Da Ming: I told you to die for your cause, why are you actually going to die?

Chapter 85 The Unconventional War God of the Ming Dynasty [Seeking First Subscription]

"who am I?"

"where am I?"

"What do I want to do?"

As soon as Li Jinglong woke up from his coma, these three soul-searching questions popped into his head.

However, the person who answered him was not the steward of the manor, nor the servant Zhou Tong, but a man he never dreamed of seeing.

But then the man said with a smile:

"You're the incredibly wealthy Duke Li! You'd better treat us to dinner at your home! Hurry up!"

"puff--!"

"Master Guo——!!"

The Duke of Cao's residence was thrown into chaos once again.

Zhang Biao shrugged and turned to Shen Lang and the others, saying, "Duke Li is probably too excited because he knows he's going to treat us to a meal. Let's just do it ourselves and not trouble him too much!"

Shen Lang and the others: "."

Brother Biao truly lives up to his name!
He was simply the greatest war god of the Ming Dynasty!

"Accountant Shen!"

Zhang Biao ignored Li Jinglong and directly ordered, "Take stock of the ingredients we 'paid off' from the kitchen! See if it's enough for the brothers to have a good meal!"

Shen Lang immediately ran to the audit vehicle and started rummaging through the sacks and boxes containing ingredients.

"Brother Biao! There's half a rack of spare ribs! Several pieces of cured pork! A bunch of winter bamboo shoots and mushrooms! And a bag of polished rice!"

Shen Lang became more and more excited as he read: "Oh my, there's also a jar that looks like Jinhua ham!"

All of these are top-quality ingredients audited from the kitchen of the Duke of Cao's mansion.

Although Li Jinglong had already 'fainted' on the ground, his heart was bleeding. He had specially asked someone to bring that ham from Zhejiang so that he could enjoy it during the New Year.

"Good! Very good!"

Zhang Biao beamed and immediately greeted them:

"Imperial Censor Zhao! Take your men and go clean out that big copper hot pot at Lord Li's house! We'll have hot pot right here in this hall today!"

"Editor Li! Get some paper and pen, and record the grand occasion of this audit's working lunch!"

"Everyone else! Help wash the vegetables and cut the meat! Wash and use the silver tableware from Lord Li's house too! Let's experience the Duke's standard of living!"

"okay!"

The crowd cheered and instantly became full of energy, as if they were the ones who had just said they weren't hungry.

The group immediately divided the work and cooperated as if they were in their own home.

Some were washing vegetables, some were cutting meat, some were scrubbing pots, and some were starting fires.

Some people even found a few low tables and cushions that hadn't been moved from some corner, pieced them together, and that became a makeshift dining table.

Li Jinglong finally couldn't resist and secretly opened his eyes, watching as this group of people in his own home used the things they had stolen to prepare to eat his stored food.
This extreme sense of absurdity and humiliation drove him almost insane.

"These robbers! Bandits! Shameless scoundrels!"

He cursed silently to himself, feeling frustrated.

Zhang Biao picked up the jar of Jinhua ham, walked up to him, lifted the lid, and a rich aroma of ham wafted out.

"Lord Li, stop pretending. I know you're not unconscious. How about we eat something together?"

Zhang Biao grinned like a devil: "Look how delicious this ham is! Sharing is caring!"

Upon hearing this, Li Jinglong's stomach growled, but the overwhelming sense of humiliation immediately overwhelmed his hunger.

He gritted his teeth and turned his head away:
"Bah! I'd rather starve to death or jump off this cliff than eat a single bite of your food!"

"Have some backbone!"

Zhang Biao gave a thumbs up, then shouted to the busy crowd, "Brothers! Lord Li said he's not hungry, so let's divide his portion among ourselves!"

"Thank you, Lord Li!"

Everyone spoke in unison, their voices loud and clear, filled with joy.

Soon, the charcoal fire was lit, and steam rose from the copper pot, filling the entire living room with the rich aroma of the broth.

Various sliced ​​meats and vegetables were served, and a set of gleaming silver cutlery was distributed to everyone.

Although some people may not be used to it and feel that it is not as practical as their own old bowls, being able to use this set of tableware makes this life worthwhile.

"Come on, brothers!"

Zhang Biao picked up a silver bowl, which was filled with expensive Shaoxing wine audited from Li Jinglong's wine cellar:
"To celebrate the milestone achievement of our audit today! And to thank Mr. Li for his hospitality! Cheers!"

"Done!"

