Who would study psychology if they didn't have some kind of problem?

Chapter 392 The Underlying Logic of the Bullied
Xu Pengcheng's narrative reveals a layer of logic.

In Xu Pengcheng's mind, being bullied and excessive dieting are both behaviors that achieve the same goal.

At present, Xu Pengcheng believes that being bullied is acceptable and reasonable.

If we now overturn the legitimacy of "being bullied" in Xu Pengcheng's mind, we can solve the problem of "excessive dieting" at the same time.

This was an unexpected discovery, but also an excellent one.

In the current reality.

Although the bullying of Xu Pengcheng has been curbed, the "trauma" caused by bullying will not disappear just because bullying has stopped, given past cases of school bullying.

Therefore, in Nan Zhuren's counseling program, the trauma caused by Xu Pengcheng's bullying also needs to be addressed.

However, the consultations were prioritized based on their urgency. Nan Zhuren originally planned to address Xu Pengcheng's "excessive dieting" issue first, and then his "bullying trauma" issue.

Right now, they seem to be intertwined, and therefore can be resolved together.

It must be said, this is an opportunity.

……

Nan Zhuren thought for a moment and organized his thoughts.

He continued to follow Xu Pengcheng's narrative, delving deeper based on Xu Pengcheng's words.

"You just said that when your teammates 'give' you extra training, your body feels uncomfortable, but your mind feels good."

"Can you use precise words to describe how uncomfortable you feel, and how you feel better?"

Nan Zhuren offers a method of "reflective listening".

"The exact word?" Xu Pengcheng pretended to think, but didn't seem to have a clear direction.

“Yes.” Nan Zhuren nodded and gave examples, “For example, ‘feeling good’ can mean ‘relieved,’ ‘happy,’ ‘relaxed,’ or ‘comfortable’; ‘feeling bad’ can mean ‘sad,’ ‘resentful,’ or ‘fearful’.”

Xu Pengcheng then found his direction.

The student's gaze shifted away from the counselor's, and their breathing rhythm involuntarily began to change.

First, hold your breath for a moment, then take a deep breath, and then breathe rapidly in and out.

After a while.

“The physical discomfort is like being ‘tired’ and ‘in pain’,” Xu Pengcheng replied. “The mental comfort is that I feel a little ‘lighter’. It’s like I feel less guilty.”

Are there any other feelings?

Nan Zhuren continued to press for answers at a rapid pace; this step was crucial.

Hiss-whoosh-hiss-whoosh-hiss——

In the quiet consultation room, Xu Pengcheng's breathing was clearly audible and grew louder and louder.

"Deep down, there must still be some sadness..."

Nan Zhuren nodded: "Mm."

This time, the counselor did not provide any further feedback or follow-up questions, but simply nodded in response to indicate that she was listening.

This allows for sufficient space in the dialogue, while also building a bridge for further thought, allowing Xu Pengcheng to continue.

Return the topic to the visitor.

"If I had to describe it in one word... it would probably be feeling wronged."

The nearly 1.9-meter-tall man curled up and said, "I can't really explain this uncomfortable feeling. It's more like a jumble of random thoughts..."

Nan Zhuren continued, "Perhaps we can sort out these ideas?"

The ideas have already surfaced in the mind, so the visitor needs to put in extra effort to retrieve them completely, express them, and present them in front of them, instead of letting them be swept away again by the turbulent flow of thought.

After hearing Nan Zhuren's words, Xu Pengcheng pursed his lips tightly—so tightly that it involved the muscles on both sides of his cheeks, creating an expression that resembled a "smile." "Actually, I know that when everyone 'helps' me with extra practice, it looks like they're 'bullying' me..."

“Sometimes when classmates pass by the playground and see me, they will come over and ask me a couple of questions. I can tell from their words.”

Nan Zhuren nodded: "Mm."

Leave blank space.

But Xu Pengcheng didn't answer this time.

So Nan Zhuren paused for two seconds and then engaged in another reflective listening session: "Is there anything similar to what your classmates saw? Like—bullying?"

Xu Pengcheng pursed his lips tightly and gritted his teeth.

"A little bit. I know everyone is saying it's to help me with extra training, but the movements are somewhat unnecessary... I didn't consciously control them."

Nan Zhuren launched a [confirmational resistance]: "So you also know that they bullied you during extra training, right?"

call--

Xu Pengcheng let out a heavy sigh and finally nodded.

"You just said you have a lot of 'ideas,' are they the idea that they 'bully you'?"

"Yes." Xu Pengcheng clasped his hands together, his fingers interlaced and gripping tightly.

"Well, even though it's bullying, I think at least... we're still friends, and that's one way to get along. It's better for them to bully me than to ignore me and make me practice alone."

Nan Zhuren made a thoughtful expression, pursing her lips slightly while nodding rapidly and in a low voice.

"You feel that being bullied is better than being isolated or ignored. At least in this situation, you still have contact with each other and are still 'friends'."

“Yes,” Xu Pengcheng replied.

This answer may sound absurd or even counterintuitive, but it does contain a reasonable internal logic.

In Maslow's hierarchy of needs, the need for belonging and love is ranked third, and people are more motivated to pursue this need than to pursue the need for esteem.

The theory of social identity also suggests that the human need for a sense of belonging to a group is rooted in evolutionary instincts, and isolation can trigger existential anxiety. This is especially true during adolescence, when peer identification is a crucial source of self-worth.

Similarly, there are the effects caused by factors such as [collectivist cultural pressure].

In some Japanese literary and artistic works, there is a joke about "friendship fees"—but it is actually a real thing.

Xu Pengcheng, as a victim of bullying, was able to endure the bullying for so long and even speak up for the bullies.

It's normal to have this kind of thought.

This is not over yet.

"Moreover, I couldn't pass the physical fitness test no matter what I did. The coach often criticized me for being 'unmotivated,' 'having a bad attitude,' 'not caring about the team,' and 'deliberately dragging down the average score,' and so on..."

“I could sense that people had a negative opinion of me because of this, and started to really hate me.”

"I was also thinking of using this bullying method to train harder and not eat, to show my attitude."

"Over time, people should be able to understand me..."

Nan Zhuren pursed her lips and nodded.

He hummed in agreement and looked at Xu Pengcheng.

Seeing that the student looked up and met his gaze, no longer thinking, and expecting a response from him.

It's clear that Xu Pengcheng has already expressed his thoughts.

Nan Zhuren breathed a sigh of relief.

(End of this chapter)