Winter Returns

Chapter 184 Grounded (Seeking Monthly Tickets)

"This is the fifth year already."

As she got into the car, Ruoping suddenly said something.

They had been sitting in the car for twenty minutes, and no one had said a word; they had just been sitting quietly.

“Actually, I buy some things and send them up the mountain every winter and summer vacation. This year just happened to coincide with the holidays,” Ruoping said calmly. “You should understand, the reason I called you wasn’t because of the move, but just because I wanted to take you to see her.”

Zhang Shutong nodded.

By now, he could pretty much guess that he hadn't come here to move either.

He also vaguely guessed that the four people on this timeline didn't have a very good relationship, otherwise they should have gone to this occasion together.

Perhaps it's not just me; everyone harbors a secret in their hearts.

"So did Qinglian tell you or not?" Ruoping asked. "Why is she staying in that temple?"

Zhang Shutong swallowed the question that was on the tip of his tongue. He was about to ask Lu Qinglian why she still hadn't left the island, but even Ruoping didn't know.
"No... what did she tell you?"

"It was the reason I had back in my fourth year of junior high."

"What?" Zhang Shutong asked almost instinctively.

“Stay home.” Ruoping leaned on the steering wheel. “But I still don’t understand. If we were all still young, it would be fine. She would listen to whatever that old woman said. But now we’re all adults, in our twenties. Why does her grandmother still have this kind of control?”

Ruoping became a little agitated:
"Besides, the police station on the island isn't just for show. Why not just go and call the police? Isn't this restricting personal freedom?"
“Every time I come, I ask her, but she just shakes her head and doesn’t say anything. I don’t know what’s going on, so I thought I’d ask you to come along, but you… if you don’t know either, then so be it.”

Ruoping said dejectedly:
"Maybe it's just Qinglian's own insistence. After all this time, I still can't tell whether she's sad or happy sometimes. She's been like this since junior high. It's like there's a thin layer of paper between us, but we can't get through it no matter how hard we try."

"What about tomorrow?" Zhang Shutong asked. "The temple will always be open sometime, won't it?"

“But she said not to come to see her too often, especially you,” Ruoping added. “Otherwise, why do you think I would give you a cuckold’s horns?”

Zhang Shutong remained silent.

He couldn't understand why either. Was it a house arrest or the so-called duties of a temple keeper? In the end, she still became a temple keeper.

Zhang Shutong was also unsure about the nature of their relationship. If it was good, she wouldn't be so perfunctory when they met; but if it was bad, like the old man said, why did he have to go to her every year for the festival?
Perhaps she's like Ruoping, simply wanting to find an answer, but the truth is lost to time, leaving only guesswork.

Of course, there are ways to avoid guessing.

Zhang Shutong stared at his phone. He had already opened Lu Qinglian's WeChat and his finger was hovering over the call screen. As long as he tapped the screen, he could ask her anything she wanted to know.

But Zhang Shutong ultimately didn't press the call button. If Ruoping was right, then this call might harm her. Besides, the two of them only talked on the phone once a year. There must be a reason for this, whether for her or for himself.

Zhang Shutong even recalled whether Lu Qinglian had subtly conveyed some message to him during their conversation not long ago, but he hadn't noticed it at the time.

He could remember every word the two of them said, but he found that Lu Qinglian's words were always very brief. In fact, it was not so much that her words were brief, but that she could only respond with one sentence.

Finally, Zhang Shutong opened the memo app.

He was going to fabricate a message. That should be safer.

The car started anyway. He lowered the window a little and felt for the first time how long the day was. But summer sunsets are late. The hot wind blew on his face, making him feel irritable. He suddenly missed the winter wind, which was biting but always kept him clear-headed.

He mentally organized his thoughts, trying to list the issues clearly and logically. Zhang Shutong typed and deleted repeatedly on the memo, while Ruoping seemed oblivious to his actions. Perhaps she did notice, but said nothing.

She simply looked at the road ahead:
"Do you remember when we were in junior high school, Mr. Song would drive us around, and we often took this road?"

Zhang Shutong looked up and happened to see the reeds by the roadside. He silently and naturally remembered that what happened five years ago to you was only five days ago to me.

“That car was so small,” Ruoping recalled. “At the time, it seemed really big. Then one time I saw a Ford Focus on the road and I was surprised at how small it was. I wondered how the four of us could squeeze in. No matter how I thought about it, it seemed unbelievable.”

“Maybe it’s because we were all so young back then,” Zhang Shutong said absentmindedly, his fingers tapping on the keyboard. “You’ve grown taller too.”

To put it bluntly, his mind wasn't really on reminiscing about the past. If it were any other time, he would be happy to chat with Ruoping about the interesting things that had happened over the years, but right now, all he could think about was that one WeChat message.

