How can one be Emperor Chongzhen without money?

Chapter 147 I Want to Be a Kept Man! (Second Update, Please Subscribe and Vote)

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Huang Liji's eyes widened in disbelief, thinking he had misheard. Bi Ziyan's mouth hung open as he looked at the emperor, then at his colleagues. Wang Zaijin also looked horrified. Only Wei Zhongxian, who had been "taken for everything" by Chongzhen, remained relatively calm.

"Your Majesty... what... what do you mean?" Huang Liji asked, his voice trembling. He probably thought the Emperor was going to kidnap the two pirates.

Emperor Chongzhen certainly wouldn't do something so foolish. Kidnapping is a one-off deal; he wanted a steady, long-term profit.

"On the surface, as Mr. Huang said, we'll submit sealed bids, and the highest bidder wins." He set the tone first. "We need to get this going. We need to make Zheng Zhilong and Liu Xiang feel that the other party is determined to win, and that if they don't desperately raise their bids, they'll be finished. Wei Daban," he said, looking at Wei Zhongxian.

"You send someone to handle this. Spread the word that Liu Xiang (or Zheng Zhilong) brought a generous gift and is determined to get it. Make them drive the price up to the bone! The more they push it, the better."

Wei Zhongxian immediately bowed and said, "This old servant understands and will certainly handle it properly."

“However,” Chongzhen changed the subject, “the matter is not over yet, even after the highest bidder receives the title of king.”

His eyes were dark.

“Once the imperial decree is issued,” he emphasized the word “immediately,” “you, Wei Daban, will personally act as a secret envoy to secretly meet with the one who failed to win the position.”

Huang Lijie and the others held their breath.

"When you see him, you should speak in two parts." Chongzhen seemed to be instructing Wei Zhongxian on how to act. "First, scare him. Say that the emperor actually values ​​him, but now Zheng Zhilong (or Liu Xiang) has been granted the title of Prince and dominates the sea. His power has greatly increased, and he may become too powerful to control in the future. This is not only a worry for the court, but also a disaster for him who has fallen from grace."

"Then, point out a way and grant him a great favor." Chongzhen smiled bitterly. "Say that the Emperor pities his talent and cannot bear to see him leave the capital in despair. He has granted him special favor and wishes to take one of his younger sisters of suitable age, or his legitimate daughter, into the palace and make her a concubine."

He was truly acting for the country and its people! Even though he wasn't into that kind of thing, he still took a concubine; even Emperor Chongzhen himself was moved by his own actions.

"What?" Huang Lijie could no longer hold back and exclaimed.

"Your Majesty! Absolutely not!" The old Grand Secretary's voice trembled. "The daughter of a pirate, of lowly status, how can she enter the palace as a concubine? This is a violation of etiquette and law, an outrageous act! Where are the ancestral rules? How can the public outcry be quelled? The spittle of the people could drown the court! Your Majesty, think it over, think it over!"

Bi Ziyan and Wang Zaijin were also horrified.

Seeing Huang Liji's utterly dejected expression, Chongzhen felt both annoyed and amused. He had long expected these bookish old scholars to react this way.

Instead of getting angry, he slowly sat back on his throne, picked up the hot tea that Wang Chengen had just poured for him, blew on it, and took a sip.

"Mr. Huang," Chongzhen put down his teacup, his tone so calm it was unsettling, "you keep talking about ancestral systems, so let me ask you, what was the background of Empress Gao, the wife of Emperor Taizu?"

Huang Lijie choked, his mouth agape, unable to answer. Empress Gao had risen from humble beginnings with Emperor Taizu; she herself was not from a high-ranking family, but rather a "burden" of Guo Zixing's Red Turban Rebellion—in the eyes of the Yuan Dynasty, weren't the Red Turban Rebellion members simply rebels?
"When has the selection of imperial consorts in this dynasty ever considered high-ranking officials or noble families?" Chongzhen continued, "The most important thing is a clean background and upright appearance! As for Zheng Zhilong and Liu Xiang..."

He paused, his gaze sweeping over the crowd, and emphasized, "Who told you they were pirates?"

"Huh?" Even Bi Ziyan and Wang Zaijin were stunned.

Emperor Chongzhen snorted and tapped his fingers lightly on the table: "Those two are wealthy merchants who roam the seas! They are merchants who travel between the East and West Oceans, transporting goods to our Great Ming! What pirates? What heinous things have they done? They've done nothing but smuggling and collecting protection money at sea... As for smuggling, are they the only ones doing it? They're just transporters. Who provided the goods? Don't the cargo owners have any responsibility? As for collecting protection money at sea... that's no longer under the Emperor's nose, so I can't interfere."

"Besides, don't we have enough enemies in front of us, Great Ming? Eastern barbarians, northern bandits, western rebels, aren't they all major threats? Why make enemies out of thin air and push those we can win over to the other side?"

