Oh no! They all seem a bit off!

Chapter 177 What if... you wanted both?

"I didn't leave you, I'm right here. Calm down, don't get agitated."

Makoto Akizuki was still trying to appease Maki Shiina, but at the same time he knew that such an explanation would not be enough to fool her.

The meaning expressed by Shiina Maki was completely different from what he said.

When Shiina Maki said he left her, she meant he chose someone else.

He knew it, of course, but he had no choice but to play dumb.

"Akizuki-kun, you like President Himeya, right?"

Shiina Maki raised her head, tears streaming down her face, and looked at Akizuki Makoto with despair, saying, "She's better than me, isn't she?"

"..."

Faced with Shiina Maki's direct question, Akizuki Makoto was speechless for a moment.

At this point, he could no longer run away, because if he did, he would undoubtedly be betraying his feelings for Ji Yexue.

He didn't want to betray both Himeyasuki and Shiina Maki's feelings.

"...I'm sorry, Shiina."

At this moment, all Akizuki Makoto could say was "I'm sorry."

This can be seen as his admission that he prefers Himeyasu to Shiina Maki.

There's no point in continuing to hide it anymore. Shiina Maki isn't stupid; she's just been comforting herself and deceiving herself all along.

But now she can no longer deceive herself.

"Akizuki-kun, why... did you abandon me too?"

Shiina Maki muttered to herself in a daze, her inner pain beyond description.

At this moment, she felt utterly hopeless, as if she had been ostracized and detached from the entire world.

Admittedly, she has two good friends, Rie Niijima and Rin Shiraishi, who would lend her a helping hand if she encountered any difficulties.

But that's not what she really wants; what she wants is someone closer to her.

Moreover, Akizuki Makoto's importance to her is self-evident.

She revered Akizuki Makoto as a god and savior, and even in death, she wanted to be with him and could not give him up.

She would feel it was an immense honor if he said just one word, even if it meant her death.

"I'm sorry, Shiina, I can't reciprocate your feelings, but if there's anything you need from me, I'll do my best to help you."

"……don't want."

"what?"

Makoto Akizuki didn't hear Maki Shiina's whisper clearly and asked a question instinctively.

The next second, Shiina Maki suddenly raised her head and shouted in uncontrollable despair, "I said, stop being so gentle with me! Since you chose President Himeya, don't be gentle with me!"

"Won't this make me misunderstand? Won't this make it impossible for me to give up? Won't this leave me with the last glimmer of hope?"

"How cruel, Akizuki-kun, you are so cruel! You chose Himeya-senpai, but you didn't tell me that you would continue to be gentle with me!"

Makoto Akizuki stared blankly at Maki Shiina, a pang of pain shooting through his heart.

"Leave me alone!"

Finally, Shiina Maki shouted and ran away from Akizuki Makoto, running back into the hospital.

As Qiuyue Cheng watched her figure disappear into the distance, he knew he should chase after her, but his legs felt like they were made of lead, so heavy that he couldn't move.

What right does he have to pursue her?

The title of "friend" was no longer enough for him to continue helping Shiina Maki.

"Did I... do something wrong again?"

Qiuyue murmured in frustration, her heart filled with confusion and disappointment.

Admittedly, he preferred Ji Yexue and chose Ji Yexue, but this did not conflict with his concern for Shiina Maki.

He wanted to help Shiina Maki, didn't want her to be so sad, and wanted her to be happy and escape the shadows of the past.

Maki Shiina's past is already suffocating enough, and now she is facing two major blows: heartbreak and the fact that her only remaining family member is terminally ill.

It's no exaggeration to say that even if Shiina Maki were to have suicidal thoughts and take her own life, Akizuki Makoto wouldn't be surprised.

……

After running back into the hospital, Shiina Maki didn't go straight to her mother's ward. Instead, she ran into the bathroom, hid in an empty stall, and cried her heart out.

Just as Akizuki Makoto had guessed, the double blow of heartbreak and a loved one's terminal illness within a single day caused her heart to suddenly collapse.

She had lost everything and had lost the meaning of her life.

"Waaaah...waaah...why...why..."

