Who would study psychology if they didn't have some kind of problem?

Chapter 612 is not limited to personal risks.

Sure enough, after bombarding the visitor with a long string of technical terms, a slightly more colloquial metaphor followed, and the visitor finally understood.

Her slightly unfocused gaze refocused.

The visitor muttered to himself, "Simulated faith... crashed?"

Then, something began to light up in her eyes, as if something had finally broken through the fog and emerged.

“Yes… I do have a similar feeling.” The visitor nodded happily to Nan Zhuren. “It’s like, you’re doing something and then you don’t know what to do next. Now you’re stuck, not knowing whether to go forward or back…”

Under Nan Zhuren's guidance, she finally became aware of her current situation.

Nan Zhuren was inwardly pleased with the change in his visitor. Of course, he maintained a calm smile on his face.

Nan Zhuren nodded in affirmation of the visitor's judgment, and then gave a further explanation: "Right now, on the one hand, you can't return to your firm position as a social worker; on the other hand, you haven't truly become a member of the faith community of those elderly people and integrated into their environment."

Nan Zhuren said with a sigh, "This state of being suspended in mid-air, unable to move forward or backward, is the most exhausting and painful."

The visitor nodded repeatedly, like a chicken pecking at rice: "Yes, yes, that's right. That's how I feel right now."

Nan Zhuren then changed the subject, saying, "Of course, this doesn't mean your previous efforts in advanced empathy were meaningless. We will not, and should not, deny the efforts you made—because those efforts were indeed meaningful."

Nan Zhuren looked into the visitor's eyes: "What we need to do now is help you recalibrate the 'degree' of empathy, so that you can stand firmly back on the side you should be on."

……

Now that the visitor's emotions have stabilized, the next step is to solve the problem.

Nan Zhuren's suggestion once again precisely struck at the visitor's desire.

She desperately wanted to change the status quo.

"What should I do?" the visitor asked anxiously. "I'm even a little afraid to go back to my work area now... I get nervous when I see what those grandpas and grandmas are doing."

In a sense, the visitor's condition is the reason why she filed this case and needed Nan Zhuren to provide psychological intervention.

For visitors who are in a dilemma due to cognitive dissonance, Nan Zhuren had already prepared an intervention plan in his mind.

Nan Zhuren said, "Next, let's do a cognitive anchoring exercise together."

"Imagine you have to go to your workplace tomorrow to distribute supplies and reconnect with those elderly people, and they happen to be discussing the 'Dragon King' topic. When you feel the pressure of that environment again, silently ask yourself a few questions. These questions are the 'anchors' you can hold onto in the storm."

Nan Zhuren's first sentence made the visitor involuntarily quiet down, and even his lips pursed nervously.

Clearly, some images had formed in her mind.

“Anchor?” she repeated the metaphor that Nan Zhuren had used at the end.

Nan Zhuren nodded: "To put it another way. Hasn't your brain 'crashed'? Now, we need to write a new program into it to reboot your brain—and this process requires solving these problems."

The visitor nodded and quickly asked, "What's the problem?"

Looking at the visitor's expression, Nan Zhuren stretched out his right hand and placed it on the left side of his chest, making a "self-examination" gesture.

“The first question—” Nan Zhuren said slowly, “'Are my feelings right now mine, or theirs?'”

……

The moment the visitor heard this question, their expression changed.

Nan Zhuren paused for a moment, then continued to explain: "Empathy is also a problem that we psychotherapists often encounter in the counseling process. Empathy is a skill that can help us communicate better with clients, but sometimes it can also hurt the counselor himself."

"At times like these, we need to differentiate our emotions."

Nan Zhuren kept his right hand over his heart: "When I feel panic, sadness, or even physical abnormalities, we should ask ourselves—does this emotion, this sadness, come from within myself?"

"If not, it is more likely that during the process of empathy, I received emotional signals from others—for you, it means being affected by the disaster victims."

“At this point, we need to recognize it, and then treat it like a guest, let it exist, but don’t let it occupy our entire mind and body.”

This self-questioning about the source of emotions originates from the application of the cognitive dissociation technique in cognitive behavioral therapy. It involves self-guided differentiation between "my" and "others'" emotions, establishing emotional boundaries, and avoiding being completely overwhelmed by the emotions of others.

The visitor mechanically muttered to himself, "Does this emotion originate from within me? Does this emotion originate from within me? This emotion..."

Her cognitive resources have indeed reached a low point, and she is no longer able to comprehend things well.

However, out of trust in Nan Zhuren, she learned and remembered Nan Zhuren's opinions without reservation.

Nan Zhuren forced a smile, feeling a mixture of helplessness and pity. He then flipped through the folder and handed over a pen and two sheets of A4 paper.

He looked at the visitor and added, "It's indeed difficult for us to memorize so much at once, and it's also hard to come to the realization and ask ourselves these questions when we first face that scene. So you can write these questions down first."

"Keep one piece of paper in your dorm room and practice every night to clear your mind of the day's emotions; carry another piece of paper with you so you can take it out and reflect on yourself whenever you're at work."

The visitor nodded repeatedly, took the paper and pen from Nan Zhuren, and began to write.

brush brush --

"It's finished, Professor Nan." The visitor looked up eagerly. "What's the second question?"

……

Nan Zhuren organized her thoughts: "The second question—what is my professional role? What can I do and should I do right now?"

After speaking, Nan Zhuren paused for a moment.

After the visitor finished taking notes word for word, he explained: "Your role is not to become a psychic or theologian to verify the authenticity of the 'Dragon King.' You are a disaster relief worker, a stable and reliable supporter of reality."

