Rebirth of Chinese Entertainment, the Diary of a 95 Flower

Gulnazar's throat bobbed.

Suddenly, I remembered that I used to be just as innocent and kind.

In high school, I used my allowance to buy dried fish every day to feed the lame orange cat at the back gate of the school.

Even when scratched, it would laugh and say, "It's just scared."

He once spent half an hour helping a lost elderly woman find the bus stop, and even secretly slipped twenty yuan into her pocket.

Now, I instinctively back away when I see a passerby approaching.

The first time I received "You're so beautiful" on Weibo, I would reply earnestly, "You're a fairy too!"

Now I know that if I click on the other person's homepage, it might be full of paid trolls insulting her.

Before her debut, she wrote notes and drew smiley faces for every fan who came to pick her up at the airport.

Until someone auctioned off the letter to a sasaeng fan.

I once dared to go out without makeup and with a face full of acne to buy milk tea.

I get so anxious about not having a mask and sunglasses that I get stomach aches.

In the past, I would share the naan bread made by my family with all my classmates. Now, even when I post pictures of food from my hometown, people criticize me for trying to create a persona of being from Xinjiang.

I remember the first time I saw "Gulnazar get out of the entertainment industry", I called my mother in the middle of the night crying and asked, "Why do they hate me? I don't know them at all".

After her debut, she was gradually overwhelmed by negative comments.

When you gaze into the abyss, the abyss also gazes into you.

I don't know when it happened, but my thinking was affected by negative comments.

She believes that love will inevitably end in sadness, that those who help her are only after her own interests, and that everyone who gets close to her is plotting against her.

I don't think anyone would like me for no reason.

But there will always be people who dislike you for no reason.

Feel the malice of the world at all times.

I'm becoming less and less likely to smile.

I no longer believe that hard work will pay off.

I no longer believe that goodwill will be reciprocated.

Having learned hypocrisy and wariness, I've lost my original self.

Suddenly, I remembered that the lame orange cat at the back gate of my high school might still be waiting for me, but I no longer dared to stop for anyone.

I don't know when I lost that pure kindness and innocence from my student days.

I was suddenly awakened.

When I came to my senses, I realized that my eyes, which were hidden behind my sunglasses, were already glistening with tears.

After entering society, tears flow backward, surging from the heart to a place where no one can see them.

Watching Zhou Ye squat down to pet the guide dog.

The tears Gulnazar shed behind her sunglasses were for her eighteen-year-old self, feeding cats.

She calmed her breathing, maintained the posture of a blind person, looked straight ahead, and tilted her head towards Zhou Ye when he spoke.

The eyes behind the sunglasses glanced at Zhou Ye.

She noticed that Zhou Ye wasn't looking at her; he was still squatting down, petting the guide dog's head and playing with its ears.

She then turned her head to look at Zhou Ye, a smile appearing on her lips, and said in a whisper that only she could hear, "I have already seen this beautiful world."

Chatted for a few words.

It was discovered that Gulnazar was going to Ciyun Temple to pray for blessings, which was not far from here, so Zhou Ye went with her.

As they crossed the traffic lights, Zhou Ye still held Gulinazha's hand, saying, "Sister, I am your human guide dog."

"What's your name?" Gulnazar kept her head tilted slightly upwards at the same angle as the blind person.

"My name is Zhou Ye, and what's yours, sister?"

“My name is Baihetiyar,” Nazha said, referring to her surname.

"Bye...bye..." Zhou Ye bowed a few times, but couldn't say the name Nazha had said. He remembered the last two words: "Sister Ya'er".

She asked, "Are you from a minority group?"

"I am from Xingjiang."

"The grapes in Xingjiang are delicious, and so are the lamb skewers."

Gulnazar grinned and said, "Yes, yes."

After a short while, the conversation turned to Zhou Ye's studies: "What major do you want to study in college?"

"Actually, according to my parents' plan, I was going to study abroad and attend an IELTS class. But when I was in my senior year of high school, I suddenly had a brain fart and wanted to study acting and apply to the Beijing Film Academy, so I went to study in an arts class."

"Transferring to an arts class at the last minute during your senior year of high school?"

This is ridiculous!

I am also a graduate of Beijing Film Academy. I attended Xingjiang Art Academy Affiliated High School and received training in this field from a young age, which enabled me to pass the art exam and get into Beijing Film Academy.

Gulnazar instinctively wanted to turn her head to look at Zhou Ye, but she restrained herself in time.

She continued walking in the posture of a blind person, led by Zhou Ye and the guide dog: "Are your parents usually so focused on breathing that they forget to call you?"

"My parents don't quite understand, but they are very supportive of me."

After Zhou Ye finished telling Gu Lina about how his parents supported his absurd ideas, the two were almost at Ciyun Temple.

Gulnazar listened silently.

I understand why Zhou Ye is so innocent and kind.

Because they were born into a loving family, just like me.

