Rebirth of Chinese Entertainment, the Diary of a 95 Flower

No matter how much money I give my parents, they always have dissatisfied expressions on their faces.

Zhang Ruonan's eyelashes trembled.

She bought a house for her younger brother who hasn't even grown up yet, and paid off her parents' business debts. But she's still a student, she's a human being, and she needs to be cared for too.

When exactly did my parents' love for me become a series of transactions?

It became a wound in my heart that could never heal.

Zhang Ruonan's gaze was fixed on the chat window with Jiang Yang, on the message Jiang Yang had sent her: ["Ruonan, the people on your Weibo who are criticizing you aren't doing so because you don't deserve to be loved, but because they're afraid you'll live a more exciting life than they do."]
A faint smile appeared on Zhang Ruonan's lips.

This is what it feels like to be loved.

For several nights after I changed my name, I could only manage to fall asleep by looking at these encouraging messages.

You don't have to be at home to feel loved.

I used to think that love meant desperately proving myself worthy, giving all my money to my family, and always being obedient and sensible, until I met Jiang Yang.

You don't need to be perfect to be cherished.

Sometimes I wonder where I would be now if I hadn't met Jiang Yang.

He might still be scolded by his parents for being useless, and he might forever remain a "young man," forever feeling that living is just paying off a debt.

"And your company's boss, the contract he signed with you was a 30/70 split. He clearly didn't contribute anything, so why should he get 30%..."

My mother had just finished speaking.

Suddenly, there was a loud crash.

The table was overturned, the bowls and chopsticks were smashed, and porridge spilled all over the floor. Suddenly, all was quiet.

I've wanted to smash this twisted home of mine for a long time, and today I finally mustered up the courage to flip the table.

I spent eighteen years living up to their expectations; now I will live the rest of my life to become my own answer.

The mother snapped out of her daze, her voice shrill and choked with tears as she pointed at the mess on the floor: "Zhang Ruonan! Are you crazy? We raised you all these years, and this is how you repay us? Smashing tables and bowls! Don't you have any manners at all? You think you can act like a tyrant at home just because you've made a little money? You've really changed."

Zhang Ruonan remained unmoved.

I've heard similar words many times at home since I was a child, but this time, it was especially jarring.

Maybe Mom is right.

I've really changed; I'm not the same as before.

This was followed by the father's angry roar.

He stood up abruptly, his face ashen.
"This is outrageous! You've never dared to talk back to us since you were little, and now you're turning on us like this? Who taught you that? Was it your scoundrel boss?!"

Zhang Ruonan saw her father grab a teacup from the table and smash it against the wall, shards of porcelain flying everywhere: "I paid for your education, so you could come back and cause trouble? What has the entertainment industry done to you? You're a disgrace!"

Seeing that Zhang Ruonan remained silent, her father's voice became even more furious:
"Fine, you want to change your name? You want to get out? Get out! Get out of here and let's see what you can do!"

Zhang Ruonan saw her father, pointed to the door, and shouted, enunciating each word clearly:

"If you dare to leave today, your life or death will have nothing to do with us. No matter how much money you make, don't even think about setting foot in this house again!"

Zhang Ruonan remained silent.

I went back to my room to pack my luggage.

Actually, there wasn't much to pack, because when I got back last night, I just opened my suitcase and took out some essentials.

Suddenly, I noticed a piece of artwork in my suitcase.

It was the piece of paper where Jiang Yang had written the lyrics earlier; he had accidentally stuffed it inside his luggage while packing.

Below is a line of small print: A song written for Ruonan.

Zhang Ruonan was slightly stunned, then suddenly understood something.

My gaze moved upwards and I saw the lyrics above.

The lyrics are incomplete, only a few lines.

[They confine me, holding up a plaque that begs me to bow down into the dust.]
[It binds my soul, its rules and regulations forcing me to endure and swallow them]
[Laugh at my future, I can't even leave my house]
[If I must not fight, then I will accept it and live out my life docilely.]
Zhang Ruonan stared at the four lines of lyrics, stunned for a long time.

