I was acting crazy in North America, and all the crazy people there took it seriously.

Chapter 69 America's Heroic Ranking (Please subscribe and vote with monthly tickets)
Living in a magical city, every day is full of unexpected "surprises".

A typical day in the life of an average Chicago worker looks like this:

In the early morning, while chewing on the fried bacon and eggs made by his wife, he would open the Chicago Sun-Times to see what new tricks this crazy world had come up with.

During lunch break at the factory, my coworkers and I would chat animatedly about all sorts of strange and interesting stories we'd read in the newspapers.

After get off work in the evening, without fail, I would sneak into the nearby unspoken underground bar, have a glass of strong whiskey, and chat with acquaintances amidst the smoke and noise, exchanging all sorts of true and false urban legends.

This morning was no exception.

Mr. Smith, an ordinary Chicago resident, wiped the grease from his mouth and opened the still-smelling newspaper, The Sun.

The Sun has now become a must-read newspaper for Chicagoans.

Of course, if you have children at home, it's best to avoid reading it, as this tabloid contains a lot of content that is not suitable for children.

The social section, the international news section… well, the British and American navies have ended their standoff, politicians are still arguing, everything seems normal. Just as he was about to close the newspaper, his eyes caught sight of a newly added page, the font flashy and somewhat mysterious:

"America's Heroes Ranking"

"Huh? What's this new gadget?" He read on curiously.

The opening remarks were written in a grand and dignified manner, roughly meaning that: on this free land of America, many extraordinary people have emerged in all walks of life.

This list, created in response to popular demand, focuses on contemporary heroes who have achieved remarkable success in "unconventional" and "gray" fields. It features one or two outstanding figures each month, aiming to "record alternative legends and showcase extraordinary lives."

This issue proudly introduces two "heroes of the era," codenamed "Lucky Baron" and "Director."

Lucky Baron

Brief Introduction: A reformer and master of operation planning in the world of robbery. Taciturn, with a mind as meticulous as a clockwork, his action plans are works of art.

Recent Achievements: In Montreal, Canada, he led and participated in a strategic asset transfer operation for a bank. With astonishing efficiency and near-flawless execution, he broke industry records and is considered a "master who revolutionized the technology of strategic asset transfer for banks."

A hero's declaration: "Heroes rise and fall with the times!"
Commentary: "The Baron proved with his actions that robbery is no longer a low-IQ crime, but a precise art."

[Director]

Profile: A rising star with astonishing insight. Possesses exceptional learning abilities, adept at capturing crucial details in complex situations, and demonstrates outstanding intelligence analysis skills.

Recent achievements: As the partner of "Lucky Baron", he played a crucial role in the Montreal operation, and his calm performance and efficient learning ability were amazing.

The hero's declaration: "I don't like fame, really. I am just a lowly public instrument of the underworld, a vessel for the Baron's thoughtful fruits."

Commentary: "The emergence of the bureau chief indicates that a new generation of 'heroes' is rising in a more professional, intelligent, and perhaps more shy and humble way."

The article describes in great detail and with a legendary flair how these two "heroes" successfully completed a "strategic asset transfer" to a bank in Montreal, Canada, with "unprecedentedly meticulous planning, calm and efficient teamwork, and an elegant and composed style of action."

Mr. Smith stared in disbelief, forgetting to chew the bacon in his mouth.

"Wow! This story is actually quite convincing! It's rich in detail and the characters are very appealing."

"The Sun is now even serializing gangster novels? And making a ranking list? They're getting more and more creative."

On the one hand, I couldn't help but complain: "Robbing a bank is robbing a bank, why make it sound so sophisticated! 'Strategic asset transfer,' and 'innovative bank-robbing technology'? These editors are really getting more and more outrageous!"

He smiled, shook his head, folded the newspaper, and went to work.

At the factory at noon, he and his coworkers joked about the "Heroes List," speculating whether the next issue would feature stories about the "King of Moonshining Wine" or the "Queen of Casinos."

However, when he entered that familiar underground bar that evening, he felt an unusually lively atmosphere.

The bartender stood on the bar, banging his glass and loudly announcing, "Ladies and gentlemen! Quiet! Quiet! I have some great news to share! Tonight, all the drinks are on the table for the newly crowned 'Heroes of the Night' gentlemen, the 'Lucky Baron' and the 'Chief'! Drink up! To our heroes!"

