Shocking! The school heartthrob who was adopted by a wealthy family is actually a heiress!

Chapter 339 I have a disability, psychological one (new)

Shen Yanci raised an eyebrow, a smile appearing in his eyes: "Aren't we resting right now?"

Qin Zhao raised his eyes slightly, looking at him with his light-colored pupils.

After all, it had been a few days since we last saw each other, so it would be a lie to say I didn't want to hold hands or hug.

Shen Yanci's eyes darkened, his eyelids drooped slightly, his fingers twitched, and in the end he only gently poked her cheek.

It has a soft and bouncy texture.

Qin Zhao was taken aback.

The warmth of the fingertips lingered briefly before being withdrawn with restraint.

"You seem to have lost weight." Shen Yanci lowered his eyes, a slight smile playing on his lips. "Eat more later."
-
They went to a Korean restaurant, Omakase-style Korean food.

The environment is great, with a river view right next door. The signature dish is Korean beef.

The waiter's grilling technique was professional, and the grease sizzled on the hot plate.

After Qin Zhao ate a few slices of professionally grilled meat.

Shen Yanci took over and grilled two slices, then placed his own grilled slices onto her plate: "Try it."

Qin Zhao took a bite; the meat was tender and had a rich, charcoal aroma.

After watching her finish eating, Shen Yanci asked, "How was it? How does it taste different from the barbecue just now?"

Qin Zhao looked up at him: "What if I say this tastes better?"

Shen Yanci raised an eyebrow and said in a slightly raised tone, "They're all yours, not just someone to roast as many as they want to eat."

After he finished speaking, he planned to continue grilling.

Qin Zhao didn't really think the two tasted that different: "No need, you can eat with me."

She asked him to eat with her, but she didn't eat much.

Shen Yanci picked up a piece of grilled meat and looked at her: "Want another piece?"

Qin Zhao had initially given up on eating, but after hesitating for a moment, he ate it anyway.

It's just a piece of meat anyway.

Shen Yanci fed her three more pieces, but Qin Zhao stopped her in time, saying, "I'm full."

Shen Yanci lifted his eyelids: "Bring me another one, I'll bake it for you."

"..."

"I've already eaten a lot." Qin Zhao patted his stomach. "While we wait for the main course, you can rest for a while and eat."

From appetizers to main courses, everything was thinly sliced ​​and cooked, and all were placed in front of Qin Zhao first.

Half of the thick-cut Korean beef was cooked medium-rare and placed in front of Shen Yanci.

Shen Yanci probably doesn't actually like well-done steak that much.

Qin Zhao lowered his eyelashes.

Shen Yanci noticed her staring blankly at the Korean beef on her plate and asked, "Want a bite?"

Qin Zhao shook his head.

Shen Yanci didn't insist. The main course was served quickly: Korean beef bone marrow and black truffle rice.

The bluish-gray stone pot was served, and the steam, carrying the musky aroma of truffles, rose into the air.

After the waiter introduced the dishes, he gently tapped the roasted beef leg bone with a gilded hammer, causing the marrow to slowly flow in like lava, instantly coating the pearl rice with an amber sheen.

He poured in only one-third of the bone marrow the first time, swirling it around the rice, and introduced it as, "This is called 'Truffle First Snow,' where the rice grains are coated with the marrow without sticking to the center, making it a perfect match for our wasabi sprouts."

This dish is mixed in three times, resulting in four different ways to eat it.

Qin Zhao took a couple of bites; the flavor was fresh and rich, and paired with the pear shaved ice, it wasn't too cloying.

Qin Zhao ate two or three bites each time, and by the time he ate the third way, he was already full.

Shen Yanci gestured for the waiter to leave, his voice low and magnetic: "The crispness of the rice crust, the glutinousness of the rice grains, and the freshness of the Sichuan pepper powder blend together to create a rather unique taste."

He scooped up a small spoonful, his tone slightly coaxing: "Really not going to try a bite?"

Qin Zhao was originally a pretty face, and with Shen Yanci's suggestion, he thought it might be worth a try.

The flavor is indeed richer.

Shen Yanci chuckled softly: "Is it delicious?"

"good to eat."

Shen Yanci served her a small portion, two spoonfuls with the spoon that came with the rock pot.

Qin Zhao's eyelids twitched: "I'm already full."

From appetizers to main courses, she ate more than she would at home.

Shen Yanci scooped out half a spoonful with his silver dining spoon and brought it to her lips: "Half a spoonful."

Half a spoonful is still acceptable.

Qin Zhao ate it.

Shen Yanci used the same trick five or six times.

Qin Zhao kept his mouth shut: "I really don't want to eat anymore."

This time, Shen Yanci didn't press the matter. He asked, "Are you full?"

