Martial Arts Crossover: My Wife is the Top Scholar

Chapter 160 Li Xunhuan: Is it too late to disfigure myself now?
"Domineering and cheating! Seeking death!"

Li Zhaoting's face turned pale and then purple. He spat at the corpse of the Five Poison Child and said, "Damn it! I thought I was safe and sound, but why did you jump out?"
From an assassination standpoint, the Five Poison Child's intimidation level is no less than that of top assassins like Zhongyuan Yidianhong and Yijian Piaohong, and his fearsome reputation is even greater.

The fact that he was assassinated by assassins like Yidianhong, Yijian Piaohong, and Sima Xue is ultimately traceable. These assassins were all swordsmen who advocated fair and square duels.

The Five Poison Boys are skilled at poisoning and adept at using combinations of poisons. They can kill people without them even realizing it, simply by poisoning them with a cup of water or a bowl of rice. It is truly impossible to guard against them.

What's most terrifying is that this guy is skilled at controlling beasts and can command poisonous insects and beasts to launch attacks. The Five Poison Child is the leader of the "Paradise Cave" among the thirty-six caves of Miao territory. He is proficient in Miao poison techniques. If Lan Fenghuang hadn't been there, the Five Poison Child could have poisoned half of the guards in the royal palace. When Lan Fenghuang faced the Five Poison Child, she was somewhat wary.

To deal with the Five Poison Boys, you must use "ranged attacks".

Do not have any contact with him whatsoever.

Even slight contact could lead to poisoning.

Li Zhaoting turned and left, and the Blissful Insects, carefully cultivated by the Five Poison Child, scurried toward his corpse, gnawing at his flesh and blood and absorbing his poisonous blood.

Before long, the corpse of the Five Poison Child was completely devoured by the Bliss Insects, which then exploded and turned to ashes like snowflakes meeting the morning sun.

The first round of assassinations has ended.

The Five Poisons Child was neither hired nor had any ulterior motives. If one had to find a reason for the Five Poisons Child's assassination attempt, it would most likely be jealousy.

"Jealous? Why are you jealous of me? If you're jealous of my handsome looks, why aren't you jealous of Li Zhaoting? If you're jealous of my tall stature, why aren't you jealous of Xiao Feng?"

Li Xunhuan couldn't understand the logic of the Five Poison Boy.

Even mentally ill people have their own worldview!
There are also basic rules to follow regarding "jealousy".

Li Zhaoting is handsome and dashing, Duan Yu comes from a wealthy family, Xiao Feng is tall and mighty, Duan Zhengchun is surrounded by beauties, and the Five Poisons Child is jealous of someone. No matter how you rank them, Li Xunhuan will never be on the list, and the two have never crossed paths.

Xiao Feng downed half a pot of wine, cleared his throat, and looked conflicted. After pondering for the time it takes for an incense stick to burn, he finally made a decision and revealed a secret about the black market.

Xiao Feng has always been upright, straightforward, and decisive. The fact that this secret could cause him such distress must be absolutely astonishing.

"Ahem~ Brother Li, some time ago, a secret came from the Beggars' Sect. This secret is related to you. The assassination attempt by the Five Poison Child may really be due to jealousy."

Xiao Feng racked his brains to figure out the structure of the language, using rambling words to pique everyone's interest.

Li Zhaoting was very interested in this.

It's hard to imagine what secret in the world could make Xiao Feng look like he'd been constipated for ten days. Even when Xiao Yuanshan took off his mask, it didn't shock Xiao Feng like this.

Could it be...

Li Zhaoting had a disgusting suspicion in his mind.

Given Xiao Feng's personality, it would indeed be difficult for him to say such a thing. If he did, everyone present would be disgusted, and Li Xunhuan might suffer a fate worse than death.

Li Zhaoting advised, "Xunhuan, I suggest you don't listen to this secret; the matter is very serious."

Now that things have come to this point, there's no way I can keep quiet.

Even if the heavens and earth collapse, the universe turns upside down, and Thanos invades Earth, Li Xunhuan will still get the answer.

