Love in Cthulhu

Chapter 20 Together

Any guy would be tempted at this point, like the guy next to me. I thought to myself, "Wow, this guy is amazing at games and has such a beautiful girlfriend. He braves the freezing cold to come to this smoky internet cafe. He's already a winner in life at such a young age. I'm so envious!"
But Jianxi's smile twisted in Zhou Nan's eyes, mysterious and profound, like a black hole, and for a moment all he could see was the image of Gantang's tragic death flashing before his eyes.

"Why are you here?" He gave a faint smile, pretending to be surprised and happy, hoping to divert her attention.

"What else could I be here for besides looking for you? Didn't I tell you I know where you go? What, you've already forgotten what you said this morning? Are you a goldfish?"

Jian Xi pouted and casually sat on the armrest of his sofa, hooking the plastic bag on her finger, which was filled with white lunch boxes.

"Can't you have fried rice? I told the owner to step aside and I fried it myself on his griddle. He even praised my technique." Her tone was full of boasting.

"You buy fried rice and then cook it yourself?" Zhou Nan couldn't understand what this meant.

"Of course! How can the boss's cooking be the same as mine? His cooking is for selling products, but I can put my heart into it. It's the same principle as a maid café. Give it a try."

Golden fried rice in a plastic box, with fried egg, scallions, ham and diced beans, all the ingredients together cost eight yuan a serving outside, and the aroma of oil is irresistible.

Zhou Nan took a bite of fried rice and silently shed tears. It wasn't that it was so delicious that he had to cry, but it was too hot. The fried rice stall at the entrance was only about twenty meters away from here, and the rice grains were still warm from the hot plate.

He really wanted to blow a couple of breaths, but he had something to hide and Jian Xi couldn't refuse his invitation. The guy next to him even stopped playing his game and just stared blankly at him, probably feeling incredibly envious. As a single guy, being caught between couples always made him look out of place.

"Is it delicious? Is it delicious?" Jian Xi squinted her eyes.

"I don't eat pickled mustard greens." Zhou Nan picked out a piece of pickled mustard greens with his chopsticks, probably leftovers from when he was cooking for someone earlier.

"You didn't grow tall when you were little because you were a picky eater." Jian Xi looked regretful and patted Zhou Nan's hair. "So, who is this person? Why did you call this person over so quickly?"

She tried to be polite first, then resorted to force. Her gaze shifted to the screen again. Gan Tang had already gone offline, her avatar completely grayed out. Zhou Nan had a habit of making his font very large when chatting, so the entire chat box only contained the last few sentences. Unfortunately, the address and the reason for her being asked to come were clearly visible.

"Just a friend. I asked him to come out and play games." Zhou Nan said without changing his expression. He could only hope that Jian Xi wasn't familiar enough with the street to remember the house numbers.

"Who else do you have besides me? And this name sounds like a girl's, and the profile picture looks like a girl's too." Jian Xi rested her chin on her hand and tilted her head. "You're cheating on me?"

Am I that kind of person?

“You’re not,” Jian Xi said, “but if the other person is a literary girl, then it’s not necessarily true.”

Zhou Nan's heart skipped a beat, but she had told him not to be kind, hadn't she? Now look what happened, Jian Xi had seen it all, how could she possibly let Gan Tang off the hook?
"Let me see what you're all talking about."

As Jian Xi reached for the mouse, Zhou Nan's mind raced, trying to figure out a legitimate way to stop her.
How about going all out now? A little show-off, grab her, gaze deeply into her eyes, say "I missed you so much," and then give her a passionate kiss? That might break her defenses, but it might not break her petty jealousy… Jian Xi has always been the kind of little devil who thinks, "I'm prettier than all the other girls, so you can only play with me."

Just as Jian Xi was scrolling up the chat bar, the screen went black with a snap, and the computer automatically restarted. She and Zhou Nan were both stunned. The guy next to her, who had just become an apprentice, quickly raised his hand: "Oh, sorry, sorry! My machine was stuck and I wanted to restart it. Sorry, I accidentally pressed yours."

The power buttons used in internet cafes are fixed buttons on the table, and sometimes such accidents do happen. But Zhou Nan was sure it wasn't an accident, because that guy's apologetic smile looked deliberate, and his acting was too clumsy.

It's probably some kind of damn male loyalty, right? Like when you're out hanging out with your best buddies, and one of them sends you some great movies to watch together, would you immediately turn around and go back to your sister-in-law to tattle?
What wandering knight doesn't have his moments of dancing? As long as he doesn't commit a grave mistake like a night of passion, it's all forgivable. Every man in the world has this obligation to vouch for his brothers!

Zhou Nan understood and was a little touched. He was indeed a good apprentice and a good brother. Men's friendship is so simple. Winning a game together and becoming apprentices is like being a good son and an old father.