Qin Zhao hummed in agreement: "I'm very full."

She had already drunk half a bowl of soup.

The dessert was pomelo jelly, crystal clear, served in a bone china bowl.

But Qin Zhao had already eaten the shaved ice, so when it came up, Qin Zhao had lost interest and just watched Shen Yanci eat.

The next second, a cool, refreshing fragrance filled her nostrils—Shen Yanci brought a frozen pomelo to her lips.

Qin Zhao hesitated between eating and not eating, but finally chose to take the bite.

The cool, smooth texture melts on the tongue, slightly sour yet with a sweet aftertaste, refreshing and delightful. It pairs perfectly with the main course and staple food, effectively cutting through any greasiness.

She ate a smoothie, so she didn't need this to cut through the richness.

Shen Yanci tried to feed her again, but said, "No, I don't want any more."

Shen Yanci ate it himself, glanced at her, and said slowly, "Next time you want me to feed you, you can just say so."

"..."
-
After their meal, they took a walk along the river.

As night fell, the streetlights along the riverbank lit up one after another, casting tiny golden flakes onto the dark water.

Shen Yanci glanced at her sideways: "Want to hold hands?"

His voice was soft, but the last syllable was slightly strained.

This place is a quiet oasis amidst the hustle and bustle, with few people coming and going. Plus, it's Monday, so even a hundred meters away, people's figures are blurred into bullet holes like in a watercolor painting.

Perhaps she was too sensitive, but she seemed to detect a hint of unease in his words.

The damp air by the river moistened her eyes.

Qin Zhao raised her eyelashes, her eyes glistening with tiny tears, and smiled, "Why not?"

Shen Yanci's slightly tense shoulders and neck suddenly relaxed at these words, and he opened his palm towards Qin Zhao.

When Qin Zhao's hand landed in his palm, both of them paused for a moment, looked down at their intertwined hands, and then looked up at each other.

This was their first physical contact in several days.

Shen Yanci did not wrap his arms tightly or interlock his fingers as usual. Instead, he gently gathered his fingers around hers and took her hand in his.

There was no sense of aggression, only the soothing warmth of a comforting palm.

A breeze blew from the riverbank, and a strand of her hair brushed against his clothes.

They walked hand in hand along the river.

"The Mid-Autumn Festival is the day after tomorrow." Shen Yanci looked at the round moon in the sky. "The moon is so round today."

Qin Zhao looked up and saw the golden moon floating in the clouds.
-
"I don't want to hate the moon anymore."

She blinked, the mist in her eyes trying to be suppressed but then welling up again.

Her voice was so soft it seemed to dissipate in the wind: "The moon is really nice."

Shen Yanci looked down at her.

Qin Zhao's throat tightened a little, but she smiled and said, "Where I used to live, there weren't so many lights, and the streetlights were often broken. At night, the alley became extremely dark."

“I was young then, and I was very scared.”

She was afraid of being taken away, afraid that vicious dogs would rush out in the dark. She didn't know exactly what she was afraid of; she was just terrified.

But there are many people gathering to eat at night, and there is a lot of trash, so she has to go out to pick up the trash.

She wanted to go with her grandmother.

But Grandma could pick up all the recyclables herself, and if she followed along, it would actually slow her down.

So she had to go to the street next door by herself.

There is an alley between the two streets.

Actually, she wasn't far from her grandmother, but back then she always felt that the alley was very long and dark.

Every time I finished picking up the trash, I would run after my grandma as if someone was chasing me, leaving me breathless and exhausted.

Grandma saw this and scolded her, "Why are you running! There's no dog chasing you. You've ruined a perfectly good bag! You spendthrift!"

Compared to the brightly lit areas, there were far more dark alleys. Occasionally, a house would have a light on, but the light was pitifully dim, illuminating only a small area.

When they passed through the dark alley, she wanted her grandmother to hold her hand.

Grandma was holding the bundled cardboard boxes in one hand and carrying a sack in the other; she had no hand to hold hers.

When Jiang Ye was little, he always tried to get close to her, making it harder for her to walk. His grandmother was tired herself and, losing patience, would kick him, saying, "If you keep making me walk slower, I'll leave you here!"

After she said that, Xiao Jiangye dared not do it again. He could only drag the sack with one hand and secretly grab his grandmother's sack with the other.

Silently count to ten in your mind, then call out "Grandma!"

Grandma responded but didn't want to talk to her, and remained silent.

She tripped and fell forward, the bottle rolling all over the ground.

Grandma scolded, "You can't even walk properly!"

Jiang Ye's palms and knees were scraped, but he didn't dare to cry. He picked up the bottle in the dark and put it in a bag.

Perhaps it was because his grandmother's gaze was so intimidating, but Xiao Jiangye no longer felt afraid at that time.

