Oh no! They all seem a bit off!

Chapter 190

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, Maki..."

Akizuki Makoto kept apologizing to Shiina Maki, repenting for his sins. The surging emotions in his heart were like a whirlpool, shattering his soul.

“You don’t need to apologize to me, Cheng Jun. You haven’t done anything to wrong me.”

Shiina Maki patiently comforted Akizuki Makoto, gently stroking his head with one hand.

In her arms, Akizuki Makoto trembled like a frightened young animal, his face pale.

“I will share the burden with Chengjun. You can rely on me completely, Chengjun. You don’t need to bear this responsibility and guilt alone.”

"Chengjun, do you know? When I agreed to your request, I always thought that, given President Jiye's personality, he would definitely not approve of the three of us being together."

"Wouldn't that mean I'd have you all to myself? I've been thinking such a despicable thing all along."

In order to calm Makoto Akizuki down, Maki Shiina reveals her true feelings, showing him the dark and despicable side of her heart.

"So, this can't be blamed on Cheng Jun. It was my despicable act that I interfered, even though I knew you and President Ji Ye were of the same mind."

"If I knew the difficulty and had given up, would Cheng-kun be in so much pain?"

"But... I can't give up on Cheng-jun, I can't give up no matter what. I love Cheng-jun so much, and I'm confident that I will never lose to anyone with this feeling!"

Shiina Maki knew very well that if she could let go of these feelings, things would be much easier.

She was well aware that if she didn't force herself to give up, she would encounter all sorts of bitterness and hardship.

but……

Fortunately, the thought of giving up did not cross her mind, nor did it appear more than once or twice.

Therefore, she felt that things were fine as they were, even if she was just a substitute, and even if Akizuki Makoto would be unhappy because of the absence of Himeyasuki.

She is also very selfish. She and Akizuki Makoto are the same kind of people, and they are very compatible in this respect.

Shiina Maki will forgive Akizuki Makoto's sins and share the burden with him, which is exactly what she hopes for.

"Maki... I'm so sorry. Even now, as you warm and comfort me, I'm still thinking about Yuki."

Akizuki Makoto choked back tears as he apologized, confessing his sins. The immense guilt and remorse weighed heavily on him, making it hard for him to breathe.

Previously, he always believed that what he did was right and that he would never regret it. He firmly believed that his choice was the best choice.

But now, those old thoughts are like boomerangs, constantly causing him pain.

"It's alright, Chengjun, I won't hold it against you."

Shiina Maki gently shook her head and said, "I already knew that. Makoto-kun has never lied to me, so he is not wrong and does not need to apologize to me."

After that, she continued to comfort Akizuki Makoto, who seemed to have lost the ability to speak and could only repeat his apologies incoherently, until he gradually calmed down.

This was the first time Shiina Maki had seen Akizuki Makoto in such a vulnerable state, which showed how much pain he was in.

In the past, she was always the one who broke down, and Akizuki Makoto was the one who comforted her.

"When Cheng-kun cries, he's just like a little child, so cute..."

Shiina Maki looked at Akizuki Makoto, who had calmed down, and thought to herself.

Exhausted from crying, Akizuki Makoto fell asleep without realizing it.

He had been constantly on the go all day and was already exhausted, both physically and mentally.

Goodnight, Chengjun.

Shiina Maki sat up slightly, brought her head close to Akizuki Makoto's face, kissed him on the cheek, and said goodnight.

Then, she got out of bed, walked to the bedroom door, and opened it.

As soon as she opened the door, she saw Dongzi squatting in front of the door.

She was holding a black plush rabbit in her arms, her teary eyes red and swollen, clearly from crying.

Sitting outside the door, she felt a pang of sadness as she listened to her brother cry so bitterly.

"Dongzi..."

Shiina Maki looked at Fuyuko, who was squatting on the ground, and squatted down as well. She patted Fuyuko's head affectionately and said softly, "It's okay. Makoto is asleep. Once he's asleep, he'll be back to being the normal Makoto."

Akizuki Makoto has an excellent ability to regulate his emotions. He often only needs to sleep to calm himself down and he can control himself.

"I'm going back first. Dongzi, go keep Chengjun company."

