Who would study psychology if they didn't have some kind of problem?

Chapter 184: Only by objectifying the subjective can we better face [the challenges].

Rational emotive behavior therapy (REBT), also known as rational belief therapy, is the most representative treatment method of the cognitive behavioral therapy school. The theoretical basis of this therapy is that people's emotional and behavioral responses are not caused by a specific event itself, but by their cognition, interpretation, and evaluation of that event.

It is also called the "ABC theory" because this therapy involves three elements: activating event, belief, and emotional and behavioral consequences.

Rational emotive behavior therapy (REBT) uses the three elements A, B, and C mentioned above to analyze the entire process from the occurrence of an event to the resulting emotional and behavioral consequences, thereby identifying the problems and correcting beliefs.

After watching the visitors write down [A], [B], and [C] on the paper in turn, Nan Zhuren slowly said:
"In your description, there were two events that triggered your negative emotions. We can use one as a teaching exercise and the other for you to practice."

"The first one is: you feel that your understanding is not keeping up with your friends, or you clearly feel that your abilities are not as good as theirs."

Nan Zhuren began to formally guide the discussion: "What was the event that directly caused you to have emotions during this process?"

Zhuang Junzhe answered quickly: "I know they're interning at big companies, so I just felt..."

Nan Zhuren interrupted: "Let's put aside the 'feelings' for now and just focus on the 'event' itself."

Zhuang Junzhe paused for a moment: "That means 'knowing that many people have interned at large companies'."

Nan Zhuren tapped the paper: "Write it down, write it below [A]."

rustling --

The sound of the pen tip sliding around quickly began and then stopped.

After finishing writing as required, the visitor looked up and then at the counselor.

Nan Zhuren pressed on: "Then, let's recall, what were your emotions regarding the event?"

Zhuang Junzhe pursed his lips, and this time he spent a longer time thinking.

Nan Zhuren observed his expression.

"I feel...very troubled."

They looked away, no longer making eye contact.

What are they hiding?

Nan Zhuren immediately launched a confrontation: "'Trouble' is not an emotion, 'trouble' is a state."

In everyday spoken communication, some words often acquire various extended meanings over time. For example, "傻X" was originally a noun, usually used in sentences like "You are a fool"; but later, when "傻X" was used as an adjective to form sentences like "This thing is really a fool," everyone could understand the meaning.

The same applies to "trouble". It is not an accurate emotion in itself, but when people say "I am troubled", it can roughly make people understand the speaker's state.

This is not an accurate description of the emotion; rather, it is a vague and ambiguous description, a description with a defensive nature.

Looking at the visitor, Nan Zhuren slowly guided him, saying, "In psychology, emotions are divided into basic emotions and complex emotions. Basic emotions include: happiness, sadness, anger, fear, surprise, and disgust."

"Complex emotions are a combination of two or more basic emotions, and there are many more types, such as jealousy, shame, guilt, pride, etc."

"And the 'troubles' you just mentioned can refer to many, many kinds of emotions; it's not an accurate description."

Nan Zhuren looked at Zhuang Junzhe, still hoping that the other party could take the initiative to explore himself more: "Based on the standards I just gave you as examples, what do you think were the emotions you experienced at that time?"

Zhuang Junzhe held his breath slightly.

He hesitated when he first mentioned the "trouble"; now that Nan Zhuren rejected his answer, he fell into a state of silence.

Nan Zhuren hoped this was a thoughtful, positive silence, rather than a confrontational, passive silence that indicated a reluctance to communicate.

Considering the visitor's thoughtful approach and proactive attitude towards seeking help, Nan Zhuren did not immediately break the silence. Fortunately, after about ten seconds, the visitor finally let out a long sigh.

The breath was long, as if it was trying to expel all the waste that had been accumulated from holding one's breath.

“It’s anger, I’m angry about it…” Zhuang Junzhe shook his head again as soon as he said this, and took the initiative to revise his answer once more.

"And what about [inferiority complex]... Is that considered an emotion?"

Nan Zhuren breathed a sigh of relief and nodded: "Okay, write it down, below [C]."

Instead of responding to or comforting the client's current situation, he accelerated the process of the first Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT).

At this point, the paper is divided into three areas.

On the left is [A: I know many people have interned at large companies].

The middle letter [B], representing [cognition], is still blank.

The right side represents [C: anger, inferiority complex].

It has now become a fill-in-the-blank question format.

This is the final step. Nan Zhuren asked, "So, finally, we fill in your [belief]—how did you perceive this [event] at the time?"

Zhuang Junzhe thought for a moment and said, "I think they are more capable than me to get internships at big companies."

Nan Zhuren said, "Write it down. This is [B]."

It sounds weird.

But Zhuang Junzhe's attention was focused on the consultation at that moment, so he immediately started writing and finished in a moment.

So, at this moment, the text on the paper becomes a one-way linear transmission: "I know many people have interned at big companies →→ I think they are more capable than me to be able to intern at big companies →→ I feel angry and inferior."

And just like that, the formula A+B=C was derived.

Zhuang Junzhe's expression suddenly became complicated.

Nan Zhuren noticed immediately and deliberately asked, "What's wrong?"

"That's right, my belief doesn't seem to hold water."

Zhuang Junzhe's brows gradually furrowed.

Nan Zhuren smiled and said, "Because you used to only think about it in your head, but you never wrote it down on paper."

Zhuang Junzhe blinked: "It's that simple?"

His face was full of disbelief.

Nan Zhuren nodded: "When these things only exist in your mind, they are only 'subjective,' and subjective things are guided by thoughts and emotions. Many times you may indeed have [A, B, C] in your mind, but as you think about it, [A] disappears from your mind, or even [B] disappears, and you are only immersed in the negative emotion of [C]."

The counselor pointed to the words on the paper.

"Now that they are presented in written form, they are, in a sense, 'objectified.' It's even difficult to ignore them now, which allows you to think more rationally and logically."

Nan Zhuren smiled and said, "That's why I kept emphasizing to you just now—'Write it down'."

(End of this chapter)