Rebirth of Chinese Entertainment, the Diary of a 95 Flower

Bai Lu entered the room.

With a bang, the door slammed shut.

Locked.

Bai Lu stopped struggling and looked into the room.

Jiang Yang sat at his desk, holding a pen, writing something.

Get your phone back.

I discovered that the audio I had secretly recorded had indeed been deleted.

Jiang Yang discovered that she had been secretly recording the conversation.

This is the first time I've been caught red-handed.

It wasn't explicitly stated.

Bai Lu felt even more uneasy.

I sat quietly at the coffee table, watching Go Fighting! with Zhang Ruonan.

In the past, watching Go Fighting! always made me laugh out loud.

This time, however, I couldn't concentrate on the content at all, not even on Zhang Ruonan's scenes.

When she came to her senses, Zhang Ruonan had already left.

Only she and Jiang Yang remained in the room.

Looking to the side, Jiang Yang was still sitting at his desk, a sheet of art paper spread out on it, and he was writing something.

I sometimes pick up a pen.

It pauses occasionally.

He trembled a few times with his pen, then looked up at Bai Lu and asked, "Finished reading?"

"I've finished reading, but I can still keep reading." Bai Lu smiled awkwardly, avoiding Jiang Yang's gaze.

She continued to stare at her tablet.

Repeatedly playing the latest episode of Go Fighting!

This time, she got her tablet and phone back, but left herself in Jiang Yang's room.

Bai Lu's fingertips traced the edge of the phone case back and forth, her knuckles turning white from the force, before she abruptly released her grip when she realized she was being too tense.

She didn't want Jiang Yang to notice her panic.

His back was straight and his knees were together.

Toes slightly turned inward.

Like a primary school student being called on by the teacher in class.

There was a tense feeling of waiting for judgment.

"I heard from Ruonan that you were once an auditionee for SM Entertainment in South Korea?" Jiang Yang suddenly asked.

Hear the words.

Bai Lu tapped the screen with her finger.

Press the pause button.

The room fell silent, and Bai Lu nodded: "Yes."

"Can you read musical notes and sheet music?"

“I can understand it. I’ve been taught these things before. I also know how to dance, but I haven’t danced in a long time, so I might be a bit rusty.”

Bai Lu replied, not knowing why Jiang Yang would ask these questions.

Her eyelashes blinked rapidly, and her gaze would occasionally steal a glance in Jiang Yang's direction before immediately looking away.

Chatted for a few words.

Jiang Yang suddenly asked, "I heard Ruonan say that you used to dream of becoming an idol."

"In the past, that was in the past."

Bai Lu smiled.

"And now?" Jiang Yang put down his pen and looked up at Bai Lu.

"Right now, all I want to do is save more money."

Bai Lu paused for a few seconds, then continued, "I still have the dream of becoming an idol, but I've only just realized that dreams don't expire, but they can change."

Images flashed through my mind.

A few years ago, when I went to South Korea, I trained late into the night in SM Entertainment's practice room, wearing sweat-soaked practice clothes.

Pain-relieving plaster was applied to my knee, and my ankle was swollen like a steamed bun.

I remember back then, there was a motivational quote about Kobe that was popular online.

It is said that those who work hard can see the sun at four in the morning.

Back then, I often trained until 4 a.m., and I can confidently say that you can't see the sun at 4 a.m.

I saw footage from the SM audition back then.

Under the cold white lights of the judges' panel, she looked up, panting, after finishing her self-choreographed dance. The judges, expressionless, drew crosses on the paper, the sound of the pen tip cutting through the paper like a blade scraping against her eardrum.

She became a model after returning to China.

That idol dream, which they thought would never be extinguished, eventually vanished completely after a few years.

I once put in the utmost effort for my dream.

I've been afraid of failure.

Finally, I realized how reality crushes dreams.

What truly made her give up wasn't that she didn't want to be an idol anymore, but that she was too afraid to.

Each image is like a yellowed diary, with each page bearing the inscription, "I once lived so vividly."

Bai Lu softened her voice: "It's like milk in the supermarket. You know you should throw it away, but some people can't bear to part with it. As you grow up, you'll understand that some things you can't have just because you want them."