I both hope Zhou Ye passes his art exam smoothly so he won't be so worried and can be happier. At the same time, I also hope he fails the exam so he won't end up on the same path as me.

My heart has long been filled with malice.

I couldn't bear to see Zhou Ye end up like me.

Look up.

Several clumps of wild chrysanthemums sprouted from the cracks in the bluestone steps of Ciyun Temple, and the ash from the incense burner was piled up an inch thick, falling down in a rustling sound when the wind blew.

We arrived at the Yuantong Hall.

There are monks dressed in gray robes at the entrance who are responsible for receiving tourists.

There are lay Buddhists on duty inside who are responsible for maintaining order.

A monk was sitting at a wooden table by the door, interpreting fortune sticks.

In the center is a golden statue of Guanyin Bodhisattva.

The Bodhisattva raises his hand, maintaining the gesture of fearlessness.

Tourists continued to light incense and kneel in prayer to Guanyin Bodhisattva.

A local woman who hopes her daughter-in-law will give birth to a son.

There are middle-aged workers who pray they won't be laid off by their companies and still have 25 years of mortgage payments to make.

There are students who pray they won't fail their final exams.

Some street vendors hope that the urban management officers will not come to their stalls.

A young office worker begging his client not to change the plan anymore.

A wife who hopes her husband will successfully quit smoking so as not to affect her child's growth.

Gulnazar also heard someone wishing to win five million in the lottery.

Holding three lit incense sticks, she knelt on the prayer mat and softly uttered her three wishes:
"May the Bodhisattva bless my career, improve my acting skills, and help me produce some outstanding film and television works in the future."

May my family be safe and healthy.

Gulnazar did not bow.

Because deep down they don't believe in these feudal superstitions.

This trip was mainly to familiarize myself with the content of the public service advertisement that will be filmed in a while.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Zhou Ye light three incense sticks and kneel down on the prayer mat beside him.

I'm really curious to know what Zhou Ye's wish is.

Actually, I could have thought of that.

I should be praying for a smooth entrance exam to the Beijing Film Academy and for my family to be safe and healthy.

Zhou Ye held up the incense sticks and looked up at Guanyin Bodhisattva.

Amidst the swirling smoke, a clear light shone in her eyes:

"May Guanyin Bodhisattva grant you health, longevity, freedom from illness and disaster, and a happy life."

Hear the words.

Gulnazar suddenly froze.

The fingertips holding the incense trembled slightly.

Unable to maintain the posture of a blind person, her neck unconsciously stiffened, and she turned her head to look at Zhou Ye.

Zhou Ye closed his eyes and knelt before the image of Guanyin, his forehead touching the ground.

Sincere and devout.

Pray for the gods and Buddhas.

The monk who was in charge of greeting tourists outside the door turned around and looked at Zhou Ye.

The layperson on duty in the hall, who was cleaning the offering table with a feather duster, stopped what he was doing and looked down at Zhou Ye.

The fortune-telling monk, who was interpreting the divination slips, saw a sparrow suddenly fly by outside the hall carrying a piece of prayer flag. He glanced at Zhou Ye, then lowered his head and murmured "Amitabha."

Some ask the gods for wealth and honor, some pray for peace, but only fools wish the gods happiness.

Gulnazar snapped out of her daze and looked up again.

The Guanyin Bodhisattva, with her eyes open and eyes unclosed, silently gazed at her.

She murmured, "Bodhisattva, please bless Zhou Ye with a bright future and a happy life. I beg you."

Knowing that Zhou Ye's path ahead was fraught with difficulties, he still wished him invincible success.

Done.

She bowed deeply.

Arms and forehead pressed to the ground, kneeling in devout worship again and again.

The forehead pressed the cushion into a deep indentation.

The faith in my heart was awakened.

Amidst the swirling incense smoke, they are not worshipping gods or Buddhas, but rather their own selves, who are not yet completely corrupted.

After leaving Ciyun Temple, I parted ways with Zhou Ye.

Gulnazar returned to the hotel, removed her makeup, and took out her phone to message Jiang Yang: [“Teacher Jiang, I remember you went to take the entrance exam for the Beijing Film Academy, right?”]
Jiang Yang replied: ["Yes."]
Gulnazar typed: ["Has anyone encountered a test taker named Zhou Ye?"]
["some."]
"If I run into her again during the interview, I must help her."
Jiang Yang's reply came through: ["?"]
Gulnazar typed: [“I just made a wish to Guanyin Bodhisattva, you must help her.”]
Jiang Yang replied: [“???”]
Gulnazar clicked the transfer button.

I transferred 10,000 yuan.

Jiang Yang sent a message: [“!!!”]
The transfer was shown to have been received by Jiang Yang.

Jiang Yang replied with a voice message: ["If I run into Zhou Ye in the interview, I'll definitely help him. It has nothing to do with money; it's purely a miracle."] (End of Chapter)