Top Scholar

Chapter 449 Liu Jin's Strength (Seeking Monthly Tickets)
The Directorate of Ceremonial Affairs is on duty.

With a snap, yet another exquisite official kiln teacup perished. Lately, Eunuch Liu has been on edge, smashing things every day…

He said in a deep voice with a grim face, "This is really strange! We've gone to great lengths to win the emperor's favor, yet we can't compete with that wild boy from outside the palace?"

"Brother, calm down. What kind of person are you to be arguing with that brat?" Gao Feng quickly advised, "It's beneath you!"

“That’s right, the newly built latrine smells good for three days. The Emperor is just looking for something new.” Wei Bin hurriedly added, “Once the novelty wears off, he’ll still have to go back to his old…lover, Big Brother.”

Liu Jin rolled her eyes at him, thinking he was going to call her an old cesspool.

Just then, Li Bin rushed into the duty room, excitedly announcing, "Godfather, great news—the Emperor didn't go to see that brat today!"

"Haha, what did I tell you? Three days after three days, the toilet isn't fragrant anymore!" Wei Bin slapped his thigh and said excitedly.

Gao Feng also said happily, "They've run out of ideas."

"Hmph, I thought he was some kind of big shot..." Liu Jin snorted, his face finally relaxing a bit, and asked, "So what did His Majesty do today?"

"The sun must have risen in the west today!" Li Bin exclaimed in amazement. "The Emperor has actually summoned the examiners for the imperial examination!"

"Oh?" Liu Jin's brow furrowed again, and he asked in confusion, "What's going on here? When did our master become so diligent in his duties that he's even concerned about the imperial examination?"

"Have we gone too far?" Gao Feng asked nervously.

“It’s possible.” Wei Bin nodded and said, “There’s been a lot of gossip in the capital lately. Not only those pedants, but ordinary people are also spreading rumors about the imperial examinations. The rumors are getting more and more outrageous, and it’s possible that they’ve reached the Emperor’s ears.”

"What do you mean 'maybe'? It's definitely true!" Liu Jin gritted his teeth and said, "Gu Dayong and Zhang Yong are now in cahoots, and the Western Depot is no longer on our side!"

“Indeed, could he really keep these rumors from us? Absolutely not!” Ma Yongcheng, who had been feigning death, nodded emphatically, not missing any opportunity to strike at the Western Depot. “He’ll definitely embellish them!”

He was the head of the Eastern Depot, which is what they call rivals in the same trade.

"Have you found out who's stirring up trouble behind the scenes?" Liu Jin asked him in a deep voice.

"..." Ma Yongcheng cursed his bad luck inwardly; this was why he didn't want to talk. But he could only bite the bullet and say, "It'll be soon. These kinds of things are all hearsay, and it's too difficult to get to the bottom of them."

"But it's almost certain that it was those civil officials who were behind this!" He added, combining the latest developments with a mix of guesswork and speculation, "They just wanted to make a big fuss, attract the Emperor's attention, and then pin the blame on my elder brother!"

"Hmph, these pedantic scholars are the most treacherous and cunning, daring to sow discord between us and the Emperor!" Liu Jin was so angry he wanted to smash the teacup again, but there was a saying in the palace: "Two broken bowls invite disaster, two broken bowls bring financial ruin." He had already smashed one today; smashing another would be unlucky.

Liu Jin could only forcefully hold down his restless right hand, his knuckles turning white from clenching it, and shouted angrily, "Our house is not a cesspool, they can't just throw shit on my head!"

After he finished cursing, Li Binfang forced himself to say, "Also, godfather, the Emperor orders you to come to an audience immediately!"

"Why the hell didn't you say so sooner?!" Liu Jin was even angrier now, roaring as if she wanted to devour Li Bin.

"I thought the Emperor had finally remembered his godfather, which was a good thing," Li Bin said, shrinking his neck. "So I came in to announce the good news..."

"At this critical juncture, what a load of crap!" Wei Bin cursed.

"It must be about the imperial examination..." the strategist Gao Feng suggested, "Brother, why don't we back down? The imperial examination is a civil service affair, and we eunuchs won't get anything out of it."

"Nonsense!" Ma Yongcheng was furious upon hearing this. He had taken money from many people, and he glared at them, saying, "If we want this to last, we need our own people in the court. How can we govern the country well with just a bunch of eunuchs?"

"Alright..." Liu Jin, already dressed, impatiently stopped everyone and put her hands into the hand warmers in her white fox fur coat.

"We do everything for the Emperor. Whatever the Emperor says, we will do!" He said frankly. "Let's get going and not keep the master waiting."

~~
Even so, sitting in the shaky, warm sedan chair, he still felt waves of heat.

Having failed to win the emperor's favor for several days in a row, and with the emperor unusually diligent in his duties, and now summoning him again... This series of unusual events made Eunuch Liu feel uneasy.

I haven't felt this way in a long time since I killed Liu, Xie, and Wang Yue.

Liu Jin felt stuffy sitting in the sedan chair. He first pulled off the hand warmer, then unbuttoned the cloak, leaving only the dark blue lining of his clothes. He then took out a small black hat and a pair of blue cloth shoes from the sedan chair and put them on.

When he got out of the sedan chair, he was dressed like any other minor firefighter.

Without needing a eunuch to lead the way, Liu Jin strode briskly into the inner chamber. There he saw the Emperor sitting cross-legged beside a small table, biting his brush and drawing a large ship.

The round, chubby panda was curled up playing at the emperor's feet when it saw Liu Jin enter. It shifted its rear end and pretended to urinate.

