Am I being simulated by their love affair.

Chapter 723 The Abnormalities of Them

"Is dating them really that interesting?"

When he heard the question from the person next to him, Jun Matsuoka was undoubtedly surprised.

The boy turned his head, and Imokawa Natsumi's clear, unambiguous eyes filled his vision, completely pulling him out of his conversation with Mochizuki.

"...I didn't expect Imokawa to ask that." He smiled, not minding the girl taking a step closer.

Natsumi Imokawa puffed out her cheeks slightly. "Can't I ask that?"

“Because there are so many movies with romance as their theme, right? —” Jun Matsueda was interrupted halfway through his sentence.

"Movies are movies, and reality is reality. Don't confuse movies with reality!"

The girl took another step, standing aggressively in front of him.

"Does my knowledge of movies equate to my knowledge of romance? According to Songzhi, does watching the most movies make someone a genius who knows everything?"

"……It is my fault."

The boy took half a step back, and something soft and heavy seemed to press down on his arm.

"So dating them is that interesting?" Natsumi Imokawa repeated her question, puffing out her cheeks.

"..." Jun Matsue leaned on the railing and began to think.

The girl followed and gripped the railing tightly, ignoring the dampness spreading across her palms.

"If Imokawa is referring to arguing and giving the other person the silent treatment like I am now, then of course it doesn't make any sense."

"Then why bother with dating?" she pressed on.

“First of all, I’m the one who made a mistake in this relationship,” the man said calmly. “I’m just taking responsibility for my choices.”

"Secondly, love itself is not just about happiness." He looked at the book in the girl's hand.

"Are you really happy now that you're spending all your time studying and memorizing theories?"

Natsumi Imokawa shook her head, holding her theory book in one hand.

Will that affect your goal of studying film?

The girl shook her head again.

“So dating is the same.” Jun Matsueda looked at her.

"To put it another way, I didn't choose the relationship as a romantic one, but rather the state of 'being with her'."

"Being with her includes not only dating time, but also time spent apart—"

"While waiting for her, while chatting with her on the phone, while walking towards her..."

"Even just when I think of her."

“These are all the parts of being with her, including arguments, suspicions, and neglect.”

“...That sounds a bit scary.” Natsumi Imokawa blinked. “It’s like it includes your entire life.”

"Maybe," the boy smiled. "But aren't movies the same?"

"Do you only think about movies when you're sitting in front of a screen?"

"Isn't everything about images also an integral part of your life?"

The girl nodded thoughtfully.

“Besides, I didn’t have a choice.” Jun Matsue spread his hands, feigning helplessness.

"I had already fallen for her long before I decided whether or not to be with her—if I had to put it that way, that's what makes love so terrifying."

“Indeed!” Natsumi Imokawa agreed. “I don’t know when I started to like watching movies and running around with a camera.”

"Hmm." The boy snapped his fingers in front of her, shattering a falling raindrop.

"So I do feel tired and lost because of the current cold war with Mochizuki, but that doesn't affect my desire to be with her."

"You ask me what it means? I can only say that finding someone you want to be with is the most important thing."

"..." The girl looked at him with a scrutinizing gaze.

"But it seems like you want to be with more than one person?"

The composed expression on Jun Matsuoka's face vanished.

He blinked and raised his hand to wipe away the few raindrops that had fallen on his face.

"That's right."

"It seems I can't decide how many people I like either."

“But you can decide whether or not to be with them, right?” Natsumi Imokawa leaned closer. “Does that mean you have to be with every one of them you like?”

The boy blinked again. "Logically speaking, it really shouldn't be like this..."

"However, I have already decided to continue down the wrong path, so there's no need for me to try to persuade you, Imokawa."

"..." The girl continued to stare at him, her eyes revealing a stubbornness that refused to give up.

Although Songzhi seemed to have a lot to say and her attitude was firm, for some reason, she just felt a little annoyed with the boy in front of her.

The sullen and unhappy feelings in her heart still lingered, and Natsumi Imokawa continued to ask questions.

"Songzhi, with so many girlfriends, are you managing to keep up?"

"You haven't been talking to me much lately!"

“…Really?” Jun Matsueda thought for a moment. “Didn’t we just chat when we were registering?”

"That happened four days ago!" The girl pouted her full lips slightly. "Besides, you just happened to run into me on the way and chatted for a bit!"

