Who would study psychology if they didn't have some kind of problem?

Chapter 418: A Consultative Relationship Built Primarily on the Theme of "Confrontation"
Nan Zhuren added: "I believe you've also experienced things like 'losing an argument,' 'unacceptable behavior,' and 'if only I hadn't done it that way' that you just mentioned... things that make you 'frustrated'."

Nan Zhuren softened his words slightly, but then emphasized them again: "It might even be something you'll 'regret' about."

"What exactly is it?"

The visitor's mask suddenly puffed up a few more times because of a deep breath.

This mask is really in the way; it covers most of the other person's facial expression.

Fortunately, Nan Zhuren was able to glean a lot from the other person's eyes and body language.

The visitor was seen leaning forward with his elbows on his thighs, clearly putting more pressure on himself, so much so that his elbows pressed two dents and a series of wrinkles into his pants.

At the same time, he pushed his shoulders forward forcefully, but his chin retracted.

"Is it time to tell the story now?" the visitor asked Nan Zhuren.

Would you like to hear about the specific things in my daily life? Would you like me to share some of my innermost thoughts?

Nan Zhuren spread his hands out, palms facing forward, making a "relax" gesture.

"If this makes you feel uncomfortable, then we can stop for a moment."

The consultant strategically took a step back.

“Of course I feel uncomfortable!” The visitor quickly followed up on Nan Zhuren’s retreat, saying, “This is my first time here today. I paid such an expensive consultation fee and waited so long. I need to know if you have the right to let me say these things, right?”

But what Nan Zhuren wanted was this kind of blind, unplanned progress.

"The confidentiality agreement you signed, even if you won't tell anyone, isn't it not something that can be discussed by just anyone?"

"Isn't the 'insomnia' problem more important to us now? If we can sleep well at night, won't we be able to concentrate better during the day?"

For every sentence the visitor spoke, Nan Zhuren would nod once.

And it was from this moment that the most crucial standoff began.

Do you think the problem of insomnia is more important?

"Of course!"

Nan Zhuren continued to nod, indicating that he had received the visitor's emotions and suggestions.

Then, very suddenly...

"You think the problem of insomnia is more important, but have you noticed that when you just talked about the problem of insomnia, you only used one simple sentence to describe your situation?"

"When you said that, you were leaning back in your chair, arms crossed, and completely nonchalant."

"But when it came to the problem of difficulty concentrating, you talked a lot, using long descriptions and examples, as well as your own feelings."

“In this process, you are very close to me, you look directly at me, you are more engaged, and you want me to listen to your point of view.”

Have you noticed?

The visitor, Nan Zhihao, was stunned.

“We often say that ‘those involved are often confused, while bystanders see clearly.’ There are some things in our hearts that we are not aware of ourselves, that are covered up by other thoughts. But these things will show up in our daily language and behavior, which is also the significance of psychological counseling.”

Nan Zhuren rested his elbows on the sofa armrests, interlaced his fingers, and placed them in front of his chest.

“You think the problem of insomnia is more important, and that you can concentrate during the day if you sleep well at night, which makes sense logically.”

Nan Zhuren affirmed the visitor's previous statement and took another step back, but this step was to build up strength.

"But as we just said, the underlying causes of each person's 'symptoms' are different."

"For you, the reason you can't concentrate during the day is because you're thinking about things. And you'll still be thinking about these things at night."

Is it possible that your insomnia is also caused by this behavior of repeatedly 'thinking about things'?

Could the reasons that cause your difficulty concentrating also be the reasons that cause your insomnia?

Nan Zhuren looked at Nan Zhihao, the visitor who shared the same surname as him.

Watching the other person's gaze gradually freeze. Watching their shoulders suddenly tighten and then slowly slump down.

The standoff was successful.

……

This kind of confrontation may seem aggressive, but it is actually part of building a consultative relationship.

Unlike Nan Zhuren's previous approach of using humanistic methods such as "positive concern" and "support," different approaches are suitable for different clients.

Of course, Nan Zhihao could be approached using a more humanistic approach, but based on his performance since entering the consultation room and his background information, the current method would be relatively inefficient.

For Nan Zhihao, a single complete consultation might not be enough to gain his trust using the "human-centered" approach. In fact, the lack of a stable consultation relationship might even prevent him from coming for the next consultation.

Therefore, Nan Zhuren chose the current method.

It appears to be very effective.

The consultation didn't go smoothly today. There was a crucial question that should have been asked from the beginning, but Nan Zhuren hasn't asked it yet.

Now is a good time.

"You mentioned before that you were preparing your graduation thesis, so I'm guessing that's the reason for your insomnia?"

The visitor nodded, but then paused: "That might only be part of the reason..."

The visitor did not provide a further explanation as to the specific reason.

Nan Zhuren said, "In other words, you yourself have a concept in your mind that your problems with insomnia and difficulty concentrating have a specific time point in time, right?"

The visitor hesitated for a moment, then nodded.

"How long have they been there?"

"Five months."

The answer was quick.

too fast.

It's as if they've been consciously calculating time all along.

Nan Zhuren understood that he had touched on something core.

He looked into the visitor's eyes: "Did anything particularly important happen five months ago?"

……

hiss--

Take a deep breath.

The visitor made this gesture.

He was breathing so hard that Nan Zhuren could see that the mask was almost touching the visitor's face, outlining his features.

The occurrence of difficulty breathing is therefore quite logical.

The visitor quickly adjusted his mask, seemingly trying to give himself more space, but couldn't quite manage it.

After hesitating for a moment, he took off his mask.

Half of his face was covered in sweat.

Spring has passed and summer has arrived, so wearing a mask all the time is inappropriate.

The face beneath the mask, while not particularly handsome, was at least square-shaped.

The visitor wiped his face and said to Nan Zhuren, "Teacher Nan, may I first talk about the things I think about when I can't concentrate?"

“Of course.” Nan Zhuren nodded.

(End of this chapter)