In an instant, the entire bar erupted in cheers! The shouts, whistles, and clinking of glasses nearly lifted the roof off!
Free drinks! And it's all on the house from a mysterious "hero"!
This is so cool!

"Long live the Baron!"

"The director is awesome!" "That's so kind of you!"

Mr. Smith was also so shocked that his mouth dropped open. He suddenly remembered the article in the newspaper that morning, and he almost dropped his wine glass.

That's not a made-up story! It's actually true?!
The Sun actually had firsthand information on those robbers?! And they even published a ranking of them?!

That's fucking amazing!

Fueled by alcohol and the free revelry, the people in the bar were filled with awe at the Sun's incredible abilities and audacity, exclaiming "Awesome!"

At the same time, he was filled with admiration for the two "heroes" he had never met before—of course, they had spent real money to buy him drinks, how could he not say something nice?

In an instant, the names of "Lucky Baron" and "Director" echoed throughout every corner of the bar, accompanied by the clinking of glasses.

Similar scenes are playing out in bars run by the Irish gang in Chicago.

The fame of the "Heroes' Ranking" and the two newly crowned "Heroes," fueled by alcohol and the thrill of freebies, spread throughout the entire underground world of Wind City overnight.

Mr. Smith, feeling dizzy, drank the free wine, feeling as if his worldview had been refreshed once again.

Chicago, indeed, there's nothing you can't imagine that won't happen there.

But being a Chicagoan is truly wonderful!
Meanwhile, it wasn't until the Montreal police officially contacted the Sun newspaper, requesting their "cooperation with the investigation and provision of detailed information about the perpetrators" that other American media and the public belatedly realized what was happening.

Holy crap! The Sun has taken this stunt to a whole new level!
"America's Heroes Ranking"?
Are you guys courting death, or are you courting death?

In response to the demands of the Canadian police, the editorial department of The Sun issued a dismissive statement, saying that the information in the "Heroes of the Year" list was all submitted by readers and the newspaper only verified the information. They also stated that "protecting news sources is the sacred duty of the media" and firmly rejected the demands of the Canadian police.

Following this, during prime time on Voice of Freedom radio, the "America Heroes Ranking" was also broadcast, with a formal explanation:

"The 'Heroes' List' is not for the benefit of the most heinous criminals! Our selection criteria are extremely strict. Only those heroes who possess both extraordinary skills and morality, who act with integrity and righteousness, and who have unique 'acts of righteousness' are qualified to be included on the list!"

"For example, the Lucky Baron and the Chief donated half of the proceeds from the Montreal operation to the people of Chicago to drink, cough cough, to thank them for their hospitality."

"We believe that the public has the right to know how the world works! Therefore, this newspaper and station will continue to uphold the principles of fairness, openness, and impartiality to create this authoritative list!"

"At the same time, we welcome more heroes hidden among the common people to nominate themselves for the list! Send your legendary stories to our newspaper! The next world-renowned figure could be you!"

……

Inside a safe house somewhere in Chicago, Edgar Hoover, his lips twitching uncontrollably, snapped the radio off the table.

He's so stupid, really.

He actually believed the gang leader's words.

Encouraged by Donald's enthusiasm, Tom agreed to "debut," not only giving himself the title of "Lucky Baron" but also casually giving him the title of "Chief."

—It is said that when he is serious, he resembles a police chief from Tom's hometown.

But Hoover absolutely refused to be on any "Heroes' List," so he declined, saying that he "didn't like being famous and was just a lowly public instrument of the underworld."

Donald initially expressed his understanding, but upon turning around, well, he was still listed on the list, and his words became his "heroic declaration"!
Now, all of Chicago, and even the whole of America, knows about this bank robber called "The Chief"!
He can't even imagine how he'll be able to continue working in law enforcement!

What will people think of him when his undercover identity is exposed? "Oh, the bureau chief who robbed a bank and made the newspapers?"

That damn Tom!
I swear, Arkham!

My damn Sun newspaper!

I can't believe the devil came up with this piece of crap, this "Heroes' List"!

"I won't let you go!"

……

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(End of this chapter)