"Well, you can't blame me for that, can you?" the boy said, sounding somewhat helpless.

"Hasn't Imokawa been incredibly busy ever since he finished filming his portfolio during the summer vacation?"

"Are you only leaving the classroom for meals, bathroom breaks, and PE class? How am I supposed to find you?"

“Uh…” Natsumi Imokawa was somewhat speechless.

Only then did the girl realize how wrong she was—how could she speak to the pine branch in such an attitude?

Faced with the boy's gaze, Natsumi Imokawa's unspoken emotions transformed into an unspeakable shyness.

She lowered her head, a faint blush rising on her cheeks, like a sudden glimpse of sunset in the dark clouds, drawing the eye.

“I didn’t mean to blame you.” Jun Matsueda was always excellent at reading people’s expressions.

"Actually, what Imokawa said makes sense. Since I have chosen this future, I will definitely have much less free time in the future."

The girl raised her head again.

"But there's nothing we can do about it." The boy leaned on the railing, looking at the school gate, which was half-hidden by bushes.

"Nothing in this world is perfect; we always have to make trade-offs."

"I'm mentally prepared. Although my social circle will inevitably expand after entering university, I won't make any new friends."

“…What do you mean?” Natsumi Imokawa blinked.

"Because my energy is limited," the boy explained patiently. "So I don't want to give my free time to new people who have entered my life, no matter who they are."

"I want to solidify the relationships I care about. I will never make friends like Imokawa again."

"I only engage in minimal social interactions so that I can still maintain a normal life outside of romantic relationships."

Of course, his reasons for thinking this way were not as simple as they appeared—

Firstly, it is to prevent the emergence of new ambiguous relationships.

Jun Matsue is fairly confident in his self-control, but once his relationship with the girls stabilizes, he will definitely have to give them an explanation.

Secondly, it's to guard against the system seeking new hosts. Although the specific rules of the system in this regard are unclear, it's obvious that it only targets people with close relationships to it.

He only has a few close friends and family members, so theoretically, as long as he manages his interpersonal relationships well, there shouldn't be any room for the system to cause trouble.

I wonder if it will suddenly disappear like it did in its previous life...

After sorting out his thoughts, Jun Matsueda turned his attention back to what was in front of him—Natsumi Imokawa had her mouth open, looking like she wanted to say something but couldn't.

"What does Imokawa want to say?" he asked casually.

Looking at the boy's face, Natsumi Imokawa asked somewhat cautiously.

Will I have time to use that pine branch again?

"..." Based on his extensive experience in relationships, the boy sensed something was amiss.
"I'll try my best," he smiled.

"After Imokawa enters Tokyo University of the Arts, he might be busier than me. At that time, I might be the one asking you if you have time."

"No!" The girl shook her head resolutely and decisively.

"Even if I'm busy, it won't affect anything! I'll definitely find Songzhi to be an actress and model!"

"We'll see how things go then." Jun Matsueda's expression was no longer so composed.

"Imokawa saw it too. I haven't had much free time lately, and you've been busy preparing for your exams too."

"Going to university is still six months away, let's talk about it then."

Natsumi Imokawa wanted to hear a more definite answer, "I'll be free right after the auditions in October!"

"But I still have a long way to go," the boy said casually.

"Of course I'd be happy to accompany you during the shoot, but I simply don't have that much time right now."

“Oh…” The girl lowered her head again.

She wanted to talk about more than just filming; she also wanted to reminisce about the time they spent together in their small room playing video games, like during previous summer vacations.

And there are nights when the rain is pouring down outside the window, and they huddle on the sofa watching suspense movies.

Even earlier, she walked out of Meiji Shrine with him, camera in hand, facing the sunset-colored ginkgo avenue...

“I don’t mean to refuse,” Jun Matsue finally explained. “After all, I’m really not free right now, so I can’t give you any guarantees.”

"If you need anything from me, or if there's anything I can help you with, just let me know, and I'll try my best to make time."

"I understand..." Natsumi Imokawa nodded absentmindedly.

"So let's chat a bit more while we're both free now," the boy said, shifting his grip on the railing.

"Has Imokawa ever watched Chainsaw Man? I watched a few episodes at home yesterday when I had the day off, and I thought you might be interested."

He was so engrossed in watching Chainsaw Man with Kurusu that he didn't notice his phone and thus belatedly liked Mochizuki Haruka's post.