But what I felt more was disheartened. This trick might fool an average girl, but the woman next to me wasn't a delicate beauty; she was a monster.

"It's okay." Jian Xi showed an innocent smile, which made her good buddy eager to try it out, and his envy of Zhou Nan increased even more.

Little did he know that the shadow beneath his seat had already begun to move, silently climbing up the sofa, wrapping around his neck, and opening its wriggling teeth, but not yet biting down.

Jian Xi hesitated. She had spent the whole day figuring out her relationship with Zhou Nan and had decided to accept it and be an ordinary girl. But right from the start, someone was making her very unhappy. Logically and emotionally, she should get back at this guy, but she didn't want to go against her wishes so quickly.

To be or not to be, that is the question, like a precept. Breaking a precept is easy, but keeping it is much harder.

She glanced sideways at Zhou Nan, who also looked at her, feeling very nervous. He didn't understand whether Jian Xi was threatening him or what she wanted to do; he couldn't figure it out.

This silent eye contact was seen as flirting by the guy next to him, so he decisively got up to avoid his gold-plated eyes being blinded by the couple's adoration. The shadow clinging to him faded away, and Jian Xi pulled out his chair and sat down, arms crossed, looking a little sullen.

You didn't eat? Zhou Nan was surprised.

"Why...did you stop?" he asked cautiously in a low voice.

"It's too ugly, it's disgusting." Jian Xi rolled her eyes and tilted her head back.

Who are you kidding? You can stomach an old man, but a young man is much more bouncy and tender? Or is it that in your line of work, you prefer older men rather than younger ones? Does having a longer memory make them more palatable?

"What? Do you want me to continue? Did you have a fight with him? Then we can still catch up with him now." Jian Xi turned her head again and looked at him with a very provocative gaze.

"Then forget it. It's best for you not to eat it."

"Sure, I promise you."

"What?" Zhou Nan didn't quite understand.

“I mean, the advice you gave me this morning. I’ve thought about it carefully, and you’re right. Even if no one notices, it’s not good to keep doing this. Small towns aren’t very populated, and if the same problem keeps happening, it will raise people’s suspicion.”

Jianxi said, "This is not a good thing for me. I want to be an ordinary girl. So, whether it's eating or anything else, I will not show any aspects of myself that are not like Jianxi, unless you bring these things up with me."

Zhou Nan stared blankly at Jian Xi, never expecting this little monster to suddenly become so easy to talk to.

According to his original plan, he had to be a little more affectionate, like holding her hand like the male protagonist in those romance novels, saying nice things, like, "Just so you won't do this again in the future, okay?"

He hadn't even made a move, yet a single confession was enough to completely change her attitude? What about all those romantic male lead scenarios? This makes him seem like a fool, or a scumbag, about to deceive someone only to find they're already head over heels in love.

“Don’t misunderstand, I didn’t do this for you. I just want to be a Jian Xi, like the real Jian Xi. So everything else is like a tail that’s grown out of me, but I can’t just cut off these tails that belong to me. So I can only hide them and pretend they’re not there,” Jian Xi said. “That’s a good thing,” Zhou Nan nodded.

"What do you mean this is a good thing? I've given so much and this is all you give me?" Jian Xi suddenly said fiercely.

"Then what do you want?"

"What's with this innocent tone? Why didn't you act all weak when that beast was pressing down on my shoulders this morning? Now you're suddenly forgetful and denying everything? What's the difference between you and a womanizer who pulls up his pants and runs away?"

"Confessing my feelings? I'm very serious about it."

He himself felt disgusted with himself for saying those words, but since he had already gone this far in the performance, he had no choice but to continue.

He wasn't sure if the confession had actually worked better than he'd imagined, but her change was definitely related to that, so of course he had to continue.

Jian Xi, who had just been so proud and arrogant, instantly wilted. Her face turned red, but she didn't want to back down. She stubbornly stared at Zhou Nan and said, "Then you have to give me a reason."

"Do you need a reason to like someone? Do you? Don't you? It's a very simple thing. You don't care about anything, you're happy, you get on a train, eating hot pot and singing songs as you leave the city, and suddenly the train is overturned into the water."

Zhou Nan said, "You emerge from the water and see a female bandit with a slim waist, long legs, and long hair. She steps on your face, looking very imposing, and says, 'This mountain is mine, this tree is mine, and if you want to pass, leave your toll!' If you feel a stirring in your heart and wish you could stay and become a bandit with her, that means you like her."

These words came out without any thought, but he had actually been holding them in for a long time. To him, Jian Xi was the female bandit in his life.

He has never been a good-tempered person. As a child, he was like a firecracker, easily exploding. As he grew up, he became more and more sensitive, obsessed with saving face, and very talkative. He could never be described as a sunny, cheerful, and popular handsome guy. In fact, he has fewer friends than when he was a child.

