Am I being simulated by their love affair.

Chapter 616 Sorry, I can't wait for you

"I want to make pine branches too."

The girl's black hair fell onto his neck, and as he listened to her hot, moist breath amplified in his ear, Matsueda Jun reached out and pressed his hand against the shoulder of the girl wearing a bra strap.

He carefully avoided the two straps on her fair skin; the smooth elasticity traveled along his fingertips, making the boy slow his breathing.

"Calm down first."

Jun Matsue tried to push away the girl who was leaning on him, but his hand was quickly blocked.

"I'm perfectly calm right now."

Kurusu Yosei's arm pressed down on the boy's pillow, and she leaned down, bringing the two of them even closer.

"Are you sure?" Jun Matsue had to use a little more force to gently push the girl away so that he could sit up from the bed.

"A girl's first time is not something that can be decided so hastily."

"Where is it hasty!" Kurusu Yosei sat on the boy's lap, pressing down on his thigh. "I've been thinking about this all night in bed, okay!"

"Keep your voice down." Jun Matsueda quickly reached out to cover her lips. "It would be troublesome if Mochizuki heard us."

"Looking at the moon, looking at the moon, looking at the moon..." The girl glared at him. "Is she the only one in your heart now? You even said you were my number one fan!"

The boy didn't answer, but instead reached out and pressed down on her legs, pulled his lower body out of the covers, and then crawled to the foot of the bed to close the bedroom door for the careless person.

When he turned around, Kurusu Yosei's alluring eyes, filled with resentment, were right in front of him again.

"Matsue, is it because you don't want to be with me that you're making up so many excuses?"

Jun Matsueda looked at her face.

This is a bright and beautiful face that perfectly captures people's most flamboyant and splendid fantasies about youth.

When the girl stands on the stage, exposed to the camera, her free and lively soul exudes a unique and captivating charm through her bright eyes, attracting people to approach, understand, and become fascinated.

Jun Matsue looked at her body again.

This was the beautiful body he had admired in the photo album last night, now undulating vividly before his eyes, wearing only underwear.

The girl was perhaps wearing her "decisive" lingerie; the pale pink lace bra clung intimately to her skin in the dim light, the half-cup design revealing her pert bust. Her slender waist presented a taut, crease-like curve, making one want to caress it wantonly, from her firm waist to the sexy indentation at her navel...

The boy didn't look any further. The body, sculpted by yoga, fitness, and dance, was so curvaceous and alluring that just gazing at it made his imagination run wild, conjuring up images of suppleness and grace that made his heart flutter.

The girl in front of him was an idol adored by thousands. The depths of her body, which were beyond the reach of those dazzling lights and fervent gazes, could be laid bare before him if he so desired, allowing him to play with and caress her at will.

Therefore, Jun Matsue had to say those words as soon as possible.

"You're right, I just don't want to do it."

Yosei Kurusu held his breath.

The girl is very confident in her body, which is her capital in the entertainment industry. The looks that boys have given her from the audience and at home have also proven her charm.

But Jun Matsueda's answer was "no".

"……Why?"

"Because I will only do it with people I like."

"Don't you like me?" Yosei Kurusu's face drew even closer.

"……Um."

Compared to "I don't like it," an "um" seems to make them feel a little better.

"The pine branch is lying."

The girl spoke with certainty, her gaze fixed intently on him as if she had discovered a criminal.

"When you were dating your senior, you said that she wasn't more important to you than me."

“If Songzhi didn’t like me, you wouldn’t have hesitated when you chose to make me move out of the apartment.”

What she said was of course true. Jun Matsue lowered his eyelashes, blurring the figure of the girl in front of him.

If a guy doesn't really like someone, he won't realize how unbearable his inner turmoil and reluctance are right now.

However, Jun Matsue suppressed these emotions.

He had to refuse to come to Qiyang World tonight, he told himself.

A complete and utter rejection.

Not to mention that every time the girl returned, it made Mochizuki Haruka and Tomatsu Tomohana uneasy.

What will happen when her idol graduates, and she returns to her apartment and her own world with a heart full of emotion?
Jun Matsue knew that his world had become a scale, with him standing in the middle and Tomoka Tomatsu and Haruka Mochizuki sitting at either end—this shaky scale, struggling to maintain its balance, could no longer accommodate a third person.

