I am weak and friendly

Chapter 430 Who Wrote the Banner All Night? My Battle with "Takeout" (4K)

Ok?
Someone knocks on the door at this hour?
Tang Yiping was stunned for a moment.

isn't it...

Tang Yiping opened his "People Nearby" feature and saw a yellow dot of light outside his door.

——【Universal Barbarian】Vanrag-G1178945623-C (Survival Class: 【Loyal Servant】Specialized Class: 【Firewalker】)
They actually arrived? And in this way?

Tang Yiping had imagined many cool ways to arrive, but he never expected that the way he would arrive—by eliminating his team members and subordinates—would be so simple and unpretentious.

Thinking back, Charon came to this place in the same way last time.

[The Survival Guide for the Weak] is surprisingly down-to-earth.

"Who is it?" Tang Yiping heard Old Xu's voice and the sound of a chair being moved coming from the opposite room. Old Xu probably heard the knocking and was about to open the door.

“It’s my takeout!” Tang Yiping said. “I’ll go open the door.”

"I'm ordering takeout again tonight! Young people these days have such good tastes... Wait a minute, can our school deliver takeout now?"

Emmmmm...

Oh no, we've encountered a bug.

Tang Yiping didn't know how to answer, so he simply remained silent.

Fortunately, Lao Xu didn't press the matter further and sat back down.

Tang Yiping felt that he really liked his roommate Lao Xu, who was very tactful and didn't like to talk too much.

"Coming, just a moment!" Tang Yiping said, turning his wheelchair to the doorway.

Then he opened the door and saw his takeout delivery—no, his first recruited subordinate—standing outside.

No, they're blocking the doorway.

Tang Yiping didn't notice his presence at first, thinking there was a black wall blocking the door. Only later did he realize that it was a dark shadow.

"Come in quickly!" Tang Yiping said, only to realize that this guy probably couldn't get in.

The "being" in front of me is humanoid in shape, but it is ridiculously tall, so tall that you have to bow down to stand in the corridor.

Tang Yiping felt that it was probably four meters tall. He felt that the floor in the corridor was about to be tilted and deformed by the weight, making creaking noises.

Tang Yiping couldn't help but complain.

Didn't they say that the suppression and dimensional reduction were complete?

It's still so big!
Tang Yiping was internally complaining when he saw the dark shadow in front of him suddenly "wriggle" a little, and then...

He squeezed in from outside the door.

It did indeed get in; it was somewhat like some kind of viscous asphalt or something even more viscous, clinging tightly to the door frame and "flowing" in.

Then, it reformed behind Tang Yiping, transforming into a giant humanoid creature.

Tang Yiping looked up at him, feeling a strong sense of oppression.

Tang Yiping just wanted to say one thing: "My God, you're so tall!"

Tang Yiping was only able to see what this guy looked like after he came in.

It has no facial features, is humanoid, has thick limbs, and its overall appearance is somewhat like a Nendoroid or a stone golem from a game.

In short, it resembles a person, but is somewhat abstract.

It's the kind of thing that absolutely cannot be shown in front of other people.

"Can you make it smaller?" Tang Yiping asked.

"I'm sorry, Lord Li Ke Boren, I will do my best..."

"Keep your voice down!" Tang Yiping quickly said.

"Yes, it is……"

It contracted again with all its might, and was finally able to straighten up indoors.

"Make it smaller!" Tang Yiping said.

"Yes...yes! My lord! Bear...bear with it!"

The moment he met Tang Yiping, Van Lager felt the harshness of his new boss.

It couldn't help but tremble.

When its true form descends, it has already been reduced to a lower dimension, and its body has been compressed to a density close to that of a black hole. It uses its own power to counteract the terrifying gravity, and it is not enough to not destroy this world.

There were even stricter requirements.

but……

obey……

patience!
Patience is a virtue!
Tang Yiping stared at Vanlag, watching it continue to shrink until it was only about two meters tall. Only then did Tang Yiping nod in satisfaction.

My own bedroom can't fit such a big guy, this one is barely enough.

"Come on, come in with me."

Tang Yiping greeted them, then turned and drove towards his room.

Van Lag awkwardly followed behind.

"Hirako?" Hearing the voice, Old Xu came out of his room again, looking in the direction of Van Lag with some confusion.

"It's nothing, just takeout," Tang Yiping said.

At that moment, Tang Yiping was very glad that Lao Xu was blind and could not see the human-shaped black shadow in front of him.

Indeed, those heavy footsteps betrayed Van Lager.

"Don't worry, I understand." Hearing Tang Yiping's explanation, Old Xu revealed a cryptic smile. "Don't worry, I won't judge anything... but be careful!"

Tang Yiping: "???"

Old Xu, what have you misunderstood?
I never would have guessed that you, who are already halfway to the grave, would have such a strong ability to make connections!
Tang Yiping was about to explain when Lao Xu had already retreated to his room and closed the door.