Shiina Maki smiled, withdrew her hand, said goodnight to Fuyuko, and left through the entrance.

At this moment, Dongzi stood up and slowly walked into the bedroom.

She looked at Akizuki Makoto lying on the bed, her eyes filled with sadness and reluctance.

She had known all along that her brother would be in so much pain, but she remained indifferent and even encouraged him.

If she hadn't chosen to disturb them that night on the yacht, everything would have been different.

but……

That is not the path to ultimate happiness.

"Brother, just bear with it a little longer, soon... everything will be as you wish."

Fuyuko murmured softly, hugged the black plush rabbit, climbed onto the bed, and lay down close to Akizuki Makoto's body.

She would give anything for her beloved brother's happiness.

Only in the future she guides will her brother have no regrets, nor will he be on the verge of collapse and despondent due to various things.

Until then, Akizuki Makoto must continue to endure this pain until the "night of destiny" she foresaw arrives.

……

……

Time flies since I returned from Osaka; a month has passed in the blink of an eye.

During this month, Akizuki Makoto adjusted his mindset and gradually got used to life without Himeyasu.

Although he occasionally feels nostalgic and sad, he has decided to take responsibility for Shiina Maki, who loves him deeply.

Having already let down Ji Yexue, he cannot hurt Shiina Maki any further.

From the day he returned from Osaka, Akizuki Makoto completely lost contact with the Himeya family and had no idea about their current situation.

However, from the changes in the ownership and stock of the companies under the Himeya Group, Akizuki Makoto could tell that the Himeya family had been having a very difficult time in the past month.

Furthermore, some news reports have also revealed rumors about the Ji Ye family, including internal scandals and economic sanctions.

Akizuki Makoto kept a close eye on these messages. Even though he had no connection with the Ji Ye family anymore, he hoped that one day he could do something to help Ji Yexue.

During this period, he also completed his novel, "White Night".

Today was the day to go to the Shinchosha headquarters to discuss matters with Reika Komatsu and several senior executives. Surprisingly, Rin Shiraishi was also among them; she had heard that Makoto Akizuki was going to release a new novel and suggested coming.

Because she was the president's daughter, she was allowed to attend the meeting, and Akizuki Makoto didn't mind her coming along.

His novel, "White Night Walk," received high royalties after being highly praised by a group of editors and will be published in a week.

This timeframe was requested by Makoto Akizuki, who wanted his work to be released as soon as possible, so he asked Shinchosha to give him the absolute deadline.

Shinchosha had originally planned to spend time promoting the product and expanding its influence, but due to Akizuki Makoto's request, they had no choice but to comply.

However, given Akizuki Makoto's current fame, he could sell very well even without special promotion.

For the initial printing, they decided to sell 500,000 copies directly, expecting them to sell out within a week, and then gradually resell them.

Thanks to him, Makoto Akizuki also made a fortune this time, receiving nearly 100 million yen in royalties.

"This amount of money is just a drop in the ocean compared to the Ji Ye family's wealth..."

Looking at the string of numbers displayed on the contract, Akizuki sighed inwardly.

If he could, he would like to help Ji Yexue with money, but the Ji Ye family's assets are measured in trillions. Even if he wrote nonstop for the rest of his life, he probably wouldn't earn trillions.

After discussing the collaboration, Akizuki Makoto returned home and updated his personal social media account with a preview of his new book.

……

……

Meanwhile, at the Himeya family residence in Minato Ward.

"...A new book?"

Ji Yexue, who was resting in her room, saw a notification pop up on her phone on the table. She glanced at it subconsciously and her eyes narrowed when she saw that it was a notification from a social media app.

She picked up her phone, unlocked the screen, and tapped on the message she was following.

The name displayed above is none other than Akizuki Kageaki. He released a preview of his new book and revealed its title and synopsis.

"...You still have the mind to write books. You're so lucky without me."

Ji Yexue muttered to herself, a sudden weariness creeping into her heart.

A month had passed since their meeting in Osaka. She thought she had finally let go and would no longer dwell on Akizuki Makoto. After all, their argument that time was so fierce; it was practically a farewell, wasn't it?
But when she sees news about Akizuki Makoto, her heart is still involuntarily stirred.