Therefore, I had no choice but to refuse.

"Because people change, they just don't like it anymore."

"big liar."

Without hesitation, Yosei Kurusu cupped the boy's cheeks in her hands, bringing their foreheads together.

Their noses rubbed together, and even their breaths merged into one.

"Say it again if you dare."

The girl's threatening words were based on their past close interactions—she didn't believe that Songzhi could simply say she didn't like him anymore.

"..." Jun Matsue did not respond to her.

If he were to say it again, Kurusu might just kiss him on the lips that were so close to hers.

He broke free from the girl's hand, climbed to the bedside, picked up the T-shirt and hot pants that had fallen to the floor, and turned around to throw them onto the bed.

"Get dressed first, I'm not going to do it with you tonight."

"..." Kurusu glanced at the boy's lower body.

The fabric, which had been stiff and held together, became a bulging, bulky mass, and the girl bit her lower lip in frustration.

"Songzhi must explain this to me tonight, or I won't leave!"

"...Wait a moment."

Noticing the girl's gaze, Jun Matsueda, wearing only his underwear, quickly returned to the bed. However, Yosei Kurusu also quickly threw down his clothes and followed him in.

"Don't move!" The boy kept his distance from her. "I have a girlfriend now."

"Which girlfriend? Mochizuki or Tomatsu?" The girl hadn't forgotten his previous relationship-related business.

"...All of them."

Although the girls might not agree with this statement, Jun Matsueda didn't mind giving this answer in order to discourage Kurusu.

After a moment of quiet in bed, Yosei Kurusu turned to look at the boy.

Are you two-timing?

"Ah."

"...Scumbag, just like my mom back then."

Jun Matsue stared at the ceiling, not looking into her eyes.

The girl shifted to her side and moved her head slightly.

"It's strange not to have a pillow. Pine branch, can you share some of your pillow with me?"

As the boy moved the pillow toward her, the girl took the opportunity to rub against his arm.

"Songzhi, stop being a jerk. Being with me will definitely make you better than them."

"Are you going to make me do it with you again next?"

Yosei Kurusu winked slyly and remained silent.

"And then what?"

Jun Matsue said earnestly, and he turned around, their faces pressed against the pillows as they looked at each other.

The cicadas outside the window had stopped chirping, and the mechanical, monotonous sound of the air conditioner echoed alone in the empty room, making it seem particularly desolate.

“We did it tonight, and then we’ll have a sweet day on Sunday, and then you’ll go back to your idol career and come back every two weeks or so?” “I said before that it would be fine by the end of the year.” Kurusu Yosei’s eyes were extremely focused. “After my solo concert at the Budokan at the end of the year, I can take a break, have a long vacation, and go back to my apartment to live for a long time.”

"I know Matsue might bring up the fact that relationships can't be made public, but does that mean you can go public with both of your girlfriends now?"

The boy's gaze shifted away from hers.

"Which one is your official girlfriend?"

"...Tomatsu."

"No wonder Mochizuki is so angry..." the girl muttered, then raised her voice a little.

"Then there's no difference between you dating Mochizuki and you dating me!"

Why can't you accept it?

Looking at the blurry face of the boy beside her in the darkness, Yosei Kurusu frowned, unable to understand.

“Because you’re not here with me,” Jun Matsue said softly.

This is also why he made up his mind to reject the girl.

A bird, I don't know what kind, flew past the window, leaving behind a distant flapping sound.

"Moon is right beside me, and we share our time together. Being together day and night only deepens our feelings for each other; there's no possibility of them fading."

"Even when I was having a secret relationship with my senior, it was the same."

"This is something they can all do, but it's impossible to do it if you're dating an idol like Yosuke Kurusu."

Yosuke Kurusu fell silent, and the boy's voice became even softer.

"Kurasu, I can't lie to you, I do still have feelings for you."

"This is something we built up little by little, from rushing home together during a typhoon, buying discounted groceries together at the supermarket, and accompanying you on your debut stage."

"But that was a long time ago, you've been in the industry for a year and a half..."

At this point, Jun Matsue stretched out his right hand, hovering it in the small, dark space in front of the two of them.

