Night Journey

Chapter 136 Fantasy Life
Ciri leaned against the wall, staring blankly into the narrow alley.

As the golden sunset descended at the end of the alley, it acted like a viewfinder, shaping the passersby into a series of warm and inviting scenes.

He stood there in a daze for a while until someone pushed open the door.

"What are you doing here? I've been looking for you for ages."

Dailin came out, still holding a wine glass in his hand, carrying the lingering joy of the occasion.

Ignoring the wet steps, he plopped down at Cillian's feet and lit a cigarette.

You don't look well, what's wrong?

"It's alright, just a little...melancholy?"

Cillian wasn't quite sure of his feelings; if he could, he wouldn't have stood there in a daze for so long.

With an air of someone who's been there, Dai Lin said, "Oh, is it because you feel... the world has become somewhat unfamiliar, and you know nothing about it?"

Cillian thought about it carefully and then answered.

"Maybe, maybe a little."

That would be terrible.

Dailin drank and smoked, puffing out clouds of smoke, and mimicking Cillian's phrases, making a witty remark.

"Your current state is like that of an ascetic who has just whipped himself with a thorn and suddenly realizes that he will have to do that every day for the rest of his life."

Cillian's lips twitched slightly, then fell silent again.

Dai Lin's tone suddenly became serious, and he said in a very earnest tone.

Are you feeling lost, Cillian?

"possible."

"That's absolutely right."

Cillian didn't understand why Daelin was so certain.

"why?"

"A clear-headed person will give a definite answer; only a confused person will be vague."

Cillian looked at Daelin with slight surprise; at this moment, Daelin was as rational as a wise man.

He continued speaking.

"From my personal perspective, when a person feels lost, the problem lies in the fact that he doesn't know who he is and can't find his place in this world."

Dailin glanced back at the door of the Ink House. "So he was ostracized by the world, like a hapless guy being ignored at a party."

"Location? I know very well where I am in this world."

Cillian emphasized, "A serial killer with a screw loose, don't you think that's cool?"

"A serial killer?"

Dai Lin gave a cold laugh.

Cillian wondered if he had misheard. Ever since he committed his first bloody crime after leaving White Cliff Town, everyone had been terrified by their own atrocities, but Dalin seemed completely indifferent.

Without looking up, Dai Lin asked.

"Cillian, would you kill an ordinary person for no reason?"

"will not."

"Would you kill a good person?"

"Never again."

"So what kind of person would become your target?"

“The most heinous criminals.”

Dailin slapped his thigh hard and shouted, "See? You still dare to call yourself a serial killer?"

Cillian did not understand his reaction.

"Please, Cillian, real serial killers don't care whether they're ordinary people or superhumans, good people or bad people. They just follow their bloodthirsty nature and indiscriminately commit murder."

Dalin interrupted the conversation, introducing a new issue: "Let's put the killer thing aside for now, let's move on to a new problem."

Cillian gradually became interested and sat down with Daelin on the wet steps.

"go ahead."

"So……"

Dalin pretended to be deep in thought and asked, "What are you going to do after you've killed all of Hel's enemies?"

Cillian's answer was concise and to the point.

"Leave here and kill those enemies who are not in Hel City and are still at large."

"What happens after you've vented all your anger and killed all your enemies?"

Cillian hesitated for a moment; at some point in the past, he had also considered this matter.

There is no answer.

"I haven't thought much about what will happen after I get my revenge."

Why didn't you think of that?

"Maybe……"

Cillian looked up; the golden sky was gradually turning dusky, and night was about to fall.

"Perhaps, subconsciously I believe that I will most likely die on the road to revenge."

He said casually, "Among my enemies is a truly wicked creature. No matter how confident or angry you are, you'd feel uneasy facing such a being." "And what if you win?"

Dai Lin envisioned such a future: "You will advance triumphantly, and in a few years you will reach the end of your life, succeeding the explorer and becoming the new master of the torch, and then tear that evil thing to pieces."

"Doesn't that sound a bit too crazy?"

Daelin casually uttered something that Cillian could never even dream of, and though it was a hypothetical scenario, his tone was so certain that it was as if he had witnessed such a future.

"What if?"

Dai Lin placed his wine glass on the steps. "There's always a chance of something going wrong. It's better to have some hope than no hope at all."

He asked again.

