Who would study psychology if they didn't have some kind of problem?

Chapter 206 Feeling Very Remorseful

"Yes." Sure enough, the visitor nodded in affirmation.

At the same time, the physical movements related to [defense] were relieved once again.

Lower your left hand, leaving only your right hand still gripping your left arm.

[Straighten your back and extend your abdomen, and lean your neck against the back of the sofa chair.]

When she confirmed my guess, we made eye contact.

Nan Zhuren delved deeper in this direction: "When you have insomnia and difficulty concentrating, are you thinking about the same things?"

"Correct."

"What's going on?"

Nan Zhuren's words seemed to have triggered some key word.

Cheng Hui immediately lowered her head.

Take a deep breath and swallow – you're tense.

[The pupils are dilated... but there are eye movements, indicating that it's not a daze, but a recollection.]

Are you starting to think about the same things you used to think about when you had insomnia and difficulty concentrating?

I miss my friends.

Upon hearing this, Nan Zhuren paused for a moment.

“I’ll think about my past with her… how we met, the important things I said to her, the things we did together, and… some other things.”

At this point, the visitor raised his left hand, which he had just put down, and hugged himself, rubbing his arm as if he were cold.

This is yet another round of [defense].

But it wasn't aimed at Nan Zhuren, but at her memories at this moment.

"Then, these fragments and images of memories keep popping up from time to time, and sometimes I can't stop them even if I want to. I don't want to remember them, but they just keep appearing..."

Nan Zhuren nodded inwardly.

Uncontrollable flashbacks are called "intrusive memories" in psychological counseling. These memories appear in an individual's mind regardless of the situation or time, and the individual cannot control or suppress them no matter how hard they try.

It is commonly seen in post-traumatic stress disorder and obsessive-compulsive disorder.

Nan Zhuren had a vague idea in his mind.

No, or rather, part of Nan Zhuren's guess was verified.

Nan Zhuren steadied himself and said, "It seems that these memories are interfering with your normal life."

"Correct."

"What if we stop looking at the impact of these memories and focus on the memories themselves—are they terrifying or pleasant?"

Nan Zhuren saw that Cheng Hui suddenly quieted down.

Then, breathing became visibly rapid.

【fear.】

Obvious emotional changes.

"There are... terrifying things, most of them are terrifying, but there are also a small part that is beautiful."

Nan Zhuren asked a question she already knew the answer to, verifying her conjecture while further strengthening the counseling relationship: "But these originally beautiful memories and scenes, while not 'terrifying' in terms of emotional experience, are still negative, right?"

Cheng Hui rubbed her arms: "Yes."

Nan Zhuren pressed on: "Is it because your last experience with her, or rather, your last impression of her, wasn't good, that all the good impressions you had before are now gone, right?"

"……You can say that."

Once again, the explanation to the visitor's inner thoughts was successful.

Nan Zhuren is now eager to inquire about the details of Cheng Hui's "friend".

But he knew it wasn't the right time yet.

He needs to establish himself in consulting first.

Just a little bit more.

Do you want these memories to disappear from your mind?

Cheng Hui was taken aback by this question.

Nan Zhuren slowly said, "You just said that these memories have interfered with your sleep, your studies, your work, and your life—do you want them to disappear?" Cheng Hui hesitated for a moment, but after thinking for a short while, she slowly shook her head.

Nan Zhuren didn't want to see just actions; he wanted to hear the visitors say it out loud.

This is very important.

"What do you want them to be like?" he urged.

Cheng Hui, who had been holding her arm, suddenly tightened her grip, leaving a mark on the down jacket.

This is a manifestation of the [defense] being strengthened in an instant, indicating that Cheng Hui does not want to talk about it.

But because it was only a "forceful effort," the momentary "defense" was fleeting.

"I...don't want them to disappear." He spoke slowly, but his tone was surprisingly steady.

Nan Zhuren prompted, "When do you hope these memories will reappear?"

Nan Zhuren first posed an open-ended question, but he did not ask the visitor to answer it. Instead, he used the open-ended question as background information and then further narrowed down the scope.

He followed up with a second question: "Can these memories resurface when you actively try to think about them?"

"Yes," Cheng Hui answered quickly this time, "They can appear when you actively think about them."

"Are there any other times when it could appear?"

Nan Zhuren directly posed an open-ended question this time, without narrowing down the scope.

Cheng Hui began to think for herself: "At other times..."

She seemed to have made a decision: "When I see things related to her. Like, things we ate together."

Nan Zhuren pressed further, "Is there anything else?"

“And…” Cheng Hui pursed her lips, “before going to sleep.”

She quickly explained, "I hope I can think about her for a while before I go to sleep, because I don't want to forget her. But please, don't make me suffer from insomnia..."

Nan Zhuren nodded, indicating that he understood.

He kept smiling.

"So, you just said that some of these memories are pleasant, and most are terrifying. But even the pleasant ones aren't bringing you positive emotions right now."

Nan Zhuren said in a low voice, "Can you describe your emotions? In one word?"

This is an initiative to allow visitors to relive the emotional experience.

Cheng Hui scratched her arms with her palms, and twisted her legs into an "X" shape.

My calves and shoes also started to rub against each other from time to time.

Breathing also became rapid.

This indicates that she is currently feeling quite unwell.

Nan Zhuren observed every subtle change, waiting to see if what he had observed could be corroborated by the words Cheng Hui would utter.

Wait, her hand...

Cheng Hui squeezed the down jacket hard, then slowly moved her hand upwards.

While hugging herself tighter, she also grabbed her own hair.

Then, he began to exert force.

The slight pain made her frown involuntarily.