Who would study psychology if they didn't have some kind of problem?

Chapter 21 Superimposed Stress (Please continue reading)
Nan Zhuren's words startled Boss Huang, followed by a feeling of shame and anger.

[If I don't want to salvage the relationship, then why did I spend so much money and talk to you for so long?]

However, this anger did not erupt outwards.

Nan Zhuren's words seemed to have some kind of magic, leaving Boss Huang stunned on the spot.

He was less angry and more stunned.

Seeing Mr. Huang's reaction, Nan Zhuren finally showed the first genuine smile during this consultation.

However, he quickly made that smile disappear in an instant thanks to his excellent facial expression control.

Nan Zhuren said, "Next, I'm going to tell you a psychological concept called a 'stressful event.' There are many sources of stressful events, including work, life, study, and so on."

“Some stressful events can be very damaging, such as the death of a loved one or the occurrence of a natural disaster. These events can drastically change a person’s life and are called destructive stressful events.”

"But what happened to you was a different kind, called 'cumulative stress events.' It doesn't destroy your mental health all at once, but rather it appears in your life one by one, pressing down on your shoulders one by one, gradually adding weight to you."

"You won't even feel it at first, and even if you do, you won't take it seriously."

"Until one moment, the last straw that breaks the camel's back appears, completely crushing you!"

"But remember this: it's not the last stressful event that breaks you down; it's just a trigger."

From the moment Nan Zhuren began speaking, Boss Huang slowly snapped out of his daze.

Nan Zhuren asked, "When your bar wasn't doing well, were you upset?"

Mr. Huang answered instinctively, "I feel unwell."

Nan Zhuren asked, "When your 'girlfriend' wanted to leave you, you were sad, weren't you?"

"Of course it's uncomfortable."

Nan Zhuren asked the crucial question: "Between the two, which is more painful?"

Mr. Huang blinked.

Nan Zhuren continued, "Let me put it another way. If your bar hadn't run into trouble, or even thrived, would you still be so upset when your 'girlfriend' left—or rather, would you still be upset?"

Mr. Huang fell silent.

"Moreover, I think 'poorly managed bar' is definitely not just a few simple words. There must be many chain reactions involved, such as conflicts with competitors, instability among staff, and other social upheavals?"

These words struck a chord with Mr. Huang.

He sensed the understanding and nodded repeatedly.

Nan Zhuren patiently explained: "These are also your stressful events."

"So I'm saying you don't actually want to salvage the 'relationship,' or you just think you do."

"Your focus, what you should be salvaging, is your 'career'!"

Mr. Huang was struck dumb.

Nan Zhuren continued, "The reason you were able to establish your current 'relationship' with your 'girlfriend' was because your career was booming at the time; and the reason your 'emotional relationship' with your girlfriend was able to be maintained was also because your career was thriving."

"But now, your bar is in trouble."

Mr. Huang nodded affirmatively and said, "It's very difficult."

"Therefore, other difficulties followed one after another."

Nan Zhuren shook his head: "Boss Huang, your subconscious actually knows the way to break the deadlock now—that is to save your career, but you can't do it; and at this time, the original framework of your life is constantly collapsing, which makes you angry."

"You chose to pursue [relationship recovery] because, on the one hand, this is the last stressful event that has completely ruined your life; on the other hand, it is also because [relationship recovery] is the easiest stressful event you have faced to resolve."

"A career crisis is never a good thing. When a woman who used to listen to you wants to leave at this time, it makes you even angrier."

"Life makes you feel powerless, so you hope to do something to boost your confidence and regain your dignity."

"So you chose [emotional recovery]." Nan Zhuren sighed, "As for what you said about 'falling in love' and 'not being able to leave her,' it's just that you subconsciously added weight to your [emotional recovery]. Because the more important the task you accomplish, the more confidence you can regain."

"In essence, it's actually a way for you to escape from the difficulties of your current life!"

"You want to make up for the confidence you lack in your career in another area!"

"But even something as simple as [relationship recovery] seems to be beyond your capabilities, because you're now sitting in a counseling room, undergoing a psychological and emotional consultation!"

Nan Zhuren's voice was soft, yet its force was like the ringing of a bell.

Mr. Huang opened his mouth.

His mind hadn't caught up; his emotions were still stuck in the past.

He instinctively wanted to deny it, to defend his seriousness about the relationship, but in the end, he couldn't utter a single word.

After a pause, Mr. Huang said wearily, "My mind is a mess right now..."

He was silent.

Nan Zhuren breathed a sigh of relief, feeling that he had a clear understanding of his emotions.

After about twenty seconds, Mr. Huang said slowly, "Teacher Nan, this psychological counseling is very different from what I expected."

Nan Zhuren smiled: "What do you mean by psychological counseling?"

"I should be the one telling you about my difficulties, then you should comfort me, give me validation, and finally teach me how to win her back..."

"That kind of thing can be done with a barbecue, a friend, and two beers."

Nan Zhuren sincerely said, "But we are doing psychological counseling. You have paid for your time and the consultation fee, so I hope you can gain something, a real gain."

There are many different counseling styles among psychological counselors.

Some counselors only listen and don't speak, some talk more and listen less, and some even scold each of their clients until they are red in the face.

But regardless of the style of psychological counseling, there is only one standard for success—that the client gains something.

Of course, it's also because if Nan Zhuren were to simply agree, empathize, and comfort during this consultation, he wouldn't be able to do it either.

At least for now, my mind is clear.
All I can say is that this consultation was very well suited to a "scolding" style.

……

Mr. Huang gave a wry smile: "I'd like to argue with you, but right now... I'm very confused."

Nan Zhuren smiled and said, "It's alright, our consultation time is up now."

The counselor glanced at the wall clock, which had unknowingly moved almost fifty marks.

A standard psychological counseling session lasts forty minutes, but this can be adjusted depending on the situation, and may ultimately range from forty minutes to an hour.

Nan Zhuren continued to smile: "It takes time to organize your thoughts, you can think about it carefully."

"If you need to schedule your next consultation, you can do so with my assistant; if you want long-term consultations, he can explain our pricing to you."

Nan Zhuren stood up.

Open the door.

Shen Bing was holding a water glass and checking the time. Nan Zhuren had specifically instructed him to knock on the door about an hour later, instead of stopping at forty minutes.

It wouldn't be good if we got interrupted at the last minute.

"Teacher Nan?" Shen Bing looked up, his eyes filled with anticipation.

Nan Zhuren nodded, signaling—Go.

(End of this chapter)