaction and earnestly agreed, "That's true. This Blue Owl is too lame; it doesn't seem like a company would release a figurine of him."

He paused for a moment, then asked, "So, what kind of figurine do you want?"

"A figure of Magical Girl Ash, please," Ke Mingye said casually. "Oh, preferably a swimsuit version, thank you."

Bai Zini's smile vanished instantly, and the tips of her ears turned slightly red.

She paused, then blushed and whispered, "No, absolutely not!"

"No... what's it to you if my second brother gives me some model figures or something as a birthday present?"

After a pause, Ke Mingye said sarcastically, "I get it, you also want a Magical Girl Ash figure. Don't worry, your second brother never favors any of his younger siblings, he will definitely buy you an Ash figure too: mine is the bikini version, yours is the yukata version, they look amazing together."

"You...you...you...you're seriously ill."

Bai Zini stammered, too angry to speak, her shoulders trembling with rage.

“Xiao Ni means you want it,” Ke Xiaomo said, putting on a ‘I’m the older brother, I know best’ look. “Then I’ll buy you one for your birthday too. Don’t worry, everyone will get one.”

Bai Zini gritted her teeth and was about to jump up from the sofa.

"Brother, I said no, and that's final! Can you please stop misinterpreting me?!"

Bai Qiuwu was stunned for a moment, then turned to look at Ke Mingye, wondering if Mingye already knew that Xiao Ni was the magical girl Ash.

Listening to their conversation, Ke Yinzhi casually interjected, "Really not going to take it? I seem to remember Xiao Ni really liking Magical Girl Ash?"

He raised an eyebrow, recalling, "Last month, she kept sending us her photos, asking us every day, 'Isn't she very pretty? She's much prettier in real life than in photos,' and things like that..."

"Where, where, where is it?! Why is it that you usually have such a bad memory, yet you remember these trivial little things so clearly?!"

Bai Zini shouted loudly, her face and ears turning bright red, and it seemed as if steam was rising from her head.

"I'm not asking you guys. She only tormented me, okay? She's obsessed with idols, asking me every day if her idol is good-looking. She has no shame at all."

Ke Mingye pressed his advantage.

Bai Zini blushed, took a deep breath, glared at him angrily, and then turned to Ke Yinzhi.

"Who hasn't had an idol? It's not like you, old man, didn't have a magical girl or a superhero when you were in school!"

After saying that, she blushed and turned to Ke Xiaomo, whispering, "Even if we're going to buy one, it can't be a swimsuit style... that's too erotic."

Upon hearing this, Ke Xiao silently opened her phone, searched for "Magical Girl Ashes figurine" on Taobao, and then showed the results to Bai Zini.

"Which one do you like?" he asked.

Bai Zini reluctantly raised her head, her eyes quickly scanning the search results displayed on the Taobao page. Her mouth dropped open, first in disbelief, then she gritted her teeth in anger.

Finally, they were speechless.

It's as if they've bowed down to the world.

She put her hand to her forehead, sighed deeply, and while mentally condemning the unscrupulous merchants' money-grabbing tactics, said, "Then let's just buy the swimsuit version for my brother; it's considered normal for that price range."

"Actually, I was just joking. Who likes figurines?" Ke Mingye said.

Upon hearing Ke Mingye's words, Ke Xiaomo asked Bai Zini, "Then do you want Xiao Ni?"

"do not want!"

Bai Zini raised her hand and decisively refused.

She frowned, thinking, "Why don't I use my time to look in the mirror after I transform? Why buy figurines? Second brother, just say you're crazy!"

"Then forget it," Ke Xiaomo said calmly.

Bai Zini breathed a sigh of relief, sipped her drink, and sat down next to Ke Mingye, asking him in a low voice, "So, Second Brother knew you were that owl hero?"

Ke Mingye said, "What do you mean by 'owl hero'? My name is 'Blue Owl.' Are you a middle school student who doesn't know how to pronounce 'owl'? Xiao, understand?"

"No one would not know how to pronounce it. Even if they didn't know, they would look it up on Baidu."

"Oh, it seems I misunderstood you."

"It's just that your taste in names is terrible, I don't want to pronounce them."

"So Ashes sounds good?" Ke Mingye said. "It sounds like cannon fodder, magical girl cannon fodder. I'm afraid you'll die suddenly just like your name someday."

"Go to hell."

Bai Zini paused for a moment, then asked in a low voice, "So Second Brother really knows?"

"if not?"

"How did he know... Could it be that you didn't tell me, but told him instead?"

Upon hearing this, Ke Mingye took a sip of his drink and secretly clicked his tongue, thinking to himself, "If you're this possessive of your brother, little sister, if you ever get a boyfriend, he'll probably be driven to commit seppuku by you."

Thinking this, he sighed and explained, "Bad luck. I forgot to hide my diary, and he read it. Otherwise, I would never have told you. None of you would have known."

As soon as she finished speaking, Bai Zini was about to continue arguing with that statement. Suddenly, the sound of a key turning in the lock came from the entryway, and the front door was pushed open.

Ke Youqing walked into the living room, glanced at the group, and then at the date. Finally, his gaze swept over the children's faces before slowly settling on the flower wreath atop Bai Qiuwu's head.

He took the cigarette out of his mouth, spoke in a gentle voice, and said, "Happy birthday, go to bed early." After saying that, Ke Youqing moved upstairs to the second floor, leaving behind only a tired figure.

"Does Dad know you're a Blue Owl?"

Bai Zini glanced at her father's back, then at Ke Mingye and asked.

“Why tell him when he doesn’t know?” Ke Mingye said. “He’s working overtime every day and is exhausted. He has to worry about a superhero son, not to mention a magical girl daughter.”