Zhang Shutong is typing the last sentence.

"Shutong, what do you think growing up means?"

As she said this, Ruoping tapped the steering wheel with her fingernails. Her fingernails were their original color, not the colorful manicures she used to wear.

The car slowed down, and the driver seemed to be struggling with something. Suddenly, the woman in the red dress said:

“Actually, if you had rushed over and pulled Qinglian over, I would have stayed with you, but you insisted on calling for her.”

Zhang Shutong was stunned for a moment.

It wasn't that I thought Ruoping was being wise after the event, but rather that I was wondering why I hadn't gone to help Lu Qinglian.

Perhaps it was because he still didn't know what Lu Qinglian meant. For Zhang Shutong, all he needed was a glance from her, and he didn't even need to say anything. But she didn't even give him a glance.

It's too late now, and being a step too late means missing the chance to meet her and get to the bottom of things. But at least there's still the phone. Zhang Shutong has already entered the WeChat message verbatim into the notes app and cut it out. With just one more step, the message will be converted into a data stream, sent to the server, and then delivered to Lu Qinglian's phone via the network.

"I'm not blaming you, I just feel..."

This wasn't the first time Ruoping had brought it up. Zhang Shutong initially thought she was upset that he was being emotional and shouldn't have shouted behind Lu Qinglian's back, as her grandmother might have found out.

Zhang Shutong thought this when she first brought it up, and she thought the same way when she brought it up a second time. But now that she had brought it up a third time, Zhang Shutong felt that the two of them were not on the same wavelength at all. But what exactly was Ruoping talking about?
"I'm sorry... I acted impulsively at the time."

He had a vague feeling that he had grasped something, but it also seemed like he was just a little short.

Zhang Shutong's phone suddenly rang, and he instantly turned his gaze to the new message that popped up in disbelief. It was from "Qinglian".

In other words, she had already sent a message before I sent her that message.

Zhang Shutong suddenly felt an urge. Even though he hadn't opened the message yet, he really wanted to tell Ruoping that they should turn the car around right now, go back to the foot of the mountain, rush to the top together, and then push open the temple door to get to the bottom of things...

Before he could speak, Ruoping had already uttered her words. It all happened in an instant, as if it were destined. By the time he realized this, Ruoping's voice had already echoed in his ears, tinged with a faint sadness:
"You should know that shouting won't do any good."

She choked up a little:
"She can barely hear anymore."

Zhang Shutong was stunned.

The lingering confusion finally exploded in his mind. Zhang Shutong was struck dumb. He suddenly understood why Lu Qinglian entered the main hall without looking back, why she always turned her face to the side when he spoke to her, why she always stared at his lips, and why she seemed a little dazed and always reacted a beat slower...

Zhang Shutong even recalled her little gestures during the video call.

She held the phone speaker to her ear; it wasn't that it was too noisy around her, but rather that she couldn't hear herself at all if she didn't do that.

He thought it was too late when he realized he had something to say.

Zhang Shutong only realized this now, but it wasn't too late.

You expect her to respond, but she doesn't hear you at all.

There was never a chance from the beginning.

No, that's not right, there's still a chance.

Zhang Shutong slammed his fist on the screen, so hard he almost dropped his phone. He opened the message, then his eyes widened as if the message held all the answers.

But there is only one line of text:

Zhang Shutong, please help me see the outside world. That's all there was to it—a simple sentence without any explanation.

Zhang Shutong sent the message she had already prepared, then gripped her phone tightly, hoping another chat window would pop up, since only a few seconds had passed since the last message.

She should know that she has traveled back in time.

Zhang Shutong suddenly thought of something.

As soon as he entered the side hall, he asked Lu Qinglian if she wanted to have dinner together that night. It was only after he finished speaking that she thoughtfully wondered if she was dreaming again.

She clearly sensed something was wrong.

Even so, why won't they explain it clearly?

The message seemed to sink without a trace. One second, two seconds, three seconds... one minute later, Zhang Shutong swallowed hard. When he looked up again, the afterglow of the setting sun had already risen.

A guess arose in his mind, and Zhang Shutong mechanically opened his phone and went straight to the dial pad.

He didn't have her number saved in the phone, but that didn't mean he didn't remember it. The number had a lucky last digit, so he entered it, dialed, and put the receiver to his ear.

"Sorry, the user you are trying to reach is currently unavailable."

A sweet female voice rang in my ears.

Zhang Shutong hung up the phone blankly.

Ruoping watched all of this from the side, and after a long while, she whispered:
"You used to tell me that growing up means you can't cry, you can't throw tantrums, you can't secretly miss someone, and you can't look back. You can only move forward on your own. What do you think now?"

Zhang Shutong was speechless.

He no longer had time to think about when he had said those words.