“What you can do is make sure the elderly have something to eat, keep them dry, and help them access medical resources. You need to shift your focus from vague ‘miracles’ back to concrete, controllable matters.” Nan Zhuren concluded: “Action is the best weapon against feelings of powerlessness.”

The principle behind this self-questioning is to shift the client's attention from uncontrollable internal experiences to controllable external behaviors by clearly defining the boundaries and specific responsibilities of their professional role. This is an application of the "behavioral activation" technique, which aims to rebuild a sense of control and self-efficacy through meaningful actions.

The visitor was too concerned about "the elderly's understanding" and "integration into the group," and neglected their own job duties.

Nan Zhuren hopes to use this question to bring himself back on track when the visitor's thinking goes astray.

It's no wonder that the counselor gave so many negative comments when creating her file. Judging from the client's current reaction, she must have been reprimanded before.

In terms of her actions, although her sense of responsibility led to everything that is now, looking back objectively at the whole matter, she did indeed fail to prioritize in her work.

Nan Zhuren emphasized: "You are a social worker at the resettlement site. What you can do are practical things. Distributing supplies, keeping records, contacting doctors... It doesn't matter if you don't communicate well with the elderly people."

Nan Zhuren took a deep breath: "You don't need to become them, nor do you need to integrate into their lives. You just need to provide stable and warm support. This leads to the third question you need to ask yourself, and also the most important one—"

After taking a deep breath, Nan Zhuren looked into the visitor's eyes: "Can 'I' allow myself not to understand? Can 'I' allow myself not to be understood?"

This question surprised the visitor.

Her pen paused unconsciously as she wrote, and she murmured repeatedly, "Allow myself... not to understand, and not to be understood?"

Nan Zhuren nodded: "Yes, that's something we psychological counselors sometimes have to ask ourselves."

Nan Zhuren unconsciously pressed his hand against his chest: "Is it acceptable to admit that some things are beyond our personal understanding, to admit that the secrets behind a certain cultural phenomenon may not be fully understood?"

"Does an excellent helper have to fully understand the inner world of the person they are helping in order to provide effective assistance?"

"If we don't try to understand, then when we help others, they might not understand us either. In that case, will our help still be effective?"

After asking this series of questions, Nan Zhuren paused for a moment.

This is such a profound question that even visitors with already scarce cognitive resources can't help but ponder it carefully.

After a long silence, the visitor let out a long sigh: "I... I always thought that to do a good job, you have to understand them and get along with them... That's what many training sessions say, and that's what some senior speakers share..."

The visitor suddenly looked up at Nan Zhuren: "But that's not how it is in reality, is it?"

Nan Zhuren nodded: "That's not how it is."

“True respect includes accepting ‘misunderstanding’. I respect that their world has its own logic. I don’t need to force my way in, nor do I need to demand that I fully understand it. I just need to be there and offer the support I can.”

"This is not about giving up on empathy, but about learning how to empathize safely. I haven't betrayed my profession, but rather gained a deeper understanding of its boundaries."

This self-question is a Socratic question, aimed at clarifying values.

Through a series of guiding questions, Nan Zhuren helped the client accept the key concept of "allowing for non-understanding," freeing her from the irrational belief that "complete understanding is necessary."

In addition to "lack of understanding", visitors must also accept the accompanying "lack of understanding".

One major reason why visitors become so immersed in learning about folk beliefs is that they are under the dual predicament of being "not understood by the disaster-stricken people" and "not understood by the leaders," which depletes their self-esteem to the point where they need to seek spiritual support.

Fortunately, it was discovered in time, and Nan Zhuren intervened promptly.

The visitor pondered for a moment, then silently took notes.

After confirming with Nan Zhuren that there were no more questions, she recited the three questions again under Nan Zhuren's guidance and conducted a simulated self-questioning and answering exercise.

Out of caution, Nan Zhuren began the final step: "Alright, now, can we work together to develop a simple and feasible plan for your 'return'? For example, tomorrow when you return to work, you will no longer focus on the skin care and rituals of the elderly, but will only concentrate on completing three specific, small tasks?"

……

After a series of knowledge instruction and planning consultations.

The visitor left the simple consultation room with a refreshed expression.

The staff waiting outside witnessed the change in the visitor and showed expressions of amazement.

After the visitor disappeared, he couldn't help but call out to Nan Zhuren, "Teacher Nan, who's next?"

However, Nan Zhuren said, "Wait a minute, don't rush to call the next one."

Inside the consultation room, Nan Zhuren watched the visitor leave. The warm, professional smile on his face gradually faded.

It wasn't that I was tired, or that I was dissatisfied with the outcome of this consultation.

Instead, he discovered something else.

Nan Zhuren came with the research team to participate in a psychological assistance project in the disaster area. Although Bai Qinghua and Weng Pingting allowed Nan Zhuren to conduct one-on-one interventions, this did not mean that Nan Zhuren allowed herself to be isolated from the work of the others.

In addition to providing psychological intervention, Nan Zhuren also hopes to contribute as much as possible to the psychological support organization system that his senior brothers and sisters are currently building together—even though Bai Qinghua and the others don't think Nan Zhuren has the capacity to do so.

At that moment, Nan Zhuren noticed something amiss with the visitor named Wang Lili.

The problems she encountered can indeed be reduced to a personal level.

However, when the perspective transcends the personal, Nan Zhuren made new discoveries.

A problem that is no longer limited to individuals but exists within groups, and is present in the current psychological assistance efforts in disaster areas.

Nan Zhuren rubbed his temples, feeling a headache coming on, and unconsciously muttered a word to himself.

Is it "mass hysteria"?

"The risks are indeed quite significant..."

(End of this chapter)