Xiao Feng took three deep breaths, using his twenty-odd years of internal martial arts skills to lower his voice and make his tone even: "The Beggars' Sect brothers told me that the Great Joyful Bodhisattva is quite fond of Brother Li..."

Everyone: (!!!-ω-)-ω-)-ω-)
Li Xunhuan:!!!∑(Дノ)ノ

Xiao Feng, having gone all out, continued to explain: "The Great Joyful Bodhisattva loves to keep male concubines, especially young and handsome scholars and young knights-errant."

When the results of the imperial examinations were announced, the handsome appearance of the third-ranked scholar became known throughout the land, and his unparalleled charm captivated everyone.

The Bodhisattva of Great Joy has fallen for you. She has put up a bounty on the black market: bring the top scholar to the Palace of Great Joy and you will receive 50,000 taels of gold.

The Five Poison Boy is the adopted son of the Great Joyful Bodhisattva. Due to his small stature, he has a somewhat twisted mind and seems to have some... something about the Great Joyful Bodhisattva...

Xiao Feng simply couldn't continue speaking.

He would rather fight the world's number one martial arts master than tell such rubbish in front of so many people, his face turning red with embarrassment.

Lan Fenghuang exclaimed in surprise, "This doesn't make sense! As the third-ranked scholar in the imperial examination, Li Xunhuan is under the watchful eyes of the court and the public. Kidnapping Li Xunhuan is like slapping the court in the face. He may have the life to make money, but he won't have the life to enjoy it!"

Xiao Feng explained, "Sister-in-law, you are mistaken. Since ancient times, people have died for wealth and birds have died for food. The Jianghu is never short of desperate people who are blinded by greed. As long as you give them money, they would dare to rush up even to assassinate the emperor."

"Even if someone dares to make money, can the Great Joy Palace withstand the Four Great Constables coming to its door? Even if the Great Joyful Bodhisattva is made of bronze and iron, she can't withstand it, can she?"

"Sister-in-law, you may not know this, but the Great Joyful Bodhisattva has had a large frame and an extremely obese body since childhood. Her weight is equivalent to three Tang Zhuquan, and her heart is extremely twisted."

The Great Joyful Female Bodhisattva is mad and arrogant, acting recklessly and without restraint. She cannot be treated as a normal person; she lacks the calculation, weighing, and choices of a normal human being.

She's willing to do anything she sets her mind to!
Anyway, she has nothing she can't lose!

Xiao Feng sighed deeply.

The Great Joyful Female Bodhisattva and the Blissful Child are both people born with unusual appearances, either as fat as a pig or as thin as a monkey, and they have all suffered countless scornful looks since childhood.

Judging people by their appearance is human nature.

There aren't that many truly virtuous people in the world.

In this world where martial arts flourish, many people have unusual appearances due to the influence of the primordial energy of heaven and earth.

For example: the twelve constellations, the three hairs of Emei, the Great Joyful Bodhisattva, the Five Poison Boys...

Even the Huashan Sect Leader, Abbess Kumei, had her appearance severely damaged due to numerous life-or-death battles with powerful enemies in her youth, making her appear cold and austere at first glance.

Such people often have psychological problems.

Especially the Great Joyful Female Bodhisattva, Xiao Feng's last comment was very accurate. The reason why the Great Joyful Female Bodhisattva was so unscrupulous was because she didn't care about anything. Family and friendship were gone from birth.

What's so scary about a worthless life?

Li Xunhuan: ┓(`)┏

This is a completely undeserved disaster!
Is it wrong to be handsome?
No one could answer Li Xunhuan's question.

Because no one can reason with a madman.

If Li Zhaoting, Duan Yu, and Xiao Feng were to try to reason with the Great Joyful Bodhisattva, they would likely all be targeted, leading to a direct confrontation and a massive battle comparable to the Marineford War, with two top masters besieging four emperors.

Lan Fenghuang asked curiously, "Brother Xiao, is the Great Joyful Bodhisattva jealous of beautiful women? If the Great Joyful Bodhisattva catches me, will she ruin my face?"

