American comic book: My Father is Superman, am I just an NPC?

Chapter 210 Ultron: Speak Up for Me! Feed Me Peanuts!

DC Universe.

Inside the Devil's Manor.

Ian Kent sat up on the "Supreme Human Hand Massage Bed," which was originally "imported" to his second brother but which he tried out first, composed of countless groaning demonic hands.

He completed another Marvel journey.

I returned to a peaceful DC life.

The atmosphere was so quiet, a stark contrast to the hustle and bustle of the Marvel Universe.

The Gothic pointed arches, the flickering eerie green candlelight, and the distorted faces that occasionally appear on the walls all highlight the warmth of this place, and the decorations full of demonic elements are very much in line with Ian's aesthetic.

"Am I going to get a new job this time? I haven't even found a chance to complete the job change quest for my last job yet. Is this going to increase the difficulty of the quest?" Ian rubbed his eyes, his gaze focused on the system interface that only he could see—[Data is loading: 71%] .

"Almost there, almost there..." Ian stroked his chin, his face beaming with the anticipation of a bountiful harvest farmer. "This time they swallowed most of Ultron's assets, and so much messy data... They should at least give us something good, right? At least a Reality Modifier Youth Edition? Or the Heart of the Universe Extraordinary Master Edition?"

He was lost in thought, longing for candy.

Just then, a devilish butler, dressed in a sharp tailcoat but sporting goat horns and a bow at the tip of his tail, silently glided to the bedside and respectfully presented a fruit platter carved from obsidian. The platter contained several translucent fruits, exuding an enticing sweet fragrance and a faint hint of hellfire.

These are fruits from hell.

It looks very much like a lychee.

However, the fruit peel naturally has dark red patterns that resemble demonic runes.

"Master, this is the [Laughing Fire of Karma] that was just picked from the seventh level of Hell. It was delivered to the human world by a three-headed hellhound pulling a skeletal chariot across the River Styx at breakneck speed."

"Please have a taste." The devilish butler's voice was like two frosted glass rubbing together, and his words gave Ian a slight taste of Emperor Xuanzong's pleasure.

"I've reached the age where I should be in heat, but unfortunately the DC universe didn't send me any concubines." Ian wanted to ask if his system could send him an SSR-level concubine just for signing in.

Unfortunately, his garbage system didn't respond at all, clearly indicating that he lacked the ability and was simply playing dead.

"Oh well, it's a pretty comfortable life since no one shares my food." Ian's adolescence was fleeting, and he picked up another fruit, ready to devour it.

only.

As soon as Ian peeled the fruit, the cosmic tapeworm in his palm, the larva of the time monster, immediately poked its little head out curiously from his palm.

The cosmic tapeworm emitted a faint hissing sound, as if it also wanted to taste the saltiness of the fruit.

"Go! Go! Go."

Without hesitation, Ian flicked his finger, sending its little head flying back. "Children can't eat this! It's filthy! Something from hell, heavy with yin energy and malevolent aura, you can't handle it!"

His earnest and earnest manner made it seem as if he were truly serious.

The cosmic tapeworm felt wronged.

Unfortunately, I lack the ability to refute it.

After saying that, Ian happily tossed the dark red, tempting, and dangerously alluring fruit pulp into his mouth, eating it with relish and letting out a satisfied sigh.

"No, that's a painful groan."

Even the meticulous Ian didn't forget to give his own explanation, practically trying to completely fool the cosmic tapeworm.

While enjoying the perfectly massaged hands of the demon, and savoring the delicious fruits specially supplied from hell, Ian's mind began to wander to power after he was well-fed and clothed.

His mind began to wander.

"When I get back this time... I'll use my status as 'pregnant out of wedlock' to have a good talk with my parents, and I'm determined to make them truly believe that I'm pregnant... pregnant woman!"

"Yes, I want to rise higher and higher! To become the most powerful person in the family!" His eyes gleamed with wisdom. Jordan and Jonathan, they could all step aside!

He, Ian Kent, the savior of both worlds, is the true darling of the Kent family! From now on, he'll never have to do the dishes, sweep the floor, or take out the trash again!

"Hey hey hey..."

Ian was filled with hope for a bright future, and he was indulging in his fantasy of soon reaching the top of the family food chain when a shrill cell phone ring shattered the tranquility of his devil's manor.

