Rebirth Must Be Happy

"So, the root of all this lies within myself; I turned my mother, who once loved and cherished me, into the person she is now."

Chen Xingzhu took a deep breath, and a smile returned to her face. This time, she finally felt happy and determined. "I've already made a mistake once. I can't make another one. I can't let Xu Jinhuan become like that too."

"..."

Xie Wanqing finally heard her mention Xu Jinhuan again, but this time she understood even less. She didn't know what she was trying to say, but she vaguely realized that it wasn't what she originally thought.

“I know what happened to my sister, and I know how she dealt with it. But I also know that she is a very gentle person at heart.”

Chen Xingzhu held the used tissue in her hand, then took another tissue and wiped away her tears. Noticing Xie Wanqing's expression, she explained softly, "Besides, he was there at that time, wasn't he?"

Xie Wanqing felt a little awkward and hadn't thought of how to answer yet. Chen Xingzhu seemed tired of standing, so she hugged her knees and squatted down, looking outside and saying in a somewhat ethereal voice, "I had a lot to say to my sister, but now I don't know how to say it..."

"You don't need to say anything."

Xie Wanqing also squatted down and said, "I know what you mean..."

Chen Xingzhu turned to look at her.

Xie Wanqing looked outside, not at her, trying her best to suppress her sadness, and said, "I know...you two are a perfect match, I...I..."

She wanted to say that she would withdraw voluntarily, but the words stuck in her throat and she couldn't say them.

"Sister misunderstood me."

Chen Xingzhu reached out and placed her hand over Xie Wanqing's. Her expression and tone calmed down as she said, "My sister told me about your family. I didn't say much. Uncle Li is a good person. I haven't heard of anything like this, but Xingruo said that my dad had something like this..."

Xingruo said that this kind of thing is very common. There are many public figures and entrepreneurs who are considered to be very honest and upright by the public. They appear virtuous in public and have even received awards, but they are also very unsavory in private. My dad is already considered to be very good...

"I don't know much about the game Xu Jinhuan is making, but he seems very confident and keeps saying that if it succeeds, it will be very, very profitable, much more profitable than parkour and 'clumsy bird'..."

"I don't know if he'll become that kind of person in the future. I hope he won't, I hope he won't become like that... I guess my sister wouldn't want that either, right?"

Xie Wanqing nodded, then shook her head, fearing she still hadn't expressed herself clearly, so she said, "Of course not."

Just as she was about to say that this had nothing to do with her, Chen Xingzhu asked again, "Does sister believe in the theory of inherent goodness or inherent evil?"

Xie Wanqing was not puzzled by her topic, but she still thought about it seriously for a moment and replied, "The theory of the inherent goodness of human nature."

Then he asked Chen Xingzhu, "And you?"

"I don't believe it, or rather, I believe it all."

Chen Xingzhu sniffed again and said, "I believe more in constraints and guidance, just like he talked about positive and negative feedback when he was making games. People's happiness and sense of accomplishment do not actually depend on how well they live, but on their perception and comparison of dynamics."

Xie Wanqing thought for a moment and asked, "What do you mean?"

“I haven’t been happy at home these past few years, but Uncle Li and my mom haven’t been stingy with money. I never spend all my allowance each month, so I save it.”

Chen Xingzhu hugged her knees and smiled. "When I feel wronged, I look at the money I have saved and think that I can endure it this time. If I can't endure it anymore, I will run away from home to find my sister and think about how to spend this money and whether it will be enough."

“At that time, I didn’t know how Xingruo was doing, and I was thinking of saving some money so that when I saw her, if she was not doing well, I would save this money to buy her good food and pretty clothes… Maybe if she got sick, I could even help her get medical treatment… So every time I saw my savings increase, I felt happy.”

She seemed to recall how she felt back then, and her smile deepened. Then she thought for a moment and said, "Hmm..." "Later... um, later, Xingruo followed him and found me. That's when I realized how rich my dad was. All the money I had saved was meaningless. My sister spends more on a single piece of underwear than that."

She let out a soft sigh, blinked, looked at Xie Wanqing, and then smiled again, saying, "Before we even met, my dad transferred a large sum of money to me, many, many times more than all my savings combined. But I wasn't as happy saving money as before. Even after I continued saving, I wasn't as happy anymore, because no matter how much I saved, the money seemed unchanged. I'm richer now, but I've lost a way to be happy."