Jiang Yang stood up and came over: "If there were a stage now where you could legitimately realize your dream from back then, would you want to go?"

Hear the words.

Bai Lu's calves tensed slightly, and she shook her head: "I've strained my ligaments before, and now I can't even do the splits."

Jiang Yang interrupted her: "I'm asking if you want to, not if you can."

"I……"

Bai Lu's eyes flickered, and she turned her face away: "If there really is such an opportunity, let Ruo Nan have it. She needs it more than I do."

"how about you?"

"I'm fine this way."

Bai Lu continued, "I used to be in the spotlight, but I'm no longer in the light. I've gotten used to it."

They want to give up now.

They just want to coast along and wait to die.

There is no end if it doesn't begin.

You'll never fail if you don't try.

Bai Lu smiled and said, "I recently saw a quote online that I really liked: 'Effort doesn't guarantee success, but not trying definitely makes life easy.' Right now, I just want to be an easy person..."

That’s what I said.

She realized that the topic she was discussing with Jiang Yang seemed to have gone astray.

When she first entered the room, she was worried that Jiang Yang would get angry and yell at her.

Because the audio on her phone was deleted, it was obvious that Jiang Yang knew what she had been doing outside.

Logically speaking, shouldn't Jiang Yang be talking to her about terminating the contract?

Or you could give her a good scolding.

How did the conversation begin? It started with her ridiculously naive dream from back then.

Even if the contract isn't terminated, shouldn't we take this opportunity to fine her, deduct her wages, and make her do more work?

That's how it is in South Korea. Jiang Yang really doesn't know how to be a boss.

Jiang Yang stepped over and placed the finished artwork on the coffee table: "Using Ruonan as an excuse, you're actually just scared, aren't you?"

"I……"

Bai Lu opened her mouth, but said nothing.

Jiang Yang laughed and said, "Since we've signed you, you can just coast along in my company. The company won't skimp on your salary. If you want to give the opportunity to Ruonan, that's your choice. Your future path is entirely up to you."

Bai Lu looked down.

On the artwork paper Jiang Yang placed in front of her was a song he had just written.

It has staff notation, chord markings, sheet music, and musical notes.

They even wrote out the key change in the chorus.

The lyrics are written with a calligraphic style.

You can hum it at a glance.

Suddenly, I realized something: this was a song that Jiang Yang had just written on the spot?

I had heard Ruonan say before that Jiang Yang was very creative, and now I can truly feel it for myself.

Holding up the artwork, Bai Lu glanced at the lyrics and paused slightly.

—They said they would tame every monster with light.

They say they'll stitch up your wounds, because nobody loves a clown.

Why is loneliness not something to be proud of? It is only human imperfection that is worthy of praise.

—Who says someone covered in mud isn't a hero?

Read all the lyrics.

My gaze lingered on the title, landing on those three words:
The Lone Warrior.

"Jiang Yang, I..."

Looking up, I realized that Jiang Yang was already gone.

Where have you been?
They must have gone to record a song.

She's going to Hengdian tomorrow. She's all alone in the room now.

Did Jiang Yang really pursue the matter of her secretly filming?

Bai Lu continued to stare at the lyrics.

"The Lone Warrior," ha, how did Jiang Yang come up with such an ironic song title?

As Bai Lu's fingertips brushed against those sharp words, her heart gradually calmed down.

Mask, filth, clown, gap, despair... each word is like a thorn, precisely piercing her old, scabbed wounds.

Like a knife, it dissected her carefully crafted numbness.

They say that curing your madness is like wiping away dirt.

Bai Lu smiled slightly, "Where is my arrogance? I've been worn down by the judges at SM and by reality long ago."

She recalled her days in the practice room in South Korea.

Seoul at four in the morning was as cold as an icebox. She danced in front of the mirror over and over again until her ankles swelled up and she couldn't fit into her dance shoes anymore.

I remember when I returned to China and worked as a model, I was scolded by photographers for having a stiff expression.

The client complained that it wasn't high-end enough.

She recalled countless nights she spent huddled in her rented room, watching the glamorous stages of idol performances, silently locking her past dreams away in the deepest drawer, and telling herself:
"Stop dreaming, Bailu, you don't deserve it."

