Da Ming: I told you to die for your cause, why are you actually going to die?

Chapter 89: Giving Old Zhu an abstract congratulatory gift, frantically shifting blame! [Seeking monthly votes]

Just when all the lower-ranking officials in the capital were baffled by Zhang Biao's thought process, Shen Lang was the first to react.

Without saying a word, he began rummaging through the car piled high with spoils, clearly unsure what could be a suitable gift.

Finally, Sun Gui shakily raised the chamber pot lamp that had accompanied them on their campaigns, its scent now faint but its significance profound:

"Brother Biao, look at this 'Light of the Ming Dynasty,' it can illuminate the Emperor."

"Vulgar!"

Zhang Biao waved his hand dismissively, his gaze sweeping across the carriage before finally settling on the glistening Jinhua ham he had smuggled from the Duke of Cao's mansion.

"That's it!"

Zhang Biao's eyes lit up, and he pointed at the ham, gesturing excitedly:

"Ham! Ham! May it bring you prosperity and good health! What a wonderful meaning! Let's give you this! It's simple, down-to-earth, and reflects the most sincere blessings from us grassroots officials to His Majesty!"

Jiang Huan: "!!!"

The Imperial Guards: "!!!"

Sending ham as a congratulatory gift to the emperor?! Or ham stolen from Li Jinglong's house?!
This is not just a breach of etiquette, this is a blatant insult!

Jiang Huan's hand returned to the hilt of the knife.

Ignoring everything else, Zhang Biao stepped forward, picked up the heavy ham, and even wiped away non-existent dust with his sleeve, looking quite serious.

Then he shouted, "Editor Li! Bring me paper and pen!"

Li Mo quickly found a piece of paper and half a stick of ink that were barely usable from a pile of junk; these were taken from Li Jinglong's house.

Zhang Biao temporarily handed the ham to Shen Lang to hold, then lay down on the deck of the audit vehicle, spread out paper, dipped it in ink, and began to write in a flamboyant style.

After he finished writing, he blew on the ink and nodded in satisfaction.

Then, he folded the extremely abstract memorial carefully, found a red string, and tied the memorial to the ham hock.

Soon, the red rope, ham, and memorial to the emperor formed an extremely bizarre scene.

It was so shocking that it made everyone present cringe.

Zhang Biao solemnly presented this 'group gift' to Jiang Huan, whose face had turned as black as the bottom of a pot, and said with a sincere expression:
"Commander Jiang, please convey our sincere sentiments to His Majesty! The gift is small but the sentiment is heavy, and the contents of the memorial are important. Please be sure to read it personally!"

Jiang Huan stared at the ham with the memorial tied to it, unsure whether to accept it or not, his forehead veins bulging.

He had never done such an outrageous job in his entire life.

Some of the Imperial Guards behind him covered their faces with their hands, unable to bear to look any longer.

Zhang Biao ignored them, shoved the ham into Jiang Huan's arms, and then waved his hand dismissively:
"Alright! The gift has been delivered! Our mission is complete!"

"Brothers, let's go! Next target: the Ministry of Works!"

"I heard that the Ministry of Works is in charge of the river project, and there's a lot of money to be made from it! Let's go and 'audit' the project funds for them!"

As soon as he finished speaking, he led his men, ignoring Jiang Huan and the Imperial Guards who were frozen in place, and singing absurd songs, turned towards the Ministry of Works to continue their 'mobile audit' journey.

Jiang Huan, meanwhile, stood bewildered in the wind, clutching the heavy, greasy Jinhua ham, which was also tied with an abstract memorial.

It was like holding a bomb that could explode at any moment, standing still, face ashen, caught in a dilemma.

How do we get this thing in?
To whom?
The emperor has just woken up. If he sees this and faints from anger again, who will be held responsible?
He felt that in his decades-long career as a member of the Embroidered Uniform Guard, he had never encountered such a difficult and absurd situation.

He's good at chopping people up, but dealing with this kind of abstract art is completely beyond his scope of expertise.

Moreover, by risking his life to stop Zhang Biao, he had actually crossed the line.

He only learned of the news that Lao Zhu had just woken up.

He didn't even have time to go to the palace to see Zhu Yuanzhang before he was shocked by Zhang Biao's crazy and reckless behavior.

It wasn't that he was worried about Zhang Biao, but rather about Lao Zhu.

After all, Old Zhu had already fainted three times from Zhang Biao's anger. If Zhang Biao were to make Old Zhu faint again, he couldn't even imagine whether Old Zhu would be able to wake up.

If Zhu Yuanzhang never wakes up, who will take charge of the overall situation? Or rather, who will succeed him to the throne of the Ming Dynasty?

Although these things were beyond Jiang Huan's control, as Zhu Yuanzhang's henchman, it was his duty to be loyal to his master. Even if he was reprimanded by his master afterward, he would still stand in front of him without hesitation.