Xiao Feng shook his head firmly: "The Great Joyful Bodhisattva would never scratch anyone's face. In her mind, your sister-in-law is as thin as a rake, the ugliest face in the world. She will help you become beautiful."

"How to change?"

Blue Phoenix's eyes lit up, showing great interest.

Xiao Feng gave up and recklessly acted.

Since things have come to this point, there's nothing that can't be said.

“From the moment you were caught, your daily meals consisted of rice mixed with sugar and lard, and your side dish was fatty fried chicken. In two or three months at most, you could gain 30 or 40 pounds.”

Before Xiao Feng could finish speaking, Lan Fenghuang rushed out of the room and vomited violently, making herself dizzy and disoriented. She had originally planned to make chicken noodle soup the next morning, but now the mere thought of chicken made her want to vomit, especially fried chicken. Li Zhaoting and Li Xunhuan knew almost nothing about the anecdotes surrounding the Great Joyful Bodhisattva. Xiao Feng, who had been the leader of the Beggars' Sect for eight years, had heard dozens, even hundreds, of completely different versions of the story told by the beggars during their boasting.

These rumors are not all just hearsay.

There really was a female knight-errant from a prestigious family who was captured, fed until she weighed 300 pounds, and had her mind forcibly twisted to become a disciple of the Great Joy Palace, serving as its chief protector.

Li Zhaoting rubbed his chin: "I think there's something wrong with this assassination attempt. The Five Poisons Child is skilled at controlling beasts, but I've never heard of him needing the help of a red lantern to control poisonous insects."

Is there a problem with the red lanterns?

"Because lanterns are too conspicuous, especially red lanterns in the dead of night, which are like giving directions. I remember that the master who liked to use red lanterns as a mark the most was Sha Qiandeng of the Power Gang, nicknamed Flying Knife Wolf Demon."

"Hitmen from the Power Gang have arrived?"

"Some of them came, but we didn't dare send them all. If we angered Dali, the high monks of Tianlong Temple would swarm in. Even if they didn't wipe out the Power Gang, they could at least severely damage them."

"These troublemakers!"

Xiao Feng slammed his hand on the table.

All those who have served as sect leaders, elders, gang leaders, or cult leaders in the martial arts world dislike the Power Gang.

Even without a conflict of interest, people are wary of the power faction, which likes to use undercover agents and will send out a few at the most unexpected moments.

An elder who had worked diligently for the sect for decades suddenly drew his sword and stabbed the sect leader in the back, revealing that he was an undercover agent.

The guardian elder who had guarded the mountain gate for decades killed the sect leader with a single sword strike. Then, he removed his disguise mask and discovered that it was Liu Suifeng in disguise. The sect leader died with resentment in his heart.

The old servant who swept the floor for three years and the old cook who cooked for more than ten years could both be undercover agents.

Many inner sect elders and core disciples who seemed impossible to bribe and had no reason to betray had long been bribed by Liu Suifeng and were ready to betray him at any time.

What's most baffling is that the undercover agent bribed by Liu Suifeng is exceptionally loyal to the Power Gang.

They would risk their lives to carry out assassinations.

In the original storyline, the Power Gang used this method to wipe out a number of Shaolin and Wudang masters. They didn't have many direct combat achievements, but they were always successful in sneak attacks and assassinations.

Heaven's way is easy to reincarnate, no one will be spared by heaven.

Those who like to use undercover agents will ultimately die because of them.

This statement applies neither to nor to those in power.

Applicable. Liu Suifeng died at the hands of an undercover agent, and with Liu Suifeng's death, the Power Gang completely declined.

Not applicable. The Power Gang has nearly a hundred named managers, and the number of those who betrayed them is less than a handful. In terms of loyalty to the sect, the Power Gang's managers far surpass those of gangs like the Golden Wind and Drizzle Pavilion and the Six and a Half Hall.

The Power Gang is known in the underworld as the "most evil Power Gang," which shows how universally hated they are.

