Rebirth of Chinese Entertainment, the Diary of a 95 Flower

Qiao Renliang tried to distract Jiang Yang and calm him down: "Look at me more. Do you know me?"

Jiang Yang paused.

His gaze fixed on Qiao Renliang's face: "I don't know him."

"I was on 'Go! Good Boys'."

I don't watch talent shows.

"I also acted in 'Legend of Lu Zhen'."

I don't watch TV dramas.

"So what do you usually watch?"

"I want to see more of the world, not just the scenery."

Seeing Jiang Yang quicken his pace and lightly kick a piece of concrete on the rooftop with the tip of his shoe, Qiao Renliang suddenly held his breath.

Jiang Yang said, "I'm afraid that if I die in the future, I won't be able to see it anymore. I really hope that everyone will like the songs I create."

He came to Jiang Yang's side, raised his hand, and placed his five fingers lightly on Jiang Yang's shoulder. Seeing that Jiang Yang did not object, he then put his arm around Jiang Yang's shoulder: "You can write songs? Perfect, I'm a singer, sing one for me, maybe I can help you in some way."

Qiao Renliang kept his elbow bent at a certain angle.

He was afraid that if Jiang Yang had any suicidal thoughts, he could pull him back in time.

This would also prevent Jiang Yang from pushing him away.

They know their symptoms all too well.

Therefore, I can understand Jiang Yang's behavior.

Jiang Yang noticed a faint, bloody teeth mark on Qiao Renliang's wrist, which was trembling slightly as he struggled to control it.

His somatization of depression was an act.

Qiao Renliang was real; when he spoke, his eyes were slightly closed, and he didn't dare to look down.

I'm afraid that if I look at it, I'll drag Jiang Yang down with me.

Two broken souls meet, their shadows supporting each other.

One is real, and the other is acting.

"Thank you."

Jiang Yang pursed his lips, not moving an inch: "Actually, I know you, Qiao Renliang, you're a big star."

"So you know me?"

"Ah."

A glint appeared in Qiao Renliang's eyes.

She couldn't see any hope for her own future, but she could see the hope that she could save Jiang Yang.

Because we know that idols have a great influence on their fans.

That's why she didn't want her fans to know that she had depression.

She was afraid that her negative emotions would affect her fans.

She only shows her fans her positive and sunny side.

"Are you my fan?" Qiao Renliang shrugged slightly, ready to grab Jiang Yang at any moment.

If so, things will be much easier afterwards.

"No."

Jiang Yang shook his head: "My idol is the actor who played Zhang Xiaoyu in 'A Little Reunion,' do you know him? He also played Qiushan Jun in 'Fighter of the Destiny'."

A brief separation? The Legend of the Condor Heroes?
I haven't watched either of these shows.

"I know him, I know him, he's a very good actor."

As Qiao Renliang spoke, he tried to turn Jiang Yang around.

Successful.

During the conversation, he had already turned halfway around.

With each sentence he spoke, he moved Jiang Yang a few centimeters.

Qiao Renliang used his body to block the view from the edge of the rooftop: "Then why did you pretend not to know me in the first place?"

"Because I was jealous of you, I insulted you online."

Jiang Yang clearly felt Qiao Renliang's arm, which was holding his, tremble slightly.

He continued, "In real life, I'm just an extra, the kind who can't even make it into the credits. When I first joined a film crew, I was full of ambition, thinking I could become a big star. But after a few years, I became numb. I was ordered around by the script supervisors and production assistants every day just to make a living. I couldn't afford a car, let alone a house. My parents also thought I was a good-for-nothing. Over time, I don't know when, I realized that my mind had become twisted. I started to envy you big stars. I know this mentality is very abnormal, but I just can't control it. I envy you big stars for earning so much money and being liked by so many people. I work very hard too. I can't help but curse you online. Do you know what I hate the most? You stars, even your pain seems like a show."

Speaking of it.

Jiang Yang paused.

There was a silence that lasted for several seconds.

Qiao Renliang continued to try, putting his arm around Jiang Yang's shoulder and leading him toward the rooftop entrance.

Realizing he was a few meters from the edge of the rooftop, he breathed a sigh of relief: "I'm listening, I'm listening."

Aren't you angry about what I'm saying?

"Haha, actually I'm a little angry, but it's nothing, I understand you."

Qiao Renliang turned to face Jiang Yang.

Subconsciously, he wanted to block Jiang Yang's path to the edge of the rooftop.

Qiao Renliang laughed and said, "I come from an ordinary family. My father is a sailor. My mother has been taking care of me full-time since I was born. It has been ten years since I debuted. I have experienced a lot. If I had heard someone say these things to me when I first debuted, I would have been upset for a long time. But I don't think that way now."

"What are you thinking now?"

"If scolding me helps you vent your emotions and make you feel better, then for me it's a good deed that accumulates merit and might even bring blessings to my family."

