Douluo Continent: My Martial Soul is the Black Dragon, I am the Lord of the Gods

……

Xuanming listened quietly to Qian Renxue's impassioned speech, watching her try her best to play the role of savior and guide, attempting to move him with grand plans and seemingly lofty ideals.

Those words about unity, order, and peace may have once stirred a ripple in his heart, even giving him a glimmer of hope for escaping his hopeless fate.

But at this moment, to him, it just sounded... ridiculous.

He felt no anger, no interruption, and even a touch of nostalgia, which surprised even himself, welled up inside him.

Yes, I miss it.

Throughout his life, he seemed to always be carrying a heavy burden, with every step treading on the edge of a knife, and every day a race against death.

The increase in power and the change in status do not bring liberation, but rather a greater and more inescapable shackle and responsibility.

He often finds himself reminiscing about yesterday, feeling that the difficulties of the past weren't so bad after all, and even occasionally wondering if things would have been easier if he had chosen a different path.
For example, the "past" presented in this illusion right now.

If he had truly believed Qian Renxue back then, chosen to attach himself to her, and used the power of the Spirit Hall to solve his own spirit problem, then he would have become a pawn in her plan, working tirelessly for that so-called "peace on the continent"...

Perhaps, he wouldn't have had to endure the bloody massacres that followed, wouldn't have had to bear the sins of millions of dead, wouldn't have had to engage in such a dangerous struggle with the divine realm, and wouldn't have had to suffer the crushing force of the five divine kings' wills at this moment.

That road seemed...much easier.

The thought, like a venomous snake, crept into my mind, whispering seductively.

Give up...

Why go through all this trouble?

Accept the arrangements, integrate into the rules, and you can live a more relaxed life...

Look at the path you've walked; every single day has been worse than the last.

The Five Paths God Kings' keen will detected this subtle emotional fluctuation in him.

It wasn't a wavering, but a deep weariness and a brief glance back at "another possibility".

The Asura God's killing intent stirred slightly, seemingly mocking the weakness hidden within him.

The chaotic whispers of the evil god grew clearer, tempting him to succumb to this instinct for self-preservation.

The god of destruction's sense of annihilation quietly permeated the air, as if suggesting that all struggles would ultimately return to nothingness.

The shackles of order from the God of Goodness loomed faintly, as if saying, "Only by accepting guidance can one return to the right path."

The assimilative and nourishing power of the goddess of life gently enveloped him, as if comforting him to "return to the group and let go of his ego."

However, just as this sense of "nostalgia" and "exhaustion" was about to be magnified and become a crack in the line of will—

Xuanming smiled.

The smile was faint, carrying a hint of world-weariness, yet also possessing an undeniable clarity.

Yesterday wasn't better.

Today is even worse.

Yesterday's "goodness" stemmed from ignorance, weakness, and the fact that all one could see was a small patch of land, where one only needed to struggle for survival.

The troubles of that time seem as insignificant as dust in the face of today's towering waves.

The reason he is "bad" today is because he has seen a wider world, encountered more fundamental rules, and taken on inescapable responsibilities.

The stronger you are, the higher you stand, the more darkness and complexity you see, and the more difficult the choices you have to make.

Is this illusion trying to shake him with the "despair" of the past? Or to lure him with the "simplicity" of the past?
ridiculous.

That so-called "despair" is nothing more than the backlash of the twin martial souls, and the powerlessness of one's own weakness.

Now, he can decide the life and death of millions with a wave of his hand, and can cause the world to change color with a single thought!

That kind of ant-like struggle has long since become a distant memory.

That so-called "simplicity" had long been crushed by his own hands. It was he who chose the cruelest method, forcibly dragging the continent into a new order.

It was he who stood before the chessboard, playing against the divine realm.

Can not go back.

I...don't want to go back.

Once a person has witnessed the vastness of the sky, how could they be content to remain confined to the bottom of a well?
Once a person has the power to make rules, why would they want to go back to being bound by rules?
"If this had happened before the Soul Master Competition, I might have actually fallen victim to it."

Xuanming slowly raised his head. The dazedness and longing in his icy blue eyes completely disappeared, replaced by an absolute coldness and calmness that saw through illusion and looked down upon all living beings.

"Unfortunately, the same trick didn't work the second time."

If he hadn't willingly fallen into the nightmare of that year, hadn't gone through that experience, hadn't felt fear about the past, hadn't been embraced by Gu Yuena without hesitation, and had instead faced this interrogation directly, he believed he would have regretted it, succumbed to despair, given up that difficult pain, and chosen a simpler future.

But there is no if in reality.

He's come this far, and there's no way he'll ever turn back!
"..."

Qian Renxue stopped, her gaze towards Xuan Ming somewhat complicated, and she remained silent.

In those golden eyes, emotions churned that even she herself could not fully discern.

How she wished Xuanming would choose her here, choose that seemingly "easy" path that she had guided.

In that way, perhaps the deep-seated rift between them could be healed, and she could rightfully bring him under her wing, shaping and possessing him in the way she believed was "right."

But at the same time, a deeper fear gripped her.

If he really makes that choice... would he still be the Xuanming she knows?
Xuanming, who would rather bear the weight of heinous sins than not carry out his will in the most extreme way?

If he were to bow down at this moment and succumb to his yearning for "ease," wouldn't all that almost obsessive tenacity and strength that she had been fighting against, angry about, and yet subtly attracted to become a joke?
What she feared seeing was a Xuanming whose edges had been smoothed out and who had compromised, which was even more unacceptable to her than a completely opposing enemy.

Xuanming's all-knowing, subtly mocking calm was like a cold needle, piercing her last shred of unrealistic fantasy.

He saw through it all, not only the essence of this illusion, but perhaps... also her true intention in merging with the divine consciousness of this place.

There was no anger, no rebuke, not even a few extra words.

That utter, condescending indifference made her feel more powerless than any vehement rebuttal.

Her lips moved slightly, but in the end, she couldn't say anything.

The illusion shattered quietly, like a bubble being popped; there was no earth-shattering sound, only a silent and imperceptible disappearance.

Xuanming's consciousness was once again thrown into that familiar, unattached void.

When he "opened" his eyes again, the memories of the confrontation and Qian Renxue's complicated gaze had been quietly erased by an invisible hand, as if they had never existed.

……

Consciousness re-anchors to reality.

An energy aura, a blend of intense heat and extreme cold, wafts towards you, carrying the unique scent of sulfur and some kind of extreme ice crystals.

In my ears, I could hear the whistling of the mountain wind as it passed through the inverted cone-shaped valley, and the gurgling sound of the Ice and Fire Yin-Yang Spring churning in the deep valley below.

He returned to the starting point.

This time, it was the Sunset Forest, the Yin-Yang Well of Ice and Fire, the closest he had ever come to trouble and opportunity in his memory.

His gaze focused, and he saw Poison Douluo Dugu Bo beside him.

He himself was standing on the edge of the valley, looking down at the valley floor shrouded in misty water vapor.

An idea surfaced uncontrollably, clear and alluring:
If... if I hadn't consumed those two immortal herbs, hadn't jumped into that deadly spring, and hadn't become entangled in that deeply intertwined fate with the Ice Dragon King and the Fire Dragon King...

Relying solely on the other immortal herbs at the edge of the Ice and Fire Yin-Yang Well, and with his twin martial souls and innate full soul power, could he also possess a future that might not be so magnificent, but is destined to be bright?
A road that seems smoother and less risky.

No need to deal with the troubles of the dragons, no need to face the pressure from the divine realm... (End of Chapter)