Who would study psychology if they didn't have some kind of problem?

Chapter 518 Under normal circumstances, he wouldn't think about these things, much less say them.

After listening to Nan Zhuren's words, the visitor began to write for a long time.

At first, his brushstrokes were rather hesitant; after about five minutes, the speed suddenly increased, and the "swish, swish, swish" sound was incessant.

That feeling was comparable to the efficiency of writing the final essay in the Chinese college entrance examination.

Ten minutes later, he gradually slowed down.

Five minutes later, the visitor finally let out a long sigh of relief.

"call--"

The visitor pushed aside the two densely packed sheets of paper, revealing an exhausted expression.

He shook his wrist, rubbed his eyes a couple of times, and then glanced subconsciously at the wall clock: "Teacher, I'm done writing... Ah, has it been that long already?"

The entire process of writing this "debate draft" took more than twenty minutes.

Nan Zhuren gently waved his hand to indicate that it was alright: "Our goal today is to perform the [Empty Chair Technique] completely. I don't have any further consultations afterward, so we can extend the time as appropriate."

This words of comfort put the visitor at ease.

Nan Zhuren then reached out and picked up the "debate draft" of the "ideal self" that the interviewee had just finished writing.

There's no need to look at the specific content, because Nan Zhuren had been reading it the whole time the visitor was writing, and he practically knew the content by heart.

He pointed towards the sofa and instructed the visitor on the next step of the consultation: "Next, we will conduct a debate based on this debate draft."

"Can I play your ideal self, and you play your real self?"

This is the most important part of Nan Zhuren's "empty chair technique" this time.

The previous two stages involve making the client's internal conflict an observable object, initiating therapeutic self-dissociation, and allowing the client to examine the internal war about "self" as an observer.

Now, the visitor is allowed to return to their own battlefield after the observer has seen everything. First, detach, observe, and then re-engage.

But now, visitors are no longer as lost as before. Under Nan Zhuren's guidance, visitors will be able to bypass rationalization defenses through role-playing, thereby experiencing the present moment, releasing emotions, and achieving integration.

……

After more than twenty minutes of intense thinking and work, the visitor's reaction was a beat slower.

This is also a good time to change our perceptions.

It is not through "thinking" that cognition is corrected, but through "experience".

After so many consultations, the visitors are more or less able to understand what Nan Zhuren's purpose is in taking this step.

He first picked up the water glass next to him, drank half of it in one gulp, and then nodded: "Okay, teacher."

He then walked straight to the sofa on the right and plopped heavily onto the green cushion.

Nan Zhuren could sense the expectation faintly revealed in the visitor's eyes.

After sitting on the sofa on the left, Nan Zhuren deliberately placed the gray cushion and the first piece of paper with only the words "I am getting further and further away from you" on her lap, keeping them constantly exposed to the visitor's sight.

The counselor looked at the client with a calm yet encouraging gaze.

The consultation room was quiet for a moment. There was a pause of about two breaths, as if someone was gathering their emotions.

Then Nan Zhuren broke the silence by raising his hand and saying, "Zhihao, let's begin."

……

The visitor took a deep breath, his eyes darting around unconsciously, and said to Nan Zhuren, "I'm getting further and further away from you."

Nan Zhuren's posture, expression, and tone remained unchanged, as if she were reading a monotone sentence: "Because you could have avoided all of this."

The visitor had already started to speak and was about to continue, but when he heard another person say those words, he still involuntarily paused for a moment.

Then, gritting his teeth, he tilted his head, closed his eyes, and said, "I... wanted to help. I know the other side is a scammer, and I know my comrade has already been fooled. I thought I could bring the criminals to justice and help my comrade get justice..."

Nan Zhuren gently shook his head: "But you failed, didn't you? You were too arrogant. Not only did you not help others, you also got yourself into trouble."

The visitor paused again, as if he hadn't yet adapted to this form of dialogue, or as if he had been stung by Nan Zhuren's words.

The visitor then lowered his head and said, "Yes, I was too arrogant. I'm not as capable as I thought."

In this part of the dialogue, the "ideal self" is constantly criticizing, while the "real self" is constantly reflecting on its own actions.

This is also what the visitor wrote down after thinking hard and hesitating for the first five minutes.

Nan Zhuren glanced at the manuscript in his hand, then quickly put it down and continued, "You have ruined the image I have built up over the years. I studied so hard, endured so much hardship in the army, and then lived in seclusion for almost a year before finally passing the postgraduate entrance exam. I was originally the most educated member of my family, and also the oldest, most experienced, and most composed classmate in my class."

This was a long passage, and Nan Zhuren continued, "Before this happened, I was very popular. The teachers liked me, my classmates always invited me to events, and several girls would approach me. But now? Everything is gone—"

“Because of you, I am now ignored by everyone.” Nan Zhuren stopped reading in a monotone tone and instead added emotion little by little, guiding the visitor to gradually empathize. “And this kind of life will continue for more than two years. Is this the graduate student life you originally envisioned? Maybe it was, but it won’t be anymore.”

This passage is quite long.

Also very interesting.

The concept of "ideal self" here is somewhat confused, seemingly mixed with a part of the client's "real self"—the part of the "real self" that existed before the traumatic event.

During the visitor's writing process, it was here that the visitor's writing speed began to increase.

The response from the visitor's written "real self" consisted of only a few simple words: But I am the victim, it's not my fault.

But at the moment.

The visitor pursed his lips and looked up: "But I'm the victim, aren't I? Shouldn't the fraud ring be the ones truly at fault?"

……

Nan Zhuren suppressed a smile, preventing herself from laughing.

Normally, when the visitor is in their own mind, they might not even have the thought, "But I am the victim, this is not my fault."

Even if it appears, it's fleeting, and then the mind will sink into self-criticism.

But today, after using the "empty chair technique" to externalize the two "selves," Nan Zhuren specifically told the visitor to write about the "communication" between the two selves, and even—the "debate."

(End of this chapter)