The incident during the high school entrance exam made him even more withdrawn. At the beginning of high school, he was assigned to a parallel class. The teacher asked him to be the class monitor and academic representative, but he looked down on both his classmates and the current teachers. He felt that the teachers were not competent and that the students here were noisy and had poor manners.

It wasn't until this moment that he realized the place he used to be in was too good. He was in the best class in junior high, so his classmates were also the best. After they finished making a ruckus, they could immediately calm down and get into the zone. The teachers' lectures were also of a high standard. Instead, this bunch of grasshoppers here just couldn't sit still no matter what.

During that time, he was incredibly arrogant, looking down on everyone. There wasn't a single person in the class he liked, and naturally, no one liked him as the teacher's lackey, thinking he was always so cocky.

If it weren't for Jian Xi, he would probably have been completely isolated long ago.

She was like a powerful, domineering ray of light that barged into his world—lively, free-spirited, and a beautiful little madwoman. As a light, she could shine anywhere, but she chose to stay and illuminate this idiot.

How could he not know that she also had feelings for him?
But that idiot knew he was an idiot and didn't have the courage to confess to her. Her parents' business was so successful that if it weren't for her throat ailment, Jian Xi wouldn't have stayed here at all. After graduating from high school, she was destined to fly far away.

Regardless of his family background or personality, he knew very well that he was not good enough for her, so he could only bury these thoughts deep inside and continue to joke and laugh with her, saying that they would be friends at this last school.

But it was precisely at this moment that she died, and even in death she couldn't rest, she had to bring back an identical monster.

That fake confession was both an attempt to calm her down, and a way to make up for his own regrets, right? All those words he had always wanted to say but never uttered, seemed to come true when spoken to her face.

It's ridiculous. With just one sentence, you can deceive three people at the same time: the dead Jian Xi, the monster Jian Xi, and yourself. How can there be such a despicable person in the world?

But he still wanted to continue being shameless. If he didn't, he would have nothing. As long as he continued to be shameless and lie, he would still have a meal to eat. The monster in front of him would believe him without reservation, just like she had in the past.

"Can I take your words as a request for me to take the initiative?" Jian Xi blinked.

"Think what you want, anyway, you've always been that female bandit." Zhou Nan reached out and gently stroked her cheek.

Jian Xi was startled by his actions, her face flushed red and her eyes widened, but she didn't dodge, because she felt that even though the two of them were already together, why should he, as his girlfriend, dodge? That would make him sad.

So she obediently leaned forward and rested her head on his shoulder. She couldn't quite tell whether Jian Xi wanted to be in a relationship or she wanted to be in a relationship. Anyway, she had inherited everything, so she decided to assume that they both wanted to be in a relationship.

"Can I talk to you about something?" Jian Xi said softly.

"Well, you said."

"You're not allowed to lay a hand on me before I'm an adult." Jian Xi grabbed his collar, her cheeks burning. "Although I believe there's nothing wrong with my body, I'm not sure what will happen with childbirth. Putting aside the fact that it would be terrible if I got pregnant now, more importantly, I don't know what I'll give birth to. Maybe it will be a monster."

Zhou Nan's heart skipped a beat. He hadn't expected that she had thought so far ahead, even planning what the future would hold.

She truly inherited all of Jian Xi's emotions and wanted to devote herself wholeheartedly to it, didn't she? Even this so-called love, which is both absurd and real, was taken into consideration.

But he was lying to her, which made his conscience uneasy.

But so what? She's a monster, isn't she? Just like the old saying goes, a scholar's actions aren't considered stealing, and deceiving a monster isn't considered deceiving either. He did it for world peace. If he could, who wouldn't want to embrace the real Jian Xi instead of choosing this wolf in sheep's clothing?

Thinking this way, his restless heart could be calmed down a bit. He let her rest her head on his shoulder and told himself not to think too much.

"I promise you," Zhou Nan said softly.

"I'll let that thing about the 'Nianyin' tone go this time, since it happened before we officially became a couple," Jian Xi hummed. "Are we still going to the back mountain tomorrow? Let's treat it as our first date, and I'll help you figure out what really happened."

"Okay."

They didn't go home that night. He spent the night embracing her monster, dreaming of every little thing he did with that girl.

He was somewhat intoxicated, somewhat regretful. When he woke up, his face was covered in tears. He felt like a traitor, yet he was also reluctant to leave this moment. The girl in his arms was soft and delicate, her breath on his chest was even and warm, and her hair was soft and smooth, so irresistible to touch.

These are things he never truly possessed. They were together for so many years, yet he never once said "I like you."

Jianxi, if I were to come back to life and reappear in front of you, would you be as despicable as I am?

In the dim light, he stared at the rain outside the window, lost in thought.

(End of this chapter)