Puzzle Madness

Chapter 131 This is how we humans are (Part 1)

DouDou lightly weighed it in her hand: the feel was no different from other VHS tapes.
Therefore, this should be the [Evidence No. 1] mentioned in the report.

"Hmm, I've never heard of this title before—uh, serial number 9734? Is this the nine thousandth or so disc?"

DouDou opened its mouth wide and examined it from all angles.

This videotape series has nearly ten thousand tapes—it's simply unbelievable. More likely, the numbers are just randomly assigned, since even the labels aren't printed.

DouDou once rented a videotape called "Science Fiction Horror Short Film Collection - Final Episode/Part 3":
The name is verbose, but there's actually only one disc; the producers deliberately added a complicated suffix to make the series seem larger.

He then recalled the "[Matrix Number Six]" in the report: perhaps there was only one "Matrix," and the rest were just smoke and mirrors—
"No need to say more, this tape is definitely something like 'The Ring'!"

DouDou tapped his head and muttered to himself:

Most of the people outside watched this videotape; and then died outside because of the hypnosis, suggestion, curse, mental virus or whatever.

"--What? It's only been a short while since it started playing, and the audience went crazy after watching it; no one could stop them, and they were scared half to death instead."

"Then they tried to run away but couldn't, and it might even spread: in the end they died around the telescope!"

"Oh my god, that's terrifying! There really is such a thing in real life!"

This is a dangerous and terrifying videotape.
DouDou hurriedly grabbed it and started walking—
He walked up to the television and media player and began to examine them carefully, preparing to watch the videotape thoroughly.

The power cord had been unplugged—there were even teeth marks on the cable. Aside from that, nothing seemed amiss; compared to the eerie scene outside, it was practically brand new.

DouDou plugged in the power, put her schoolbag aside, squatted down, and stuffed the videotape into the chubby VCR player.
-
Hissing sounds.
The TV speakers were crackling and grating.

Amidst the flickering horizontal lines on the screen, the first thing to emerge is a blackboard—a gray surface and chalk tray; utterly ordinary, much like the one in DouDou's class.

The camera then zoomed out, revealing a jumble of instruments and tools scattered around: microscopes, test tubes, hammers, wrenches, all laid out on a simple folding table.

The ground is covered with colorful PVC panels, pieced together like a play area in a hamburger joint, to prevent people from slipping and bumping into things.

Beep beep beep~
Upbeat music suddenly started playing—
The title then slides into the center of the screen, its cartoonish font shimmering and sparkling; it hops and jostles comically.
[Human Secrets #9734]
Hello everyone! Hello everyone! Welcome to episode 9734 of [Human Secrets]!

A man wearing a hood suddenly jumps into the frame, his arms outstretched as if to embrace the camera; the title and subtitles then scatter and disappear.

He was wearing a bright red overcoat with a microphone clipped to his collar; his hood was a greyish pigeon that completely covered his face, and his voice was high-pitched.

"I am your good teacher: Dr. Big Cuckoo!"

A patched-up doll followed him in—the doll's body was that of a dwarf with a protruding belly, its hands were the claws of a feline, but its head was more like an ant's, with pincer-like mouthparts.

It only reached a man's waist in height, and its voice was deep and hoarse; its throat sounded like it had been branded with a hot iron.
"And me too! Everyone's good classmate—Little Brain!"

The man who called himself Dr. Big Cuckoo clapped his hands, his red lab coat glaringly bright:
"We're continuing our journey toward our 10,000th episode! Students—without further ado, let's get started on today's program!"

"We mentioned this in the last episode --"

He scribbled on the blackboard, the chalk screeching. He wrote quickly, but it wasn't writing or drawing at all; it was just scribbling random circles like clumps of thread.

"So, on this day, Plato defined humans as [featherless bipedal animals]—and another philosopher, Diogenes, brought a plucked rooster to class the very next day!" "He threw the featherless rooster on the ground and said, [Look, this is what Plato called humans! Except their toenails are a bit longer.]"

"Haha, that's really sharp-tongued! Plato was speechless; even if Dr. Big Cuckoo were here in person, he wouldn't know how to respond."

"His witty remarks and clever responses are truly admirable!"

The tiny rag doll waved its two furry paws, slapping its insect-like mouth:
"Doctor, Doctor, you're rambling on again! We learned all of this in the last episode!"

Dr. Big Cuckoo turned around and waved at the camera; his beak flapped up and down.

"Reviewing is definitely not something to be tedious; if you don't review the knowledge, you'll forget it in no time!"
-
Wow, the makeup and styling are absolutely awful! The clothes look like they were picked out of a trash can.

DouDou squinted, leaning closer to the CRT screen. He frowned, his gaze sweeping around:
Hmm, I haven't seen this show—it seems to be an educational program. If they aired one episode a day, wouldn't it take thirty years to air ten thousand episodes? That's definitely just hype.

So, is this host with the pigeon-headed face some kind of ghost or something?

Everything's been so uneventful so far, so cliché it's almost boring. DouDou stood with her hands on her hips, shifting her weight to her other leg, waiting for the host to crawl out of the TV screen.

The rag doll named Little Head wobbled along, its paws supporting its head:

"Doctor, Doctor, you've got a problem! Only children forget things!"

"We humans don't forget things easily! We can put what's in our heads into someone else's head!"

Dr. Big Cuckoo nodded repeatedly, straightened his bright red lab coat, and gave a thumbs-up with both hands:
"Yes, yes, little brain is absolutely right! Classmates, your parents may have said that since they grew up, their heads have become several times bigger--"

The puppet suddenly stood on tiptoe and jumped very high, interrupting the man in red:
"A mouth will grow out of the back of your head!"

Dr. Big Cuckoo suddenly turned his head—the pigeon eyes on his headgear were darting around:
"Little brain, that's not just a simple mouth. What is it? We'll keep you in suspense for now!"

He stepped onto the floor, spun around like a ballerina, faced the camera, grabbed the bulging hood with both hands, then flung it away, making an explosive gesture:

"Once we humans enter puberty and begin to develop, our cranial cavity expands eight to fifteen times its normal size; most people's peak head circumference will exceed their shoulder circumference!"

"Right now, you may not have heads that big yet; but don't worry—go to bed early and get up early every day, and you'll naturally grow faster!"

The little head slapped its patched-up head hard, making a thumping sound:
"Doctor, Doctor, what's the use of having such a big head? Look at my head, it's so big, but I don't feel like I've become smarter."

Dr. Big Cuckoo returned to the blackboard and scribbled even more vigorously in the tangled mess; it looked like he was pretending to write on the board.

"These are the key points for today!"

Have you ever thought about how your parents ask you to go grocery shopping, and you always forget what you need to buy, but they always remember the exact shopping list?

"Did they deliberately prank you so they would have a reason to criticize you? That's not the case!"

"The answer is—" he slapped the back of his head, "They ate each other's memories!"

(End of this chapter)