"Commander Jiang—!"

Just as Jiang Huan was at a stalemate, and even began to seriously consider whether he should 'accidentally' drop the ham into the moat, a series of hurried footsteps approached.

Then, Zhan Hui, the Left Censor-in-Chief of the Censorate, arrived, panting, accompanied by Li Yuanming, the Minister of Rites, Xia Shu, the Minister of Justice, and Zheng Ci, the Minister of Works.

These three ministers are high-ranking officials from various departments who have not yet been audited.

They came here for two reasons: first, they had also heard the Jingyang Bell ringing and came to complain to Old Zhu; second, they wanted to find out about Zhang Biao and see if they could persuade Jiang Huan to stop Zhang Biao's crazy behavior.

As for Zhan Hui, although he was scolded mercilessly by Zhang Biao, he was still unwilling to give up. Especially now that Old Zhu had woken up, he was determined to maintain his dignity and could not let a subordinate intimidate him.

Otherwise, how could he possibly have the face to manage the Censorate and the Ministry of Personnel?
Isn't this just making myself a laughing stock among those below?
However, just as they arrived, panting, they saw Jiang Huan standing dumbfounded outside the palace gate, holding a large ham, looking both comical and ridiculous.

"Commander Jiang, what's wrong?"

Zhan Hui and the others were taken aback at first, then their eyes swept over the jingling audit vehicle that was gradually disappearing into the distance, and they immediately understood seven or eight parts of the situation.

"Commander Jiang!"

Zhan Hui stepped forward first, his face displaying just the right amount of concern and official authority: "Was it that madman Zhang Biao who was causing such a ruckus just now? Have you captured him? This lawless scoundrel must not be tolerated any longer!"

He spoke with righteous indignation, as if he wasn't the one who had just been scolded by Zhang Biao and dared not utter a word, silently making way for him.

Minister of Rites Li Yuanming stroked his beard, looking concerned for the country and its people: "Yes, Commander Jiang, such a rebellious scoundrel has stormed the palace and disturbed His Majesty's presence. He is utterly wicked and should be arrested immediately and punished according to the law!"

Minister of Justice Xia Shu habitually offered his professional opinion: "According to the laws of the Ming Dynasty, disrupting the palace is considered treason and can be punished by immediate execution! Why hasn't Commander Jiang taken action yet?"

His gaze toward Jiang Huan even carried a hint of suspicion. Although Minister of Works Zheng Ci did not speak, his eyes were filled with urging, "Arrest him quickly!"

After all, Zhang Biao's next destination was the Ministry of Works.

Even though he had already ordered his men to be on high alert and implement a scorched-earth policy, he was still somewhat uneasy.

Jiang Huan felt disgusted looking at this group of wise men who were only talking after the fact and didn't understand the situation.

To take action? To kill?

If you're so capable, then you do it!
When Zhang Biao was here, why didn't you guys come over and show your strength?
Now that they're gone, they're coming to boss me around?
Who do you think you are, to presume to teach me how to do things?!
He suppressed the urge to roll his eyes, his face remaining expressionless, his voice flat and emotionless:

"You gentlemen have arrived at just the right time. Imperial Censor Zhang did not storm the palace; he merely brought a congratulatory gift and a memorial, saying that he was congratulating His Majesty on his recovery and reporting on the results of today's 'audit' work."

After speaking, he glanced at the four people again, and finally fixed his gaze on Zhan Hui, directly handing forward the ham with the memorial tied to it from his arms:
"As this commander is responsible for guarding the palace, I cannot leave without permission. Since Censor-in-Chief Zhan is here, and this item is both a congratulatory gift and accompanied by a memorial from an official of the Censorate, it is most appropriate for the Censorate to present it to the Emperor."

"Then I will trouble Censor Zhan."

After saying that, without giving Zhan Hui a chance to react, she skillfully and forcefully stuffed the savory ham into Zhan Hui's arms.

Zhan Hui: "!!!"

He caught it instinctively, and the heavy, greasy feeling made him almost throw it away.

A congratulatory gift? Ham?!

A memorial to the emperor? Tied to a ham?!
Was it a gift from Zhang Biao?!
What the hell is this thing?!
Zhan Hui's face turned green instantly, and his arm holding the ham stiffened as if he were holding a poisonous snake instead of food.

The three ministers beside him, Li Yuanming, Xia Shu, and Zheng Ci, also took a half step back in unison, as if avoiding a plague, and looked at the thing in Zhan Hui's arms with fear in their eyes.

They were so focused on criticizing Jiang Huan that they didn't even look at this thing closely. Now that they've seen it clearly, they find it utterly absurd and it sends chills down their spines.