The crowd raised their silver bowls and cups, making a loud clanging sound, and then tilted their heads back and drank heartily.

Although the movements were rough and clashed with the exquisite tableware and environment, they exuded a carefree and unrestrained spirit.

"Eat, eat, eat! Don't be shy! Make yourself at home!"

Zhang Biao greeted them warmly, picking up a large slice of cooked mutton, dipping it in the sauce, and stuffing it into his mouth, hissing as it was scalding hot.
"Wow! Delicious! It smells damn good! Lord Li, your cook is quite skilled... Oh wait, I cut this meat, so I guess I'm quite skilled too!"

Li Jinglong had woken up, but he didn't seem fully awake. At least his mind was still foggy.

He was huddled in the corner, listening to the laughter and chatter, smelling the enticing aroma of meat and wine, feeling as if he were being subjected to the cruelest torture in the world.

His house was robbed.

They robbed his family and then held a victory celebration banquet at his house.

They use his things and eat his stock.

This is no longer just killing someone and destroying their spirit; it's like repeatedly rubbing Li Jinglong's dignity into the ground and then sprinkling it with chili powder!

Just then, Shen Lang carefully walked up to Li Jinglong with a bowl piled high with meat and vegetables, speaking in a relatively polite tone, after all, he was indebted to him.

But then he said with a grin:

"Master Li, are you really not going to eat anything? Brother Biao specially asked me to save the best pork belly and ham for you."

The bowl of meat was almost right under Li Jinglong's nose, its aroma domineeringly penetrating his nasal cavity and wildly stimulating his taste buds and empty stomach.

Li Jinglong's throat bobbed uncontrollably.

He gritted his teeth, closed his eyes, and tried to resist the temptation of this devil.

But then Zhang Biao's voice drifted over again:
"Old Li, don't push yourself! If you ruin your health, how will you ever enjoy the pleasure boats and hire actors again? Come on, eat something, eat something, you'll have the energy to hate me when you're full!"

"puff--!"

Li Jinglong's last line of psychological defense was finally broken.

He snatched the bowl from Shen Lang's hand, not caring about using silver cutlery, and grabbed the meat inside with his bare hands, stuffing it into his mouth. Tears streamed down his face as he ate. Whether it was a sudden change after his breakdown or Zhang Biao's unexpected culinary skills, he couldn't help but mutter something under his breath:
"It smells so good!" "Hahaha!"

Seeing this, Zhang Biao burst into laughter: "That's right! Of all things, eating is the most important! Even if I hate you, I have to fill my stomach first!"

This utterly absurd auditing lunch was being held in the once most luxurious, now most empty, living room of the Duke of Cao's mansion, in a lively and enthusiastic manner.

The robbers ate at the same table with the victims, using the same utensils they had just stolen and eating the same food they had just taken.

The scene was simply indescribable.

I don't know how much time passed before we finally had a satisfying audit meal.

At this moment, Li Jinglong slowly walked to Zhang Biao's side, his previous breakdown gone, replaced by an awkward and ingratiating smile.

Seeing him approach, Zhang Biao narrowed his eyes slightly and said with a hint of amusement in his voice:
"What, is Lord Li planning to settle scores with us later?"

"Don't dare!"

Li Jinglong quickly waved his hand, his smile becoming even more forced and even somewhat humble:

"Imperial Censor Zhang and all my brothers, please enjoy your meal. This is just a small token of my appreciation."

"Ok?"

His words stunned even Zhang Biao.

Has this guy gotten so angry he's lost his mind? Why is he suddenly being so polite?

Li Jinglong took a deep breath, as if making a decision, and walked to the table, picked up an empty wine glass, filled it with the expensive Daughter's Red wine, then raised the glass with both hands to Zhang Biao, speaking with unusual sincerity:
"Imperial Censor Zhang, I'd like to offer you a toast."

boom!
There was silence.

Everyone looked at Li Jinglong as if he were an idiot.

Zhang Biao did not raise his cup, but looked at him calmly and indifferently: "Duke Cao, what are you playing at? A trap? Or is this a signal to smash the cup?"

"Imperial Censor Zhang has misunderstood!"

Li Jinglong quickly shook his head: "I am sincerely respecting you. I was out of line at your residence just now."

He paused, a hint of reminiscence and emotion on his face: "My father often taught me that in this court, there are some people you can offend, and some you cannot. And some people, it seems you can offend them, but in reality, if you do, your life may be over."

His words were so vague and ambiguous that everyone was completely confused.

"to be honest."

