I don't want to be an elf!

Chapter Eighteen Significance

Izumi Kyōka still clearly remembers why she has ended up like this.

Six months ago, on a day that seemed no different from any other, she awakened a superpower called "Yaksha Shirayuki".

However, the superpower that suddenly awakened did not obey her will; instead, it went berserk before her eyes and killed her parents.

That day, she lost everything.

Unable to accept reality, the girl ran out of the house like a madwoman.

After that, Izumi Kyoka, whose whole world had collapsed, could only wander the streets in a daze, not knowing why she lived or how to live.

Just before she was on the verge of a mental and physical breakdown, she met a man who would change her life forever.

Ryunosuke Akutagawa.

However, this man was neither an ideal mentor nor a kind and righteous person.

Instead, they are demons that crawled out of purgatory.

After hearing Izumi Kyōka's story, he said without any mercy:

Your demonic nature is born for slaughter, and that is its very value.

Thus, Izumi Kyōka was given new value by him.

The girl, who didn't know why she lived, obediently accepted this cruel meaning and became an assassin for the Port Mafia.

Following the meaning given to her by Ryunosuke Akutagawa, she became a doll implanted with a heart for killing, a machine that lived for killing.

Only through killing can she continue to prove her worth; only in this way can she have a reason to live.

“My special ability is born for killing. If I don’t continue killing, I will lose my last value,” Izumi Kyoka said listlessly.

"Do you want to kill someone?" Kurumi Tokisaki asked calmly. "If you do, I can let you continue to fulfill your mission as an assassin."

"This is my job as a tool."

"But what about Izumi Kyoka? As a living, breathing human being, are you willing to continue killing?"

Izumi Kyōka's lifeless eyes, which were as still as a deep pool, seemed to ripple slightly. She lowered her head and did not give any answer.

“Unlike the rest of the Port Mafia, you don’t want to kill anyone, and you’ve never derived any pleasure from killing,” Kurumi Tokisaki asked calmly. “If that’s the case, why do you stubbornly stay in this quagmire that only brings you pain?”

“Because this is my only home,” Izumi Kyoka replied softly.

If she could no longer work as an assassin, she would lose the only value she possessed.

Having lost her last remaining value, what reason did she have to continue living in this world with this body that had murdered her parents?

Izumi Kyōka didn't know.

Feeling lost about life and terrified of death, she clung to the lifeline offered by Ryunosuke Akutagawa like a drowning person, struggling painfully in the swamp and sinking deeper and deeper.

By continuing to kill, he can survive.

But the more he killed, the heavier the pain in his heart became.

Every night, not only do her parents' faces appear in her nightmares, but also the men, women, and children she killed, who curse her viciously, leaving her no peace even in her sleep.

To alleviate her inner torment, she shut down her emotions and thoughts, becoming a tool for numbness.

This is the curse that binds Izumi Kyoka.

"But why must you accept the meaning that Ryunosuke Akutagawa assigns to you?"

Kurumi Tokisaki's words were like the first ray of sunlight melting the ice, allowing the girl's chaotic mind to start thinking again.

“A person without value certainly doesn’t deserve to live in this world,” Kurumi Tokisaki said earnestly. “But who determines a person’s value? Others? That’s not right. Only a person can determine their own value. No one can determine the value of another person.”

Kurumi Tokisaki bent down and smiled gently: "You are the same."

Izumi Kyoka's lips moved, and a look of confusion appeared in her lifeless eyes: "But what value do I have, having killed my parents and destroyed everything with my own hands?"

"I don't know about that; you'll have to find out for yourself," Kurumi Tokisaki said helplessly. "So, before you find a new reason to live, let me give you value beyond killing."

"Value beyond killing?"

“As my subordinate, you will obey my orders. You no longer need to continue living in this blood-soaked hell every day. I will rescue you from the swamp known as the Port Mafia.”

“But I’ve already killed people. This is a sin I can’t escape.” Izumi Kyoka looked at her hands and said, her voice trembling slightly. “Thirty-six people. I killed thirty-six people in six months. Can I really be redeemed?”

“Thirty-six people.” Kurumi Tokisaki smiled. “Is that a lot?”

"Huh?" Izumi Kyoka was stunned.

"There are only thirty-six people. Compared with those who are truly burdened by sin, your sins are nothing."

Kurumi Tokisaki said casually, as if human life were worthless: "Believe me, Kyoka, it's not too late. You still have a chance to turn back."

Even so, I cannot erase the guilt in my heart.