She stared at the message for a long time until her phone screen automatically turned off.

The screen was off, reflecting her face, which looked somewhat haggard and listless, faintly revealing a hint of melancholy and exhaustion.

In Osaka, the main family of Himeya and its branch families completely broke down in negotiations, and what awaited them was a frenzied counterattack from the branch families.

In just one month, the Ji Ye family suffered heavy losses, and former friends have now become enemies.

During this period, she was in a state of high tension.

Although she is exceptionally talented, she lacks social experience and her methods are not mature enough.

Even her mother couldn't handle those cunning politicians and businessmen, let alone her.

As the heir of the Ji Ye family, she is far from being qualified; she is pitifully inexperienced.

Just as Ji Yelongjun had rebuked her, if she were to take over the Ji Ye family now, the family business, which had lasted for hundreds of years, would probably be destroyed in no time, within half a year or a year.

Whenever Ji Yexue realizes her shortcomings, she always thinks back to how strict her grandfather was with her.

Those painful memories have now become happy and precious.

"...I'm getting more and more sentimental."

Ji Yexue laughed self-deprecatingly, lay down on the tatami, stared blankly at the ceiling.

Logically, she should be attending a meeting with her mother now, learning how to manage the family business, and so on.

But recently she has been in a bad state, her mood is unpredictable, and she becomes extreme and furious as soon as she is provoked.

She had already lost her composure several times during important meetings, so her mother told her to stay home and rest until she felt better.

Ji Yexue also knew that she was now a burden, unable to share the family's pressure or help in any way, so she stayed at home obediently.

According to the doctor's diagnosis, she became like this because of neurasthenia, which is a mental illness, caused by enormous stress and stimulation.

Since parting ways with Akizuki Makoto in Osaka, her heart has been completely shattered, as if a piece of her soul is missing.

That was something that could never be made up for, a pain she could never forget for the rest of her life.

"Trying to escape again..."

When Ji Yexue thought of her grandfather, it wasn't just a matter of missing him; it was also accompanied by immense pressure and guilt.

She had promised her grandfather that she would take on the responsibilities of the Ji Ye family heir, but now she was in such a wretched state.

This made her restless and unable to eat or sleep, and it also gave rise to thoughts of escaping.

I want to disappear, I want to be free, I want to be irresponsible and carefree...

This thought kept swirling in her mind, causing her great distress.

Unable to bear it any longer, Ji Yexue rolled up the sleeves of her kimono and picked up the small knife that was placed on the table.

The blade of the knife reflected a silver light, as smooth and delicate as a mirror.

She held the knife slightly above the artery in her wrist and made a gentle cut. Beads of bright red blood seeped from her skin and stuck to the knife.

The stinging and burning sensation caused by the blade cutting her skin provided some relief to her distressed state of mind.

Now, Ji Yexue has gained a new piece of knowledge: she can understand what those who self-harm are thinking.

Physical pain can alleviate emotional pain.

When she experiences immense pressure, if she doesn't self-harm, she feels like a drowning person, experiencing chest tightness, shortness of breath, and extreme discomfort.

Ji Yexue didn't want to do this either. As the saying goes, "Our bodies and hair are given to us by our parents." If her mother saw the scars from her self-harm, she would be heartbroken.

But she couldn't control herself; she was afraid that if she didn't do this, if she didn't relieve her inner distress and pressure, she would do something even more outrageous.

"Let's scratch it again. It should heal in a few days after applying the medicine..."

Ji Yexue looked at the faint red marks on her wrist, hesitated for a moment, and then cut them again with a knife.

She watched quietly as crimson blood seeped from the wound, congealing into beads. The stinging pain slightly eased her oppressive heart.

After that, the blood clotted, and she washed the blood off her hands with water. Then she called the maid and prepared ointment to apply.

"Oh, right, go ask Shinchosha about Akizuki Kageaki's new work and have them send over a copy."

Just as the maid was about to leave, Ji Yexue called out to her.

Ji Yexue didn't know why she wanted to watch Akizuki Makoto's new work, even though she had already decided to have nothing to do with him anymore.

(End of this chapter)