"Why... I just... I just wanted Akizuki-kun... to stay by my side..."

"Why...was it taken away...?"

Shiina Maki couldn't understand what Akizuki Makoto wanted. Did she really have no charm at all?

Does Akizuki Makoto not even have the slightest bit of affection for her?

Mingming, when Akizuki Makoto was with her, he always seemed very happy, treated her gently, and did not reject physical contact with her.

She didn't understand what Akizuki Makoto was thinking, nor did she know what he wanted.

Previously, Akizuki Makoto had always been indifferent to Ji Yexue, rejecting and resisting her. But after only a month, he said he had fallen in love with Ji Yexue.
"As expected, compared to someone like me, President Himeya and Akizuki-kun are a much better match..."

Shiina Maki muttered to herself, her face full of disappointment and despair.

She always knew very well that, in every aspect, she was no match for Ji Yexue, so it was normal for her to lose.

Anyone would think that Ji Yexue and Qiuyue Cheng are a better match.

Ji Yexue is better than her in appearance, intelligence, and talent, and her family background is far superior to hers.

Akizuki Makoto has even met Himeyasuki's family, and seems to visit the Himeyasuki family frequently.

Naturally, Akizuki Makoto would definitely fall for Himeyasuki.

She was nothing more than a stepping stone to advance their relationship; she was a complete loser.

"...I want to die. Why am I in so much pain right now? I can't take it anymore."

At one point, Shiina Maki had a thought of suicide, but it wasn't a strong one.

She still had some concerns, and still hoped to reconcile with her mother and stay by her side.

Even if she wanted to die, she wanted to wait until she reconciled with her mother before she died.

Afterwards, Maki Shiina stayed in the toilet stall for about half an hour until her emotions gradually calmed down and her tears dried before she left.

But she didn't go to her mother, because she knew very well that she must be in a terrible state.

If I go to see my mother and tell her the whole story, I'll only be met with her sarcastic remarks, right?

After all, everything my mother said back then has come true.

She disobeyed her mother, and as a result, she was abandoned.

No... saying "abandoned" doesn't seem quite right either; her relationship with Akizuki Makoto has always been defined only as friendship.

Akizuki Makoto and she had no special relationship, so there was no question of him abandoning her; it was just her wishful thinking and delusions.

She had presumptuously assumed that she could win Akizuki Makoto's favor. But now the dream was over, and she had to face the cruel reality, even though she was already teetering on the brink of collapse.

……

at the same time.

Akizuki Makoto didn't go straight home either, but instead took the tram to the private sanatorium in the port area where Himeya Ryushun was staying.

Although it was a surprise visit, the security personnel and his personal medical staff still allowed him to enter and see Himeya Ryushun.

Fortunately, he arrived just as Ji Yelong was awake.

Himeya Ryushun is currently only conscious for a few hours each day, spending the rest of the time in a coma and asleep.

"Cough...cough cough..."

When Akizuki Makoto pushed open the ward door and entered the ward, Himeya Ryushun, who was lying on the bed being carefully cared for by the nurse, immediately noticed him.

Because of his strong emotional fluctuations, he immediately started coughing, seemingly surprised that Akizuki Makoto would suddenly come to visit him.

"Grandpa, long time no see."

Qiuyue Cheng approached the bedside and bowed his head to greet him.

He hadn't visited Ji Yelongjun for a week. He used to come with Ji Yexue, so this was the first time he had come alone like this.

"Long time no see."

Ji Yelongjun's lips trembled as he asked in a weak voice, "Why...did you come so suddenly today? Aren't you with...Xiaoxue?"

"No, I came alone."

Qiu Yuecheng shook his head, pulled over a caregiver's chair, and said softly, "I suddenly wanted to see Grandpa. I hope I won't bother you."

"Ha ha……"

Ji Yelong smiled, then said to the nurse who was taking care of him, "You... go out first."

"Ok."

The nurse nodded, said nothing, and left without hesitation.

She accompanied Himeya Ryushun here to observe his condition, but there was actually nothing for her to do.

After the nurse left, Ji Yelong asked, "So, what's wrong? You look so preoccupied."

