Who would study psychology if they didn't have some kind of problem?

Chapter 181 Small Town Youth
Time: 14:00 PM.

dong dong dong-

"Please come in."

After hearing the knocking, Nan Zhuren called out loudly.

click-

The door to the consultation room opened, and a tall and handsome young man walked in.

From Nan Zhuren's perspective, this boy's appearance, with a little grooming, would absolutely meet the girl's description of him as "clean-looking".

"Hello."

The boy was taken aback: "Hello, teacher."

He was momentarily stunned by Nan Zhuren's face.

Because this is the school's psychological counseling center, the part-time student receptionists are bound to be less attentive than those at outside business counseling centers. Therefore, this young man wasn't guided into the counseling room; rather, he was told which room was for his consultation and then opened the door himself.

At that moment, he suddenly froze at the doorway.

"Please come in."

Nan Zhuren smiled and took over this part of the guidance work.

The boy was wearing black corduroy pants, a gray sweatshirt, and a baseball jacket that was open over his shoulders.

Judging from her attire, she has put thought into it, and her style suggests she is an extroverted person in social situations.

Nan Zhuren first mentally constructs the other person's "consultant impression".

The boy sat somewhat awkwardly on the sofa to Nan Zhuren's left. Instead of leaning back in his chair, he bent over, rested his elbows on his knees, and unconsciously rubbed his palms together, then smiled at Nan Zhuren.

"Hello, teacher." He and Nan Zhuren looked at each other and greeted each other again.

The movements and postures appeared somewhat tense and defensive, but at the same time, they also conveyed a sense of "ready to strike."

Actively seek communication.

"Nervousness" and "enjoyment of communication" are not actually contradictory.

At the school's counselor center, because the counselors are "psychological teachers," most students may be a little reserved, or in professional terms, they may have a natural sense of "defense."

But this also has an advantage—in this situation, students may actually talk more when it doesn't involve extremely private matters.

It will be much easier to establish an initial relationship during consultation.

After completing this first step, Nan Zhuren was confident that he could use his skills and experience to break down the student visitor's defenses and turn this situation from a disadvantage to an advantage.

According to the narrow definition of social interaction, since the other party has greeted you again, you should respond.

But this response certainly couldn't be just a simple "hello," so Nan Zhuren took the opportunity to start the consultation.

"'Zhuang Junzhe'...is that right?"

"Oh, yes, yes."

A fairly standard name, not very good [actively following]. Nan Zhuren skipped it after confirming.

"First year of graduate school?" "Ah, yes, yes, yes."

The counseling relationship can be established by simply using the client's basic information.

Then we get to the main topic.

"Now that we're sitting here, there must be some problem bothering you. Could you tell me about it briefly?"

This is Nan Zhuren's usual opening line, and the words he uses are actually carefully designed.

For example, replacing expressions like "What's bothering you?" or "How can I help you?" with "The problem is troubling you" weakens the subjective feeling of the visitor's problem and removes some of the emotional color.

In the early stages of the counseling relationship, it is possible to take good care of more sensitive clients.

This way of asking questions is actually an application of conversation techniques, and it doesn't mean that Nan Zhuren really wants to "discuss the problem" with the visitor.

This time, however, the first-year graduate student nodded seriously: "Yes, teacher, I do have a question I'd like to discuss with you."

Nan Zhuren blinked; this kind of reaction was quite rare.

However, he still responded encouragingly, "Mm."

This indicates that you should continue.

"This issue has actually been bothering me for a long time. I've always felt that I shouldn't pay attention to it or think about it. But recently, this issue has indeed caused some... things that are bothering me, so I'm bringing it up."

A long preamble is often used, and it's common for clients to feel ashamed of their problems. In such cases, an atmosphere of "I'm only seeking counseling out of necessity" is created as a reason.

This is common among students in China, and it is even more serious among those with high self-expectations.

"How should I put this question?"

Nan Zhuren rubbed his palms together as he watched the visitor.

"I'm from the countryside... no, that's not quite accurate. It's just that the place I live in is somewhere like a semi-rural area. It's not exactly poor, but more like a comfortable middle-class life. Life might have been a bit tough when I was little, but now I'm basically not worried about basic food and clothing, and I have fish and meat at least every meal."

Nan Zhuren nodded. This was a description of the basic family background. At the same time, Nan Zhuren could also foresee that the problems that followed would also be related to the family situation.

However, Nan Zhuren took a few more glances at the visitor in front of her—as mentioned earlier, the boy in front of her was quite outstanding in appearance, not only in terms of facial features, but also in terms of skin texture.

In general, he looks like a child from a wealthy family.

However, upon closer inspection, it becomes clear that while he put thought into his outfit, none of the clothes he wore were from mid-range or higher brands; they were all relatively inexpensive.

“When I was little, my parents taught me not to compare myself with others, but with myself. Because you can’t compare yourself with others materially, there will always be someone better than you. If you want to compare, compare your grades, compare your abilities… And that’s what I’ve always done.”

“I was the best student in my school from elementary to middle school. Even after I went on to university, although the people around me were also very outstanding, I considered myself to be one of the more capable people among my peers.”

"Of course, during my university years, I could sense that the families of those around me were starting to become more extravagant. But at that time, I didn't think much of it because I was more capable than them, whether it was grades, school jobs, internships, or anything else..."

Nan Zhuren nodded, and at the same time, he roughly understood what the other party's question was.

"Of course, during this process, I would inevitably compare myself with others, and I would feel somewhat unbalanced. For example, some people had already been arranged bank jobs by their families by their junior year of college; some had contacted schools abroad and spent thousands of dollars practicing for the IELTS exam; while I was preparing for the postgraduate entrance exam and sending out resumes everywhere to find a job as a backup plan..."

"However, it might also be because my undergraduate university was in a second-tier city. Although I occasionally felt this way back then, it wasn't very strong."

(End of this chapter)