My era, 1979!

Chapter 150 (Bonus Chapter): Essay "My First Time Seeing the Sea" (Seeking Monthly Tickets)
My First Time Seeing the Sea

Author: Xu Chengjun

(One)

When the autumn wind of 1979 blew the water vapor on the Huangpu River into fine salt, I finally stood on the mudflats of Shanghai and encountered the sea for the first time.

That wasn't the frozen blue of a painting, but a living, surging, gigantic ribbon—the crests of the waves swirling with sunlight like shattered gold, the troughs slumbering with inky shadows, each rise and fall like the breath of heaven and earth, kneading millions of years of time into the salty wind.

My hands suddenly trembled, my shoes sank into the damp sand, and I realized I was nothing more than a thinking grain of sand on the mudflats, gently cradled by the vastness of the sea, even my breath a bow to nature. Isn't life often like this? In a moment, we are swept up by the grand, only to realize our insignificance as individuals, yet within that insignificance, the spark of thought still flickers.

As the sea unfolded before my eyes, I recalled all the images of "greatness" I had read, only to find that words seemed like clumsy children in comparison.

Alaskan blue whales glide across trenches two thousand meters deep, their tails swaying, the spray from their dorsal fins cutting through the water's surface catching the starlight of the entire Arctic; the Norwegian aurora borealis spreads a rainbow across the midnight sea, its rays kissing the scales of cod schools, turning the icy waters into flowing jewels; the corals of the Maldives weave labyrinthine palaces in the shallows, the light spots on the scales of tropical fish weaving through the coral branches creating a shimmering galaxy on the surface. But these distant wonders pale in comparison to the sea beneath my feet—it needs no elaborate adornment, only the force of each surging wave, etching the word "greatness" into my very being. I've realized that true greatness in life isn't a deliberately pursued label, but rather, like the sea, a natural and awe-inspiring power that flows from its very core.

I crouched down and touched the seawater that was up to my ankles.

The coolness wasn't a biting chill, but a gentle warmth carrying an ancient feel, like countless waves softly kissing my skin. Distant cargo ships became moving black dots, the cries of seagulls were ripped into thin threads by the wind, even the clouds on the horizon moved exceptionally slowly, as if afraid to disturb the sea's contemplation. I suddenly understood that people always chase after "big" things, thinking that only by standing higher and going further can they approach greatness, forgetting that greatness is hidden in reverence for the insignificant—like the little crab in the mudflats, carrying a translucent shell, hastily hiding in its sand burrow when the waves come, yet the moment it raises its pincers, it is also declaring the stubbornness of life to the sea; like me standing on the beach now, so small that I could be easily swept away by the waves, yet every beat of my heart responds to the vastness of the sea—this is the most moving greatness of life. In this life, why not be like this little crab, steadfast in reverence, stubbornly clinging to the insignificance?

Another wave surged in, washing over my feet and filling my nostrils with the salty smell of the sea.

I recall my time working in the countryside in Xujiatun, Fengyang. The widest river I ever saw was the Huai River in front of the village, and I thought its vastness represented the limit of the world. Later, when I saw Chaohu Lake in Hefei, I realized that a lake's immensity could hold the entire sky. But only now, encountering the sea, do I understand that true grandeur isn't about "holding," but about "embracing"—embracing the roar of cargo ships, and also the timidity of small crabs; embracing the scorching sun, and also the deep shadows; embracing millions of years of time, and also embracing my suddenly awestruck and insignificant heart. The realm of life is much the same: from being confined to a small world, to seeing a wider world, and finally realizing that inclusiveness is the deepest power.

As the sun sets, the sea is dyed a molten gold, and the light from the crests of the waves stretches from the horizon to my feet like countless burning torches. I stand up, gazing at the horizon where the sea meets the sky, and suddenly my eyes well up with tears—not because of the sea's beauty, but because I finally understand: the greatness of life is not about competing with nature, but about accepting one's own insignificance like the sea accepts its waves, and like the waves chasing the sea, forever maintaining the courage to strive for grandeur. Like the blue whales of Alaska, knowing the darkness in the trenches, they still dive into the deep sea; like the aurora borealis of Norway, knowing it will dissipate after midnight, they still illuminate the surface of the sea; like me standing on the beach now, knowing I am but a grain of sand, I still want to etch the grandeur of the sea into my memory, letting this awe become the light against mediocrity in my future life. Life should be like this, living out one's own light and warmth in acceptance and striving.

The sea breeze rises again, carrying the scent of the sea as it brushes against my hair. I know that this memory of seeing the sea for the first time will shine forever in my life, like the light on the crest of a wave.

What it taught me was not only the grandeur of nature, but also the purest and most moving resonance when a tiny life encounters the magnificent nature—this is the secret to the greatness of life. In the future, even if I encounter more turbulent times, remembering this resonance with the sea will give me the confidence to transcend the mundane and journey towards the grand. (II)

I walked slowly along the mudflats, and the footprints behind me were quickly smoothed over by the waves, as if they had never existed.

This reminds me of those fleeting thoughts that have passed through the years, those emotions that I once thought were unforgettable. Perhaps, like these footprints, they will quietly disappear in the tides of time, leaving only slight traces of being washed away, proving that they were once vivid.

In the distance, fishermen were hauling in their nets, heavy and shimmering with water. The fish inside were leaping and jumping, like a flowing ball of silver fire.

I watched the fisherman's dark arms straining against the rope, every bulge of his muscles revealing his unwavering resilience in his struggle against the sea. Unlike me, he wasn't lost in philosophical contemplation of the sea; for him, it was a daily symbiosis, a tangible dependence. This made me realize that greatness isn't just about looking up in awe; immersing oneself in the experience, engaging concretely with the vast world in ordinary days, is also a remarkable state of being. Just like when I write, it's not to explore profound truths, but simply to touch upon the most authentic essence of life through concrete people and events.

As darkness fell, the sea changed from molten gold to deep indigo, and finally became jet black.

Stars appeared one by one, like fireflies spat into the sky by the sea. I sat on a rock, listening to the roar of the waves crashing against it, a powerful and enduring sound that drowned out all the noise of the world. I thought of our first encounter. At that time, I felt she was a beautiful existence independent of the mundane world, but now, by the sea, I suddenly understood that she was also a part of this vast world. Her beauty, like the vastness of the sea and the resilience of the fishermen, was a color in the spectrum of life, together constituting the richness and diversity of this world.

The waves surge and recede tirelessly, and I know that when I leave this place and return to those days filled with manuscripts and ideals, the awe the sea gave me will not disappear. It will transform into a force, reminding me of the vastness and inclusiveness of life when I am revising a manuscript late into the night, or when I am confused by the incomprehension of others.

Just like now, although I am just a passerby on this beach, the sea, with its vastness, has given me a courage that I can carry with me. It allows me to face any challenges in my future life, whether it be the bottleneck in my literary creation or the obstacles in my life, just like the sea accepts every wave. Then, with the determination to move forward towards the vastness, I can continue to move forward.

The last wisp of evening breeze, carrying a salty, damp scent, pushed me back.

I stood up, brushed the sand off my trousers, as if shaking off a weight of unspoken worries. I glanced back at the deep, still sea, silent in the night, yet seemingly with endless stories to tell. I knew that my story with the sea had only just begun on this night of my first seasight. In the years to come, I would carry the strength I drew from here, continuing to explore and journey through the sea of ​​my own life.

(End of this chapter)