Xie Wanqing nodded and said, "I can understand that."

"So, I've seen a lot of people online say that when they're dating, their boyfriends are really great, but after they get together, they gradually become less great. I was wondering, will Xu Jinhuan be like that?"

Chen Xingzhu looked thoughtful, then smiled. "I think he would do the same. It's not that he doesn't love me anymore, but when we first got together, he treated me better, and I treated him better too. From ignoring him to talking to him, from nodding and saying 'hmm' to taking the initiative to talk to him, from occasionally having a meal together to having a meal together every day, from keeping a distance when we walked together to holding hands and hugging... Every time the relationship made a breakthrough, he would get positive feedback and feel happy and blessed, so of course he would be more motivated."

Xie Wanqing pursed her lips slightly, her cheeks flushing. Noticing that she only said "holding hands, hugging" before pausing, she couldn't help but think to herself: 'Have they only held hands and hugged? Not yet…'

Thinking about it this way, I felt very shy, yet also a sweet feeling in my heart, a mix of shameful joy and sweetness.

"However, there are limits to this progress."

Chen Xingzhu looked at Xie Wanqing, noticed the change in her expression, her gaze froze slightly, and then continued, "After being together for a long time and getting married, there's no room for improvement. No matter how good he is to me, there's no room for improvement. Our relationship stagnates, there's no positive feedback, and my enthusiasm isn't as high anymore."

She stopped and asked Xie Wanqing, "Sister, what do you think might happen at this time?"

Xie Wanqing was silent for a while before asking, "Cheating?"

"It's possible."

Chen Xingzhu sighed softly, "Perhaps he won't even have to wait until he graduates from university to become very rich, and many, many girls will try every means to get close to him... With so many people, there will always be someone he likes, someone who will find a way he likes, and even..."

Chen Xingzhu smiled calmly: "Even when we get older, there will be a second Chen Xingzhu, a second Xie Wanqing, a second Song Zhiyu, just like us now... At that time, as he unknowingly grows old between work and family, will he be able to resist the attraction of youth and the white moonlight combined?"

Xie Wanqing remained silent for a moment, not answering the question, but instead patting the back of her hand and saying, "Don't be so pessimistic, he, he..."

She hesitated for a moment, then said, "He likes you very much."

"I know."

Chen Xingzhu took another deep breath and smiled broadly, "I believe he's sincere towards me, that he likes me. I believe that when he sees me, when he looks at me, that look in his eyes isn't faked, so..."

Tears suddenly fell, and she quickly raised her hand to wipe them away, but her voice was still trembling with sobs, soft and gentle: "That's why I pretended to know nothing even though I knew everything, until today."

Xie Wanqing, who was wiping away her tears, froze upon hearing this, her expression and movements stiffening. She asked somewhat awkwardly, "You... when did you find out?"

"I knew it from the beginning."

Chen Xingzhu let her hand linger on her face, and let the tears fall, smiling as she said, "I know Zhizhi likes him, I know Zhizhi is causing trouble, trying to get my sister to stop me; I know Zhizhi wants to live in the same room as him, and even hid a lipstick; I know my sister's gaze towards him is slowly changing; I know he's made money and is slowly developing other thoughts; I also know what he's thinking..."

She paused, choking back tears, then more tears welled up. "But I don't know what to do... I stopped him this time, and I succeeded; I stopped him next time, and I succeeded again; but the time after that, and the time after that, will he still choose me?"

"Yes!"

Xie Wanqing was caught off guard when she suddenly burst into tears again, and was somewhat at a loss. She even temporarily forgot their current identities and relationship. She hurriedly wiped away her tears, and when she couldn't wipe them all away, she simply pulled her into her arms, and said in a sob, "Don't cry, I won't take him from you..."

"No, that's not what I meant."

Chen Xingzhu quickly shook her head, taking deep breaths to try and suppress her somewhat out-of-control emotions. She choked out, "I don't blame my sister. I understand that feeling. If anyone's to blame, it's him, it's Zhizhi. Among us, my sister is the most innocent one... I'm not angry." (End of Chapter)