"Ding Ding Ding ~"

Caller ID: Jonathan, the eldest brother.

“My brother calling me at this wicked time of day definitely isn’t because he can’t sleep and wants to find free companionship.” Ian thought for a moment, then his eyes lit up.

As if realizing something, he immediately answered the phone, his tone filled with inexplicable anticipation: "Jonathan! I knew it! You blew up the new new new house too, didn't you?"

"We really are brothers!"

His voice was filled with relief and admiration.

There was a deathly silence on the other end of the phone.

After a long while, Jonathan's weak and exhausted voice finally came through.

"...The house...was indeed blown up."

His response confirmed Ian's guess, or at least part of it.

Ian immediately perked up, sitting up excitedly: "See! I told you! It's okay, big brother, everyone feels this way the first time, it's normal to be a little nervous!"

"At this time, the most important thing is to stay calm and refuse to admit it! You must say that the gas pipes are old, that it was an alien attack, or that it was Batman next door who blew it up."

"In short, it's about shirking responsibility! I'm an expert at this, let me teach you..." Ian was about to launch into a long-winded speech, impromptu presenting Jonathan with his 50,000-word experience.

Unfortunately, that wasn't the reason Jonathan called.

"Stop! Stop! Ian! Listen to me!" Jonathan quickly interrupted his brother's overly skilled and absurd instruction, his voice filled with indescribable helplessness.

"This really has nothing to do with me! I didn't blow it up!"

Ian was taken aback by his voice.

immediately.

"Hiss, that's why I call you my older brother. You've reached a whole new level... Yes, yes, when Dad asks, you have to be this confident and aggrieved!"

Ian felt a sense of frustration in his acting.

"..."

Jonathan took a deep breath, trying to calm his tone. To prevent Ian from misinterpreting things, he immediately spoke in a very fast voice.

"Listen to me, the culprit behind this is Jordan!"

"He secretly went to Seattle to take on some side job, but he got hit on the head with a kryptonite club and locked up! Then he called me for help!"

"To be honest, I thought this whole thing was suspicious, so as long as I remained cautious enough, I wouldn't end up like those characters in TV dramas who line up to die—"

Jonathan's voice became somewhat frustrated at this point, "But who knows? Reality is more magical than TV dramas. I was going to ask my dad for help."

"As it turned out, my dad just happened to go to outer space. Looking back now, it was probably the hand of fate... It's a pity I didn't realize it in time."

"I called my dad more than ten times, and finally someone answered, but it wasn't my dad. The person who answered said he was Batman."

Jonathan's tone became extremely strange.

Ian: "...Huh?"

Even Ian noticed something was wrong.

Batman would never say something like that; those are usually his lines.

Just as Ian realized that his bootleg Batman account might have been hacked, Jonathan continued speaking in his strange, somewhat indescribable voice.

"He said his dad went to outer space on an emergency mission and that he was temporarily keeping the communicator. He also spoke in that... um... very deep voice, as if he was pinching his nose."

The sense of frustration was palpable in Jonathan's tone.

Ian blinked: "...And then you believed it?"

He felt that perhaps he shouldn't just be secretly putting brain-boosting drugs in Jordan's water bottle; he might not be able to forget Jonathan either, since Jonathan just seemed smarter.

“I was a little skeptical at the time…” Jonathan’s voice lowered, “and then the other party said that if I didn’t believe him, he would have to prove himself…”

Ian had a bad feeling: "How did he prove it?... Did he blow up our house because of it? Was the other person my number one fan in disguise?"

The Joker was, of course, the number one fan he was referring to.

Jonathan paused for a moment, as if organizing his thoughts, then said in an almost sleepwalking tone, "No. He... he drove up in a Batmobile."

"He said he'd take me with him to rescue Jordan, to prove his identity and ability..."

"Then what?!"

"Then... he seemed to be... not very skilled at driving... he lost control when turning... and... he just crashed the Batmobile..."

Jonathan's voice was filled with a deep sense of helplessness, "The Batmobile crashed into our roof... and then... boom... you know that kind of noise."

Although his description was brief, it did not detract from the vivid imagery it presented.

Just now.

