Who would study psychology if they didn't have some kind of problem?

Chapter 131 Teacher Zhang: I Give Up
Nan Zhuren made an embarrassed expression again: "That's right, everything that was going to happen has happened—everything."

Okay, we didn't get any time to adjust, and instead our emotions got even more volatile.

Teacher Zhang was starting to lose control of her breathing and the twitching at the corners of her mouth.

What exactly does that embarrassed look mean? Are you really embarrassed?!
"In other words, you have a girlfriend, but you also have another female friend with whom you have a very 'close' relationship; in this situation, you were unable to get a date with another girl during Christmas a few days ago?"

"You feel so frustrated about this that it has led to [emotional problems]?"

As expected of a seasoned psychological counselor, she still possesses clear logical ability even in this situation.

Nan Zhuren nodded.

Teacher Zhang took a deep breath, forcibly controlling her expression. It's alright. Although he's gone a bit too far, he's still essentially a player. The escalation of the issue won't change its fundamental nature; the solution remains the same regardless of the specific circumstances…

“Your situation is indeed more…complex than ordinary emotional issues,” Teacher Zhang said gently. “But now that we’re sitting here discussing this, it means you’ve already sensed the problem and want to solve it.”

Teacher Zhang tried to guide the discussion by asking, "How do you feel right now?"

Nan Zhuren thought about it for a long time.

Finally, he said, "I don't know."

Okay, okay, let’s play like this, right?

They are completely confused clients, the kind that really strains the counselor's brain.

Teacher Zhang took another deep breath: "It's okay, we'll address them one by one, from closest to furthest. According to your description, the most recent issue is that you couldn't get a date with that girl who 'attracted you' at Christmas, which caused your relationship problems, right?"

Nan Zhuren nodded: "Yes."

"What are your thoughts on this matter?"

"...very frustrating."

"Has this made you try to re-examine your current emotional relationships?"

Nan Zhuren thought about it for a moment.

"No, I went directly to another girl I was close to. I got a sense of accomplishment from her."

What kind of sense of accomplishment does it provide?

Teacher Zhang remained silent this time, unable to respond to Nan Zhuren's words in time.

[...Your thoughts are jumbled, and you can't speak?]

【very good. 】

Nan Zhuren noticed the other party's unusual behavior and knew that they had reached a turning point.

He began to try to take control of the conversation.

"But after spending one night with her, I felt frustrated again."

Nan Zhuren added details to the story, making a disappointed expression: "Teacher, have you ever met that kind of girl, the kind who is very free and has a lot of opinions? She is that kind of girl. She said that she enjoys being with me, but she doesn't know how far our relationship will go in the future. Rather than breaking up and being sad because of some unpleasantness, it's better to keep the relationship at a relatively pure and deep stage, but not too deep in terms of feelings."

Teacher Zhang blinked. How pure, and how profound?
If the relationship isn't very deep, then how can it be considered pure or deep?
Nan Zhuren put on a distressed expression: "I've never been able to deepen our relationship; it's always remained superficial. The reason I went to find a third girl is because she's very similar to the second girl—equally energetic and sunny, and I feel like those are things I lack. But her situation is so 'special'."

Nan Zhuren said sincerely, "Teacher, I feel like I've been pursuing love all along, but I don't know how to love or how to love correctly."

"Teacher, am I sick?"

Teacher Zhang racked her brains and used roundabout words to affirm Nan Zhuren: "Compared to normal intimate relationships, yours is indeed more complicated. And since you are different from others, there must be some problems. We can try to work together to analyze this problem." The dialogue between the counselor and the client had begun to deepen, and Nan Zhuren began to focus her gaze on Teacher Zhang's face without restraint, pretending to pay attention to the other party's answers.

After thinking it over, Teacher Zhang decided to initiate a confrontation.

"You say you don't know how to love. But according to what you just said, you have a girlfriend. Don't you think that's 'love'?"

Nan Zhuren seemed to have been scratched on an itch: "Teacher, this is another key point that is troubling me."

“My girlfriend pursued me and I accepted her; but when I pursue other girls, they don’t accept me. I feel like I’m stuck in a vicious cycle: I don’t love the people who love me, and the people I love don’t love me.”

“I always pursue love in a confused way, and because of this, some of my behaviors may not be appropriate. But it’s not that I’m not serious about love. On the contrary, I’m wholeheartedly devoted to love. It’s just that I can’t find the love I want.”

Are they clients who enjoy philosophical and literary metaphors? They're the type that requires more brainpower from the counselor.

This sounds a bit like a personality disorder. Is this game really that high-level?

All the techniques used in the series were blocked. Although the dialogue went deeper, this deeper dialogue made Teacher Zhang feel like he was trapped in a maze, not knowing how to get out.

In other words, Teacher Zhang feels that he now seems to understand Nan Zhuren's problem, but he doesn't know how to further analyze it and then solve it.

Embarrassed.

At this point, the safest approach is to go back to the beginning, completely reverting to the initial state of the problem. Instead of making hasty judgments or suggestions, the discussion should remain on the surface, focusing on lighthearted topics and offering ample support.

This way, you can at least get through the consultation time more easily, and you might even get a good review afterward because of the pleasant atmosphere of the consultation; if the client has a strong desire for consultation, they might even renew the service because they feel satisfied with their outpouring of information.

……

[He was swallowing frequently, sweating on his forehead, and very nervous.]

He crossed his legs, completely abandoning any semblance of composure. Arms crossed, he began to defend himself against me—a therapist, he's starting to defend himself against me, the client?!

[He readjusted his expression and began some kind of "preparation" process.]

[...It seems they're going to adopt a formulaic approach to pad out consultation time.]

Nan Zhuren easily noticed the change in Teacher Zhang's attitude.

Nan Zhuren, who is also a consultant, immediately understood the other person's current state.

[That's it? You're giving up on in-depth consultation and just planning to coast along?]

The kill threshold appeared earlier than I expected.

Nan Zhuren glanced at the wall clock; there was still plenty of time, which meant he would have even more time to operate the machine himself.

So Nan Zhuren completely took over the conversation and began to guide the dialogue: "Teacher, a teacher as capable as you must be much better at handling emotions than I am, right?"

"Can I learn how you handle your feelings?"

Teacher Zhang's expression shifted.

When counselors share their own experiences, it's a conversational technique called "self-disclosure." When used appropriately, it can effectively build rapport between the client and the counselor.

At the same time, it also allows counselors to extend the consultation time.

For Teacher Zhang now, this is exactly what she wanted.

(End of this chapter)