Tang Yiping wasn't even given a chance to explain!

No, what exactly have you misunderstood?!
Tang Yiping roared inwardly.

Oh no, I might have to call Lux or Lola over to clarify my preferences.

Wait, maybe bringing Lola's shoe cabinet back would be a good idea?

After closing the door, Old Xu immediately pressed his ear against it, listening to the sounds outside.

Then he heard a particularly deep voice mutter, "I'm sorry, sir, did I do something wrong?"

“You didn’t do anything wrong…” Tang Yiping sighed.

This is not Van Lager's fault.

Old Xu wore an incredulous expression.

How did the other party address Tang Yiping? Did they call him "Sir"?
I never expected that Hirako would have this hobby.
Young people these days are so trendy, I feel like I'm falling behind the times, right?

Upon entering his room, before Tang Yiping could even close the door, he heard Stoka say, "Woo-chio-chio?"

Is this our food? It's actually a barbarian spirit, wow, and it looks delicious!
Tang Yiping could even hear the sound of his saliva.

"My lord, do you intend to eat me?" Vanrag asked.

"Of course not," Tang Yiping quickly clarified.

Although... he did have that thought for a moment while selecting the clay figurine, after seeing it, Tang Yiping felt...

Where is the plumpness and juiciness?!
Just lie!
Is this what you call plump and juicy?
I can no longer look at the words "plump and juicy" in the eye.

"Did I do something wrong?" Van Lager said. "I'm delicious!"

“Mmm, yes, yes, their barbarian spirits are delicious. My grandfather has eaten them…” Stoka said.

Your grandfather really ate it? He has such good teeth. Wait, don't talk nonsense!

Tang Yiping glared at Stoka and said to Van Lager:
"Don't worry, I'll only consider eating you if you can't teach me how to count fractions."

After all, a "Universal Barbarian" who can't be a good tutor isn't a good cleanup team member!

“Then I will definitely try my best to make you eat me, after all, I’m the worst at teaching people!” Vanrag showed a rare bit of confidence.

Tang Yiping: "???"

Are you kidding me?

I asked you to teach me fractions, and you said you would try your best not to teach me. Is that true?
Besides, your values ​​are completely wrong, you little clay figure! Your worldview is distorted to the extreme!
Why do you want me to eat you?
Let's have a good talk about this, and then you can quickly teach me Mathematical Analysis III!
Tang Yiping closed the door.

Across the street, Old Xu, hiding behind the door, once again wore an incredulous expression. What had he just heard?!

What was eaten?

What are young people playing these days?
Why is it becoming increasingly difficult for me to understand?

Hirako doesn't seem like that kind of person!
Sure enough, Hirako went crazy because he couldn't learn mathematical analysis...

Alas, poor child.

In Tang Yiping's room, Van Lager was either "squatting" or "lying" on the floor—it's hard to say, it depends on how you look at it.

He held the textbook "Mathematical Analysis III" in both hands and flipped through it.

It would be really difficult not to teach Lord Li Ke Boren something so easy.

It's hard.

So you're going to get eaten, aren't you!

Wait, it seems like if you can't teach yourself how to avoid being eaten?

???

Even with his multidimensional cognitive abilities, Van Lag was momentarily confused, wondering whether he should teach or not, and how he would be eaten.

He had no intention of commenting on Lord Li Ke Boren's strange request.

After all, as a food reserve and loyal servant, all he needed to do was go through fire and water for his master, or simply wash himself and lie on the plate; he didn't need any opinions or evaluations.

Moreover, every terrorist has their own unique quirks. Just as Lord Oren-56 enjoys eating his subordinates, it is normal for Lord Li Ke Boren to have his subordinates teach him things. This may be related to their abilities and authority.

No, no, no, Van Lager, you've overstepped your bounds!

How dare they speculate on Lord Li Ke Boren's abilities!

This is beyond your comprehension! Focus on teaching Mr. Li Ke Boren, then obediently wait to be eaten—that is your mission and destiny.

You are just food, moving from one plate to another.

I thought I had escaped this fate...

At this moment, Van Lager's heart was actually quite turbulent, but he quickly suppressed it deep within his heart.

My fate is unimportant; obedience and patience are enough...

Wait a minute, did I just misunderstand something again?
Should I teach him or not? Will I be eaten or not?
Is it easier to teach or not to teach?

Van Lager was once again lost in confusion.

"Is it okay? Can you teach me now?" Tang Yiping asked hopefully.

“Of course, we can start anytime,” Van Lager said.

He had fought against his own relatives and against the rebel army; he had never shown mercy.

He will not be lenient with Mathematical Analysis III.

As long as it's an adult's order.

He never needed to consider the outcome.

Whether you are eaten or not, there is no need to distinguish; just accept it calmly.

More than half an hour later, Van Lager discovered...

Lord Li Ke Boren is really difficult to teach.