"I've seen it; the quality is just average, not as good as the original."

The girl's eyes were no longer as bright as before; her thoughts had wandered off somewhere else.

“Really? I haven’t read the original, so I feel—” Jun Matsue was only halfway through his sentence when Natsumi Imokawa took out the book she was holding and squatted down against the door behind her.

"Um, let's talk again next time." She flipped to a page haphazardly. "I still have to prepare for the selection..."

The boy hesitated for a moment, then asked, "Should I go back to the classroom now?"

"Hmm." The girl looked down at the marks she had made on the pages of the book.

"What specific selection number is used for the Tokyo University of the Arts?"

October 12th.

"Good luck, Yuchuan! Just another half month of hard work and we'll be free."

"Mmm." She turned to another page, one she had already read before.

"Remember not to stay on the rooftop for too long, or you'll catch a cold."

"Okay..." The girl pulled her cardigan tighter around herself.

Footsteps sounded beside her, and Natsumi Imokawa silently shifted her gaze to the side.

The boy's dark trousers fluttered in the wind as he stepped onto the terrace in his white indoor shoes, followed by the screech of the sliding door being pulled shut.

The girl breathed a sigh of relief. She placed the book in her hand on her lap and watched the drizzle fall on the toes of her shoes with the transparent wind.

"..."

The inexplicable emotions that had just filled her chest seemed to have been taken away with the boy's departure. Now, Imokawa Natsumi had no heart to study, and Matsue's reply left her feeling empty.

"You said you wouldn't forget your friends even if you were in a relationship..."

Although Jun Matsue had not forgotten her, the girl was becoming increasingly concerned about the difference in treatment she received compared to her other girlfriends.

"What do you mean 'try your best'..."

What Songzhi just said to her didn't sound very convincing...

Natsumi Imokawa picked up the book from her lap and pressed it against her chest, as if that would make her empty chest feel a little better.

Is it only by becoming his girlfriend that he can be truly noticed by Matsueda?
Seemingly startled by her own sudden thought, the girl trembled and looked behind her in a flustered manner.

The boy was obviously not behind the door, so she breathed a sigh of relief and opened her "Collection of Film Theories" again.

"Let's just memorize it..."

Imokawa Natsumi knows what's most important right now, and she can't let her mind wander.

The girl held the thick book, searching for the page she had previously looked at.

However, the strange feel of the book cover in her hand made her stop quickly.

Natsumi Imokawa closed the book and looked at the dark-colored parts on the cover—some of which could be seen to be the outline of her hand.

"How did it get wet..." the girl murmured to herself.

Those were large raindrops that had gotten on her right hand when she was holding onto the railing.

Closing the balcony door and walking towards Class 3-6 at the other end of the corridor, Jun Matsueda's mood wasn't as relaxed as his face suggested.

The boy had noticed Natsumi Imokawa's disappointment, which is why he cautiously refrained from making any promises.

Was it because he had neglected Imagawa? Jun Matsueda frowned as he pondered.

Sakamuro did complain about how he doesn't hang out with boys much anymore.

but……

Recalling the innocent eyes of the girl on the terrace, filled with grievance and dissatisfaction, Jun Matsue had a bad feeling.

Is it because Imokawa doesn't have many friends, and I acted too reliable in front of her, making her feel dependent on me?
And then there was the time I helped her shoot her portfolio; it seems like they were in contact a bit too frequently…

The more the boy thought about it, the more uneasy he felt.

Although she said she was going to the Imokawa family's studio, the girl lived there every day, so it was no different from her home.

Even though I haven't been in her bedroom, and have only been in the living room and recording studio, this distance still seems too close...

After reviewing the moments they spent alone together in his mind, Jun Matsueda's feelings became complicated and surprised.

From an outsider's perspective, his relationship with Imokawa does seem somewhat ambiguous.

Why didn't I realize this before?
Even now, reflecting on how he was gradually lulled into a false sense of security by Natsumi Imokawa's innocent appearance, he still can't find the answer.

"..." Looking at the classroom so close at hand, Jun Matsue sighed inwardly and hurriedly put aside his thoughts.

He pushed open the back door and gave the two girls in the back row his usual relaxed smile.

Now I can only hope that Imokawa's potential dependence won't turn into an attachment...

(End of this chapter)