They say you have to climb the steps, but the price is bowing your head.

"Didn't I already bow my head a long time ago? But why do I still... still feel this way when I see these words now?"

The shame of being eliminated from SM Entertainment.

Those cold stares I received when I was a model.

Those moments when reality forces us to accept our fate.

They are no longer wounds, but have grown into my bones and blood, becoming a part of me.

I thought I had long been accustomed to darkness, to mediocrity, and to being a "sensible" adult.

But why does my heart still tremble with pain when I look at these lyrics?

The phone vibrates.

I received a message from Jiang Yang: "Have you finished watching this song?"
Bai Lu edited the text: [“Finished reading, boss.”]
Jiang Yang sent a message: ["Will you sing, or will Ruonan sing?"]
Ruonan...

Bai Lu was stunned for a moment.

Ruonan is like a mirror, reflecting the part of herself that she dares not look at directly.

I received another message from Jiang Yang: ["You're desperately trying to push Ruonan onto the stage, but you're actually trying to save your past self, right?"]
White Dew makes my heart beat faster.

The dim light in his eyes slowly rekindled.

I've long understood why I'm so fixated on Ruonan's growth.

The light in Ruonan's eyes, Ruonan's clumsy efforts, Ruonan's stubbornness in not talking back when scolded—all of these are the memories of her past self who hadn't been defeated by reality.

just now.

I want to be myself again, the person I was back then.

Bai Lu typed with trembling hands, trying several times, but she typed Jiang Yang as Jiang Yang, Jiang Yang, Jiang Yang.

Finally, press the voice send button to send a voice message.

The voice is very soft.

Like a knife, it cleaved through the illusion of self-deception I've maintained all these years.

Zhang Ruonan's room.

Jiang Yang sat down at the coffee table, with another sheet of lyrics spread out in front of him.

It was accidentally left with Zhang Ruonan earlier.

I only wrote a few scattered lines of lyrics back then, but I've added them all now.

I was originally going to record a song, but Bai Lu interrupted my progress. I felt frustrated because I couldn't finish what I hadn't done before.

Moreover.

It was quite a feat to finally teach Ruonan.

"Jiang Yang, is Bai Lu willing to sing the song you wrote?"

Zhang Ruonan changed into a light red sheer nightgown and sat down: "She speaks Korean and can dance. As long as you give her a chance, she can definitely help you make a lot of money."

When Jiang Yang put his arm around her waist, Zhang Ruonan's body trembled involuntarily.

She used to go to Jiang Yang's room.

This was the first time she had taken the initiative to call Jiang Yang to her room.

They knew perfectly well what was going to happen.

She rested her cheek on Jiang Yang's shoulder.

Jiang Yang's phone, which was on the coffee table, lit up, revealing a message from Bai Lu.

It's a voice message.

Upon opening the app, I heard Bai Lu's trembling voice: "Jiang Yang, I want to sing this song."
Zhang Ruonan smiled.

I heard a snapping sound.

The metal buttons on the murder suit behind him were undone.

I don't know what song Jiang Yang wrote for Bai Lu, but every song Jiang Yang writes, whether it's the melody or the lyrics, is of very high quality.

Bailu was already knowledgeable about music.

Right now, she must still be in Jiang Yang's room.

Earlier, in Jiang Yang's room, she discovered that Bai Lu was secretly taking pictures outside. So she stayed in the room and pleaded with Jiang Yang on Bai Lu's behalf.

Don't blame White Dew.

Bai Lu has mentioned this bad habit of hers many times in private, but she can't get rid of it.

Most importantly, Bai Lu has a persistent pursuit of this industry. As long as Bai Lu is given a little hope, the dream in her heart can definitely grow as before.

So they discussed having Jiang Yang write a song for Bai Lu.

This was both an opportunity for Bai Lu and a way to keep Bai Lu in Jiang Yang's room for the time being.

Don't disturb her and Jiang Yang's good time anymore.

“Jiang Yang, I know Bai Lu. Can I reply to her?” Zhang Ruonan asked softly.

She met Jiang Yang's gaze.

Zhang Ruonan went to greet her.

Her lips seemed to hold a fire, burning so intensely that their breaths mingled, and they couldn't tell whose heartbeat was deafening.