Hear the words.

Jiang Yang's shoulders suddenly slumped:

"Actually, the things I said to you were things I wanted to say to myself. I hate my own impotent rage, and I hate myself even more for becoming the person I used to hate the most. I'm sorry, Liang-ge." Qiao Renliang comforted him, "You don't need to apologize to me. You did nothing wrong. Besides, I really am not a good idol. I am taciturn in private. If my fans saw my negative side, they would be disappointed in me too."

Online, they are always encouraged to live positively and overcome difficulties with an optimistic attitude.

In reality, depression can become so severe that people may have suicidal thoughts at any time.

I am not worthy of being an idol.

She treats her fans this way, and she treats her mother the same way.

My mother always says, "My son looks so handsome when he smiles on TV," but she has never seen herself taking antidepressants.

I really hope Jiang Yang can live a good life.

Even though I'm already standing here.

Fans thought he was standing on a cloud, but in reality he was hanging on the edge of a cliff.

Qiao Renliang met Jiang Yang's gaze and nodded sincerely: "Jiang Yang, you are very young, you have a long road ahead of you, your parents are not old yet, live well, don't end up like me..."

The words are not finished yet.

Jiang Yang suddenly interrupted her: "What about you?"

"I?"

Will you live a good life?

Qiao Renliang was slightly taken aback, then smiled and said, "Of course I will! This world is so beautiful, promise me you'll live well."

When he was about to say the last word, his vocal cords suddenly stopped working.

Mild obstruction of the throat.

Her eyes reddened, and she struggled to hold back her tears.

He was speaking to Jiang Yang, but also to himself.

He cleared his throat and continued, "Jiang Yang, you know what? I used to always think that when I had money in the future, I would take my parents on a trip, and when I had time, I would have a nice meal with them."

Pause for one second.

He smiled wryly and said, "But sometimes, you really can't wait for 'later'."

Jiang Yang's Adam's apple bobbed, and he asked in a low voice, "And now?"

Qiao Renliang took a deep breath and forced a smile: "Now? Now I suddenly understand, as long as I'm alive, even if I only have one day left, I have to turn 'later' into 'now'."

He turned his head away, hiding his reddened eyes: "So, don't follow my example, don't wait."

"I will live well," Jiang Yang replied.

"I will too!" Qiao Renliang said softly but firmly.

Once he confirmed that Jiang Yang was safe, Qiao Renliang naturally lowered his hand and stopped gripping it tightly.

Shoulders slump.

The tense muscles finally relaxed.

Two people who wanted to die held each other back, and they both survived.

Qiao Renliang put his hands behind his back to hide the bloodstains on his wrists from the bite, pointed to the stairwell, his Adam's apple bobbed, and his voice returned to normal:
“Let’s go over there and talk. The sunlight here is too bright. Let’s talk about the songs you’ve written.”

“Okay, Brother Liang,” Jiang Yang replied.

Qiao Renliang glanced at Jiang Yang's wrist and found that it was no longer trembling as before.

After walking a few steps towards the rooftop, I was still worried. I turned around and saw Jiang Yang following me, and I felt a little more at ease.

They kept a close eye on Jiang Yang's movements.

now.

The one whose heart was hanging in suspense was Jiang Yang, who was truly at ease.

The rising sun behind him shone on his back.

His shadow completely covered Qiao Renliang in front of him.

He used his own darkness to shield Qiao Renliang from the shadows.

The person who most wants to die is trying to keep someone who is pretending to want to die alive.

Arriving at the stairwell.

The heavy iron gate had its paint peeling off, revealing a rusty brown inner layer.

The door lock was newly replaced, but there were obvious signs of wear on the bolt.

A yellowed note was pasted on the inside, which read, "Rooftop closed, entry prohibited."

The mottled gray-white wall plaster has partially peeled off, revealing cement and bricks underneath.

There were damp water stains in the corner of the wall.

The edges of the cement steps are severely worn, and the corners have been rounded.

A few cigarette butts and scraps of paper were stuck in the gap.

Qiao Renliang closed the iron gate and fastened the latch.

Sunlight slanted in through the crack in the door, creating a narrow band of light.

There is an old, motion-activated light on top that flickers and has poor contact.

The entire space instantly darkened, leaving only the sound of their breathing. Jiang Yang sat on the steps and muttered, "I wish you were a girl."

"You still have the mood to think about women? Fine, then that means you're really okay."

Before long, they started talking about the songs Jiang Yang had composed, and Qiao Renliang asked, "Have you thought of a name for your song yet?"

"I've decided, it'll be called 'The Sea of ​​Stars'."

"Do you have lyrics?" Qiao Renliang became somewhat interested.

"some."

Jiang Yang took out paper and pen, sat on the steps, and wrote down the lyrics. (End of Chapter)