Grandma: "What's the rush?" Jiang Ye, dragging the sack, didn't dare pull her anymore: "It's too dark, I'm scared."

"Afraid of ghosts? Afraid of ghosts if you haven't done anything wrong? There's still the moon in the sky, how can it be dark?"

Xiao Jiangye couldn't see her grandmother's expression; she only saw a dim, grayish-white moon in the dark sky.

She wondered if it was because she craved light too much as a child, or if the alley was just too deep. She always felt that the moonlight seemed to have no intention of reaching that place.

"With the moon here, what's there to be afraid of! It's still bright outside! Just follow the moon, and we'll be home in no time."

Jiang Ye's world has truly lost its light.

She only had one moon hanging in the sky, not very bright.

Gradually, she felt more at ease when she saw the moon, and seemed less afraid.

Qin Zhao blinked: "My grandma said there's a moon, so there's nothing to be afraid of."

She smiled, a hint of pride in her expression: "After that, I really wasn't afraid of the moon anymore."

Although the moon does not belong to her, she can see it and feel its light.

Even in a completely unfamiliar place, she was no longer afraid.

She formed a connection with this world, whether in darkness or light, through familiar objects.

She smiled, but Shen Yanci only saw her misty eyes, and his heart ached.

He reached out and ruffled her hair: "Zhao Zhao is amazing."

His palms were warm and dry, and Qin Zhao's eyes stung. He tilted his head back, and the tears seemed to recede into his throat.

She smiled, her lips trembling slightly as she spoke, before finally saying after a half-second: "Brother Yanci, the moon is lovely... and you are lovely too."

Shen Yanci's Adam's apple bobbed painfully, his voice low and magnetic: "Zhaozhao, I don't hate the moon anymore, I like the moon."

Qin Zhao paused for a moment, then smiled and said, "You also need to like yourself."

Shen Yanci felt a mix of emotions, and deliberately dragged out his words: "Of course I like myself, after all, it's because my girlfriend has certified me as good."

He looked at her and said, "My girlfriend is great too, I like her very much."

He didn't like her saying so much, like she was giving him a "friend zone" treatment.

Her hair was blowing in the wind, and her slender body seemed about to be blown away.

Shen Yanci unconsciously tightened his grip on her hand a little more.

Qin Zhao's eyes glistened with tears, making them appear even clearer.

She held his hand, feeling his warmth: "There's something I haven't told you yet."

The river surface turned black at night, shimmering with light.

Qin Zhao raised his eyes slightly and spoke slowly: "I don't dislike you, nor...do I deliberately treat you coldly."

She twitched her fingers, released his hand, and brushed away the dust that wasn't actually there on his shoulder.

Shen Yanci's hand suddenly felt empty. Looking at her wet eyelashes, he wanted to hold her hand again, but she subtly dodged him.

She put her fingers together, as if shooing away small insects.

Shen Yanci's eyes were dark: "I'm not afraid of being bitten."

Qin Zhao's fingers twitched slightly, but she didn't pull them back: "I haven't finished speaking yet."

She looked at Shen Yanci, the wind making her hair disheveled, and the growing waves on the river seemed to reflect in her eyes as well.

"I have a mental disability," Qin Zhao said with a smile, his tone relaxed.

"I used to pretend to be a boy, didn't I? Pretending for so long caused psychological problems. There are some things that normal girls take for granted, but I just can't do."

"I thought I was cured before I pursued you." She blinked, her eyes misting over, and pursed her lips slightly. "Actually, I wasn't. I still have a stress response."

"That time when we watched the movie, you kissed me, and I cried, didn't I?" Qin Zhao still had a nonchalant smile on his face. "It's not that I hate you, it's just that I couldn't control myself."

Her smile faltered, and her throat began to feel numb.

"And later, many times when you felt that I didn't like you, avoided you, or showed any resistance, it wasn't directed at you personally."

Shen Yanci knew that they needed to clear up all the grudges and face this problem.

But watching Qin Zhao expose her wounds to him, and seeing her lips trembling as she continued to speak to him, was a stark contrast to his own.

His heart felt like it was being tightened by a rope, a suffocating pain.

He didn't want to hear her continue to open up her wounds; he wanted to hug her.

His voice was hoarse: "I'm sorry, I was too stupid."

Qin Zhao did not accept his embrace. She looked at his hand in the air, then at his eyes: "Shen Yanci, let me finish."

“This stress response,” she paused, “will never get better.”

Her gaze met his reddened eyes, she lowered her eyelashes, and continued, "Even to reduce its responsiveness, it will take three years."

"I know it's a bit harsh to say that." Qin Zhao's eyes were glistening with tears, and the skin above her collarbone began to tighten. "I'm just not suited for dating."

