Who would study psychology if they didn't have some kind of problem?

Chapter 249: People-pleasing personality

Identify problems, record them, analyze their underlying patterns and logic, and then solve them now and prevent them from happening in the future.

Nan Zhuren's statement is very much in line with the research thinking in psychology.

The crowd, who had just been discussing several major news items, lowered their voices and turned their attention back to the main topic.

Private discussions can take place anytime, but right now it's more important to listen to other people's analytical approaches and thought processes.

Nan Zhuren's voice regained its composure, becoming deep and steady: "First of all—"

Nan Zhuren lightly tapped the laser pointer, switching to a title page: "An Analysis of the Causes of Smiling Depression".

Then, switch to another PowerPoint presentation.

The screen switched, no longer displaying cold text, but instead showing screenshots.

Screenshot from a personal Weibo post.

"These screenshots are from the visitor's Weibo side account. She uses this account as her 'confessional space' and records her life in the form of a personal diary."

This was even more attention-grabbing than Song typeface, and driven by a certain desire for exploration and voyeurism, everyone's attention was drawn even closer.

[Photos: Group photo with the school's main gate bearing the inscription "Jiangdu University," and group photo with the college gate's "College of Arts" sign.]

At Xiaohui's suggestion, I'm starting to record my life again. From today onwards, I'll treat this place as another version of myself.

Pretend it's the first day of school and take a photo with your long-awaited "alma mater".

Although I still want to study medicine and become an excellent adult like my dad, there must be a reason why he wanted me to study Chinese language and literature. I will try my best to find enjoyment in my major!

This is the first screenshot.

[Photo: Working at a bubble tea shop, with pink bandages on her left thumb and forefinger]
Seventh day of covering for my senior who was on sick leave!
Remember these 128 secrets to customizing your sweetness level!

Adding more syrup means less complaining!

This is the second screenshot.

[(Nine-grid photos: shopping plaza/food/group photo at a table/group photo while strolling/photo of swallowing allergy medication)]
It was so wonderful to hang out with everyone! I was a bit lost and didn't know what to do, so I was really happy to be invited!

Although I'm allergic to chili peppers, eating them occasionally is still quite stimulating!
Of course, you should also take your medicine properly so as not to worry everyone.

Xiao Jie was also brave enough to challenge herself today!

This is the third screenshot.

(Four group photos from different club activities, all standing in the far corner)

Human observation diary.

Debate team substitute → choir harmony singer → basketball team logistics support → literary society proofreader—I'm like a sticky note, stuck in the cracks of outstanding people's lives.

Even Xiaohui was unaware that these activities were arranged!
I worked at full power for a week and even stayed up all night writing a debate script for a senior student who was stage-frightened.

Test your talents and limits!

This is the fourth screenshot.

……

The four screenshots above each occupy a portion of the PPT.

In the screenshot, the selfie portion shows the visitor's face, while other parts of the face are blurred.

"Regarding the four life segments above, I wonder what personal characteristics of the visitors can be discerned by those present."

After saying this, Nan Zhuren paused for about ten seconds, and there was a rustling sound from the audience. Of course, it wasn't time for the interactive segment yet, and Nan Zhuren wasn't expecting a response.

This is a small interactive technique for giving a speech, simply to keep the audience focused.

This also gives everyone who is looking at the PPT text and listening to Nan Zhuren's narration a little time to think.

Ten seconds later, Nan Zhuren asked and answered himself:
"From these posts on social media, we can discern the following characteristics of the visitors—"

Nan Zhuren recounted the story with great familiarity: "She admired her father and wanted to study medicine, but she easily changed her mind and wanted to actively cater to her father's demands—this is 'suppressing one's own needs'."

“Covering up for a senior student who took leave for seven consecutive days—that’s ‘over-commitment’.”

"Being happy to be invited and then eating chili peppers that you are allergic to is 'not refusing' while 'lowering your principles and bottom line'."

“Participating in multiple club activities and staying up all night writing articles for others—this is also ‘over-giving,’ which may also involve ‘not refusing.’”

offstage.

Experienced consultants already understood what Nan Zhuren was about to say.

Students from this major, as well as students and staff from other colleges who came to audit the class, were guided by Nan Zhuren to begin unraveling the final mystery.

"And all of these traits can ultimately be summed up in one characteristic, which is—'pleasing others'!"

“The most striking characteristic of our client’s interpersonal communication is that it is ‘accommodating’ communication!”

……

Virginia Satir, America's first family therapist, proposed five communication models, known as the "Satir Communication Model."

Based on statistical analysis, the five communication patterns are ranked from lowest to highest according to the percentage of each type in the total sample:

1. **[Distractor Type]:** This type accounts for approximately 0.5%. These individuals often avoid the main points in their communication, like to change the subject to distract others, and lack focus, making in-depth communication difficult.

2. [Congruent Type]: This type accounts for about 4.5%. People with this type of personality value themselves, others, and the situation. They can easily express their feelings and expectations while respecting others and the environment.

3. [Super Rational Type]: This type accounts for about 15%. People with this type of personality suppress their emotions and avoid feelings in their daily lives. They tend to focus too much on the situation and ignore their own and others' emotional needs, leading to emotional alienation.

4. [The Blaming Type]: This type accounts for 30% of the population. In communication, this type of person tends to attack others, focuses only on themselves and the environment, and shifts responsibility to others in order to avoid facing their own problems.

5. [The Compliant Type]: This type accounts for 50% of the population. People with this type of personality often ignore their own needs and only focus on others and the environment. They relieve stress by pleasing others.

Of course, due to the environment and era, the theories proposed in the United States in the last century will certainly be different in China.

However, each communication model can still serve as a template for reference when analyzing others, greatly improving the efficiency of case-based analysis of visitors.

Chen Jie, for example, fits the template of "accommodating communication" quite well.

……

Nan Zhuren continued:

"According to Satir's theory, the close relationship that parents establish with their children from an early age will affect how children communicate as they grow up, and will also affect their future survival attitude."

"At the same time, due to translation issues, it is also acceptable to replace 'catering' with 'pleasing'."

"Therefore, we can also infer the personality pattern of my clients through this communication model. To use a less academic, more everyday way of saying it, we could say that this client is—"

Nan Zhuren said, enunciating each word clearly: "Pandering, pleasing, type, person, personality."

People-pleasing personality.

(End of this chapter)