The lyrics, just four lines long, perfectly capture my life when I was still a young man.

"It turns out that Jiang Yang had seen through my life long ago."

The angry shouts from her parents outside continued. Zhang Ruonan locked the door from the inside, held the lyrics sheet, and looked at it carefully again and again, muttering to herself: "Holding up the plaque, they tell me to humble myself to the dust; every rule, they tell me to endure and swallow."

Every time I earned money, my mother always told me not to spend it recklessly, but to send it home and save it for my younger brother to buy a house in the future.

"Laugh at my future, I can't even step out of my house."

I called my parents to share the good news that I would be playing a role in "Fighter of the Destiny".

Dad said, "Who would want to act if they were a decent girl?"

And the last sentence, "Live your life docilely," is what my mother often said.

Find a man from your hometown, have a son. If it's a boy, your life will be complete. Listen to your mother; that's how you'll find happiness.

Zhang Ruonan folded the lyric sheet into a small square, tucked it into her shirt pocket, and placed it against the spot where her heartbeat was.

That night, she told Jiang Yang about her past experiences, afraid that he would get annoyed listening to her.

But I didn't expect it.

Jiang Yang wrote it all down.

It turns out that Jiang Yang understood all my feelings.

She even wrote a song for herself.

Jiang Yang composed "Starry Sea" for Liu Haochun, and Liu Haochun is the protagonist of the music video.

I wrote "Calorie" for Yang Chaoyue to sing, and now "Calorie" has topped the new song charts on major music platforms, and its ranking is still rising.

Chao Yue's Weibo followers have also exceeded 100,000.

Will Jiang Yang let me sing this song he wrote for me? Will I be in the music video?

This thought suddenly popped into my head.

smiled.

Get rid of that idea.

Zhang Ruonan gently pressed her hand on the lyric paper on her chest, her fingertips able to feel the texture of the paper and her own accelerating heartbeat.

I used to think that being sensible meant swallowing your grievances.

I only realized now that someone remembers every tear I swallowed.

This is even more precious than getting a role or being able to sing a hit song.

She gazed at the rising sun outside the window and murmured in a voice only she could hear, "Jiang Yang, do you know what you wrote about my life before?"

Jiang Yang understood all the pain that he thought he could never express.

Her parents' scolding continued, but she could no longer hear it.

Zhang Ruonan simply patted the lyric sheet on her chest: "In Jiang Yang's eyes, I am also someone who deserves to be written into a song."

Take out your phone.

In Jiangyang's QQ space message board, edit the text and send it:
"Jiang Yang, I will keep moving forward, carrying the light you gave me, until I reach a place where those who cursed me can no longer reach me. When I stand tall enough, I will tell everyone that it was Jiang Yang who taught Zhang Ruonan what love is."
After leaving home, Zhang Ruonan went to the registration authority, wrote a name change application, obtained the certificate issued by the village committee, and submitted it.

After that, it's just a matter of going through the procedures and waiting for the right time.

It takes about a month to complete the notarization process. After the approval is granted, you can go to the household registration department to print the new household registration book and apply for a new ID card.

When she arrived in Hangzhou, she stayed overnight at Bailu's place.

The next day, she took Bailu with her to the airport to wait for Jiangyang.

Upon hearing the announcement "Arrival in Beiping," Zhang Ruonan grabbed Bai Lu's wrist: "Bai Lu, he's arrived! This is his flight, from Beiping!"
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PS:

Bai Lu: "Thank you for the little chicken leg that Night Rain Listening to the Cold Wind fed me... Those years without applause are just fate preparing for an even grander applause for you."

Thanks to the person who said "Everyone has a name they want" for casting their 4 monthly votes.

Thank you to the user "I Love Cola with Ice" for casting 3 monthly votes.

Li Bai knelt in gratitude.

Please vote with your monthly tickets! (End of this chapter)