A dozen seconds later, the two separated.

Jiang Yang handed his phone, with its screen still lit up, to Zhang Ruonan.

He looked down at Zhang Ruonan in his arms.

The murder clothes were pulled out from the collar and thrown next to the sofa.

The lines of Ruo Nan's mouth in his arms were as smooth as those of a classical sculpture. The neckline of her pajamas was slightly open, revealing a soft shadow that rose and fell gently with her breath.

Her skin glowed with a honey-like sheen in the warm room light.

The curve below the collarbone is like a hill caressed by a spring breeze, delicate and full.

Zhang Ruonan took Jiang Yang's phone, typed a message, and sent it to Bai Lu: ["Can't Ruonan sing this song?"]
I waited for a good ten seconds.

Bai Lu replied: "[I want to sing this song myself.]"
Zhang Ruonan responded with an OK gesture.

Suddenly, she felt Jiang Yang's lips pressed against the side of her neck.

My breath was burning hot, like a branding mark.

Zhang Ruo gasped for breath.

She understood how she felt when she planted a strawberry for Jiang Yang, because Jiang Yang planted a strawberry for her in return.

Zhang Ruonan tilted her head back, a soft hum escaping her throat. One hand gripped the sofa cushion tightly, while the other held Jiang Yang's phone. She received Bai Lu's reply: ["Jiang Yang, aren't you angry with me? You clearly noticed me secretly filming you and Ruonan. I'm sorry."]
Zhang Ruonan edited the text: [“When I reply with an OK gesture, it's not because I agree, but because I want to flick you on the forehead.”]
"Sorry, sorry, I heard some strange noises, and my hands just couldn't help but want to secretly record them."
Zhang Ruonan hurriedly edited the text.

Before Jiang Yang saw Bai Lu's message, she forgave Bai Lu on Jiang Yang's behalf: ["This is a one-time exception."]
At the same time, she felt Jiang Yang's palm cover her chest, casually feeling her rapid heartbeat through the thin veil, his fingertips lightly tracing the hollow below her collarbone.

Bai Lu replied: [“Jiang Yang, Ruo Nan told me you are very talented, and I can feel it. I will definitely practice this song diligently.”]
Then came another message: ["But if Ruonan wants to sing, I can sing this song for her. Without Ruonan, you probably wouldn't even know me, and I wouldn't be able to sign with your company."]
The light in the room dimmed.

Zhang Ruonan's breathing became erratic.

Her collar slipped slightly, revealing a section of snow-white skin that gleamed like pearls in the dim light.

She edited the text and sent it to Bailu.

She couldn't say these words to Bai Lu herself.

But given Jiang Yang's status, it might be just right.

I can sense that Bailu has been listless these past two years. I really want to see how spirited she was a few years ago:
"Bai Lu, this song is yours."
"Ruonan has her own path to walk, and you have yours."
"She doesn't need you to yield, nor do you need to sacrifice for her. You are not each other's shadows, but lights shining side by side."
[“You said, ‘If it weren’t for Ruonan, I wouldn’t have signed you?’”]
"You're wrong. I signed you not because of Ruonan, but because of your burning desire to become an idol, and the stubbornness you showed even after being eliminated by SM."
"These are the reasons I signed you."
Using Jiang Yang's phone, she sent messages one by one.

At first, Zhang Ruonan could see that the chat box with Bai Lu showed a prompt at the top that the other party was typing.

After sending a few messages.

The other party's typing prompt has stopped.

Can feel it.

Bai Lu was reading the message she sent very carefully.

Using Jiang Yang's account, she wanted to say something to Bai Lu.

Jiang Yang glanced at the message Zhang Ruonan sent to Bai Lu, but didn't disturb her.

This is a matter between the two sisters, Ruonan and Bailu, and he can't be bothered to interfere.

Ruonan's waistline curves into a smooth arc, like a meticulously polished piece of porcelain, firm yet supple.

Jiang Yang slid his fingers over her waist, his fingertips sinking into the soft hollow.
-
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Yang Chaoyue: "Thanks to the potato chips for feeding me an Oscar statuette... I always secretly bury my regrets in the success of others." (End of this chapter)