"So, what do you plan to do after you kill that monster?"

"I do not know."

Cillian shook his head helplessly, and even felt a bit ashamed when he said "I don't know".

“I understand you, Cillian, really.”

Dalin put his hand on Cillian's shoulder, just like a good brother.

“After witnessing my mother’s death, I was confused for a long time. It was during that time that I gradually realized that it was the resentment of the past that supported my life.”

Now, all resentment vanished with my mother's departure, leaving my heart empty. The once-solid fortress crumbled into ruins.

Dai Lin began to mutter to himself.

"How should a person live, and how should they die?"

No one answered.

The two remained in a subtle silence, with only faint laughter emanating from the ink-stained room.

"Yes, I spent a long time in this quiet silence until one day I started to think about something."

Dalin turned to look at Cillian beside him, gazing into his grey-blue eyes.

"Cillian, what caused all this tragedy?"

He accused.

"Was it my mother's tragic fate, or my father whose identity I still don't know, or that city-state on the verge of destruction, or even this terrible era of isolated city-states?"

Dai Lin exhaled a puff of smoke, his voice becoming distant and ethereal.

"I thought about it for a very long time, and after constantly tracing back to the source, I realized that what caused all this tragedy was the rampant chaos, the endless catastrophe that broke out several eras ago."

He gradually became agitated, clenching his fists as if he were about to fight an unseen enemy.

"Think about it, Cillian, if the Dayless Catastrophe hadn't occurred, we might have lived completely different lives."

I will have a happy family, growing up surrounded by the love and care of my parents. Anya is the daughter of a nobleman, practicing dance in a magnificent palace, and you... won't have to leave your home.

Words, like a swung pickaxe, chipped a piece of Cirion's heart of stone.

"That possibility is just too wonderful; just thinking about it makes me happy."

So every night before falling asleep, I would fantasize about replacing the shadows of my childhood with light, transforming all the tragedies into happiness, making up for all the regrets, and bringing everyone perfect fulfillment.

Like a creator, night after night, gradually, the world I imagined became more and more complete, more and more real, more and more concrete…

Dai Lin slowly loosened his fist, wearily drank the rest of the wine in his glass, and lay flat on the steps as if he had been knocked down, looking up at the sky.

"I don't remember the exact date, but I just realized as if waking from a dream that no matter how perfectly I constructed that fantasy world, it was ultimately just a fantasy, not reality."

He joked, "Sometimes the downside of being too clear-headed is that you don't even have the right to drown in your fantasies."

Cillian opened his dry lips and asked.

"Then?"

"I stopped fantasizing and resigned myself to reality. My life was bleak until I gradually fell in love with Anya."

Dai Lin couldn't help but smile whenever Anya was mentioned.

"Love is truly wondrous. I've started daydreaming again, adding Anya into my dream world. She will become a child, a princess, and a queen in this world."

But when I stepped back into the dream world, I realized I had been gone for far too long; it had long since withered and decayed, reduced to ruins.

Dailin's breathing became heavy, like that of an enraged bull.

"At first I felt sadness and disorientation, and then I felt an uncontrollable anger. It was at this moment that I suddenly understood the explorers."

He started cursing, gritting his teeth.

"You must have heard what those bastards have to say. They berate the explorers, claiming that the existing land is enough for human habitation and that he should hold onto the existing civilized world instead of launching a twelfth expedition."

Some conspiracy theorists say that the conquerors were completely corrupted by a ridiculous messianic spirit, blinded by the so-called glory and honor of humanity, and turned into war madmen..."

Suddenly, the engine stalled.

"But I think the original intention of the explorer might not be so complicated. Maybe he was motivated by a similar reason to me?"
Yes, that's right. You must have had this experience before, right, tracing and exploring?

You suffered hardship and setbacks, and in despair and confusion, you fantasized about the possibility of another beautiful life, until cold reality awoke you from your dream. Tracing back further, you discovered your true enemy…

Dalyn did not reveal the name of the real culprit, but Cillian already knew it.

It is a calamity without daylight, a chaotic evil.

“Unlike me, I clenched my fists and could only fight against the air, while the Conquerors gathered their legions and launched one expedition after another.”

Dailin was daydreaming.

"Perhaps, for the explorer, saving the civilized world was just a side effect. What he really wanted to do was to avenge his own fantasy life."

(End of this chapter)