Liu Jin, quick as a flash and disregarding the decorum of a chief eunuch, slid to his knees and rushed to the emperor, lifting the hem of his tunic and tucking it under the panda's rear end. The warm urine instantly soaked the fabric, sticking coolly to his legs.

Liu Jin, however, was quite pleased with himself and remained motionless while catching the entire stream of panda urine.

Zhengde turned around after smelling the aroma and saw the scene. He couldn't help but laugh and say, "Not bad, my dear companion. You haven't let your skills go to waste."

"No matter when, this old servant is still the Emperor's servant." Liu Jin smiled obsequiously, tucking the soiled hem of his clothes behind his back, and said respectfully, "This old servant has come to accept punishment from Master."

"Did I blame you? Why should you be punished?" Zhu Houzhao asked with a smile.

"This old servant has failed in his duty, forcing His Majesty to personally intervene," Liu Jin said with a face full of shame. "Please, Your Majesty, indicate where I am dissatisfied. This old servant will accept any punishment and make immediate corrections!"

"Hey, Your Excellency, don't make a fuss," Zhu Houzhao laughed. "I just have a friend... a friend of mine who's going to take the exam in three days, so I was just checking in and telling the examiners not to go too far. After all, this is my first imperial examination, and it wouldn't be fun if some scoundrels were chosen."

"Yes, yes, this old servant will certainly keep a close eye on things for His Majesty and safeguard this pure land of the imperial examinations!" Liu Jin immediately declared with righteous indignation, "We will absolutely not allow any corrupt officials to fill the positions!"

"It's just a case of someone pretending to be an expert..." Zhengde chuckled, "You've been reading memorials for me for so long, how come you're still only reading half of the words?"

"This old servant is ashamed, there are just too many characters, and they all look so similar..." Liu Jin blushed and said, "This old servant will try his best to learn the characters and strive to recognize them all."

"If all else fails, why don't you go back to the Imperial Academy for some extra lessons?" Zhengde suggested.

"Ah? Your Majesty..." Liu Jin was so frightened upon hearing this that he collapsed and exclaimed, "Does Your Majesty intend to expel this old servant from the Directorate of Ceremonial?"

"What are you thinking? Nothing of the sort! I'm just telling you to study more; your duties will still be yours," Zhengde said with a faint smile.

"Yes, Your Majesty, this old servant will obey. I will attend classes at the Imperial Study Hall every day from now on." Liu Jin was slightly calmed down, but he was still unsure whether the emperor was giving him a warning.

"Yes, you should read more books and not do things that show a lack of knowledge." Zhengde nodded.

"Your Majesty's teachings are etched in my mind..." Liu Jin was now certain that the Emperor was indeed giving him a warning.

He was just about to confess everything to the emperor... of course, he wanted to put all the blame on Jiao Fang, but then Zhu Houzhao changed the subject and said in a consultative tone:
"By the way, since you're already running a private bribery operation, why don't you help my friend's friend get in through the back door too?"

"Huh?!" Liu Jin almost fell to the ground.

"What are you 'ah' about? Don't play dumb with me." Zhu Houzhao urged in a deep voice, "Tell me the real key words!"

"This... this old servant doesn't know either..." Liu Jin was sweating profusely, his mind practically on fire, after being bewildered by Zhu Houzhao. "Even if someone below is really causing trouble, this little matter shouldn't reach this old servant's level, should it?"

"If you don't know, go and find out for me right now, and tell me before the ninth day." Zhu Houzhao waved his hand and said, "Go and change your clothes, you're all so flashy!"

"Ah, this old servant takes his leave." Liu Jin hurriedly bowed and withdrew.

~~
February 7th, Su family courtyard.

The whole family was helping Su Lu and his brother pack their exam supplies; all sorts of items were piled up in the room.

Of course, even if the two of them worked themselves to death, they couldn't carry all that stuff into the examination hall, so they had to streamline it, but they couldn't let it affect their ability to take the exam.

Therefore, they specially invited Zhu Zhishan to provide guidance. The Six-Fingered Madman was a veteran scholar who had entered the imperial examinations five times, and most of the successful candidates in the highest imperial examinations did not have his extensive experience.

"The most important things in preparing for the imperial examinations are three things: keeping warm, keeping warm, and keeping warm!" Zhu Zhishan said with the air of someone who had been there all along.

"In February, it's still winter in the capital. The examination cells have no doors or windows, and if a north wind blows and the weather changes, water freezes instantly. People can even freeze to death at night. I'm not kidding, people really did freeze to death in the examination hall back then!"

"My God!" Su Youcai exclaimed in surprise. "Is this an exam or a suicide mission?"

"Going to your death without proper preparation is tantamount to suicide," Zhu Zhishan said in a deep voice.
"First, there's the clothing for keeping warm, which must be warm but not bulky—a cashmere jacket as the inner layer; and a thick mink coat as the outer layer, which will definitely block the wind and keep you warm. Moreover, the linings of both garments must be removed to avoid violating the regulations of the imperial examinations."

"I wore two layers of pants: an inner layer of cotton pants and an outer layer of leather pants, with the cuffs tied tightly with rope to prevent the cold wind from getting in. The feet were even more important; the floor tiles in the cell were as cold as ice, and ordinary cotton shoes certainly wouldn't be able to withstand it... The cold starts from the feet, and once your feet are frozen solid, your head goes numb, and you can't write anything at all. I learned this the hard way and failed the exam once."

As the brothers listened to Zhu Zhishan's words, they couldn't help but look at Youcai. It turned out that he wasn't the only one who liked to make excuses.

Su Youcai blushed and hurriedly asked, "Then how should we keep our feet warm?"

P.S.: Don't wait for the next chapter, it might not be coming.

(End of this chapter)