His words completely cleared Zheng and Liu of any wrongdoing. Huang Lijie was dumbfounded. Chongzhen, however, ignored him, and that helpless, bitter smile reappeared on his face, tinged with self-mockery: "I took one of their daughters as a concubine. To put it bluntly, what was the purpose? Wasn't it just to live off her?"

"Eating...eating a woman's rice bowl?" This time, not only Huang Lijie, but also Bi Ziyan and Wang Zaijin were completely dumbfounded. The Emperor...eating a woman's rice bowl? Could such a phrase really come out of the Emperor's mouth?

"Your Majesty! You are the supreme ruler, the sovereign of the world, how could you utter such... such self-deprecating words!" Huang Liji was heartbroken.

"Underestimating yourself?" Emperor Chongzhen suddenly raised his voice, seemingly annoyed. "I don't want to either! But I won't live off a woman... I don't have the money!"

He suddenly stood up, pulled out a newly delivered, barely legible memorial from his desk, and slammed it onto the tea table in front of Huang Liji.

"Look! The Governor of Sichuan, Zhu Xieyuan, sent an urgent message over 600 li! That traitor She Chongming is not satisfied with just being a king! He has usurped the title of emperor in Chongqing! The country is called 'Da Liang'!"

"What?" "Usurpation of the title...and declaring himself emperor?" Huang Lijie, Bi Ziyan, and Wang Zaijin were almost simultaneously speechless, their faces turning deathly pale. Usurping the title and declaring himself emperor—this completely changed the nature of the matter!
Seeing their horrified expressions, Chongzhen coldly calculated: "In the east, the Eastern barbarians are eyeing us covetously, costing millions of taels of silver a year in the Liaodong military campaign! In the north, although the Mongol tribes are temporarily at peace, the tigers and rabbits are still restless, and the threat of northern raiders has not been eliminated! In the west, another usurper, She Ni, has emerged! Fighting on three fronts, where doesn't it cost money? Shaanxi and Shanxi are still suffering from disasters, with refugees everywhere; don't they need money for relief?"

He became more and more agitated as he spoke, and walked up to Huang Liji, almost pointing his finger at him, and asked, "Mr. Huang, tell me, can I refuse this gigolo? Should I stop paying the Liaodong troops? Or should I let She Ni become emperor in Sichuan? Or should I let all the disaster victims in Shaanxi and Shanxi starve to death and turn into bandits?"

Huang Lijie immediately said, "Your Majesty is wise! Your Majesty is acting for the country and the people... Arranging marriages with wealthy merchants at sea is truly the act of a wise ruler!" This Grand Secretary was indeed insightful.

Emperor Chongzhen took a deep breath to calm himself down, and then said something even more shocking: "Therefore, I will make myself clear today!"

He glanced at the three men and said, slowly and deliberately, "These maritime princes of the Ming Dynasty can still be sold later! As long as the price is right, we can appoint a prince or marquis in the South Seas or the East Seas. What's wrong with appointing a thousand princes, dukes, and marquises?"

He then shifted to something even more astonishing: "My harem, with its vacant positions of concubine and consort, is just sitting empty. As long as the daughters are of good character and have sufficient dowries to solve the Ming Dynasty's urgent needs, I will take them as my own!"

He paused, looked at the three men with "moved" expressions, and almost gritted his teeth, saying with a roguish yet resolute air, "So what if I'm just eating a woman's rice? For the sake of the Ming Dynasty, I'll eat it! And I'll eat it heartily!"

Grand Secretary Huang Liji immediately wiped away non-existent tears—his loyalty was evident. Bi Ziyan and Wang Zaijin, on the other hand, looked ashamed.

Chongzhen was satisfied with the attitude of the three men, and turned to Wei Zhongxian, who had remained silent, and instructed him: "Wei Zhongxian, my esteemed companion."

“This old servant is here.” Wei Zhongxian immediately bowed and stood up.

"I entrust you with the task of contacting Zheng Zhilong and Liu Xiang." Chongzhen looked at him solemnly. "You are better at dealing with those江湖 figures than I am. You are my right-hand man. I can only feel at ease entrusting these matters, which are neither aboveboard nor of national importance, to you."

"Do it well, go for it, don't worry too much." These words from Emperor Chongzhen practically granted Wei Zhongxian the maximum authority.

Wei Zhongxian bowed deeply, his voice choked with emotion: "This old servant... thanks Your Majesty for your trust! This old servant will do my utmost, even with these old bones, to handle this matter properly and share Your Majesty's burdens!"

"Hmm." Chongzhen nodded, then looked at Huang Lijie, who had a loyal expression, and Bi Ziyan and Wang Zaijin, whose expressions were complicated. His tone softened: "Gentlemen, have you all understood?"

"Not a single levy should be exempted for the people of the North! Tax reforms should be implemented without pause! Not a single tael of silver should be spared for the Nine Border Regions and Korea!"

He paused, then set the tone for the imperial council with a single sentence:
"I'll figure out the money. You all, get your respective tasks done!"

(End of this chapter)