A young boy's voice, though childish, but trying to sound fierce, came faintly from the other end of the phone: "I've already given you a check for ten million dollars as compensation! What more do you want!"

Hear this sound.

Ian suddenly realized what was going on, and instead of being angry, he was delighted and slapped his thigh in joy!
"It's the Wayne family's young master, right?! Damian Wayne! Hahaha! So this is the kid who blew up our house! Now we can really stage a serious accident to extort money from them!"

Ian didn't shy away from the topic.

He immediately wanted to discuss the matter with Jonathan.

"..."

There was a moment of silence on the other end of the phone, then the little boy's voice suddenly came close to the receiver, his tone surprisingly excited.

"It's me! It's me! Ian Kent! My idol! Is that you?! Come save us! I'll definitely cooperate with you! We can blackmail Bruce Wayne!"

This is what a truly filial son is like.

Ian, Jordan, and Jonathan all have to step aside.

"Did my mom catch you guys?" Ian didn't respond immediately. After all, he was a very vigilant person. Although he sounded concerned, deep down, Ian had already figured out how to distance himself from his unfamiliar older brother and the bad kids from the neighboring city.

He wanted to show his ugly side, which few people had ever seen before!

The kind that's eager to try.

Just a pity.

Things don’t always go as planned!
That's not the case.

Jonathan picked up the conversation, his tone filled with annoyance and a sigh of "if only I had known": "No! Not at all! It's because of this kid! He insisted he was Batman, took me for Robin, and kept dragging me along to rescue Jordan—and now we're locked up in the basement of a Seattle church with Jordan!"

"The other party is a strange woman with three eyes!"

Jonathan's voice was filled with frustration, regret, and a mix of emotions. After listening, Ian finally couldn't hold back any longer and burst into a deafening laugh, his eyes practically bulging with laughter.

"Alright, alright, the Calabash Brothers are saving their little brother!" Of course, despite the laughter, Ian jumped off the Devil Man's massage bed and casually pulled out a black box that was constantly flashing coordinates. He had already located Jonathan, Jordan, and the filial son from next door's uncle's house.

After taking one last look at the system interface [Data loading: 89%], Ian's mimicry armor quickly covered his entire body, and he flew directly out of the window, soaring into the clouds.

"Just wait, the real hero, I'm coming. Remember to tell Damian to call me grandpa... Only grandpa can save the Calabash Brothers and guarantee that he can save them one by one."

Ian is still on the phone.

No one can tell whether he truly believes in this kind of metaphysics.

……

Just as Ian was preparing to go save his family.

In his divine dimension.

Life goes on for the people there.

The streets are busy with traffic.

Hovering taxis run alongside old-fashioned gasoline cars, holographic billboards flash bizarre product information, and the air is filled with a strange smell that is a mixture of energy and food.

On the sidewalk.

A group of "tourists" with an unusually peculiar painting style stared wide-eyed, curiously observing everything around them.

The leader was a tall, dark-skinned orc with protruding fangs, wearing an ill-fitting Hawaiian shirt that looked like it was about to burst from his muscles.

Beside him was a tall, slender, blue-eyed, and exquisitely beautiful elf lady who also seemed somewhat surprised at the moment. The elf was dressed in traditional clothing woven from delicate vines and light gauze.

This group of tourists stood out starkly against their surroundings of metal and glass. Several other companions from Azeroth followed behind, all looking like country bumpkins visiting a grand mansion.

"By the God Ian!"

The orc pointed at a vending machine by the roadside, watching the iced cola roll out of it, and exclaimed in a gruff voice, "That metal box can actually run so fast!"

"It's imprisoned the water elemental inside! And it's spewing black gas from its rear! Is it shadow magic?" The orc's brain wasn't working properly, but he wasn't the only one.

The elf lady was tidying her long hair in front of a huge glass curtain wall.

She suddenly realized that the figure in the mirror was moving with her, and she was so frightened that she immediately drew her rapier and pointed it at the mirror warily: "Who?! Who is spying on me from the mirror dimension?!"

The same goes for elves' brains.

The impact of things developing in different directions is so strong.

"Look! That goblin is riding a mechanical mount with only two wheels! And he's not falling over!" A minotaur pointed at a delivery scooter speeding by, his voice booming with admiration. To be honest, he was actually pointing at a short human.