She couldn't have the same sweet romance as other girls, and she would sometimes do things that spoil the fun.

"It's not your problem, it's mine."

She lowered her eyelashes.

"I think I've explained things clearly." Qin Zhao didn't look at him; she turned to glance at the seemingly endless river corridor. "When do you want to go home? Now, or after your walk?"

The wind howled across the river, creating waves that drowned out the sounds of heartbeats and breaths.

Qin Zhao looked up: "You can be by yourself for a while if you want. I know you can't bring yourself to curse, so I won't let you vent your anger on me."

Shen Yanci's eyes were sore from her trying to lighten the mood at this moment.

A dense, throbbing pain spread through my chest, making even breathing painful.

He looked at her, his reddened eyes brimming with tears. His voice was terribly hoarse: "Zhaozhao—"

Are we going to miss out on another three years?

His voice was soft and trembling.

But it was as if a single string easily tore through Qin Zhao's airtight defenses.

Her lips trembled slightly, and her eyes misted over.

"Shen Yanci, I may not have explained myself clearly just now." Her voice was slightly breathless.

“I have a problem with intimacy. My stress response is that when you kiss me, or even suddenly get close, I feel scared, want to hide, push you away, and I might even cry. Even if I like you, I will do this.”

"It might happen without warning, and my standards of acceptance might regress. Things that other couples can do, I can't do. And I might suddenly spoil the mood when you want to get close."

Her voice lowered: "Just like before."

Whether intentional or unintentional, there will be harm.

Shen Yanci looked at her and suddenly asked, "When you're scared, and I still have thoughts about you, does that make me a beast?"

Qin Zhao was taken aback.

"Zhaozhao, dating is a matter between the two of us. It's only when we're both happy that we're happy. Putting all the responsibility on you is unfair to you, and it's also my incompetence."

“If breaking up is a better option for you, then we—” he paused before saying with difficulty, “can break up first.”

"Because I haven't done a good job lately. I've been indulging in my own emotions and suspicions, being neither considerate nor rational, and escaping reality. I've made you, who were already scared and anxious, end up taking care of my feelings instead."

Shen Yanci's voice sounded like pus being squeezed from a festering wound, each syllable filled with pain, as he said, word by word, "I am truly utterly incompetent."

"You think it's perfectly reasonable for me not to be your boyfriend." His eyelashes fluttered. "But, if—"

"If you're only doing this out of kindness, I don't want to break up."

"I admit, I have desires for you. But it's definitely not limited to that." Shen Yanci looked at her with reddened eyes. "Do you know what I was thinking the year we broke up?"

His brows were furrowed with suppressed emotion, and his voice was hoarse: "If only I could see you just once."

A tear rolled down Qin Zhao's cheek.

"I had a terrible time during the two and a half years we were apart."

“I am very clear-headed, and I know what I am saying. I have reason and I do not live for desire.”

Shen Yanci raised his hand and gently brushed it away with his thumb: "For me, I gain more from being with you."

He looked at her with sorrow in his eyes: "If you still like me, and think that I might not be so hopeless, could you give me a chance? Let me be a good boyfriend."

A sob escaped Qin Zhao's throat.

Shen Yanci: "Let's face this together, okay?"

Qin Zhao nodded vigorously.

The moment she nodded, Shen Yanci breathed a sigh of relief, his eyes glistening with tears: "Hug me."

The familiar scent and sense of security enveloped him, and Qin Zhao finally hugged him and cried.

The wind was strong by the river, whipping the hems of their clothes and tangling them together.

Shen Yanci hugged her, burying his face in her shoulder, his warm liquid seeping into her coat: "I'm sorry."

He wanted to hold her tighter, but then he loosened his grip on her as if remembering something.

Qin Zhao sensed his change and the violent tremors in his chest—he was crying.

She twitched her fingers and hugged him tighter.

Shen Yanci trembled even more violently.

The neon lights reflected on the river surface, shattering into a galaxy of stars, swaying gently with the ripples.

When the two separated and saw each other's reddened eyes, they paused for a moment, then inexplicably laughed.

Qin Zhao looked up at him and asked, "Why are you crying?"

"My girlfriend almost dumped me, can't I cry?" Shen Yanci said, pretending to be fierce, but actually gently touched her forehead with his.

Qin Zhao touched his forehead, glanced at him, and said softly, "I don't want you."

Shen Yanci raised his eyes slightly: "I know."

“I know.” His voice trailed off almost completely.

He looked at her and said in a low voice, "My Zhaozhao is so brave, so I feel a little sorry for her."

Qin Zhao's eyelashes trembled slightly.

"Zhao Zhao, thank you."

Qin Zhao looked up, moonlight streaming into her clear pupils: "What are you thanking me for?"

Two updates tomorrow