I was acting crazy in North America, and all the crazy people there took it seriously.

Chapter 113 The Chicago Sun Is Too Bright

When news of heavy machine guns appearing in a New York gang shootout was confirmed, the city, which prides itself on being the world's capital, seemed to have been struck by an earthquake.

The New York media, in particular, were filled with anger mixed with even stronger anger.

Heavy firefights might be fun for them elsewhere, but when they happen right next to them, it's an absolutely intolerable disaster.

"Our city is being taken over by the war machine!"

"The greatest city is being dragged into a dark age by gangsters!"

"We're the law enforcement department that only handles cuteness..."

Although the gangs' heavy firepower wasn't aimed at law enforcement, it wasn't because the gangs were kind-hearted, but simply because law enforcement was so incompetent that using heavy firepower against them would be a waste of resources!
—Now everyone knows that the two gangs that were fighting were fighting over "alcohol," and the Prohibition Bureau's enforcement team was so frightened by the heavy firepower of one of the gangs that they ran away with their backsides sticking out without firing a single shot!

Oh, and the police department too. At least the Prohibition Bureau's "elites" showed up at the scene, while the NYPD performed "invisible art"—despite the deafening gunfire, they acted as if nothing had happened.

How can people feel safe being protected by a law enforcement agency that has reached new heights of incompetence?
Not to mention that the threat came from a heavy machine gun, a weapon of war!
When did heavy weapons become as common as cabbage?
Yes, they all know that the Chicago gangs used to even have cannons, but weren't they all disarmed?
Besides, Chicago is Chicago, and New York is New York. How can they be the same?

New York is the heart of capitalism and should be the safest place in the world!
Yes, the New York Harbor explosion was an accident, and accidents are something that can only happen once.

This is absolutely intolerable!

If we keep tolerating this, will gangsters start collecting protection money with heavy machine guns in the future?
Will gangs start using heavy machine guns, cannons, and tanks to fight over territory in the future, resulting in trench warfare?

Hmm, now that I think about it, it's actually quite reasonable for the New York police to pretend they don't exist?

Pah! What a load of rubbish!

This is unreasonable, the whole world is unreasonable!
In short, the shock that the New York media and the public are experiencing right now is the kind that even saving a hundred small animals wouldn't be enough to calm them down.

Yes, that's not good. People have just recovered from the touching moment of rescuing the animals, and we shouldn't immediately switch to "horror movie" mode. It's bad for their heart health.

So The Sun kindly offered some words of comfort.
"The fact that Chicago gangs used to have heavy machine guns and even cannons shows that it's not impossible for gangs to possess heavy firepower!"

"Don't be too surprised, you'll get used to it after a few times!"

Habit my ass!
Damn, your attempt at comforting me is worse than nothing, it's even scarier!

But The Sun immediately followed up with, "No, we're serious. You East Coast folks might really need to get used to this kind of thing!"
"Why do we say that people on the East Coast are living in misery? This isn't a rhetorical device. It's a comparison with Chicago."

The Sun then devoted two full pages to showcasing a completely different scenario—the Chicago model.

"Amid the nationwide racial unrest sparked by the wildfires, Chicago was the only major city that did not experience violence!" This was not because the police were effective—in fact, the Chicago police were just as incompetent as their counterparts across the country—but because the Chicago Mafia and the Irish Gang took the initiative to maintain order!
"While blacks and whites are hating each other in other parts of the country," The Sun wrote, "Chicago gang members did something amazing: they opened their liquor cellars (scratch that), opened their beverage storage, and invited their black buddies to drink to their hearts' content!"

They brought out the widow of the stabbed Black police officer, Sanders, to persuade the Black community that "Officer Sanders wouldn't want you to perpetuate hatred either."
They spoke from their own experience, saying that we Italians and Irish people were considered inferior whites, worse than dogs, so "we feel your sadness and pain."
But this is the city we all live in, so why don't we have a drink, forget our grudges, and tomorrow will be a new day?

Of course, what The Sun didn't mention was that Chicago's mob bosses also assured leaders of the Black community that the white scum who assassinated Sanders would receive "happy heavenly care" in prison!
Meanwhile, Chicago gangs also arrested and threw into private jails those extreme white extremists who wanted to spread the idea that "blacks are guilty" or "blacks use black magic to kill whites," making them "repent" by working on sewing machines!
After a series of combined punches, you know what, it sounds outrageous, but it works.

With free alcohol to drink, even though the drunken Black people cried and laughed like madmen, they became mentally stable after sobering up, making them the most well-behaved Black group in the United States.

As a result, while the rest of the United States was in chaos, Chicago remained a picture of tranquility!

Jazz music continued to play as usual, bootlegging continued to circulate, and people of different races lived in peace.

“In Chicago, we saw a unique harmony—perhaps not perfect, but certainly effective.”

The Sun made no attempt to hide its point.

"This harmony is based on the relaxation of some of Chicago's 'oppressive policies'."

(All Americans scoff: You call that relaxation? You're treating Prohibition like it doesn't exist!)
"Yes, we know that the Prohibition Bureau has always called Chicago a completely decadent city, a dark city."

"But the heavy firepower isn't coming from Chicago now! There aren't even any regular gunfights in Chicago anymore. What is this? This is a miracle of American social governance!"

"According to our statistics, during the spread of the wildfires in the central region, there were no fewer than 100 gang fights along the entire East Coast, with casualties comparable to those in a city hit by the fires."

"And currently, it seems that with the addition of heavy firepower to the battlefield, the rate at which lives are being taken is accelerating!"

"People of the East Coast, far removed from the 'darkness,' you must get used to coexisting with heavily armed gangs, and with the most efficient war machine ever created by humankind!"

The article concludes with a thought-provoking question:
"Even if we take a step back and say that Chicago is the 'Dark City' that the Prohibition Bureau talks about, then..."

"But in such a dark city, the Sun newspaper, with its pure, benevolent, selfless, radiant, and all-encompassing spirit, was born! Isn't this a testament to Chicago's institutional advantages?"

"..."

Honestly, even Chicago readers, after reading this issue of The Sun, while proudly puffing out their chests, couldn't help but instinctively hold it further away.

The Chicago sun is so bright and dazzling that it's impossible to look directly at it!

……

(End of this chapter)