To send the head of the Censorate to deliver a ham as a congratulatory gift to the Emperor?
The scene was too beautiful for them to even imagine!
"Commander Jiang! This item might be problematic!"

Zhan Hui's voice changed as he tried to push the ham back: "This is outrageous! It should be presented directly by the Embroidered Uniform Guard."

Swish!
Jiang Huan abruptly took a step back, skillfully dodging the attack, her tone remaining calm yet carrying an undeniable authority:

"The Embroidered Uniform Guard is only responsible for protection, communication, and forwarding of documents and gifts; these are not our duties. As the chief official of the Censorate, it is perfectly legitimate for you, Censor-in-Chief Zhan, to forward the memorials of your subordinate censors."

He paused, then added, "To kill someone is to destroy their spirit."
"Moreover, Imperial Censor Zhang keeps saying that he is 'reporting good news' and congratulating the Emperor on his recovery. If we obstruct him, wouldn't it make us seem like we don't want to see the Emperor healthy and well? What do you say, Censor Zhan?"

Damn it!
Great pot!

Zhan Hui was so angry that he couldn't speak. Holding the ham with the memorial attached, he didn't know whether to throw it away or keep it. He was so embarrassed that he wished he could find a crack in the ground to crawl into.

Li Yuanming, Xia Shu, and Zheng Ci, on the other hand, kept their eyes down, pretending to study the cracks in the bricks on the ground, completely losing their previous indignant demeanor.

Let whoever wants to get involved in this mess, they can get involved; they're not getting involved anyway.

Jiang Huan looked at the cowardly appearance of this group of people, sneered inwardly, and cupped his hands again: "This is a very important place, so it is not convenient for me to stay for long. My lords, I still need to inspect the defenses. Farewell."

Having said that, he didn't give Zhan Hui any more chances to refuse. He turned around and led the Imperial Guards away from this troublesome place, disappearing faster than a rabbit.

All that was left was Zhan Hui, clutching that damned ham, standing bewildered in the cold wind.

Li Yuanming and the other two exchanged glances and coughed twice:
"Ahem, Brother Zhan, since... since you have already presented the congratulatory gift, shall we go and await an audience?"

"Yes, yes, Brother Zhan, you've worked hard!"

"That's right! I'm going ahead; that bastard Zhang Biao has gone to my Ministry of Works!!"

Before the words were even finished, the three of them slipped away even faster than Jiang Huan, disappearing in an instant.

Zhan Hui stood alone, holding a ham, looking at the palace gate so close at hand, feeling as if the thing in his hand weighed a ton.

He could almost see the emperor's furious expression when he saw this thing, and he could almost hear the roar of "Drag him out and behead him!"
"Zhang Biao! I curse your ancestors—!"

In his heart, Zhan Hui let out a silent, desperate roar.

Finally, under the strange gaze of the gatekeepers, Zhan Hui, with a tragic feeling of "the wind is howling and the Yi River is cold, the hero departs and never returns," gritted his teeth and slowly, step by step, moved heavily toward the Huagai Hall.

With each step he took, he felt the ham in his arms was like a red-hot iron, burning his very soul.

He never imagined in his life that he, the Left Censor-in-Chief of the Censorate and Minister of Personnel, would one day be like a cook, holding a ham and going to meet the Emperor.

Zhang Biao, I'm not done with you yet!

But what was written in this memorial? He wanted to see it, yet dared not.

Please vote with your monthly tickets! My dear readers, there will be an extra chapter tonight if you vote! Don't ask me if I'll get an extra chapter if I vote; if you vote, you definitely will!

　[I've received so many donations that I can't thank everyone here, but I've received your kind wishes. Thank you so much! ORZ]

　　Also, a huge thank you to S for the 100000 reward to [Pig Head Meat], which has made our Pig Head Meat character a hit (laughs). Remember to like this post!

　　The following rankings are in no particular order:

　　Thank you for the 5000-yuan reward from Xiaofengchao. Thank you for the 1500-yuan reward from Zhage.

　　Thank you to Lily-chan who loves to cry for the 200-coin reward. Thank you to Lord Nightmare for the 500-coin reward.

　　Dimensional Black Hole 500-point reward. Thank you Jinde for the 1000-point reward.

　　Thank you to Tornado Storm for the 500-yuan donation. Thank you to reader with the last four digits of their ID (4628) for the 566-yuan donation.

　　Thank you for the 200-yuan reward for "Tenderness Grants You a Lifetime". Thank you for the 500-yuan reward for "Knife of Nature".

　　Thank you Yang Houye for the 500-yuan donation. Thank you to book friend 46 who loves cola for the 5200-yuan donation.

　　Thanks to Coal Ball for the 500-yuan reward. Thanks to 815 Street Stooge for the 500-yuan reward.

　　Thank you m1000 for the donation. Thank you woofer333 for the donation.

　　
　
(End of this chapter)