"Of course, I know you've been trying to maintain our relationship, so my feelings for you haven't diminished much, and may have even increased a little."

The boy raised his flat hand, and the girl's serene eyes were fully revealed to him.

"But the affection I have for other people has increased dramatically."

A definitive silence filled the small bed.

"Kurasu, I'm sorry."

"...Why are you apologizing?" Kurusu Yosei's voice trembled.

"In the end, isn't it just that I haven't spent enough time with you?" She suddenly sat up from the covers and put on the shorts that had been pushed aside by the two of them.

"I'll call my agent right now and move back to the apartment starting tomorrow—it's just a little longer commute..."

"I'll buy a car during the long holiday at the end of the year, and we'll go on a road trip together—to Hokkaido, Izu, and Kumamoto and Nagoya, which we visited during the tour..."

For the first time, Yosei Kurusu felt such a profound sense of panic, and he even forgot that he couldn't drive to Hokkaido.

"Kurasu, that's enough." Jun Matsue sat up, stopping her from continuing.

"I don't need you to do any of that. Even if you announce your retirement or publicly announce your relationship now, it won't make a difference."

“I would much rather see you perform at the Budokan, or even the National Stadium and Tokyo Dome.”

"..."

"Can't you...can't you wait a little longer?" The girl's voice was trembling with sobs.

Jun Matsue was glad he couldn't see her face clearly.

If he were to see such a weak and helpless Laixi, his resolve, which he had just made tonight, might waver again.

It wasn't that the boys didn't want to wait, it's just that the girls surrounding them were too enthusiastic—

His life has been completely taken over by Mochizuki Haruka and Tomatsu Yuka, leaving no space for her.

"It's too late. There's no place left for Kurusu in my heart."

Jun Matsue finally said those words.

"What do you mean?" Kurusu Yosei looked at him. "Does Matsugae Jun want to distance himself from me?"

"...If you don't mind, we can still be good friends in the future."

The girl immediately grabbed his shoulders and shouted.

"How can a good friend be your number one fan?!"

Jun Matsue did not look into the girl's tear-filled eyes.

"Then I'll just have to give up being the number one fan."

"Is Pine Branch going to abandon me?!"

"If you insist on dating me, this is the only way."

The boy's words were clearly defined, a lesson he had learned from his previous failed breakup.

"Are you serious?" The girl's breathing became heavy.

"We were so happy together, weren't we?"

“…Stop talking about these things,” Jun Matsue said softly. “Think about other important things. You’re going to the Budokan at the end of the year.”

"I didn't say you weren't important!!"

Kurusu Yosei pushed hard against his chest, but the boy, who had been casually held down before, didn't move at all this time.

Sensing Matsueda Jun's determination, the girl finally raised her head.

"Hey, Pine Branch." She spoke in a deliberately cheerful tone, with a slightly hoarse tremor in her voice.

"Don't you really want to be with me?"

The boy did not answer.

"Don't regret it!"

“…I hope you won’t regret it.” Jun Matsue picked up the girl’s oversized T-shirt and draped it over her shoulders.

"You're going to be an idol who's going to perform at the Budokan, so don't worry too much about dating."

"Your dream can't just be about building a martial arts dojo."

"..." Kurusu Yosei looked at the clothes draped over his body.

She got this from Songzhi back then.

"I see."

Yosei Kurusu took a deep breath, her chest heaving as if she were inhaling back her tears and sorrow.

She got dressed, turned around, got out of bed, and left the boy's bedroom without looking back.

The footsteps were more hurried than when they came; the slippers clattered as they rushed back to the next room, and then there was no more sound.

Jun Matsue waited for a while, then quietly got out of bed and walked out of the room barefoot.

The bedroom door next door was wide open. He stood in the doorway, looking at the girl inside who had wrapped herself tightly in the blanket again.

Jun Matsue closed the door for her.

Looking at the wooden plaque on the door bearing the name of Yosuke Kurusu, he silently apologized again.

Sorry.

I can't wait for you.

　Kurusu will be making a comeback soon.

　　I'd like to recommend a new book, "Don't Misunderstand, Miss Witch," a lighthearted Western fantasy set in a chaotic world. Those of you who are interested can check it out!
　　
　
(End of this chapter)