Who exactly is this referring to, or who isn't? You clearly feel the passage of time not because of the temperature, not because of the cicadas chirping in your ears, not because of the snow that has long since melted, but because everyone, including yourself, has grown up. Zhang Shutong recalled the call records on WeChat from year to year, and the marks on the wishing rack... None of you are allowed to cry, not to lose your temper, not to secretly miss each other, and not to look back. You can only move forward.

The only thing I could do was to show her what the outside world was like.

But that was all made up by herself—non-existent chili peppers, non-existent butterflies. The only thing was that the outside world was countless times larger than her own, so even though it was fake, she found it very interesting.

She was very perceptive and saw through her disguise at a glance, but even so, she did not ask when she had come from, or even whether she could go back.

Perhaps they feel it's impossible.

Ruoping's voice was devoid of emotion.
“Qinglian’s left ear is completely deaf, and she can only hear very faint sounds in her right ear. In the past, when I spoke to her, I only needed to be close to her, but today… I almost had to shout into her ear. Most of the time, she was trying to decipher other people’s lip movements.”

"...What did the doctor say?"

“If it were before, you were the one who took her to the hospital on the fourth day of the Lunar New Year, so you should know the situation best. But over the years… I’ve consulted some people, and they all say that her condition is irreversible and has been dragging on for too long.”

After a sigh, Ruoping ultimately didn't turn back. She drove on, her voice barely audible.
"Some doctors said that it would be good if they knew how she was injured, but she never told the three of us."

It was past six o'clock when I got back to Ruoping's building.

The moving van was parked on the side of the road.

The moving project was finally over. Zhang Shutong silently went upstairs. Mr. and Mrs. Feng were very welcoming to him, and he could only force a smile in response.

Ruoping went to help her mother cook. She had become much stronger, and once she composed herself, she threw herself into the next task.

There was no room to stand in the living room, so Zhang Shutong went upstairs and sat down in Ruoping's room. He looked up at the ceiling. The problems in this timeline were far more complex than they appeared on the surface; much more was lurking beneath the surface. Yet, he still hadn't grasped the crux of the matter. What exactly was the most crucial variable in this timeline...?

Zhang Shutong continued scrolling through his phone, trying to find a few photos and tattoo-like patterns, just like Leng Xuexian had done.

Unfortunately there is nothing.

Zhang Shutong saw a stack of notebooks on Ruoping's desk. He hesitated for a moment, then closed the door and opened the notebooks.

However, Ruoping did not have the habit of keeping a diary, so Zhang Shutong organized them.

Stand in the center of the room and close your eyes.

This place hasn't been used for four years.

If there's anything, it shouldn't be here.

He suddenly remembered something and hurriedly left the room. Next door to the room was a small storeroom where Ruoping had cut her hand.

Zhang Shutong bent over and crawled inside, turning on the light beside him. They had been in such a rush to the hospital that they hadn't had time to clean up yet, and the brown bloodstains were still congealed on the floor.

Zhang Shutong looked at the wooden box that Ruoping wanted to open.

He grabbed the hammer from the ground and pried the nails out in a few quick movements. Everyone says that every little girl has her own treasure chest, and this is Ruoping's treasure chest. Zhang Shutong saw several dolls, Barbie doll figurines, some cute headbands, and even wrappers for gold coin chocolates...

Finally, Zhang Shutong's gaze settled on two wooden plaques.

His heart skipped a beat.

He had just seen the style of the wooden plaque that day; it was the same kind that hung on the wishing rack in the temple. He didn't know why it was hidden here. Zhang Shutong picked up the wooden plaque and read the contents on it.

The first one says:

I hope Qinglian's ears recover soon.

The second one is:

Sorry, sorry...

Zhang Shutong stared at the wishing plaque for a long time without saying a word. Could it be that Lu Qinglian's ear was injured because of Ruoping? But that didn't make sense. The handwriting on the two wooden plaques was completely different, clearly indicating that they were written by two different people. So he could understand the first one, which was undoubtedly written by Ruoping, but what did the second one mean?
Theoretically, the owner's identity can be identified from the handwriting, but the words on the wooden sign were carved on, and were completely different from the usual handwriting. Zhang Shutong subconsciously took out his key and compared it to the sign.

Then he suddenly stopped.

He looked at the key, then stood up.

Zhang Shutong took the item out of his pocket again.

Cell phone, ID card, and keys.

He brought these three items with him to the island this time, which isn't strange in itself. Without the first two, you wouldn't be able to get out, and without the last one, you wouldn't be able to come back.

Every journey must come to an end, and you'll always need a key to open your own front door.

This key looks so familiar.

So much so that he overlooked it.

This is my own house key.

The one in the dormitory building.

But the problem is.

My family moved away from the island last year.

Why would you need to take the key to "your own house"?

(End of this chapter)