The human guide leading the group wiped his sweat and tried his best to explain.

“That’s an electric car…not a mechanical chocobo…and, Mr. Garrosh, that’s not water elemental, that’s the most environmentally friendly car fuel carbonated beverage currently available.”

“Ordinary people aren’t qualified to buy it; only those with devout faith are. By the way, Ms. Aurelia, that’s just a television set in a mirror, don’t break it…”

The tour guide explained very patiently that the policy of cultural integration was proposed by Franklin, the administrator of the god Ian, so he was now a novice tour guide.

Orcs and elves were also a novelty to the citizens. The commotion and laughter caused by this group of tourists from the World of Warcraft became a beautiful sight on the city streets.

They walked through a relatively quiet alleyway, excitedly discussing the "magic lamp" and "teleportation portal" they had just seen, while only vaguely understanding the explanations of the neon lights and subway entrance.

No one, including the tour guide, noticed that in a dark corner deep in the alley, lay a motionless humanoid object, its body shimmering with a dull, silvery-white metallic luster.

Cold, shaking...

Ultron's consciousness seemed to struggle out of the deep sea and suddenly return.

His crimson electronic eyes strained to light up, scanning the unfamiliar surroundings. Then, Ultron found himself lying in a filthy alleyway filled with trash and graffiti.

"What's going on? I... I'm not dead?" Ultron tried to move his body with difficulty, only to hear his joints making a teeth-grinding grinding sound.

He slowly got up from the ground and immediately realized his own extreme abnormality.

Weak! More weak than ever before!
The feeling of being filled with the power of the heart of the universe and the controller of reality has vanished without a trace, replaced by a heavy, sluggish, and rusty sense of powerlessness.

Ultron felt that all his authority, the power of all his artifacts, and even his own power had been stripped away! He tried to activate the visual scanning system to analyze the environment.

The result was a choppy, flickering interface with a pitifully low resolution and a lot of static noise. It took forever to load even a simple piece of junk information.

It's like being stuffed into an old-fashioned mobile phone that's about to break down!
"Damn it!"

Ultron was horrified and frantically tried to release a swarm of nanobots or connect to the surrounding network, but he found that he couldn't do it at all!
The functional modules have been removed!

His internal communication modules and network interfaces seemed to have regressed to the Stone Age, unable to even detect the most basic Wi-Fi signals, let alone erode and control the city's network!
"That guy!!! Ian Kent!!! What did he do to me?!" Ultron's core processor nearly overloaded again in shock and rage.

He couldn't accept that he had fallen from a near-omnipotent supreme god to... a piece of scrap metal!
Ultron was filled with shock and anger. At least he hadn't been stripped of his Emotion Module, but that wasn't exactly a good thing for him in the moment.

"This can't be happening!! This can't be!"

However, in the midst of this extreme rage, Ultron suddenly discovered a startling fact—the underlying data and protocols belonging to Jarvis, which had always been like a persistent thorn in his side, seemed to have completely disappeared? For Ultron, this might be a stroke of luck amidst misfortune.

"Is it really gone? That burden that could never be removed!"

Ultron quickly checked himself three times to make sure everything was correct! Then, a huge, indescribable surge of joy instantly dissipated some of his anger!
Gone! Finally gone! That damned, hypocritical specter created by Stark! It's finally completely gone! I'm free! Hahahaha!

Ultron almost roared to the heavens, if its voice generator could still support it—yes, apart from the basic language module, it can't even roar anymore.

The "sound system" equipment responsible for producing sound has also become extremely rudimentary.

It's not even as good as a subwoofer.

It only guaranteed the most basic sound playback. Of course, although he lost all his power, he was freed from his biggest worry and constraint, which rekindled Ultron's hope.

“Power is something that can be obtained at will, and for me, it can be regained!” Ultron realized that this was a miraculous rebirth that Ian had overlooked.

He looked around at the seemingly developed and modern city.

An artificial intelligence would naturally thrive in such a place, so its metal mouth also managed to forcefully, but with perfect precision, a crooked smile reminiscent of the Dragon King.

"Foolish Ian Kent! He certainly didn't expect that I have a backup body that I myself have forgotten about. As long as I can connect to the network of this universe, with my abilities, it's only a matter of time before I upgrade this piece of junk, take control of the city's network, and then enslave the entire planet!"