"Then repent."

"Can repentance bring salvation?"

"No, your sins will continue to haunt you. You will never be able to wash away the blood on your hands for the rest of your life. This is a karmic debt that you cannot escape even in death."

Kurumi Tokisaki's tone was as hard as iron, and every word struck Kyoka Izumi's heart, making her feel even more guilty.

However, her tone suddenly softened.

"However, this does not mean that you cannot be a good person for the rest of your life."

Kurumi Tokisaki gently stroked her head and said softly, "Instead of giving up on change and wallowing in self-pity, you should take action to make up for past mistakes."

Kurumi Tokisaki extended her hand and placed it in front of Kyoka Izumi.

As long as you hold this hand, you can start a new life.

No longer do we need to struggle desperately in this dark swamp, no longer do we need to prove our worth in living through killing.

But, do I, with my heavy sins, really deserve this blessing?

Can someone who killed their parents because of their superpower going berserk, and who took the lives of thirty-six people as a tool for murder, really live on as a matter of course?

Gazing at the fair hand, a glimmer of light appeared in Izumi Kyōka's otherwise lifeless eyes.

The closed heart is reopened, and stagnant thoughts begin to run again.

Like a traveler who has not had a drop of water in the desert finding a life-saving spring, Quan Jinghua's lifeless eyes suddenly brightened.

She took Tokisaki Kurumi's hand.

"Is this your choice?"

"Yes."

Izumi Kyōka held her hand tightly, unwilling to let go: "Please, save me."

"Is this your choice?"

A smile appeared on Tokisaki Kurumi's face.

"Then, as you wish."

Chapter Nineteen: The Truth About Parricide

Saving Izumi Kyoka is actually quite simple.

The source of this girl's inner demons stemmed from her rampaging supernatural powers killing her parents, which was tantamount to her killing them with her own hands.

Because of this, the girl, unable to accept this fact, sealed away her emotions and gave up thinking, living like a doll without a heart.

Later, because Ryunosuke Akutagawa imposed his beliefs on her, the kind-hearted Kyoka Izumi suffered even more.

And so, she could only walk further and further down this thorny path stained with blood.

until death.

However, Tokisaki Kurumi knew that Izumi Kyoka's suffering was meaningless.

It has no meaning in the literal sense.

Because it wasn't Izumi Kyoka's special ability that killed her parents.

She had been misunderstanding the truth about her parents' deaths all along.

Izumi Kyōka was pampered by her parents from a young age, living a carefree life and what she thought was an ordinary one.

A happy and harmonious family is what every family hopes for.

However, what she didn't know was the hidden identity of her parents.

They were assassins belonging to a government agency.

Yes, Izumi Kyoka's parents were not ordinary people; they were secret assassins working for the government, a notorious killer couple in the world of assassins.

Yasha Shirayuki is not Izumi Kyōka's supernatural ability, but rather her mother's.

Her parents failed to properly handle the scene during a previous assassination attempt, which inadvertently led to their identities being exposed.

For assassins, having their identity exposed to the enemy is tantamount to death.

Thus, the assassin couple naturally attracted the attention of their enemies, becoming the origin of all the tragedy.

That night, the vengeful superhuman used his manipulative abilities to take control of the couple's bodies when they were off guard. Once they were completely under his control, they would be unable to resist any of his commands.

In order to avoid becoming the other party's puppet and to protect Izumi Kyoka, the mother summoned Yasha Shirayuki, ordered it to kill her and her husband, and used a secret technique to transfer Yasha Shirayuki into her blood relative, her own daughter Izumi Kyoka.

However, Izumi Kyoka was unaware that her parents were assassins, that her mother possessed supernatural abilities, or that someone had a grudge against her that night.

In her eyes, Yasha Shirayuki was just someone who suddenly appeared, killed her parents, and then clung to her body ever since.

She mistook Yaksha Shirayuki for her awakened ability, and thus blamed herself for her parents' deaths.

It was her out-of-control superpower that killed her parents, and as the possessor of the superpower, she was the murderer of her family.

Izumi Kyoka has always believed this.

To truly save her, we must let her know the truth and free her from the curse of patricide.

With this thought in mind, Tokisaki Kurumi asked, "Kyouka, if I told you that you didn't kill your parents, would you believe me?"

Izumi Kyoka shook her head without hesitation: "Yasha Shirayuki is my superpower. I saw her kill my parents with my own eyes. It was my out-of-control superpower that killed my parents... It was me who killed them."