Rebirth of Chinese Entertainment, the Diary of a 95 Flower

Zhao Lushi listened silently.

Her eyes welled up with tears, so she quickly lowered her head and rubbed them with the back of her hand, afraid that her father would hear her sniffling.

My father actually knew about Jiang Yang's affairs.

Zhao Lushi thought about it again and realized that it made sense; her father had many friends in the entertainment industry.

"What song is 'The Cloud That Blooms'?" Zhao Lushi asked.

"It's the one that's trending on social media. It's sung by Liu Haochun, and he's also an artist from Jiangyang Company. It was trending last night, didn't you see it?"

"Oh, I didn't see it. I thought Liu Haochun's trending topics were also related to the college entrance examination. I only saw Yang Chaoyue and Tian Xiwei's trending topics."

I'm really curious to see what's going on with Liu Haochun trending on social media yesterday.

But now, I want to talk to my dad more.

This was the first time he had gone against his father's decision, yet his father still supported him.

Dad continued, with a hint of guilt in his voice: "Didn't I tell you to go see Huang Lei before and ask him to give you some advice on signing with the company?"

"Yes, I went to Beiping back then."

"Huang Lei called me later, and I asked him about the guy you were talking to, the teacher. He treated me like a student and gave me a good scolding. It was really embarrassing. If I didn't know him, I would have really lost my temper back then."

What did Teacher Huang Lei say to you?

"You're scolding me for not teaching you well."

Upon hearing this, Zhao Lushi became somewhat angry.

I have a clear idea of ​​it.

It must have been during the press conference for the start of filming of "Fighter of the Destiny" when Huang Lei sat next to her and kept hearing her swear.

At the time, I couldn't stand Huang Lei's lecturing.

He gave Huang Lei a good scolding.

As a result, Huang Lei went to her father to complain.

"Is Huang Lei crazy? He even came to you to complain, what a load of rubbish..."

Zhao Lushi's temper flared up, and she was about to swear.

Suddenly, I heard my father chuckle twice on the phone.

Her tone softened: "He also said that I was very sorry to you."

"what?"

Zhao Lushi was taken aback.

The words he was about to say stopped.

“You grew up with your grandparents when you were little. I was thinking of bringing you to live with us when you started elementary school, but I couldn’t manage it. I was thinking of waiting until junior high, but you were still on your own in high school. Your mother and I have been doing more and more business and socializing more and more... I really don’t deserve to be a father.”

Zhao Lushi felt as if something had pierced her heart.

The cuffs of my trousers had gotten wet in the bathroom, and the cool breeze couldn't mask the aching, fluctuating sensation in my chest.

When she first heard her father say that Huang Lei had scolded him, her first reaction was to get angry.

Why should Huang Lei meddle in other people's business?
That's her family matter.

Why should she complain to her father?

Those swear words were her protective shield, a way for her to breathe out in front of her empty home and her parents who were always away on business trips. What did Huang Lei have to do with it?

But the words were cut off by his father's words that he was unworthy of being a father.

Zhao Lushi pursed her lips.

no respond.

Because that's been true all these years. In first grade, while other children were picked up by their parents after school, she carried a schoolbag heavier than herself and slowly walked home with her grandparents.

When I got my first period in junior high school, I thought I had a terminal illness and didn't dare to call my mother. It was my female classmate who gave me a sanitary napkin and taught me how to use it.

She recalled how, after evening self-study in high school, she would clutch her phone, waiting for her parents' call, only to receive a money transfer notification and the words, "Remember to eat well."

She has never said anything about it over the years.

I always say the same few things to my parents.

"I'm fine."

"I have enough money."

"Don't worry, I didn't fight."

I know my parents have a lot of worries about their careers.

What does her little grievance matter? She should consider the bigger picture.

I thought I was used to it.

I'm used to handling everything on my own, and I'm used to using a carefree attitude and a foul mouth to hide the heart that wasn't really loved by my parents.

But at this moment, Dad's voice, filled with guilt, was like a fine needle, gently picking out all the grievances, resentments, and desires that he himself was unwilling to admit had been hidden for more than ten years.

"Huang Lei is out of his mind, saying these things to my dad..." Zhao Lushi cursed inwardly.

It was just a casual remark I made at Huang Lei's house last time.

Huang Lei promised not to tell her father.

He then turned around and betrayed her.

Damn it!
I don't know why, but hearing my dad say these things to her now makes me feel really bad. Maybe it's because she's too sentimental.

I feel sorry for myself.

I feel sorry for those moments when no one is there to support you, and I feel sorry for myself when I desperately want a hug but can only force myself to say I don't need one.

But now I feel even more sorry for my dad on the other end of the phone.

The man who was called General Manager Zhao at the company and whose word was law was now speaking to her in an almost clumsy tone, recounting his shortcomings and even frankly admitting that he was unworthy of being a father.

Zhao Lushi could imagine her father sitting behind his large desk, frowning as he looked at his phone.

He might even raise his hand to rub his temples, just like he does every time he apologizes to her, with a hint of helplessness and panic.

So Dad knew all along.

I know she wasn't born with a penchant for swearing, I know how much she suffered alone, and I know that money can't fill the void of companionship.

I feel mostly understanding towards my parents, but there's also a sense of resentment.

There was understanding, but also resentment.

But just as her father was saying these things to her, he suddenly felt a pang of heartache.

I feel sorry for her.

I also feel sorry for my father, that he actually reflected on his actions and humbled himself before her.

Dad paused for a moment: "Huang Lei said something that is indeed true. As a teacher, he is very eloquent. He said that he thought giving you money would make up for the debt he owed you. He said that you have suffered a lot while studying alone, which is something that you can't tell us adults. You can tell from the foul language you use."

"I knew it, Huang Lei complained to you!" Zhao Lushi laughed.

He said you are a very kind and sensible girl, but I am an incompetent father. I only gave you money, not love.

The father on the other end of the phone was in an office so quiet you could hear the air conditioner humming, but his mind was filled with Huang Lei's words on the phone.

"Old Zhao, not to criticize you, but I'm good at judging people. Ruth seems carefree, but she's actually quite inexperienced. She dares to be so aggressive towards me because I think no one has taught her how to soften up or express herself properly. She's always been alone, and if she doesn't learn these skills, she'll easily be bullied. You really need to reflect on this. Don't sign her with Galaxy Cool Entertainment. I recommend she sign with one of my students' companies, Jiang Yang. He's a very talented guy, and he gets along well with Ruth. Most importantly, his company has a great atmosphere. If Ruth stays there long enough, I'll have Jiang Yang keep an eye on her, and maybe he can correct her habit of always swearing..."

I always thought that providing my daughter with the best material life and ensuring she never had to worry about money was the best thing I could do for her. (End of Chapter)