For martial arts practitioners, being killed head-on by a powerful enemy with both fists is considered a heroic death. Most of them can die in peace, having been outmatched in skill and having nothing to say.

How many people can bear being assassinated by an undercover agent, ambushed by a killer, or betrayed by the person they trust most?

Duan Yu also had no good feelings towards the Power Clique.

In recent months, Duan Yu has been learning how to be a crown prince under the tutelage of Duan Zhengming. He reviews memorials daily, many of which contain information about the evil deeds of the power faction.

"Flying Knife Wolf Demon" Sha Qiandeng did not make a move.

With the Five Poison Child killed, the night has returned to quiet. However, everyone knows that the quiet is only temporary, and assassinations will continue.

Everyone went back to their rooms to rest. Lan Fenghuang was so frightened by the Great Joyful Bodhisattva that she couldn't sleep. She hugged Li Zhaoting and asked him to coax her to sleep.

For Lan Fenghuang, even the most brutal tortures like slow slicing and being subjected to a pit of scorpions were nothing to fear. But if she were fed into a fat pig and her heart twisted so that she genuinely wanted to be a super fat pig, Lan Fenghuang would rather die and guide the poisonous energy into her internal organs.

Poisonous essence is not true vital energy or blood. Neither sealing acupoints nor cutting blood vessels can stop the spread of poisonous essence. When a master of poisons is determined to die, no one can stop the spread of poisonous essence.

"Brother Li, I'm so scared~~"

"Don't be afraid, don't be afraid, I'm here!"

"I don't want to become a big fat pig!"

"No, no, my phoenix is ​​stunningly beautiful, how could she possibly turn into a fat pig? Sleep peacefully, I'll be here watching over you and protecting your safety."

"Brother Li, you're so kind~~"

Lan Fenghuang mumbled a few words in her sleep and barely managed to fall asleep.

Li Zhaoting worked as a gatekeeper, guarding Lan Fenghuang, while Xiao Feng was also left with no peace, quietly guarding A'Zhu.

Azhu couldn't sleep either.

Any woman of normal build would find it hard to fall asleep upon hearing about the great achievements of the Great Joyful Bodhisattva; if she were even slightly attractive, she would be so frightened that she would be unable to sleep at night.

……

"Crunch! Crunch! Crunch!"

Inside a huge mansion, a sickeningly loud sound emanated, and one could faintly smell the sweet, fragrant yet nauseating aroma of food, as if someone was making fried food, but in too much at once.

The mansion's main hall was brightly lit, but the walls of the rooms had long been torn down, leaving only a huge living room.

Inside the living room, more than thirty fat men, each weighing at least 300 pounds, were surrounding a ferocious beast weighing half a ton, seemingly born from ancient times.

Several pretty boys were hanging on the ferocious beast, each holding a wine glass the size of a toilet bowl in one hand and a freshly fried, plump chicken in the other. They stuffed the chicken into their mouths and tore at it, the sound of them chewing the chicken bones enough to give countless people nightmares.

Great Joyful Female Bodhisattva!

Bo Gang and Big Mom from the Wuxia world.

"Female Bodhisattva, this is your letter."

A round, fat man delivered a letter.

This guy is neither a pretty boy nor a woman, and he falls outside the scope of the Great Joyful Female Bodhisattva's interests.

From a mail delivery perspective, it is very safe.

"Let me see... Li Xunhuan... Li Zhaoting killed my godson, you bastard! You bastard! Whoever dares to kill my godson! I'll make him my godson!"

The Great Joyful Bodhisattva suddenly rose up, giving people the feeling of an earthquake. Her rolls of fat rippled and swayed, shaking off the slippery grease.

"Brush! Brush!"

Two hands, three times larger than bear paws, swung out from the air, blasting the two pretty boys into a bloody mess. The fat man who came to deliver the message was slapped hard by the two giant hands like a mosquito, leaving only a lump of flesh on his upper body.

"No one can stop me!"

"I will avenge my godson!"

The sound waves surged, reaching straight to the heavens!
(End of this chapter)