Eternal madness

Chapter 16 Matchmaking

He Yunxi wiped her face and said, "How's the thing I asked you to do going? Where are the steamed buns? Did you eat them all yourself?"

"No, I only ate one!" Zhang Laifu handed the remaining two buns to He Yunxi from his pocket.

"You did a good job. I like people like you who keep their word!" He Yunxi didn't mince words, counting out five copper coins and handing them to Zhang Laifu, then asked, "How much is one steamed bun?"

"Three steamed buns and two coins."

He Yunxi gave Zhang Laifu two more coins: "As agreed, the cost of the steamed buns is separate."

Zhang Laifu felt he had given too much and was thinking about how to get change when He Yunxi waved his hand and said, "No need to look anymore. You've been squatting under the bridge; you're obviously short of money."

Zhang Laifu straightened his long gown: "You don't need to laugh at me, aren't you down on your luck too?"

"How have I fallen on hard times?" He Yunxi puffed out her chest. "Which eye of yours saw me as down on my luck?"

"You're in this state and you're still not considered down on your luck? Who beat you up?"

He Yunxi spat and said, "I got beaten up by some ignorant brat."

"Be tough!"

"Stubborn to the end?" He Yunxi washed the blood off her face. "Go ask that brat another day and see who's more seriously injured."

"Where's your bird? Did someone steal it?" Zhang Laifu remembered that Master He always carried a birdcage.

"How could anyone steal it? Let me show you the bird!" He Yunxi reached into his crotch and pulled out a birdcage. Inside the cage was a thrush, its head tilted, staring at He Yunxi with one eye.

He Yunxi took out his pipe from his waist, took a puff, and blew the smoke onto the birdcage.

Amidst the swirling smoke, the thrush twitched its white eyebrows contentedly and let out two calls.

"See? My bird is doing great!" He Yunxi wanted to give Zhang Laifu a proper introduction to the thrush, but Zhang Laifu kept staring at the river.

He was really thirsty.

"Don't drink any raw water. We've already been under the bridge for so long. If you get sick again, you'll die here." Sixth Master He took out a wine pot from his pocket and tossed it to Zhang Laifu. "Drink this."

Zhang Laifu stood there stunned for a moment, holding the wine jug.

Sixth Master He snorted: "What, afraid I'll harm you? You don't have a single penny on you, what would I want from you?"

Zhang Laifu opened the wine pot, took a sip, and a warm current slid from his throat down his esophagus into his stomach.

After returning the wine jug to He Yunxi, Zhang Laifu sat down against the bridge pier.

He Yunxi sat next to Zhang Laifu, both staring blankly at the river.

A song drifted from the other side of the river. Zhang Laifu couldn't understand the lyrics, but he could recognize the melody, which was from the opera "Carmen".

He Yunxi puffed on his pipe and blew smoke toward the opposite bank: "This song came from Mengyelang. It used to be a theater there, and I used to go all the time. Now it's been turned into a theater for foreigners. They don't do anything proper, just have a few foreigners wailing and howling. I can't be bothered to go anymore."

The beggar selling stew chuckled, "You'd better be able to afford to go!"

“Why can’t I afford to go?” He Yunxi took another puff of his pipe. His pipe was magical; it always produced smoke without needing to be lit. “Tomorrow I’ll book the entire Dream Night Corridor. Anyone can come in, but you won’t.”

The beggar scoffed, "You're just bragging. Look at yourself! You went to support a 'Zhu You Ke' doctor just to join in the fun. What kind of people are in that line of work? They're all liars! You really have the nerve to risk your old face."

Zhang Laifu glanced at the beggar and Master He.

These two people should know each other, and they're probably acquaintances.

Zhang Laifu said to the beggar, "That doctor of the Zhuyou School is not a fraud. He has real skills. He can catch ghosts."

"What?!" The beggar burst into laughter, almost choking on his own wits. "You're saying doctors of the Zhu You Ke (a branch of traditional Chinese medicine) can catch ghosts? If doctors of the Zhu You Ke can catch ghosts, even a beggar like me could ascend to heaven!"