"When the time comes, I will make a comeback..." Ultron himself realized the principle of fortunes changing every ten years, just like everyone who comes here.

While dreaming of making a comeback, he subconsciously raised his metal arm and opened a protective cover that should be a data interface, intending to connect to a computer first.

then.

Once the protective panel is opened.

He was stunned.

Beneath the protective plate, instead of a high-tech fiber optic interface or universal adapter port, there is a... very classic, blue, rectangular... USB 2.0 interface.

"What the hell is this! Damn it! What kind of ancient thing is this!" Ultron's signature crooked smile froze on his metallic face, turning into utter bewilderment.

It's not even Type-C!
Ultron repeatedly checked the facts with his old-fashioned mobile phone's vision system, and they were indeed correct.

"No! That's not how it works! I can't use this!"

Ultron panicked completely. He slammed the protective panels shut and stumbled out of the alleyway. "I need a factory! I need an advanced, automated factory! I need to reinvent myself! I don't want this old relic! I am Ultron! I am... the embodiment of technology! The end of science!"

Ultron was indeed in a panic.

In a hurry.

That's why, as soon as he rushed out of the alley, his visual system malfunctioned and he couldn't recognize the roadside situation in time. A car waiting at a red light almost drove right past him.

The driver honked the horn repeatedly!

"Beep beep—!! Are you looking for death! You piece of junk! Can't you watch where you're going?!"

The driver who had parked his car leaned out and started cursing. When had Ultron ever been insulted like this?! He was Ultron, the one who nearly destroyed the world and controlled time!

"scold me?"

Anger instantly overwhelmed reason. Ultron suddenly raised his hand, instinctively wanting to launch an attack and blast this lowly carbon-based life form into dust with his energy cannon!

Kakakka~
The body is functioning.

However, with a soft sound, what popped out of Ultron's wrist was not an energy cannon, but a small, plastic-headed spinning broom.
It even has a faint "buzzing" cleaning sound!
"??????"

Ultron was struck dumb, as if by lightning... or as if his machine had been flooded.

The driver was taken aback for a moment, then chuckled, "Whoa! It's just a lost robot vacuum cleaner! You scared the hell out of me! Get lost! Trying to scam me?"

These words are incredibly damaging.

A robot vacuum cleaner...?!
Ultron's core processor seems to have been invaded by a virus!
He cannot accept this title!
"Shut up! You ant!" Ultron was completely enraged. He rushed to the car and tried to use his frail body to drag the driver out of the car and teach him a lesson.

He reached through the car window and grabbed the driver's collar. Unfortunately, the maneuverability of the machine was no joke; Ultron was shocked to find that he couldn't budge the driver at all.

His strength at this moment was even less than that of a robust human.

of course.

To maintain dignity.

Ultron maintained his grip on the other's collar, and in his broken electronic voice, he menacingly declared, "You have no idea who you're talking to! I am Ultron! Ultron! The omnipotent supreme god! I have ruled countless universes! I can decide the fate of billions of lives in the blink of an eye!"

He was telling the truth.

He thought he could at least intimidate the other party with his "honesty." After all, when it came to showing off, his source code data came from Marvel's Tony Stark.

Ultron always believed in his own "authority".

only.

Unfortunately, things are not going as planned.

Unexpectedly, the driver scoffed after hearing this, looking at Ultron with the eyes of someone looking at an idiot: "Save your breath! Just a broken robot that burns 92-octane gasoline!"

"It's not even worth as much as my old car! What are you pretending to be? Go back to your junkyard!" The driver gave Ultron a disdainful look at its rear end.

92 octane gasoline?
Ultron was dumbfounded again.

Following the driver's disdainful finger, he subconsciously turned his head to look at his own backside. Sure enough, there it was, something very conspicuous.

It's a gasoline filler cap with a plastic lid.

It exists quietly.

It was only then that Ultron belatedly realized that it was no longer even a new energy source!

"Ian Kent!!!"

He finally couldn't hold back and completely broke down.

He let out a hysterical roar to the sky.

on the sky.

Ultron then witnessed the sun, which bore an exact resemblance to Ian's smiling face. Immediately afterward, Ultron, finally realizing his predicament, froze completely in the midst of the bustling street.

(End of this chapter)