"Nothing... really."

Akizuki Makoto scratched his head. He really didn't come here to see Himeya Ryushun; he just wanted to have a chat.

He was feeling lost and wanted to talk to Ji Yelongjun, a wise and experienced old man, to see if he could ease his mind.

"...How are things going with Xiaoxue?"

After a moment of silence, Ji Yelongjun didn't press the matter further, but instead asked about something he had always been concerned about.

"pretty good."

Akizuki nodded, but felt that this wasn't enough, so he added, "I've decided to support her through life."

"..."

Upon hearing this, Ji Yelongjun's eyes widened slightly, and his cloudy eyes instantly became clear.

"Haha, that's good, I can rest assured now."

Then he laughed, and his old, thin face regained some spirit and vitality.

This news was undoubtedly the best news he could receive before his death.

In this way, he could go in peace and finally breathe his last.

"But... I feel lost and confused now."

Akizuki lowered his head and said in a dry voice, "Although this matter will not change my choice and my feelings, I have another girl I can't let go of, who is suffering because of my choice."

"That's right."

Ji Yelongjun's reaction was calm and he was not surprised. Since ancient times, outstanding people have always attracted attention and become entangled in a love triangle.

However, in ancient times, there was no such thing as social morality, so there were concubines and male favorites.

In modern society, concubines and male lovers have become mistresses and lovers. Most wealthy and powerful people are not clean, after all, humans are all driven by emotions and desires.

Ji Yelong asked, "So, you've come to ask me what to do?"

"No...that's not what I meant. I just feel so choked up inside, and I don't know who to talk to."

For Akizuki Makoto, the only person he could think of to confide in was Himeya Ryushun.

Previously, he confided in Dongzi, but if he told Dongzi about these emotional entanglements, she probably wouldn't understand.

And he certainly couldn't confide in Ji Yexue, or even Rie Niijima or Rin Shiraishi.

"If it were me, I would only weigh the pros and cons and not be bound by emotions."

At this point, Ji Yelongjun paused and continued, "But you are different. You can't do it, which is why you are confused. So there is only one thing you need to do, which is to worry about what to do."

"This……"

Akizuki Makoto didn't expect Himeya Ryushun to answer him like that.

He had assumed that Ji Yelong would side with Ji Yexue, analyze the situation for him, and then encourage him to firmly choose Ji Yexue.

Ji Yelongjun's current wish is that he can date Ji Yexue, take responsibility for her life, and support her, right?

"You should be more decisive. Even if you have to do something that hurts others, you should have a firm resolve, like that guy from the Three Kingdoms, who was it again..."

"Cao Cao, I would rather betray the world than let the world betray me?"

"Yes, my memory has been getting worse lately, and I've forgotten a lot of things."

Ji Yelongjun sighed, his words filled with a carefree spirit.

"Fight for what you want, by any means necessary, and give it your all, instead of letting yourself be constantly troubled."

Even if you are despised and insulted, you must remain steadfast.

"Only in this way can you get what you want. Being timid and hesitant, and worrying about everything, will only make you lose more."

Ji Yelong said calmly, recalling that he also seemed to have a love-hate entanglement when he was young.

But that was so long ago, he had forgotten it all. He only remembered that he had once been as lost as Akizuki Makoto.

"..."

Akizuki listened silently to Himeya Ryūshun's teachings, his heart filled with complex emotions.

As he understood it, Himeya Ryushun was telling him to do whatever he wanted, even if it hurt others.

But it seems that no matter what he does, someone will always get hurt.

If you choose Himeyasuki, then Shiina Maki will get hurt, and vice versa.

but if……

An impractical and unprecedentedly bold idea suddenly arose in Akizuki Makoto's mind, which even he found absurd.

He even wondered what the consequences would be if he wanted both.

Will it hurt both people, or will it bring redemption to both of them?
"No, no, no, that definitely won't work. If I dare to bring it up, Xue will definitely get angry..."

Makoto Akizuki shook his head, trying to dismiss the idea, but this crazy and absurd thought seemed to have taken root in his heart and was growing rapidly.

(End of this chapter)