"Believe it or not," Zhang Laifu said, too lazy to argue with the beggar, "that man really does have real skills."

Sixth Master He took a sip of his wine and asked Zhang Laifu, "Knowing that man is really capable, why did you still go looking for trouble and challenge him? If I hadn't helped you smooth things over, you wouldn't be leaving today without giving him a proper apology."

Zhang Laifu had also been thinking about this matter: "I only realized he was really capable after I finished finding fault with him. If I see him again in the future, I really should apologize to him." Sixth Master He smiled: "You're right, you should apologize to him. That doctor of incantation medicine is not a fraud."

But the beggar was right; doctors specializing in exorcism can't exorcise ghosts, and beggars can't ascend to heaven either!

As he spoke, Sixth Master He kept looking at the beggar.

The beggar ate his stew, but couldn't help shivering.

He Yunxi glanced at Zhang Laifu again: "You challenged them, and I helped you make a scene. The scene was so lively, why did you leave before you finished watching?"

Zhang Laifu didn't hide anything: "When it's a matter of life and death, who has the mind to watch the excitement?"

He Yunxi was stunned for a moment, then smiled and said, "You're a stubborn person, but being stubborn also has its blessings."

A gust of cold wind blew by, and Zhang Laifu wrapped his long gown tighter around himself.

Sixth Master He handed the wine pot to Zhang Laifu again: "Have another sip."

Zhang Laifu took another sip of wine, and his body felt much warmer.

He had half a steamed bun left, which he ate along with the wine.

He Yunxi shouted at the beggar, "Give me a bite of your food too."

The beggar, clutching his pot, stood with his back to the two men, shouting, "I won't give it to you!"

Master He frowned and said, "I won't eat yours. Give this young man a bite."

"Then I definitely won't give it to you!" The beggar looked at Zhang Laifu. "You're so young, why don't you find a way to make a living?"

"What kind of business are you looking for?" Sixth Master He put the birdcage aside and wrapped his tattered clothes around it. "Business isn't easy to find, and even if you find it, it's not easy to do. If you have food to eat, then eat; if you have a place to sleep, then sleep. Why think so far ahead?"

He Yunxi leaned against the bridge pier, humming the lyrics of the opera "Si Lang Visits His Mother" indistinctly.

Zhang Laifu watched the increasingly blurry shimmering water and listened to the opera that seemed to come from near and far, and then fell asleep.

He didn't know how long he had slept when he suddenly heard He Yunxi's voice.

"You little brat, are you going to hit me or not?"

Zhang Laifu was startled. What do you mean, "fight"? Who is he talking to?

"You're in this state, if I were to hit you now, I'd be bullying you."

The one speaking was the beggar.

"You stinking beggar, shut up! I'm here now, so if you're going to fight, do it now. We're not sure who'll get the better of you yet!"

"Sixth Master He, I really can't bring myself to do it. That steamed bun seller already crippled you."

"That steamed bun seller is practically dead. He won't be able to get out of work for the next two years. You come over here and see if you can take a beating."

Which shop sells steamed buns?

The air is all out?
What deep-seated hatred could there be?
The beggar said, "How did you find the steamed bun seller? Don't you two have a rule that you can't meet directly? Someone has to act as a go-between."

Sixth Master He looked at Zhang Laifu: "This silly boy is the one who made the connection. Let me tell you first, you can fight with me, but you're not allowed to fight him. He did me a favor today, and he succeeded."

"Whatever happens to him tomorrow is none of my business, but no one is allowed to touch him today!"

what's the situation?
Did I act as a matchmaker?

I just bought him two steamed buns.

Didn't he want to buy steamed buns? Why did he end up hitting the steamed bun seller?
Zhang Laifu tried to open his eyes to see, but the effects of the alcohol suddenly hit him, and he fell asleep again.

The evening breeze was cool, and Zhang Laifu slept soundly.

(End of this chapter)