He had a premonition that he was destined to fail and be eaten.

But... it probably won't be eaten anytime soon.

The question is, is Lord Li Ke Boren really a terrorist?

No, I should say that even in the midst of terrorism, Lord Li Ke Boren is probably an extremely powerful being, after all, his hobby is really too difficult.

This power and obsession with not being swayed by the church is too strong!

How can someone make themselves unable to learn something so simple?
What exactly is his ability? It seems so puzzling and abstract.

That must be terrifying!

Terrorism, it's terrifying!
……

The roar of Oren-56 still echoed in the terrorist communication channel.

Someone jumped out and said, "What? Someone forcibly transferred a team member from your team, and with zero points? Is that even possible?"

"Under normal circumstances, this would be unlikely, but have you heard? The Staff-Bearer module has been activated again."

"The one wielding the staff?! How is that possible? Could there be a traitor among us?"

"He's not a traitor, after all, wielding the staff is just a punishment. If the sword-wielder module is activated, that would be terrifying... but someone is going to be in trouble."

"Hahaha, maybe I can move up one more spot and then I can break into the top ten!"

"You're overthinking it. You're too young to know the consequences of activating the Staff-Bearer module last time. If any of you had overstepped your bounds even slightly, you would have been severely injured, if not killed..."

"What? It could actually be the Staff Bearer? No wonder I couldn't refuse at all..." Oren-56 was startled, his original rage vanished, and he even felt a little relieved. "This Staff Bearer has good taste. He's taken away the barbarian spirit feast that I've carefully nurtured for so long. Could he be a fellow traveler?"

Then he chuckled and said, "I wonder who triggered the Staff Bearer module. I feel like a lot of delicious food will be created in the process. My feast is here!"

Silas-19 remained hidden in the channel, spying on the screen, showing no intention of speaking.

But a warning bell had already rung in my heart.

The man with the cane?
Has my behavior really been discovered?
If not the person wielding the cane, who could have such authority?

What should I do now?
Could it be that Li Ke Boren is the one who wields the staff? Otherwise, how can it be explained that he has the authority to carry out terrorist activities, but does not have a terrorist identification number?

As expected... we still need to send out a prosthetic body to see for ourselves... I hope that the prosthetic body's disguise and encryption module will not be breached.

Or... should I tuck my tail between my legs and run away, never to cross that line again?
……

In the Qiming Barrier-Free Communication Group, Du Qiming, an elderly man, kept his word and wrote a six-foot banner.

Kaiwu: A calligraphy work.jpg
Kaiwu: "Everyone, take a look at my banner and see how it looks!"

The first thing I wanted to say about Xu Songnian was to complain.

No, who do you intend to show this to?
Who in this group can actually see this?

Well, it's not that no one can see it at all. Some people have weak vision and can still see a few pixels if they put their eyes close to the screen.

So, not long after, someone in the group praised him:

"The old man's calligraphy on this banner is so elegant and skillful that it has reached a level of perfection!"

"The old man's calligraphy has not deteriorated at all due to his eyesight problems; on the contrary, it has improved again. Indeed, the mind is more powerful than the eyes!"

"The old man could start his own school of thought! Just as Yan Zhenqing and Liu Gongquan were great in ancient times, Du Fu is great in modern times!"

The old man was being modest in the group chat, but he was actually quite proud of himself.

As everyone knows, the old man dislikes flattery the most, unless it's for praising his calligraphy.

Everyone has a weakness. Even Mr. Du Qiming, who was upright, incorruptible, and had a stubborn temper, was as hard as a rock in a latrine.

But... who does it bother if I give a compliment?

Therefore, even Xu Songnian praised it a few times:

Long Night Undawn: "The old man's calligraphy has truly become more and more refined."

The main point is to compare ourselves to ourselves, right? We're not just talking nonsense here.

Besides, so what if I'm just talking nonsense? I'm blind anyway.

Kaiwu: "You all have great insight. Today, I was so excited and inspired that I wrote my masterpiece. Only such a masterpiece can express my gratitude to Tang. Tomorrow, I will bring a banner to the school and deliver it to him in person. Nothing else can adequately express my gratitude or Tang's achievement!"

Everyone gave thumbs up.

Xu Songnian also sent out a bunch of thumbs-up emojis, and the whole group chat instantly became a flurry of activity.

Amidst everyone's praise, the old man gradually lost himself.

Kaiwu: "Here are some more photos for you to enjoy from multiple angles!"

On the screen, which is not visible to everyone, there is a piece of calligraphy that is difficult for screen reader software to read—a work of calligraphy with flowing, flamboyant strokes.

Ten large characters were written on it:

"Holding a staff to break through the long night, with benevolence to help countless families."

Below is the inscription: "Respectfully presented by blind worker Du Qiming to Mr. Tang Yiping. Mr. Tang's kindness in helping people with his cane is like giving them a second life."

(End of this chapter)