Li Jinglong looked at Zhang Biao again, his eyes filled with complex emotions, and said:
"Before today, I, Li Jinglong, considered myself a person of importance in Yingtian Prefecture. But Imperial Censor Zhang, you only took one day, no, half a day, to make me completely understand what it means to be outmatched and to be in a world beyond our understanding."

Zhang Biao was speechless, wondering what this guy was up to.

But then Li Jinglong sighed, “You have cursed the Emperor, you have cursed the nobles and high-ranking officials, you have audited the Six Ministries, you have emptied the government offices, and you have even emptied our Duke’s mansion.”

"Although his methods were ruthless, they were inexplicably admirable!"

He himself found it somewhat unbelievable when he uttered the word "admire".

Zhang Biao chuckled: "So, you've come to express your respect to me?"

"Yes, not all."

Li Jinglong leaned closer and lowered his voice, saying, "Imperial Censor Zhang, you see, you've basically offended almost all the civil and military officials in the court, haven't you?"

Zhang Biao raised an eyebrow: "Pretty much. What? You want to join us?"

"No no no!"

Li Jinglong quickly shook his head, then said cautiously, with a hint of negotiation in his tone:
"What I mean is, you see, you audited me today, you scolded me, you emptied my house, and you even had a meal at my house. Doesn't that mean we have some kind of relationship?"

"so what?"

Zhang Biao roughly guessed what he was thinking and found it incredibly amusing.

Li Jinglong rubbed his hands together, his face plastered with a fawning smile, and uttered that earth-shattering statement that made everyone burst out laughing:

"So, Censor Zhang, what do you think about the next time you feel like scolding someone, or if you need to 'audit' someone?"

"Could you please be a little more lenient with Li? Speak less harshly? Or give me a heads-up so I can apologize first?"

"I just ask that you don't read out my little hobbies in public."

"puff--!"

"Pfft!"

"Hahaha!"

As soon as he finished speaking, the entire private room fell into a deathly silence for a moment, then erupted into earth-shattering laughter.

Shen Lang sprayed a mouthful of wine all over Sun Gui, who laughed so hard he pounded the table. Li Mo laughed so hard his hat fell off, and the others were all staggering around, laughing until tears streamed down their faces.

What do you mean? We robbed you, and you expect us to pay you to be gentler next time?!

The way Duke Cao thinks is even more bizarre than Brother Biao's!
Has he been beaten into submission?
Or is it a different kind of surrender that results in losing half the stake?
Zhang Biao was also taken aback by Li Jinglong's actions, then a slight smile appeared on his lips. He thought to himself, "I underestimated you, the number one war god of the Ming Dynasty."

"Fine! For your awareness, I'll try to use milder words when I scold you from now on! I'll even give you a heads-up before auditing your house!"

Upon hearing this, Li Jinglong felt as if he had been granted a pardon, and a genuine smile appeared on his face:
"Thank you, Imperial Censor Zhang! Thank you! Then I won't disturb your enjoyment any longer! From now on, all your food and drink expenses will be on my tab!"

After saying this, he left satisfied, even sending away his steward and servants.

Shen Lang and his group erupted in thunderous laughter once again.

Sun Gui wiped away tears of laughter and exclaimed, "My goodness! This Duke Cao is a real talent!"

Shen Lang shook his head and sighed, "Indeed, none of those who can make a name for themselves in Yingtian Prefecture are simple."

Li Mo offered a seemingly profound summary: "His actions are laughable, and his wisdom appears foolish?"

Zhang Biao's lips curled up slightly: "Interesting, very interesting. This Ming Dynasty officialdom is even more fun than before."

"Brother Biao, where do we go next?!"

Just as everyone was admiring Li Jinglong's unique way of thinking, Zhao Fengman suddenly asked a question.

Upon hearing this, the surrounding area fell silent instantly, and everyone turned to look at Zhang Biao.

Zhang Biao looked up at the sky, stroked his chin, and said, "If I come to Li Jinglong's residence and don't go to Guo Ying's, that stinking rock in the latrine will think that I, Zhang Biao, am afraid of him!"

"But I just heard from the steward of Lord Li's mansion that Marquis Wuding seems to be ill, quite seriously ill, and has even fallen into a coma!"

"what!"

Zhang Biao looked up and laughed, then revealed a knowing look, and said quietly:

"I've just learned a unique medical skill! Let me go take a look at that old man and show you what it means to suddenly sit up in shock while on the verge of death!"

"Hahaha! Good!"

"Dr. Zhang! This way, please!"

(End of this chapter)